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    Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship
    Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship
    Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship
    Audiobook4 hours

    Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship

    Written by Gail Caldwell

    Narrated by Joyce Bean

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    In Let's Take the Long Way Home, Pulitzer Prizendash;winning author Gail Caldwell offers a powerful and moving memoir about her coming-of-age in mid-life and her extraordinary friendship with Caroline Knapp, the author of Drinking: A Love Story.

    In her younger years, Caldwell defined herself by rebellion and independence, a passion for books, and an aversion to intimacy and a distrust of others. Then, while living in Cambridge in her early forties, Caldwell adopted a rambunctious puppy named Clementine. On one of their bucolic walks, she met Caroline and her dog, Lucille, and both women's lives changed forever.

    Though they are more different than alike, these two fiercely private, independent women quickly relax into a friendship more profound than either of them expected, a friendship that will thrive on their shared secrets, including parallel struggles with alcoholism and loneliness. They grow increasingly inseparable until, in 2003, Caroline is diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer.

    In her signature exquisite prose, Caldwell mines the deepest levels of devotion and grief in this wise and affecting account about losing her best friend. Let's Take the Long Way Home is also a celebration of life and all the little moments worth cherishing-and affirms why Gail Caldwell is rightly praised as one of our bravest and most honest literary voices.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTantor Media, Inc
    Release dateAug 10, 2010
    ISBN9781400185603
    Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship

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    Reviews for Let's Take the Long Way Home

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    • 5/5
      I adored Carolyn Knapp's Pack of Two and was truly saddened to learn of her sudden death in 2002. Writers who shared the love of dogs and the water, this is the story of the friendship Gail Caldwell shared with Carolyn Knapp. The second half of the book, in my case, an audiobook, had me not just teary-eyed, but actually crying. A gracefully told story of an enviable friendship and a tragic loss which will strike a chord in anyone who, well really, just anyone.
    • 5/5
      Wonderful memoir of a deep friendship between two women in late 80's - early 90's Boston. Both were authors, recovering alcoholics, and dog lovers (each owning one), though their upbringing was totally opposite. This is the memoir written by one of the women (the other died young of lung cancer) that traces their childhoods through their meeting and becoming BFF's, to the diagnosis of cancer and the death of one and survival of the other.
    • 4/5
      Very honest and touching memoir. Hope she has found joy.
    • 5/5
      I read this because I'd loved Caroline Knapp's work. This is a beautiful book about friendship, family, loss and the bonds between people and their dogs. In a strange way, I felt somehow privileged to read about this friendship, because both Gail Caldwell and Caroline Knapp seem to be (to have been) very private people. That the author chose to share her memories feels almost like a gift, a window into the private lives of people I could respect and appreciate. Which in turn makes me feel fortunate to have the relationships that I do have with the people I truly know, respect, appreciate. And then, finally, I'm being so much nicer to my dogs. They actually were the ones who encouraged me to give this book five stars. Five stars to the book, one bisky each to Gracie and Bondi.
    • 4/5
      Not my usual kind of book, but very well done.
    • 4/5
      A tender memoir about friendship between two woman. Both had weaknesses they tried to conquer with varying success. I imagine this book is a popular book club choice. I listened to the audio version read by Joyce Bean, who did a nice job narrating, complete with a hint of a Texas accent.
    • 3/5
      The writing and word choices were what kept me reading this book. The author's interests are so very different from mone I was not too interested in much of the content, but I was very interested in her descriptions of friendship and loss.
    • 5/5
      I devoured this book in two evenings, hungry for such a literary and moving account of women's friendship. I only wish I would find the tale of that close connection among the living, rather than (as with Ann Patchett's "Truth and Beauty") only after one half of the dyad has passed away. Perhaps we are so busy living the joys and rigors of sisterhood that we don't write them.

      At any rate, I recommend this book highly. Consider this passage, for instance: "The world appears with ferocious technicolor during crisis, and a decade later, I remember the visual arc of my body being airborne...But what I remember most was the territorial assault I felt, the indignation, while I was sailing through space. How dare you, the body and mind felt in furious accord. I'm in the middle of a life here. I was outraged because I had been working on this story line for years, and I knew it was not yet finished."

      "Grief is what tells you who you are alone." This memoir lays bare the face of grief, and in seeing it, we feel less alone.
    • 5/5
      It's an old, old story: I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too."



