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    Imaginary Jesus: A Not-Quite True Story
    Imaginary Jesus: A Not-Quite True Story
    Imaginary Jesus: A Not-Quite True Story
    Audiobook5 hours

    Imaginary Jesus: A Not-Quite True Story

    Written by Matt Mikalatos

    Narrated by Matt Mikalatos

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    "Imaginary Jesus" is an hilarious, fast-paced, not-quite-fictional story that's unlike anything you've ever read before. When Matt Mikalatos realizes that his longtime buddy in the robe and sandals isn't the real Jesus at all, but an imaginary one, he embarks on a mission to find the real thing. On his wild ride through time, space, and Portland, Oregon, he encounters hundreds of other Imaginary Jesuses determined to stand in his way (like Legalistic Jesus, Perpetually Angry Jesus, and Magic 8 Ball Jesus). But Matt won't stop until he finds the real Jesus-and finally gets an answer to the question that's haunted him for years. Be warned: "Imaginary Jesus" may bring you face-to-face with an imposter in your own life.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherChristianAudio.com
    Release dateDec 1, 2010
    ISBN9781596442504
    Imaginary Jesus: A Not-Quite True Story
    Author

    Matt Mikalatos

    Matt Mikalatos works for a non-profit dedicated to helping people live better, fuller lives. He has done non-profit work all over the world, and he and his family lived in Asia for several years. He currently lives in the Portland, Oregon area with his wife and three daughters.

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    Reviews for Imaginary Jesus

