Dementia: How to Find the Right Fit for Long-Term Care
For Larry Barrett, the agonizing decision to find a memory care community for his wife, Martha, began 10 years ago. That's when Larry first noticed that something was going on with Martha, then 60, a lawyer. She'd forget the name of a person she met the night before. On a trip to Louisville, Ky., where she grew up, she forgot the way to her childhood home.
Larry persuaded Martha in 2010 to see a neurologist, who diagnosed her with mild cognitive impairment. In the years that followed, Martha's condition progressed to Alzheimer's. Larry tried to care for her himself, but things got complicated. He sold their house in Friendship Heights, Md., and moved them into a nearby apartment. Martha began to wander. Once, when Larry was attending a support group for spouses of people with dementia, the apartment building's front desk staff called to say they had found Martha disoriented.
"I was reaching the point where she couldn't be appropriately cared for at home," says Larry, now age 83. After a yearlong search, he found a nearby memory care community for Martha in 2017. The process took an emotional toll. "It's one of the hardest decisions you can make in your life," he says.
Many family members of people with dementia face the same decision Larry Barrett did. They want a spouse or parent to get, such as an elderly parent being left alone all day, and feel guilty about making the choice to move him or her.