      So, I never quote parts of books but that one opening sentence convinced me that not only did I have to read this book but that it was going to touch a special cord with me. It made me instantly think of a friend that means the world to me. Gail Caldwell calls this book "a memoir of friendship" and so it is. It's the story of Gail and her friend, Caroline, who became friends because of their shared love for their dogs and who came to mean the world to each other. Caroline gets cancer and dies and it becomes the story of how Gail survives her friend's death.


      I loved this story. It was a beautiful testament to the author's friend and to friendship period. I bawled my eyes out. Not because the story was so sad but because a part of me fears the day that I have to live through the death of one of my friends.
    • 5/5
      "A gorgeous, moving memoir about ... the author's own coming-of-age in midlife, as she learns to open herself to the power and healing of sharing her life with a best friend, Caroline Knapp -- a fellow writer, AA member, dog lover, and acute observer of life."Living in Cambridge in her early 40s, 'an age when the view from the hill can be clear and poignant both,' Caldwell adopts a rambunctious puppy named Clementine. On one of her buccolic walks, she meets Caroline and her dog Lucille, and both women's lives change forever. Though they are more different than alike, these two fiercely private, independent women quickly relax into a profound friendship, one that will thrive on their shared vulnerability, including parallel struggles with alcoholism and loneliness. They grow increasingly inseparable until Caroline is suddenly diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. Gail writes: 'It's the oldest of stories: I had a friend and we shared everything and then she died and we shared that too.' "~~frontispieceThis is a difficult review for me to write. I share many of the traits of these two women, enough so that my eyes leaked as I read it, and when I got to the part about Caroline being diagnosed with Stage IV cancer and Gail's inconsolable grief, I could do nothing but sob as I continued reading.This is an incredible book: the author has beautifully portrayed an uncommon and deeply moving friendship, and then shared -- no holds barred -- her grief and sorrow as her friend died, and also painted in stark, realistic terms Caroline's journey through chemo and radiation, slowly sinking to the inevitable end. It's very well-written, so a joy to read, and the emotions brought into the cold light of day will speak to your soul. If you only read two books this year, this should be one of them.
    • 4/5
      OMG, I liked this much better than I thought that I would.

      This is the story of 2 women who found each other because of their dogs. They had a wonderful and fulfilling friendship. This is a true story and the book starts out telling you that one of the women dies of lung cancer.

      I typically do not care much for the memoir books. They always seem a bit egotistical to me. The books are filled with many "I" and "Me" phrases. While this book is no differentin this respect, it is also a warm and wonderful story.

      I want to feel the same kind of friendship that Gail and Caroline had. I want to feel the same kind of love and respect that they had for one another.

