Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

Cinderella Ate My Daughter
Cinderella Ate My Daughter
Cinderella Ate My Daughter
Audiobook6 hours

Cinderella Ate My Daughter

Written by Peggy Orenstein

Narrated by Peggy Orenstein

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

()

About this audiobook

Peggy Orenstein, acclaimed author of the groundbreaking New York Times bestsellers Girls & Sex and Schoolgirls, offers a radical, timely wake-up call for parents, revealing the dark side of a pretty and pink culture confronting girls at every turn as they grow into adults.

Sweet and sassy or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as the source of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages. But how dangerous is pink and pretty, anyway? Being a princess is just make-believe; eventually they grow out of it . . . or do they?

In search of answers, Peggy Orenstein visited Disneyland, trolled American Girl Place, and met parents of beauty-pageant preschoolers tricked out like Vegas showgirls. The stakes turn out to be higher than she ever imagined. From premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism, the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable—yet armed with awareness and recognition, parents can effectively counterbalance its influence in their daughters' lives.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperAudio
Release dateJun 12, 2012
ISBN9780062209832
Cinderella Ate My Daughter
Author

Peggy Orenstein

Peggy Orenstein is the New York Times bestselling author of Boys & Sex, Don’t Call Me Princess, Girls & Sex, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Waiting for Daisy, Flux, and Schoolgirls. A frequent contributor to the New York Times, she has written for the Washington Post, The Atlantic, Afar, The New Yorker, and other publications, and has contributed commentary to NPR’s All Things Considered and PBS NewsHour. She lives in Northern California.

More audiobooks from Peggy Orenstein

Related to Cinderella Ate My Daughter

Related audiobooks

Relationships For You

View More

Related articles

Reviews for Cinderella Ate My Daughter

Rating: 3.7287878957575753 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

330 ratings36 reviews

What did you think?

Tap to rate

Review must be at least 10 words

  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This was an excellent book. Already reading more of this author's work and also started "Pink Brain, Blue Brain," which Peggy mentioned in the book. I would love to see another audiobook from Ms Orenstein!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    SUCH a good book. Every parent of a girl NEEDS to read this! It has given me so much to think about--and change.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book on the "pink" wars and the trend toward princess culture in childhood, as well as gender based expectations is not a sermon or a lecture; it is a conversation. The author has an easy style, interlaced with a lot of humor, and the personal anecdotes, while not presented as evidence, help add a personal touch. In fact, it is usually the events with her own daughter (the anecdotes) that act as the stimulus to research more completely. The author does not dismiss the reality of gender differences, but she tries to demonstrate the affect that emphasizing the differences creates in young women, and the pervasiveness of messages that girls are supposed to be "hot" or "sexy". The most horrifying chapter was probably the one on beauty pageants for little girls, though the author goes out of her way not to condemn the parents (perhaps bending over a bit too far at times). A must-read for anyone who interacts with females of any age.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Perhaps this would have been better as longish article in a magazine like the Atlantic. It was a very interesting concept and much of the beginning chapters was fascinating. When the author went out on her own to do some observational experimentation, the substance was definitely lacking.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Peggy Orenstein tussles with the Great Debate of Modern Motherhood: how does one raise a daughter in a world that wishes to choke her with sequins and sparkles? Or rather, how does one encourage a young girl to flourish under the constant pink haze of girlie-girl culture? Cinderella Ate My Daughter explores the recent spike in girl-centric marketing and the alarming fetishization of the infamous Disney Princesses as the reigning heroines (and role models) for girls under seven years old. At the same time, Orenstein shares her faltering feminist ideals with readers after she is faced with the task of raising her own daughter: even in a house where Disney films are absent, the young girl learns and embraces the passive politics of Snow White at the (staggering!) age of four. Orenstein shines in the segments where she allows her doubts to creep in; rather than preaching a staunch, second-wave manifesto against all things bejewelled, she gives herself space to probe her politics and open new discussions with her daughter. For readers with a background in women's studies, you will find nothing new about the broad, gender-based discussion. Also, Orenstein introduces a troubling trend in her writing wherein she tends to privilege traditional boys' games and toys as the alternative to hyper-feminine girls' games. But, for the casual feminist, the book could prove to be a nice 'n' light introduction to the troubling trend of the pink ghettoization taking place in the toy aisles. Ideal for: Armchair feminists and casual gender-politics readers; Mothers who like to fret over feminist issues without needing real answers to their fears; Disney haters.(less)
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I wish I had read this six months ago because I would have made it part of my Pop Culture Studies curriculum. Orenstein explores the many facets of girl culture and how difficult it can be for mothers (I'm I'm adding in aunts, teachers, etc.) to help girls navigate that culture.

