The Atlantic

Dear Therapist: I Don’t Want My Nightmare Brother at Thanksgiving

On one hand, we don’t get along. On the other, he lives 10 minutes away.
Source: Bianca Bagnarelli

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at

Dear Therapist,

I have struggled to get along with my brother for the past 15 to 20 years, putting up with his sarcasm, his demeaning behavior, and his planning family gatherings in which everyone is invited but me. If I dare to voice an opinion that differs from his, he raises his voice in a loud, frightening manner against me. Both my husband and I try to never bring up subjects that my brother and we disagree on, but on occasion something will slip out before we realize our blunder.

I know my brother has had a difficult life and I do feel a lot of compassion for him. He struggled with drug addiction throughout his

You're reading a preview, sign up to read more.

More from The Atlantic

The Atlantic4 min read
A Historic NBA Championship for the Raptors
The Golden State Warriors were hampered by injuries, but the league’s newest victors were built to seize on the opportunity.
The Atlantic3 min read
The Family Weekly: How the American Dream Leads Straight to McMansion Hell
Plus: How to negotiate with your kids like a business professor, and the age of “sharenting” is coming to an end.
The Atlantic4 min readPolitics
Why Trump Uses Mock Spanish
When Donald Trump tweeted Thursday morning that Democrats “have gone absolutely ‘Loco,’” the most surprising thing about it was that he had never called anyone loco on Twitter before. There was a time last fall when Trump couldn’t stop using the Span