    4/5

    64 ratings17 reviews

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    • 4/5
      Oh goodness, what a book! As this hilarious "not-quite-true" story opens, Matt Mikalatos is in his favorite trendy little café with his hip personal Jesus when someone walks in and socks Matt's Jesus on the nose. Jesus takes off, robes flapping in the wind, with Matt and the stranger Pete (aka the Apostle Peter) in hot pursuit. And so begins a wild journey to discover the real Jesus amidst all the fakes. Because there are plenty of fakes. Along the way we meet a plethora of false Jesuses, each based on a particular trait or ideal Mikalatos has dreamed up. There's Perpetually Angry Jesus and Harley Jesus and Testerone Jesus. There's Political Power Jesus and Peacenik Jesus (those two end up brawling) and Free Will Jesus and Meticulous Jesus (those two also clash). There are more Jesuses than I can enumerate here, and each one has a grain of truth that has been magnified to swallow up his whole character. What did Voltaire say — God created man in His own image, and we've been returning the favor ever since? So true!This book is a crazy mixture of genres. There's some autobiographical stuff mixed in with all the bizarre situations and characters. We have a talking donkey and a Frog of Hate. There is much loving parody of Christian culture (like when Mikalatos is transported to first-century Palestine and starts looking around for the modern-day kids from Christian animated movies who are time-warped to Bible times to be part of the adventure, haha). There are some laugh-out-loud lines, like this:The first century smelled like what Christians call a "men's retreat." This is when men leave their wives and children for several days, go to the mountains, and yell at each other, "Stop neglecting your wife and children!"Haha!And yet underneath all the highly entertaining humor and puns and ridiculous scenarios, Mikalatos really is saying something important. He raises questions of loss and pain, and what we do when Jesus doesn't stop that terrible thing from happening to us. When He fails to meet our expectations. I was challenged to ask myself: what Jesus have I created? And how can I get rid of him for the real thing? It's a cliché to say a book made me laugh and cry, but this one actually did. I chuckled out loud at several points, and teared up at others that hit close to home. Mikalatos finally gets to the heart of his journey when he broaches the accusation he'd been silently holding against Jesus all those years. I wonder how many of us carry those accusing questions around with us that we never quite ask Him...On the back cover blurb, author Gary Thomas compares Mikalatos's writing with the "imaginative whimsy of C. S. Lewis," and the comparison is apt. Witty, inventive, and unpredictable, this Sunday-School-lesson-gone-rogue is a fresh take on the tired, safe way we usually approach the Son of God. I look forward to reading more of Mikalatos's particular brand of reverent hilarity and unexpected depth. Recommended!
    • 4/5
      This book was FUNNY. It is straight up Christian faux-fiction, a complex parable with all the standard moving parable parts: a moral to teach, animal characters, convoluted answers that force the reader/listener to consider various perspectives. To that point, Christian literature in general could learn a lot from how this book was presented. As an Agnostic, I read it based on the title, was sucked in after less than a page, and finished it thinking “Man. that was pretty damn good”. Imaginary Jesus, written by Matt Mikalatos, had me going.The basis for this book can be likened a lot to Gaiman’s American Gods, in the aspect that people’s gods can have different flavors and idiosyncrasies. In American Gods, a person or group brings their gods with them, as with the Vikings crossing the Atlantic. Their gods wax or wane in power depending on the tenacity of those who believe in them. But where American Gods was tightly centered around the lost gods, Imaginary Jesus is all about just one.NOW, when I say “just one” i mean that in the loosest sense of the phrase. Imaginary Jesus is actually about countless numbers of the man. Essentially this comedic parable is in existence to point out that Jesus is many things to many people, though there is only “One”.The story is loosely Autobiographical, with Matt and his search for the “Real Jesus” at the core of the novel. It opens with Matt sitting around the Red and Black Cafe in Portland Oregon. While in the cafe, Matt sits reading his bible, hoping that none of the locals notice that it is not Marx, else a one sided debate will open with a definite anti-xtian vibe. Sitting across the table from him is Jesus, who goes everywhere with Matt. Jesus is one of his best friends, keeping Matt company through out his daily tasks, even helping him get out of parking tickets.A man enters the Red and Black, and though no one else can, he sees Jesus sitting across the table from Matt. Discussions and a high speed car chase down the wrong direction of one way streets ensue. You see, the man who can also see Jesus is the Apostle Peter (Pete). Pete advises Matt that he is in the company of an impostor, an Imaginary Jesus. One that is a construct of his own mind and meets Matt’s specific desires for what the Christian God should be like. In chapter one, it just gets better, as that is all in the prologue (chapter zero).The novel follows Matt and Pete as they discuss and search out the real Jesus, so that Matt can meet him for the first time.There is a full cast in this book. Apostles, motorcycle angels, talking donkeys, a couple prostitutes, some Athiests, Mormon missionaries, and more. Aside from those just mentioned, Imaginary deities abound, each in varied levels of power as the populace who follows them may be weak or strong. These deities are formed together into the Secret Society of Imaginary Jesus-es, working together to continue to exist in the face of reality (no, I am not joking).Variations include but are not limited to: * Liberal Social Services Jesus * Testosterone Jesus * Perpetually Angry Jesus * Magic 8-Ball Jesus * Mostly Dead Jesus (some people prefer him mostly dead) * Conservative Truth Telling Jesus * Bargain Jesus * Pure Reckless Fantasy Jesus * Hippie/Peace Jesus * King James Jesus (SCARY!) * You-should-get-a-divorce-and-marry-a-younger-woman Jesus * Thousands of other Jesus that an individual may have rationalized due to comfort levelAll in all, this was a fantastic book. It kept me laughing through out, and even though I am not a religious person, I found it to be well thought out and presented in a fantastic manner.--xpost RawBlurb.com
    • 4/5
      Author and book character Matt Mikalatos confronts his imaginary Jesus (and scores of other versions of Jesus) in his persuit of the real thing. At his side are Daisy the talking donkey, the apostle Pete and Motorcycle Guy. Ultimately he finds the (not his) real Jesus. Fun and fast-paced, though a little uneven at times. I liked it...
    • 5/5
      What a fantastic book. My main takeaway from this book is that many of us are following our own imaginary Jesus instead of the real Jesus. Too often we try to make Jesus into who we want or expect him to be rather than who he is. This book helped me realize some of the imaginary Jesus's I have created in my own life.

      The story is also a very entertaining read as well as thoughtful in it's teachings and lessons. I learned a lot, and enjoyed it very much.
    • 4/5
      I found this one through a list of free/cheap Kindle books. It was (and still currently is) free. That and the content makes it worth downloading..

