Women's Health

STATES OF THE UNITED SEX

FINDING # 1 : MEN ARE STRESSED ABOUT SEX.

Women’s sexuality is complicated, men’s is simple. Or...not—because our survey turned that tired notion on its head. One-third of women said they were having sex at least two or three times a week, and, round of applause, 71 percent said they were either “thrilled” or “satisfied” with their sex lives. Men, however, were getting busy at exactly the same rate as women, but only 51 percent were thrilled or satisfied. What gives? We asked Daniel Lebowitz, codirector and male sexuality specialist at The Intimacy Institute in Boulder, Colorado, to throw some light on this pleasure chasm.

“‘I feel bad about my body’ is a sentence I’ve heard more and more often in the past five years,” says Lebowitz. “A combination of male objectification—think of Zac Efron’s abs in the Baywatch trailer—and porn has played a part in men feeling like they don’t measure up and doubting their abilities in bed. Women have been feeling body-image pressure for years, so they’re able to identify it and speak up about it. But for many men, there’s a sense of isolation.” Lebowitz works to remind men that porn isn’t reality. “It can make them feel like their own sex life isn’t good enough.”

The blurring of roles in modern relationships can also lead to a tentativeness that spills over into the bedroom, says Lebowitz. “Men and women both pull their weight financially want? Sexperts say their male clients wish their partners would, on occasion, do the things below—and before you protest that puts the onus on you, reflect on this: When his satisfaction goes up, so does yours.

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