Dear Therapist: I Don’t Understand Why My Girlfriend Dumped Me

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

Nearly two months ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. It was quite shocking at the moment, especially considering that we had just spent a lovely weekend out of town visiting her sister and brother-in-law. She explained that something about their relationship reminded her of “what she wants,” and that being with me would compromise her pursuit of this.

I didn’t fully understand what she meant, and I was too astonished to even push back. During our final embrace, in the park, she told me that she loved me. I told her that I loved her too. The surges of heartbreak immediately rushed through my chest, and my