      It's a fun novel about a guy and his imaginary Jesus(es), who he discovers - with the help of a swarthy Peter and a talking donkey and some other friends - may not be the Real Jesus, but only the ones that make him feel comfortable. The story is a fun and surprisingly deep tour through all the different images of Jesus that are around today - hippie Jesus, anarchist Jesus, Mormon Jesus, New Age Jesus, emerging church Jesus, ... pick your favorite alternate Jesus and Matt runs into him.

      The book is set in and around Portland, Oregon and uses some cultural landmarks. If you've been to Powell's Books or the Red and Black or Voodoo Donuts, you'll enjoy the visits.

      I really enjoyed this one. It's a quick read, very fast, very fun and entertaining. The end is quite a bit more touching than I expected.

      There are a few awkward spots - some characters are written way more over the top than they need to be (Men's Retreat Jesus could have been SO much better, but as it was he was pretty funny).

      It's a good companion to something like Blue Like Jazz, although not nearly as profound. It would be great for questioning Christians, youth groups, open minded atheists, bored Christians. Anybody with a sense of humor about thier own belief system would get a kick out of this one.

      And you can't beat the Kindle version price.
    • 3/5
      Matt has an interesting take on the versions of Jesus that people have relationships with and idolise. The first half of the book sets the scene and then Matt begins the second half promising to present the real Jesus. I appreciate the interesting idea presented and it was a fairly well told story, but I felt like I was left waiting a long time during that second half of the book only to be thoroughly disappointed with the weird, mystical, seemingly intangible version of the 'right Jesus' presented near the end.
    • 4/5
      Oh goodness, what a book! As this hilarious "not-quite-true" story opens, Matt Mikalatos is in his favorite trendy little café with his hip personal Jesus when someone walks in and socks Matt's Jesus on the nose. Jesus takes off, robes flapping in the wind, with Matt and the stranger Pete (aka the Apostle Peter) in hot pursuit. And so begins a wild journey to discover the real Jesus amidst all the fakes. Because there are plenty of fakes. Along the way we meet a plethora of false Jesuses, each based on a particular trait or ideal Mikalatos has dreamed up. There's Perpetually Angry Jesus and Harley Jesus and Testerone Jesus. There's Political Power Jesus and Peacenik Jesus (those two end up brawling) and Free Will Jesus and Meticulous Jesus (those two also clash). There are more Jesuses than I can enumerate here, and each one has a grain of truth that has been magnified to swallow up his whole character. What did Voltaire say — God created man in His own image, and we've been returning the favor ever since? So true!This book is a crazy mixture of genres. There's some autobiographical stuff mixed in with all the bizarre situations and characters. We have a talking donkey and a Frog of Hate. There is much loving parody of Christian culture (like when Mikalatos is transported to first-century Palestine and starts looking around for the modern-day kids from Christian animated movies who are time-warped to Bible times to be part of the adventure, haha). There are some laugh-out-loud lines, like this:The first century smelled like what Christians call a "men's retreat." This is when men leave their wives and children for several days, go to the mountains, and yell at each other, "Stop neglecting your wife and children!"Haha!And yet underneath all the highly entertaining humor and puns and ridiculous scenarios, Mikalatos really is saying something important. He raises questions of loss and pain, and what we do when Jesus doesn't stop that terrible thing from happening to us. When He fails to meet our expectations. I was challenged to ask myself: what Jesus have I created? And how can I get rid of him for the real thing? It's a cliché to say a book made me laugh and cry, but this one actually did. I chuckled out loud at several points, and teared up at others that hit close to home. Mikalatos finally gets to the heart of his journey when he broaches the accusation he'd been silently holding against Jesus all those years. I wonder how many of us carry those accusing questions around with us that we never quite ask Him...On the back cover blurb, author Gary Thomas compares Mikalatos's writing with the "imaginative whimsy of C. S. Lewis," and the comparison is apt. Witty, inventive, and unpredictable, this Sunday-School-lesson-gone-rogue is a fresh take on the tired, safe way we usually approach the Son of God. I look forward to reading more of Mikalatos's particular brand of reverent hilarity and unexpected depth. Recommended!
