The Atlantic

Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together

I want to be there for him, but his depressive episodes are difficult for me to handle.
Source: Bianca Bagnarelli

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s, and we recently moved in together after being in a long-distance relationship for four years. I've always known that he battles depression and has mild Asperger’s. Recently, his depression has gotten much worse, and because this is the first time he has gotten very depressed since we’ve been physically together, I have no idea what I’m doing. It is like I’m walking on eggshells every time we speak, and if I say the wrong thing, he just shuts down. I can’t push him for information or try to get him to help me with something around the house. I can barely get a normal conversation. I feel so alone.

I love him very much, and I plan to

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