    Most disturbing to me was Orenstein's revelation (something I think I knew but hadn't really articulated) that girls often do not really know what they want outside of "feeling pretty" or performing hyper-sexualized actions.

    Loved this book, and will probably read it again and teach from it next year.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was full of examples that made me ponder aspects of this topic. It's an interesting one and well worth consideration.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I'm going to be really picky here, but how do I trust someone who is supposed to have "read the research" and gets major points wrong? In the chapter entitled "It's All About the Cape" she calls Big Barda's husband Mr. Miracle a milquetoast - she is stronger than him and very protective of him, but that does not mean he is weak. She also asserts that Wonder Woman's mother is Hera - the queen of the Amazons. sigh. That would be Hippolyta. Hera is the wife of Zeus - a goddess and considered the queen of the Greek gods.That said, while the book was interesting I don't understand the angst about raising a daughter. I think I've done a pretty good job with my daughter (who will be 15 this year) without beating myself up about her toy/movie/literature choices. She went through a pink and purple faze - waving a wand and wearing a tiara. She moved on to horses - because the movie Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron captured her imagination more than the straight to DVD Cinderella II release. It didn't hurt that Lilo and Stitch was Disney's offering that year... Becka had Barbies. So did her big brother Daniel. But I didn't worry that playing with Barbie would give her unreal expectations about herself. Honestly, I don't remember ever having the same kind of worries Ms. Orenstein has about her daughter. I just did what felt right and offered my daughter many options to choose from. She learned early on that I usually wouldn't succumb to her requests for a toy, but I could always be talked into buying her a book or kid's magazine. While I didn't always love her choices, unless they were too mature for her, I let her pick what she wanted.She has grown into a mature young woman with a strong sense of herself and isn't obsessed with her looks or boys. Okay, this has turned more into a story about my daughter than a book review. I guess I could have summed it up with one word - meh.Update on review: My daughter made it through high school unscathed and is now a college sophomore. She still does not buy into some people's expectations of how she should behave because of her gender. And I still believe blaming the princess culture for your daughter being a girly-girl who limits her own choices is too simplistic.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Recommended to me by the sister of a friend (or rather, recommended for my brother and I read it while he put it off) because of the Sarkeesian uproar. The author, who has previously written on girl culture at the adolescent level, finds herself face-to-face with girlie-girl culture after the birth of her daughter. She then examines the rise of princesses/pinkification/sparkles/etc. that has grown over the last 20 years or so. Makes it very apparent that navigating the fluff'nstuff is hard for today's mom- give in to what your child wants, or avoid princesses at the risk of marking 'feminine' as 'bad'?
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    ugh, it isn't often that I begin reading a book and take an instant dislike to the author...I have now. I hope I can manage to finish this one for book group....

    I really can't begin to say how much this author and her book annoyed me. Maybe my one star rating tells it all? I think she was trying to come off a little tongue in cheek, but mostly came off as smug and a bit of a know-it-all.

    You can certainly figure out what demographic she falls into and know instantly that this class of parent is way too worried about how their children are going to turn out, rather than enjoying their lives as the go along.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I read this really fast... and will re-read when/if I'm pregnant with my first daughter. I thought this was a really fair, hard look at the "girlie-girl" culture and what means for our daughters. I really appreciated that the author acknowledged that these are not black-and-white (or pink-and-blue) issues, but questions that we should continue to wrestle with.

