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  • The Atlantic

    Dear Therapist: A Professor Is Abusing My Friend

    Her relationship shows all the typical signs of emotional manipulation and physical harm, but she refuses to admit that there’s a problem.
    by Lori Gottlieb Mar 18, 2019 6 minutes
    Source: Bianca Bagnarelli

    Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

    Dear Therapist,

    My best friend is currently in a romantic and sexual relationship with a 50-year-old professor at our university. I'm extremely worried, since I suspect the professor is emotionally manipulating her so he can sexually exploit her.

    Over the summer, my friend started working as a nanny for the professor and his wife. After three days on the job, he told her that he "fell in love with her at first sight" and suggested that she was his soulmate. Since this confession, they've been dating and having sex. I was disgusted by this, but refrained from criticizing the relationship, since I thought it could lead to the end of our friendship and also figured the relationship would be short-lived given the age difference.

    Unfortunately, the relationship is still going on and I think my friend is being abused. She has been hospitalized twice due to BDSM activities

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