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    We Thought You Would be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive
    We Thought You Would be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive
    We Thought You Would be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive
    Audiobook7 hours

    We Thought You Would be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive

    Written by Laurie Notaro

    Narrated by Hillary Huber

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    She thought she'd have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years yet. But no-it's happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe "I'm going to kick his hair's ass" to the hapless Sears customer service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie's wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her-inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam, eBay ("There should be an eBay wading pool, where you only get to bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, and you have to make it through that first before jumping into the deep end"), and the perils of St. Patrick's Day ("When I'm driving, the last think I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens") are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it's all 100 percent true.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTantor Media, Inc
    Release dateJun 22, 2011
    ISBN9781452672687
    We Thought You Would be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive
    Author

    Laurie Notaro

    Laurie Notaro is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the humor memoirs The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club, Autobiography of a Fat Bride, I Love Everybody, The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, a finalist for the Thurber Prize, and Housebroken, among others. She is also the author of three works of fiction, including the historical novel Crossing the Horizon. Born in Brooklyn, New York, she then spent the remainder of her formative years in Phoenix, Arizona, where she created something of a checkered past. Laurie now resides in Eugene, Oregon, has a cute dog and a nice husband, and misses Mexican food like it was her youth.

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    Reviews for We Thought You Would be Prettier

    4/5

    318 ratings14 reviews

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    • 2/5
      The book is occasionally funny. However, the reader all too often gets the "seen that, read that, heard that already" feeling. It's the unoriginal memoir of a pessimistic "sophisticated" urbanite basically stuck in a Seinfeld episode gone bad. Other writers have done this routine and done it better.
    • 4/5
      Another fun book by Laurie Notrao. In this one she talks about going off on the customer service guy at the cable company. Looking for fabulous boots with one of her girlfriends in San Francisco even though she has "athletic" calves. Her hypochondriac tendencies after looking at WebMD. Going to a discount store that sells seconds and other not for regular retail. Teaching her sister the ins and outs of E-Bay. Her crazy cat lady neighbor. Finally ending with her painting class which after painting seed pods, antlers and the parking lot they graduate to a live model, a past her prime nude female.
    • 4/5
      This is a book of "essays" where there author is recounting some of the humourous moments in her life, starting with her panic when she lost her passport/money/id/everything in New York City on the first stop of her book tour to the painting class where she had to paint someone in the nude. And all kinds of stuff in between - shopping with her best friend, all kinds of family stuff, and more. This is the first book I've read by Notaro and I will be reading more! She is funny! I was often laughing out loud, luckily mostly at home, rather than on public transit. It was a fast, fun read.
    • 4/5
      Laurie Notaro is incredibly funny. Her book We Thought You Would Be Prettier was such fun to read. It was like a breath of fresh air after some of the longer and more serious titles that I've read. It is set up as short essays on topics and as such I could read a couple when I felt like a chuckle or two. Definitely a book that most women will enjoy and relate to. My favorite was her tale about shopping in a bargain/closeout store. The title of that story was That's Not Pudding, and it was a description of a stain seen on a discounted comforter when the clerk removed it from the package to try to find the price. I laughed so hard that I had tears running down my face.
    • 5/5
      I love Laurie Notaro and all her imperfections. She makes me feel that girls like us (chubby, smartmouth, sassy, no filter) are the norm. She is offensive (often unintentionally), untidy, and hilarious.
    • 4/5
      As usual Laurie Notaro’s look at life is hilarious her books are just so much fun. The story of the flippy hair guy or otherwise known as the day you realize you are no longer cool and have your mother’s voice living in your head! I loved this chapter!! There was some funny stories about her book tour where only one person showed up and what happened before she went up on stage (in the bathroom) or losing your wallet or locking yourself out are all something that would happen to me or the shopping trip with your skinny friend where you can’t find anything in your size. I think that is why I enjoy her books because I am a bit sarcastic and kind of look at life in a similar skewed view that she does!I listened to this one on audio and Hilary Huber does a great job on the narration of these humorous books.4 stars
    • 3/5
      All her books are hilarious. Her stories make laugh out loud. Can't wait to get my hands on another one of her books.
    • 4/5
      Notaro lived and had a weekly column in the local paper here in Phoenix before moving up to writing books. Good for her, because her writing was often the best to be found in the newspaper, but her work was buried in supplement pages. She's very funny and often moves into the outlandish in her essays. In this book she recounts events that might have occurred on his first book tour across America, taking an art class that employed a past-prime nude model and the problems with living across the street from the neighborhood Cat Lady.
    • 2/5
      I wanted to like this book...I really did. It was loaned to me by a friend who said "When I read this, I thought of you!" Now, I am assuming that she meant that because Ms. Notaro is sarcastic, self-deprecating and more than a little bitter...and not because she spends the vast majority of the book talking about how she needs to lose A LOT of weight. Regardless of the resemblance, I just did not enjoy it. At first I found it amusing (especially all of the Phoenix references as I am a Phoenician myself) but then as each story unfolded I saw little variety in her writing. The book did not keep me entertained (full disclosure: I left the last couple of chapters unread) and I found myself annoyed by her bitter view of life. I want to shake her and say “Get over it! If you don’t like your life, change it!”
    • 5/5
      In this collection of humorous (and often downright hysterical) autobiographical essays, Notaro recounts episodes from her life with blunt honesty and hilarious commentary. It's hard to pick a favorite, but I did get a real kick out of her correlation between her diets and the reappearance of popcorn chicken at KFC. I laughed out loud many many times at this book, and now I'm going to be poor because I need to go out and find the rest of her books. If you like David Sedaris, you'll probably like Laurie Notaro. Very funny.
    • 4/5
      I want Laurie Notaro to be my friend. I love her books -- they're honest and hilarious. And unlike some other essayists out there (yes, A. Burroughs, I'm talking about you), I never feel like I want to commit suicide after reading one of her books. I feel better about myself...partly because she's so hilarious about her recollections, partly because she survives everything (maybe not with a lot of grace, but she survives) and how can you not feel better when you've been through THE EXACT SAME THING?I would recommend this book to anyone who needs a pickmeup...going through a breakup, hating your job, in the hospital, etc. It's impossible to not laugh at her. With her. At her.
    • 5/5
      Laugh out loud funny. I read passages out loud to my husband and I couldn't get through it for laughing so hard. Some of the stories were just okay, but they can't all be "shoot coke out your nose" hilarious. I had such a great time with this book that I need to find more by Notaro. I've passed this on to several people - I only do that with books I really love.
    • 4/5
      Notaro manages to make the most mundane life events, like getting locked out of the house or getting stopped for a traffic violation, into something extraordinarily hilarious.
    • 5/5
      Another fabulous collection of essays from Laurie Notaro, the role model of selfish, sarcastic women everywhere.