    How would you fill in this sentence?
    "If I were a [noun], I'd [verb] to the store."

    Ex.: If I were a ball, I'd roll to the store.

  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I found this book informative, well-written, and short on answers. I have a 4-year-old daughter who is just (apparently) coming out of an obsession with the Disney princess stories, though apart from one thrift-store dress, and one schoolmate's play room, we haven't even seen any of the merchandise. The Girlie-girl culture may not be as ubiquitous as Orenstein worries, but it's definitely out there. I think her advice to start kids thinking critically about all this before the minefield of adolescence is just right, even if we're not in the thick of it now.

    One thing this book left me wondering: Is there any book like this there about little boys?
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    In this easy and relatable read Orenstein delves into America's recent blue versus pink epidemic. While she initially follows the impact pink has in the lives of the youngest of girls there are important conclusions about the later impact pink has on the women those girls become. Perfectionism, empowerment, stereotypes, and rebellion are focal points that follow women throughout life. This book tracks the origins of these topics and demonstrates where they have deviated from the harmless roots they once stood on. An excellent book for those working to break females of all ages free from the social constructs of squeaky clean sparkle.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book on the "pink" wars and the trend toward princess culture in childhood, as well as gender based expectations is not a sermon or a lecture; it is a conversation. The author has an easy style, interlaced with a lot of humor, and the personal anecdotes, while not presented as evidence, help add a personal touch. In fact, it is usually the events with her own daughter (the anecdotes) that act as the stimulus to research more completely. The author does not dismiss the reality of gender differences, but she tries to demonstrate the affect that emphasizing the differences creates in young women, and the pervasiveness of messages that girls are supposed to be "hot" or "sexy". The most horrifying chapter was probably the one on beauty pageants for little girls, though the author goes out of her way not to condemn the parents (perhaps bending over a bit too far at times). A must-read for anyone who interacts with females of any age.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I found this book really depressing, which is not to say it is not good nor that it is not worth reading. It's just hard to be reminded that so much effort put into social change by so many people for so many years can be undone in a flash by clever marketers.This book is a bit of an upper-middle-class feminist book, as the time and effort to worry about these issues is a consequence of privilege. Unfortunately that makes it even more depressing - if a sincere, honest , upper-middle-class mom can't manage to derail the marketing forces that treat girls as objects and encourage them to think of themselves as having value only in how men perceive them, how is someone who has to work two jobs to keep the kids fed going to manage?The author has some suggestions, but truthfully, unrestrained capitalism and massive marketing to children of stereotyped gender roles simply to make more money are factors that are really difficult to combat on an individual level. If there is one lesson I came away with from this book, it is that we have farther to go than I had hoped and that we cannot step back from the struggle to ensure women are perceived as human beings just as men are.Worth reading.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This is an important book. It makes feminism (a term which the author, cleverly, uses as little as possible) accessible to mainstream moms and attempts to instill the importance that feminism still has, even to our children today.

    You don't have to agree with all of her assertions, at time she gets pretty preachy. But I think that regardless, this is an accessible book for all parents of female children and the ultimate moral of the story is the great evil is not pink, princesses, or high-heel shoes, the underlying evil is rampant, voracious mainstream consumerism turning our daughter's innocence and sexuality into a commodity.

    Worth the read.

    Note: Last 30% of the book is bibliography, so it's an even quicker read than it looks.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I'm sorry, Peggy, but this book is too drenched in your own fears, worries, and prejudices (Did you have to link Britney Spears's possible diagnosis as bipolar to her media statements about her sexuality? Do you have ANY compassion for the mentally ill? Thought not.)