      Gail, you did Caroline proud with this book and I am glad that I read it!
    • 4/5
      A story about death, dogs, and female friendship in New England. It's good to be reminded about the inevitability of death and the chance that it can come earlier and faster than we're ready for. I'm not quite so dog-oriented as the author, but I do know a couple and I can imagine that a pretty good person-canine relationship can develop. More interesting and producing a longer lasting personal response was the story of the relationship between two un-partnered women.
    • 4/5
      Caldwell’s eloquent memoir thoughtfully chronicles her close friendship with fellow writer Caroline Knapp, following her early death from cancer. While the book is dedicated to the relationship they shared and the idiosyncrasies of friendship, Caldwell’s prose is most evocative in its bleak honesty regarding the poignancy of grief. Touching on Knapp’s and her own struggle with alcoholism, her progression as a writer, and their mutual joy in dog ownership, “Let’s Take the Long Way Home” is a sundry appreciation of what friendship alone can offer us and what we miss most when it’s gone.
    • 5/5
      Just the most beautiful, flowing writing. Smooth as silk. Ideas flow into one another with no jarring. And the word usage is some of the best I've read in ages, unobtrusive, succinct yet extremely expressive.Gail has a best friend. They share their love of dogs. They encourage each other to row and swim. They are both writers. They both carry significant psychic scars from earlier in their lives. And then there is loss.Even if you don't read this book, I encourage you to find her writing, it really is good.
    • 2/5
      For those of us who journal, handling important events such as the loss of a friend comes out in our personal writing. I guess if you're an author, personal writing is easily interpreted for public consumption. But I don't think this really was written for a universal audience. It feels more like a diary than a book that should be published. Yes, grief and loss are addressed, memories of love and friendship are put into long-lasting pages, but is it really a story for the rest of us? I wasn't able to connect to it.
    • 5/5
      "It's an old story: I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too." These opening lines from Gail Caldwell's memoir LET'S TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME for some reason brought to mind the opening of Erich Segal's bestselling novel, LOVE STORY: “What can you say about a twenty-five year old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant. That she loved Mozart and Bach. The Beatles. And me.”I know, I know. Caldwell's book is about a real life friendship between two women, and Segal's is a near smarmy sentimental piece of pop fiction, but you don't get to choose what pops into your head when you're reading.Caldwell's book came out in 2010, and I remember reading about it at the time and wanting to read it, but didn't get around to it until now. I was interested in the book because I had read her friend Caroline Knapp's PACK OF TWO, a very moving memoir of how a dog helped her to cope with loneliness and a long recovery from anorexia and alcoholism. And I liked that one enough to read another Knapp book, a posthumous collection of her newspaper columns and essays called THE MERRY RECLUSE.Caldwell is a good writer, but reading about loss and grief is never easy. However, the first half of LONG WAY HOME, with its loving and sometimes humorous descriptions of how the two met and how their friendship deepened, makes it a bit easier. New Englander Knapp and Texas-born Caldwell were both basically loners, devoted to their dogs and their writing, and to a small circle of close friends. Knapp had struggled with anorexia, Caldwell had polio as a child, and both were recovering alcoholics. Caldwell was a swimmer, Knapp a rower. So they had much in common, not to mention their beloved dogs, Lucille and Clementine - an added bonus for readers who are dog lovers. This is a deeply felt story of how women bond. I was struck by this passage, feeling very much the outsider -"'Men don't really understand women's friendships, do they?' I once asked my friend Louise, a writer who lived in Minnesota. 'Oh God, no,' she said. 'And we must never tell them.'"And yet this book is perhaps one of the most heartfelt tellings of such a friendship that I have ever read.It is the second half of the book that is so hard, so painful, the part that describes Knapp's final illness and death from cancer at the age of forty-two. In the last days Caldwell tells of wearing a T-shirt to the hospital with two of the first important commands learned in dog obedience classes printed on the back: SIT! STAY! And, she tells us, in those last days and final hours, "that was what I did. I sat and I stayed."This is not a book you can blithely say, I really enjoyed it. The subject is too sad, too serious. But you can certainly learn something from it. And if you have ever lost someone you loved, human or canine, you will definitely relate. Gail Caldwell has written a beautiful tribute to her dear friend, and to the joys and mysteries of a deep and true friendship. And maybe I wasn't so wrong after all in thinking of the Erich Segal book. Because LET'S TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME is also a love story in the most elemental sense. Caroline would have been so pleased. Highly recommended.
    • 5/5
      A gorgeous memoir. Rarely do you see friendship taken seriously as a subject worthy of literary exploration. This book is also a great example of how you don't need a dramatic experience to make a good story. Caldwell begins by spilling the beans: "It's an old, old story: I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too." We don't turn the pages to find out what happened; we turn the pages to experience fully what happened, and to learn what Caldwell makes of it. This memoir is also a beautiful example of the power of the reflective voice to carry a narrative. "Maybe this is the point: to embrace the core sadness of life without toppling headlong into it, or assuming it will define your days. The real trick is to let life, with all its ordinary missteps and regrets, be consistently more mysterious and alluring than its end."
    • 4/5
      I'm having a hard time framing a coherent review of this book. It's the story of a friendship that was intense and huge and that ended in death. I read, long ago, a memoir written by Knapp, who is the friend eulogized and remembered and celebrated herein. I recall liking that book a lot.

      This one, though, was really hard. See, I had a friend with whom I was very close for a very long time, and then I moved across the country and though we always *said* we were going to live together when we were old, sometimes whole weeks would pass where we didn't talk. Then she got sick and in what seemed like a blinding rush, died. I was 3000 miles away and I should have been right there with her. So, yeah, reading this, which includes Caldwell being at Knapp's bedside during her sickness and death, was difficult.

      The book is exceedingly well-written, grueling, evocative and ultimately kind of wise. Recommended.
    • 3/5
      A story of love and friendship and what it means after having to watch a best friend die.
    • 3/5
      I'm glad I read this book, and a lot of it was lovely, but in my personal opinion Caldwell took on this subject too soon. What's most compelling in these pages is what is unsaid. The space around the details about Caldwell and Knapp's friendship, of which there is an abundance, is what allows the reader to imagine herself and her own relationships fitting in and around this narrative. It's what gives the book its power, this invitation to substitute in one's own life.

