The Atlantic

Aziz Ansari and the Paradox of ‘No’

A viral story highlights the lingering difference between the language—and the practice—of consent.
Source: Kevork Djansezian / BAFTA LA / Getty / The Atlantic

It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned. I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said.

I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue.

That was Aziz Ansari, responding to a story that was published about him over the weekend, a story that doubled for many readers as an allegation not of criminal sexual misconduct, but of misbehavior of a more subtle strain: aggression. Entitlement. Excessive persistence. His statement, accordingly—not an apology but not, either, a denial—occupies that strange and viscous space between defiance and regret. I was surprised and concerned. I took her words to heart.

The story was published, on the site , on Saturday; over the weekend, it quickly evolved from a story into a story about a story into a story about a story about a story. It was treated as . And as in a world in which a private sexual encounter can be converted, nearly instantly, into a piece of sharable media. The story was discussed in and in and in and on Glenn Beck’s radio show. It was discussed on social media, both as a relatable example of sex gone wrong, in the manner of a nonfictional “,” and as evidence that #MeToo has confused justice with vigilantism. The story was politicized and polemicized and, in the process, turned into a parable: an interaction between two people, presented as an embodiment of the questions that linger, still, around the rhetoric of sexual consent.

You’re reading a preview, subscribe to read more.

More from The Atlantic

The Atlantic3 min readAmerican Government
The Strongest Case Against Donald Trump
If Donald Trump beats Nikki Haley on Saturday in her home state of South Carolina, where he leads in the polls, he’s a cinch to win the GOP nomination. And if he wins the GOP nomination, he has a very good shot at winning the presidency. So it’s wort
The Atlantic4 min read
Your Phone Has Nothing on AM Radio
This article was featured in the One Story to Read Today newsletter. Sign up for it here. There is little love lost between Senator Ted Cruz and Representative Rashida Tlaib. She has called him a “dumbass” for his opposition to the Paris Climate Agre
The Atlantic8 min readAmerican Government
The GOP Has Crossed an Ominous Threshold on Foreign Policy
The long decline of the Republican Party’s internationalist wing may have reached a tipping point. Since Donald Trump emerged as the GOP’s dominant figure in 2016, he has championed an isolationist and nationalist agenda that is dubious of internatio

Related Books & Audiobooks