    I have to close with my standard advice. Raise your daughter to adulthood, then write a book about the struggle. If you've only made it to elementary school, you're still in the minor leagues.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I regret that I can't really give a coherent review of this book, because I read it in fits and starts over a period of about two years. But I don't remember having many real issues with it, and I do have a general sense of gaining some insight through Orenstein's quest for her own understanding. So I'm going to say it was good and, with some regret about the vagueness, leave it at that.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Anyone with Feminist Studies 101 is not going to find a whole lot of new territory but there are some good statistics to be found here. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of solutions to be found. A good starter book but not the definitive text.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a readable and fascinating book about girlie-girl culture and one woman's attempts to keep her daughter from falling headfirst into the stereotype abyss. Topics range from Disney Princess to American Girl to Twilight to Miley Cyress and more. Peggy Orenstein has written and talked about adolescent girl culture for many years, but this book is a foray into pop culture for the preschool through tween girl set, inspired by her experiences with her own daughter. She writes with a conversational, humorous tone that I found very appealing.I'd recommend this to anyone raising a daughter or anyone who works with kids (especially if you sigh a little inside every time a girl asks you for "princess books!").
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The potential responsibility of having children and the complications that go along with it are especially concerning to me when I considering what happens if I were to have a girl. Being a girl today is exceedingly complicated the world is coming at you from every direction with advertisements and expectations about what kind of interests you should have even what color you should like. For a parent I imagine that to be one more nightmare on top of all the other worries.

    Orenstein manages to approach the topic in a conversational manner including research and articles that make me want to disengage or stop reading. The science and the facts flow into the narrative of Orenstein's experience raising her own daughter. The question I had in reading the book was whether or not there was a way to raise a well adjusted daughter who had self-respect and a healthy self-identity that allowed her to function in a role other than damsel in distress. I believe this book answers that question, but additionally raising more questions. It is additionally disparaging to consider the issue of raising a boy and wanting them to be equal parts masculine and gentle/caring. Perhaps that will be the sequel.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    As a mother of a 9 year old girl, I admit that I have always been more than a little uncomfortable with the whole Disney Princess phenomenon, which exploded onto the pink-tinged scene just in time to coincide with my Betty's entrance into the Disney marketplace world.

    We may have never taken our kids to the Magic Kingdom (no character breakfasts with princesses and mermaids for us, thanks) but we certainly haven't escaped all things Disney in this house. Betty has been Jasmine twice for Halloween, as well as Ariel and Dora and Hannah. We have the Disney Princess Wii game. She's read (and owned) every single Disney book. Even though she's outgrown her, Betty still brushes her hair at her Dora the Explorer vanity table.

    And who can forget the year (2008) that we refer to as the "Hannah Christmas" because almost every item that Santa or the grandparents brought bared the likeness of one Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana (so much so that The Husband claimed we all should have just handed over our ATM cards to Billy Ray himself.)



    So, yeah. Disney has succeeded bigtime in capturing our daughter's interest and a good part of our disposable income.

    And, as Peggy Orenstein writes in Cinderella Ate My Daughter, a lot of other people's too.

    "The first Princess items, released with no marketing plan, no focus groups, no advertising, sold as if blessed by a fairy godmother. Within a year, sales had soared to $300 million. By 2009, they were at $4 billion. Four billion dollars! There are more than twenty-six thousand Disney Princess items on the market, a number which, particularly when you exclude cigarette, liquor, cars, and antidepressants, is staggering." (pg. 14) "Of course, girls are not buying the 24/7 princess culture all on their own. So the question is not only why they like it (which is fairly obvious) but what it offers their parents." (pg. 22)

    Yes, what indeed?

    That's just one of the psychological factors that Orenstein explores in this book that is a must-read for any parent or relative or teacher of young girls. I found this absolutely fascinating ... and it makes so much sense when put like this:

    "[P]rincesses are, by definition, special, elevated creatures. And don't we all feel our girls are extraordinary, unique, and beautiful? Don't we want them to share that belief for as long as possible, to think that - just by their existence, by birthright - they are the chosen ones? Wouldn't we like their lives to be forever charmed, infused with magic and sparkle? I know I want that for my daughter.