      But I was constantly struck with the feeling that Caldwell was holding back. She didn't want to expose or exploit her friend; she didn't want to give away too many of the memories that are so precious to her. I respect that, but I felt kept at arm's length from what was supposed to be the heart of the memoir. In contrast, Caldwell writes much more boldly and openly about her battle with alcoholism, perhaps because it was hers alone, perhaps because its pain is not as fresh. Even her relationship with Clemmentine felt more fully explored.

      I don't mean to criticize Caldwell; I can't imagine trying to process the death of my best friend in a way that would satisfy thousands of perfect strangers. And I'm very glad that Caldwell offers up a vision of female friendship so much more interesting and nuanced than the hair-braiding, ice-cream eating, man-hating cliches we're so often shown. I just wanted more.
    • 4/5
      Beautifully written memoir.
    • 5/5
      In Caroline Knapp Gail Caldwell found a friend we all would wish to have. In their dogs Clementine and Lucille they found the same love and companionship. This is a book about friendship, love, death, grief, alcoholism, exercising the heart and the body, and helping each other find our way in the world. We know from the first page that Carolyn and Gail will be separated by death. Gail has to find over the years since that death exactly what it means to survive. She says, Caroline's death had left me with a great and terrible gift: How to live in a world where loss, some of it unbearable, is as common as dust or moonlight. The friendship here is unique that between people and between people and dogs; the effort they put into living their lives is unique; but, as Gail says, loss is common. She describes life, love, struggle and loss in a way that helps us all a little along our own paths.
    • 4/5
      This book has been on my radar screen for a while, and I've read some good reviews of it, but I was concerned that it would be too sad for me. A friend of mine died earlier this year. She was only 38 years old, and it was devastating. Even now, that's about as articulate as I can be about the experience. Caldwell's friend Caroline died too. She died before her time, after a short battle with cancer. This book is about that experience, but it is about much more than that. As the subtitle notes, it is a memoir of friendship, from the beginning tentative steps to the connections that transcend death. Parts are intensely sad - I wept huge tears on my drive home from work as I listened to the chapter about Caroline's death. But there is a hopeful undercurrent throughout the book. Caldwell uses words beautifully, capturing emotions in a way that is so precise that it is a gift to those who struggle to put our grief into words.
    • 5/5
      This book is perfect. I finished reading it two days ago and spent a couple of hours crying through the last third of this book. Author, Gail Caldwell touches deep inside your heart. She had a long lasting friendship with Carolyn Knapp. They were so different yet so the same. They had both struggled with alcoholism, had a passion for dogs and loved to be alone. Both were very fiercely independent and were extremely loyal to each other, at times, even had knowing what the other was thinking before it was said. Their friendship is one that only happens once in a lifetime and not to everyone. With such a deep friendship, going through the grief of the other is almost unlivable. When her friend Gail died, it was the first time that the author experienced grief. It reminded me of when my brother died. Even though their deaths were very different, many of hers and my experiences were the same. Pain that you are not prepared for, pain that shakes you to your inner most self. Not only was this book about friendship and grief but it was also about loving dogs. Gail Caldwell's Samoyed, Clementine or Clemmy was real in 'Let's Take The Long Way Home' that I wanted to bury my face in her wonderful white coat of fur. This is a precious book written out of love and pain. I hope that everyone reads it. It makes you love people more and even love dogs more.
    • 4/5
      This brilliant tribute to friendship is definitely worth reading, and like the friendship it describes, cherishing.Gail and Caroline met as they were walking their dogs. Both writers, both women who valued their solitude, they met everyday to walk the dogs, and as the friendship grew, to teach each other the finer points of their chosen sports: swimming and rowing.Caldwell frames this relationship with a look back at her personal struggles with alcoholism, and shows us how she was able to remain sober with the help of Caroline, who had overcome her own problem with anorexia, but who was struggling to stop smoking.The premature end to their friendship when Caroline died of lung cancer at the age of 41 did not end the memoir. Caldwell gives us a quiet, calm, and somber reflection on how she was able to continue life while missing her best friend. The last part of the story is as much a story of her relationship with her dog who helped her through the grieving period.Although many have claimed this is a tear-jerker, I found the story heart-warming, inspiring and a beautiful tribute to the true meaning of friendship.
    • 4/5