    • 3/5
      There comes a point in the journey with Jesus that we are asked to go beyond the how's the weather conversation. This book explores one persons journey into getting rid of the easy-answer, imaginary Jesus' of his life for the soul penetrating, real Jesus. Along the way, he confronts the many names of these imaginary Jesus'. My favorites were the eight-ball Jesus and the testosterone Jesus.
    • 4/5
      This is a crazy jumbled ride to discover the real Jesus. I liked the way the author exposed our false ideas of who Jesus Christ is, how we think of him in terms of our own likes, dislikes, and fears. I didn't quite get the point of the Mormon missionaries and being a Mormon myself could see that the ideas of these missionaries were not Mormon ideas but maybe someone's ideas of what they think Mormon's believe. I did find the portrayals of the real Jesus wonderful and inviting.
    • 4/5
      Matt Mikalatos is having a nice lunch with Jesus Christ at the Red and Black Cafe in Portland, Oregon when a burly guy comes in, notices Matt reading a Bible and comes over and introduces himself as Pete. Matt is surprised when Pete engages Jesus in conversation (few can see him), and suddenly punches him in the face. Jesus takes off running (impressive speed for the desert robes and sandals), and Pete gathers Matt and takes off in hot pursuit. "That was an imaginary Jesus, my friend." "I've known Jesus for a long time," says Matt. "What makes you think you know him better than I do?" "Because," Pete says, "I'm the apostle Peter."From there it gets seriously weird, hilarious, silly and profound, as Matt (sometimes with the aid of Pete, sometimes Daisy (a talking donkey), sometimes others) realizes that the Jesus he has become so comfortable with is an imaginary construct, and undertakes a spiritual quest to find the real Jesus. "Think Monty Python meets C.S. Lewis", says the cover blurb, and that pretty well describes it. But this was a very intriguing tale for this agnostic to read as Matt runs into a series of Jesuses, all imaginary constructs of different desires and philosophies. The conclusion, when Matt succeeds in his quest and some questions are answered, some not, was profoundly moving and left me teary-eyed. A fascinating book that I think would have met the approval of both C.S. Lewis and the Monty Python troupe.
    • 3/5
      A really weird book. Funny in parts, yes, but very strange I thought anyway! The weirdest Christian book I've read fiction or nonfiction.
    • 4/5
      Author and book character Matt Mikalatos confronts his imaginary Jesus (and scores of other versions of Jesus) in his persuit of the real thing. At his side are Daisy the talking donkey, the apostle Pete and Motorcycle Guy. Ultimately he finds the (not his) real Jesus. Fun and fast-paced, though a little uneven at times. I liked it...
    • 5/5
      In a kind of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets the New Testament, Matt Mikalatos gets to the very heart of the real Jesus and what it means to follow Him. Don't get hung up on the crazy stuff- go with it, and you'll be pleasantly surprised by how deeply the story touches you.
    • 4/5
      This book was FUNNY. It is straight up Christian faux-fiction, a complex parable with all the standard moving parable parts: a moral to teach, animal characters, convoluted answers that force the reader/listener to consider various perspectives. To that point, Christian literature in general could learn a lot from how this book was presented. As an Agnostic, I read it based on the title, was sucked in after less than a page, and finished it thinking “Man. that was pretty damn good”. Imaginary Jesus, written by Matt Mikalatos, had me going.The basis for this book can be likened a lot to Gaiman’s American Gods, in the aspect that people’s gods can have different flavors and idiosyncrasies. In American Gods, a person or group brings their gods with them, as with the Vikings crossing the Atlantic. Their gods wax or wane in power depending on the tenacity of those who believe in them. But where American Gods was tightly centered around the lost gods, Imaginary Jesus is all about just one.NOW, when I say “just one” i mean that in the loosest sense of the phrase. Imaginary Jesus is actually about countless numbers of the man. Essentially this comedic parable is in existence to point out that Jesus is many things to many people, though there is only “One”.The story is loosely Autobiographical, with Matt and his search for the “Real Jesus” at the core of the novel. It opens with Matt sitting around the Red and Black Cafe in Portland