    Or do I? Among other things, princesses tend to be rather isolated in their singularity. Navigating the new world of friendships is what preschool is all about, yet the DPs, you will recall, won't even look at one another ....Princesses may confide in a sympathetic mouse or teacup, but, at least among the best-known stories, they do not have girlfriends. God forbid Snow White should give Sleeping Beauty a little support." (pg. 22-23)

    That's the truth. They don't ever look at each other, and that (as Orenstein says) is downright freaky and creepy. You can see how this sets the stage for how mean little girls can be to one another. (Orenstein gets into that into a later chapter.)

    "Let's review: princesses avoid female bonding. Their goals are to be saved by a prince, get married ... and be taken care of for the rest of their lives. Their values drive largely from their appearance. They are rabid materialists. They might affect your daughter's interest in math. And yet ... parents cannot resist them. Princesses seem to have tapped into our unspoken, unrational wishes. They may also assuage our fears: Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty may be sources of comfort, of stability in a rapidly changing world. Our daughters will shortly be tweeting and Facebooking and doing things that have yet to be invented, things that are beyond our ken. Princesses are uncomplicated, classic, something solid that we can understand and share with them, even if they are a bit problematic. They provide a way to play with our girls that is similar to how we played, a common language of childhood fun. That certainly fits into what Disney found in a survey of preschool girls' mothers: rather than 'beautiful,' the women more strongly associate princesses with 'creating fantasy,' 'inspiring,' 'compassionate.'

    And 'safe.' ... By safe, I would wager that they mean that being a Princess fends off premature sexualization, or what parents often refer to as the pressure 'to grow up too soon.' .... Children's wide-eyed excitement over the products we buy them pierces through our own boredom as consumers and as adults, reconnecting us to our childhoods: it makes us feel again. The problem is that our very dependence on our children's joy erodes over time, they become jaded as we are by new purchases - perhaps more so." (pg. 23-24)

    (Jiminy Crickets, I could quote this whole damn book. It's that good.)

    To be sure, Orenstein packs a lot into these 192 pages. She not only takes on the Princesses, but the American Girls too. You'd think they would be better (I did) because they are educational at least, but they've got their issues too, mainly in the form of all the accoutrements that come along with them (for a price).

    "Therein lies the paradox of American Girl: the books preach against materialism, but you could blow the college fund on the gear." (pg. 30-31). "It is a peculiar inversion: the simplicity of American Girl is expensive, while the finery of Princess comes cheap. In the end, though, the appeal to parents is the same: both lines tacitly promise to keep girls "young" and safe from sexualization. Yet they also introduce them to a consumer culture that will ultimately encourage the opposite - one in which Matter and Disney (the parent companies, respectively, of the two brands) play a major role. Both Princess and American Girl promote shopping as the path to intimacy between mothers and daughters; as an expression, even for five-year-olds, of female identity." (pg. 32)

    It's that identity that is at the heart of what Orenstein is trying to convey (and succeeds in doing) in Cinderella Ate My Daughter. She delves into the world of child beauty pageants, the pages of the original versions of fairy tales, and into the online worlds of inhabited by thousands of kids starting with the games found on Nick.com and Disney and moving into the virtual and social networking worlds where 3.7 million teens are logging on each month. "In short order - a matter of a few years - social networking and virtual worlds have transformed how young people, male as well as female, conceptualize both their selves and their relationships." (pg. 165)

    It's hard to walk away from Cinderella Ate My Daughter feeling ... well, empowered. Enlightened, yes, but there aren't many answers as to what to do about the proliferation of the Princesses and how they are just the beginning of this slippery slope that we're on. The answer isn't to ban all this altogether (particularly the online stuff, because there are obviously many benefits to this Internet thing - and as someone who logs way more online hours than I probably should, I'd be a little hypocritical if I said there wasn't.) And this stuff isn't going away - not a chance, not when it is making upwards of $4 billion dollars a year.

    Instead, it's what we all know - having an awareness of the messages and psychology behind all of this and how it can and does affect our girls. And sometimes, from the most unexpected sources, there are good messages to be found. Like take today, for example. I finished Cinderella Ate My Daughter last night and was in the car with both kids heading home from the library today when The Cheetah Girls came on Radio Disney. The song? "Cinderella."