      You'll need a box of Kleenex the size of Detroit to get through this this one. I'm finding that these memoirs that just tear your heart out and leave it in shreds on the floor are not all that enjoyable. But this one had a lot going for it. Two women, best friends, both recovering alcoholics, would walk their dogs together in the Cambridge outskirts and each convinced the other to take up their sport. So Gail took up Caroline's rowing and Caroline took up Gail's swimming laps. They had the kind of relationship where they would take the long way home so they could talk some more and then, when they got home they would call each other on the phone and talk even more. Real bosom buddies who truly enjoyed each others company. Until Caroline gets sick.What makes this memoir different from some of the others I've read is the graceful way that Caldwell tells her story and the lilting, gorgeous prose that fills the narrative."It's taken years for me to understand that dying doesn't end the story; it transforms it. Edits, rewrites, the blur and epiphany of one-way dialogue. Most of us wander in and out of one another's lives until not death, but distance, does us part---time and space and the heart's weariness are the blander executioners of human connection." (Page 123)We accompany her to AA meetings, to her therapy sessions, and through the horrific time as she sees her friend through her illness. She deals with the accompanying grief and loneliness with grace and honesty but it is so very hard."I know now that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures. Sometimes I think that the pain is what yields the solution. Grief and memory create their own narrative. This is the shining truth at the heart of Freud and Neruda and every war story ever told. The death mandates and gives rise to the story for the same reason that ancient tribes used to bury flowers with their dead. We tell the story to get them back, to capture the traces of footfalls through the snow. " (Page 182)So, not for the faint-hearted. This is gritty, tough stuff. But beautifully written. I'm not even going to talk about the dog.
    • 4/5
      I found Caldwell's candid yet touching account of her friendship with Caroline and subsequent loss very introspective and touching. The bond of their friendship--their dogs and her subsequent coming to terms with grieving Caroline's death through her devotion to her Samoyed Clementine is such an eloquent juxtaposition. I absolutely was drawn in to her description of the relationship that forms between owner and dog through time. This is a wonderful read, heart-wrenching but wonderful!
    • 5/5
      This book combines all of my favorite elements: dogs, friendship, memoirs and wonderful writing. The story that Gail Caldwell brings to life is how a dog connected her to Caroline Knapp, her best friend and confident and she survived her own life and that of losing her best friend to cancer. People rarely have a chance at such a deep friendship and when it does occur it is a miracle. This should have been a sad tale of loss, but Caldwell finds some really happy things to reminisce and relate. It will speak to anyone who has ever lost a loved one and had a dog right there to comfort them. I recently lost my mother to cancer and it happened much the same way that Caldwell had to deal with Knapp's death. I really wish I had this book when I was going through my own grief a few years ago. She so eloquently puts in words what I could not formulate in my own. Caldwell relates that even though she and Knapp had very different childhoods, they both made the same decisions that led them to become recovering alcoholics and fast friends. There is some sadness and loss in the story as the author relates her own recovery but overall, the story is a wonderful gift to readers. I would love to read more about her adventures with her dogs.
    • 4/5
      I do steer away from sad books, including the sad memoir, but this one was sweetly written with beautiful prose. Lovely thoughts that I am glad was shared and I did not miss.
    • 4/5
      Gail Caldwell met fellow author Caroline Knapp through their mutual dog trainer and the two of them soon discovered that they were, in Anne of Green Gables parlance, kindred spirits. Their relationship wasn't just friendship, it defined the concept of best friend, that rare and precious ideal. This gorgeous and loving memoir is a tribute to that friendship and the terrible loss of it when Knapp, still so young, died of cancer. Both Caldwell and Knapp were, as many writers are, solitary souls but each became for the other, a bright and safe light in the world of connection. They shared their hopes and dreams through the prism of everything they had in common--not just the writing but also their battles against alcoholism, their love of dogs, and their focus in life. Knapp taught Caldwell to scull and the two of them spent hours on the Charles River rowing together and going their own way. And this is perhaps an apt metaphor for their relationship. Each woman taught the other, they worked together, and they freely gave each other the space to go it alone, celebrating each others' individuality even as they pursued similar goals. There are brief dips into both Caldwell and Knapp's pasts and the memoir isn't strictly chronological. It is more a free flowing meditation that captures something deeply precious and sadly ephemeral unconstrained by the mundane sense of time as a line. It is a record of Caldwell's heart laid bare for the reader, her gift to everyone who has missed out on knowing the amazing person who was her friend. It is grief-filled and poignantly accurate about the sucker punch that is loss. But ultimately it is a magnificent and beautifully written memoir that captures and records the friendship that is too special to let fade away with Knapp's death.