Oregon. While in the cafe, Matt sits reading his bible, hoping that none of the locals notice that it is not Marx, else a one sided debate will open with a definite anti-xtian vibe. Sitting across the table from him is Jesus, who goes everywhere with Matt. Jesus is one of his best friends, keeping Matt company through out his daily tasks, even helping him get out of parking tickets.A man enters the Red and Black, and though no one else can, he sees Jesus sitting across the table from Matt. Discussions and a high speed car chase down the wrong direction of one way streets ensue. You see, the man who can also see Jesus is the Apostle Peter (Pete). Pete advises Matt that he is in the company of an impostor, an Imaginary Jesus. One that is a construct of his own mind and meets Matt’s specific desires for what the Christian God should be like. In chapter one, it just gets better, as that is all in the prologue (chapter zero).The novel follows Matt and Pete as they discuss and search out the real Jesus, so that Matt can meet him for the first time.There is a full cast in this book. Apostles, motorcycle angels, talking donkeys, a couple prostitutes, some Athiests, Mormon missionaries, and more. Aside from those just mentioned, Imaginary deities abound, each in varied levels of power as the populace who follows them may be weak or strong. These deities are formed together into the Secret Society of Imaginary Jesus-es, working together to continue to exist in the face of reality (no, I am not joking).Variations include but are not limited to: * Liberal Social Services Jesus * Testosterone Jesus * Perpetually Angry Jesus * Magic 8-Ball Jesus * Mostly Dead Jesus (some people prefer him mostly dead) * Conservative Truth Telling Jesus * Bargain Jesus * Pure Reckless Fantasy Jesus * Hippie/Peace Jesus * King James Jesus (SCARY!) * You-should-get-a-divorce-and-marry-a-younger-woman Jesus * Thousands of other Jesus that an individual may have rationalized due to comfort levelAll in all, this was a fantastic book. It kept me laughing through out, and even though I am not a religious person, I found it to be well thought out and presented in a fantastic manner.--xpost RawBlurb.com
    • 3/5
      Those who live in the Pacific Northwest will find the Portlander humor hysterical. There's something about sog on the brain that warps writers minds and makes them downright whacky. Perhaps it is because I went to school in Oregon (Portland) and now live in Seattle, that I find the vegan socialist cafes and Mormon missionaries knocking door-to-door hilarious, especially when the main character offers them a cup of coffee. The concept of imaginary Jesus is original and philosophical. Those who are willing to go on a journey with a talking donkey and sledding with Jesus will tumble through this Alice in Wonderland-like venture happily. If you are easily offended by alternative thoughts, you may want to stay clear. If you have no sense of humor about the search for religion than you also might want to skip this satirical, but also deeply serious story. Philosophical tales can be tricky when it comes to fiction. By nature, they are floaty, abstract and tend to slip into what professors of Creative Writing refer to as "The Talking Head." This alternative world is inside the character's head and at times feels like he has no legs that are cemented in reality. But, if you are into philosophy you may ask, 'What is reality?' and continue floating helplessly in the pool of the infinite mind. I personally like philosophical novels, but need a bit more grounding then this story provides.
    • 4/5
      Matt Mikalatos has a good sense of humor. I'm not used to reading books that employ such humor in teaching about Jesus. It was rough to read at first and there were a few shocks here and there. That said, he did a good job at pointing out how people often create their own "imaginary Jesus" who looks nothing like the Jesus taught in the Bible. All in all, I think it was a pretty good book.
    • 5/5
      The concept is simple- that people invariably create a "Jesus" to fit their lives, rather than having their life fit the real Jesus. These Imaginary Jesus-es have aspects of the real Jesus, but ultimately fall short. This is the story of the author confronting the imaginary Jesus in a comic way. While the story is mostly comedic, there are some very realistic confrontations with the author and his beliefs- the sorts of arguments you hear time and again. He really does a great job dealing with the "Why weren't you there when..." scenarios that tend to haunt people. There were some parts of the book that made Jesus *real*. It certainly made me analyze my personal beliefs. This is a book that needs more than one reading.