    I groaned ... but kept it on, willing myself to listen to the words.

    And I was rather pleasantly surprised.

    "I don't wanna be like Cinderella
    Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar
    Waiting for somebody to come and set me free.
    Come and set me free.
    I don't wanna be like someone waiting for a handsome prince to come and save me."

    I cranked up the radio to make sure the message was heard loud and clear.

    "Don't wanna depend on no one else.
    I'd rather rescue myself.
    Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind.
    Who's not afraid to show that he loves me.
    Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am.
    Don't need nobody taking care of me.
    I will be there, I will be there for him just as strong as he will be there for me.
    When I give myself then it has got to be an equal thing.
    I don't wanna be like Cinderella, sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar ...."

    Yes, indeed. Sing it, my Cheetah girlfriend. As loud as you possibly can.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I loved the first half of the book, but the second half felt tacked on, and her solutions in the last chapter felt lightweight compared to the anger in the first few chapters.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This is the best-selling book (derived from an article in the New York Times Magazine about the dark side of consumer marketing to girls. While this book was only published in 2011, much of it seems old hat. Maybe that's because we can congratulate the author for exposing the predatory power of pink marketing, or the plethora of books and articles that have appeared on this subject in the past year. Whatever it is, the book just seemed like old news to me and, while I do think the subject is important, not that interesting. I'm glad this is one that I checked out of the library & not something I invested $15.00 on.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    Pink, princesses, disney, pageants, tiaras, and on and on. All of these things and more come into play at a very young age for girls growing up in today’s society. Often the introduction of these items seems to come organically without any outside intervention and other times it’s entirely based on the media & friends our children interact with on a daily basis. As a parent of a newly “crowned” princess of her own, Peggy Orenstein navigates the murky waters that nearly every parent of a daughter will encounter at one time or another in their child’s life. Before I get into the meat of my review I need to say up front that this book was not at all what I was expecting. In many ways I was completely disappointed at the lack of helpful tools and overwhelmed by the sometimes contradictory information & statistics. Being the parent of a young daughter who has recently acquired a love of all the things author Peggy Orenstein finds wrong in the world currently (ie. pink everything & most of all Disney Princesses) I was on the lookout for helpful ways in which to counter balance this influence. Something to encourage her to become a young woman that is tolerant and accepting of others as well as comfortable with her own self-image. What I ended up with was more frustration than answers. Both my husband and I are the first born in families where there was only one gender of children. His was a family of four boys and mine a family of three girls. Because of my situation I became quite a bit of a tomboy and helped my Dad with whatever he was doing around the house or outside. I learned to work on cars and fix stereo equipment, but was also a classically trained flutist. Even with the influence of two younger, very girly, sisters and a mom who was always dressed beautifully I never fully became a “girly girl”. Despite or perhaps because of my lack of “girliness” I still suffered from bouts of anorexia and depression as a teen, but even these experiences shaped me into a strong confident woman. Why? Primarily because of my parents and their never ending open line of communication while growing up. This leads me to my own daughter & son (who funnily enough chose pink as his favorite color until just recently) and how I can encourage & support them even when our tastes are varied, which was the primary reasoning behind picking up Cinderella Ate My Daughter. It’s obvious to anyone who reads even a few chapters of Cinderella Ate My Daughter that Orenstein has done her homework. From spending her days monitoring the interactions between pre-schoolers to visiting the mecca of the doll world, the American Girl Place, to thoroughly researching both sides of pageants and even interviewing the man behind the marketing genius that is the Disney Princesses. For me personally I found most of this information to not only be too much but also something I was already aware of. What I didn’t appreciate was the near constant contradictions I found. Yes, it bothers me to know that the Disney Princesses were intentionally placed on marketing & packaging materials in such a way that they never “look” at each other. But what also bothered me more was that the author, who was bothered by that situation was also bothered while observing pre-schoolers who naturally separated into gender specific groups without any encouragement from adults. So it was wrong that the Disney Princesses were never allowed to seek the camaraderie & support of the other princesses, but it was also wrong that girls played and enjoyed the company of other girls? It was situations like this that left me confused and baffled at what exactly it was that the author was trying to accomplish. Instead of feeling as though I was learning from the shared experience of a fellow mother seeking solutions to help her children be the best people they can be I felt like she was more interested in carrying out her personal vendetta against all things pink, princess and girly. In what I hoped would be a book filled with ways to counter balance the role today’s media & marketing plays into the ways our daughters grow up I found near constant negativity without many solutions. Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein is perfect for readers not familiar with today’s popular girl-driven marketing trends because it’s filled with statistics and observations of not only the author herself but many professionals. Unfortunately for me it was of little help. Yes, I hope to encourage both of my children to be strong independent thinkers that are not only tolerant but accepting of others. What I also hope to teach them is that no matter what they choose I support them in whatever their passions may be by not privately (or publicly as in this case) disparaging their decisions. There is no definitive statistic that can prove a young girl or boy who grow up loving pink and only pink will be completely depressed and disillusioned as an adult, but unfortunately that’s the opinion I gathered from the author. Oddly enough my favorite quote and perhaps my personal hope is one found on the last page: “…our role is not to keep the world at bay but to prepare our daughters so they can thrive within it.” (p. 192 Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein)Originally reviewed and copyrighted at my site There's A Book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I thought it was bad when my three daughters were young but it's even worse today. It's not so much the princesses and pink but the clothing. It's almost impossible to buy decent clothes for girls by the time they grow out of diapers. For most girls, however, most simply love dolls and princesses, no matter how much the parents try to steer them away. Other girls, three of my granddaughters, for example, just naturally shun everything to do with Disney and dolls. My own daughters, in fact, never played with dolls and hated ballet; I wondered if they were really mine. For all of Orenstein's protestations, girls will not necessarily march to the rhythm of their mothers, no matter how loudly they play the music. Orenstein is an excellent writer, by the way, and I hope to hear more from her.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I've been waiting to read "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" for a while now it was not exactly what I had expected. Some of the one-liners and personal stories were funny but the lack of scientific research and gender study research made the book seem more suited for a magazine article or. I understand that “CAMD” is not a research book and covering the topic in a lighter manner makes it available to a wider audience. Just a little side note – If anyone is interested in this topic you need to check out the photography work by Lauren Greenfield especially her book “Girl Culture” and “Fast Forward.”The whole give me this now and I can’t go outside without looking completely perfect attitude is really disturbing. I can’t run to the grocery store or Walgreen’s without seeing people dressed to the nines, while I am in jeans and no makeup, not sure if it’s a southern belle things or like that all over but I hate it. The way you dress does not make you a better person than me, especially when your five year old is wearing Juicy Couture and carrying a Coach bag. I think it’s nonsense and the whole princess culture does not help it at all.“CAMD” showed how much the media and consumerism is geared specifically to a certain age and gender bringing out that give me that now attitude, especially if I am girl it has to be pink and sparkly. It also shows how the media wants our kids to grow up so fast that they can choose their own toys, clothes, etc…. I mean what could be better than a six year old wearing so much makeup that she outshines Tammy Fay Baker and dresses in less clothes than Tia Tequila? When I have kids I want them to be raised with a solid background and have enough imagination that they can play with anything like a simple rock and make it anything they want it to be. I don’t want my kids to be totally obsessed with princesses and Pokemon but I want to give them the chance to figure it out on their own and with guidance from me. I know that I kinda of went on rage/tangent about this whole thing but I have really strong feelings on the whole subject. Sorry it wasn’t more of a review on the book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    From my blogI thought this was an interesting read. I have a 4 year old daughter that is all about pink. At night after I read a story to her I pull out my Kindle and read with the kindle light, well the ironic funniest comment she made while reading this book was. "Mommy when I get older I am going to get a Kindle too but mine is going to be pink with a pink light." It took everything in me to not laugh. I think PeggyO may have been appalled, lol.This book was much more than the pink phase girls go through. It was the pink vs blue, the girl toys vs boy toys, female celebrities, girly girl vs tomboy, the Princesses of course and the dolls, American Girl, Barbie, Bratz, Spice Girls etc., sexy in young girls, toddler pageants and Facebook, the overall social media which was my favourite chapter. Social media scares me for sure and I agree young children are techie so they are on it at young ages. I can let my 4 year old be on the computer alone, nickjr.com owns her and 'gives me quiet time' ;-) The thought of texting, online associates that she will call friends, all the life that I will no nothing about scares me. As Parents we make decisions every day that will affect our children, that is our responsibility as a parent. Even though the Princess movies and others are for children, we should still be watching them to see if we agree with the morals, every one's values are different. I believe we have to respond to questions, there is the style - "no they don't watch or do it home so they don't know" but as Peggy found out, that is the biggest myth or thought. I remember once, my daughter was pretending and said 'is my butt big' if I hadn't watched Chipmunks with her I would have gasped and thought what the hell. Oh ya, Chipmunks are funny but they can be rude but they are also irresistible. Peggy discussed the uproar over Beyonce's song, Single Ladies, put a ring on it, lol, but guess what, it is right out of the Chipmunks movie, hahahahaha.Did you know pink and blue is a 'new' concept? A favourite quote When nursery colors were introduced, pink was actually considered the more masculine hue, a pastel version of red, which was associate with strength. Blue, with its intimations of the Virgin Mary, constancy, and faithfulness, symbolized femininity. Peggy makes the conclusion that maybe that is why Cinderella is in Blue.A few quotes I loved, made me think and want to share:I thought, maybe I should see princess mania as a sign of progress, an indication that girls could celebrate their predilection for pink without compromising strength or ambition; that at long last they could "have it all": be feminist and feminine, pretty and powerful; earn independence and male approval. Then again, maybe I should just lighten up and not read so much into it - to mangel Freud, maybe sometimes a princess is just a princess. It tells girls that how you look is more important than how you feel. More than that, it tells them that how you look is how you feel, as well as who you are. Overall, this was an enjoyable read. I would recommend to moms and women that consider themselves girly girls. I am a girly girl and my daughter is fully into the pink phase, wants to wear a skirt but I have to put leggings or shorts under because she will be climbing, jumping in the sand right with the boys. The main thing missing for me was Peggy giving examples specific to her daughter, I did wish it could have been more memoir than just non fiction. This would have made it more real in a sense. I think everyone that reads this will choose a different favourite chapter, they were pretty good.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Somewhat scary look into what it is like raising very young girls nowadays, given the constant barrage by media and the 24/7 access to technology. A sobering look into the impacts of these things as well as the things we as parents do and project onto our kids. Thought provoking and very readable.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was an absolutely fascinating read. Orenstein looks at how predatory marketing influences ideas of gender in North American middle class girls. Just some of the topics she examines are the Disney Princess line ($4 Billion in product sold between 2000 & 2009), Barbie, Hannah Montana, and Twilight. The book is heavy on insightful observations and light on firm recommendations, but I thought she concluded well when she says all these various products are"...a cog in the round-the-clock, all pervasive media machine aimed at our daughters--and at us--from womb to tomb; one that, again and again, presents femininity as performance,sexuality as performance, identity as performance, and each of those traits as available for a price. It tells girls that how you look is more important than how you feel. more than that, it tells them that how you look is how you feel, as well as who you are."My daughters are 11 and 14, so we're beyond the princess stage, which they didn't have much use for anyway (and I'll take some of the credit for that). I think Orenstein could have been firmer in stating that adults can refuse to buy into this pink princess culture and be more active in redirecting their children's focus. But other wise, I really enjoyed exploring the princess industry along with her.Recommended for: anyone who is interested in consumerism and marketing and their influence on culture, and especially their influence on girls. Those looking for a parenting book with lots of tips and pat solutions will probably be disappointed.Why I Read This Now: it just looked too appealing to let sit on the shelf any longer. I admit that I am rather anti-Disney, so I was hoping that she'd really blast them (which she didn't).