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    Too Fat to Fish
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    Too Fat to Fish
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    Too Fat to Fish
    Audiobook7 hours

    Too Fat to Fish

    Published by Penguin Random House Audio

    Narrated by The Reverend Bob Levy, Gary Dell'Abate and Jim Florentine

    3.5/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show's move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting.

    A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for-sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction: He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was eighteen and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.

    True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn't have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie's never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.

    Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, TOO FAT TO FISH is Artie Lange giving everything he's got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPenguin Random House Audio
    Release dateNov 11, 2008
    ISBN9780739381977
    Unavailable
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    Reviews for Too Fat to Fish

    3.5/5

    137 ratings18 reviews

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    • 4/5
      This is cool
    • 5/5
      After hearing this book it's really not hard to believe all that has been written and said about this guy. Hard to feel sorry for his struggles in life - he sure doesn't. Pretty good book though, full of raw hard facts about his life.
    • 5/5
      hopefully he'll get better . has a lot issues poor dude
    • 4/5
      Well, if you thought your life was fucked... Guess what?
    • 5/5
      Narrated by Artie Lange and friends. I never heard of Artie Lange and I am no fan of Howard Stern's show. I picked up the audio version out of curiosity after reading an article about a librarian being invited on to Stern's show after she gave the audio a starred review. This is actually highly entertaining and hilarious storytelling, very appropriate given that he's a comedian. Crude at times, yes, but dang funny. Artie Lange comes off as a lovable mess whose addictive personality disappoints time and time again. (I was getting pretty impatient with him myself.) His surprising and abrupt departure from the audio production (completed by his friends) is even in keeping with the kind of life he leads. Truly a mess of a man but still a fun story for my work commute.
    • 5/5
      Great read Artie Lange tells the truth whether it's painful or not . Refreshing and insightful. A must for anyone who has battled their demans
    • 3/5
      I love Artie, he seems like a sweet bear of a guy with a huge heart and lots of problems! It was sweet reading about him and his dad. Though the book was ok there was really not a whole lot in it that he hasnt told on the Stern show over the years. Glad I read it but it didnt knock my socks off. I think maybe the audio version would be funnier.
    • 4/5
      If you love Artie, you'll love this book. If not . . . meh. I happen to love him, so I'm glad I made the "investment" (two day read, max.) Can't believe this guy is still living; I'm confused by his overabundant love for his family and friends and yet his hatred for himself. Seems like life keeps giving him gifts (jobs, fame, $$, etc.) and yet he just can't seem to keep on the right side of the road. If you have the choice, I've heard the audio version is great.
    • 4/5
      I was surprised on how quick I read this book. It was absorbing, sensitive, tragic and funny all at the same time. Artie Lange rushes us along through a compilation of various stories that highlight major pinnacles of his life. He shows us the importance of family and the lingering side effects the death of a close family member can have on a person. We are exposed to hauntings of various chronic addictions such as food, gambling and drugs. There is even a touching story here about his falling in love with a Brazilian prostitute to whom he lost his virginity. It doesn’t sound very romantic, does it? But I found it that it was written with true emotion. I really felt for Artie during this story, and really feel that he had found his first love. If you have seen any of Artie’s stand-up comedy, you already know that the book is going to rattle some cages. Artie’s says what he wants to say, without any hot potatoes in his mouth. He often, if not always, communicates in the most abrasive, foul mouthed manner. But that is what makes Artie. He always pulls a little chuckle out of me. A damn good comedian, with a very careless lifestyle that has me wondering how the heck he is still with us. I for one will cherish every minute that he is here, making me laugh.
    • 3/5
      Audiobook.Artie is a terrific storyteller and has a lot of stories to tell. Some laugh out loud moments and some really sad ones as well. Could write him off as another junkie loser, but there's always more to it than that. Worth listening to just to hear Artie come on and say he had to find some friends to finish narrating because he was in the middle of trying to kick heroin...again.
    • 4/5
      My first recommendation for this book is to treat it like swimming. Don't eat directly before, during, or after reading it. Lange makes it clear throughout that he is not holding back - and that includes the more unpleasant details. That being said, I was rather surprised to find I enjoyed this book. Unlike the majority of people who will pick up this book, I really didn't have much of an idea as to who Artie Lange was. I don't listen to the Howard Stern show and I have never seen his movies or his comedy acts. So when I realized that I was about to read about the experiences of a drug addict, I was fully prepared to dislike Lange. Not to say that I didn't have moments where I would have happily throttled his neck. The sheer amount of frustration that came from reading about Lange's self destructive lifestyle and how it nearly cost him all the success he built was intensely aggravating. I can't even begin to imagine how his friends felt. And that's the surprising part of this book. There are people who truly care for this man. At first I did not understand it. In these pages I saw a representation of a selfish jerk who didn't deserve a tenth of the success he had achieved. He was destructive, violent, and brought suffering to all those around him. But as I read through the book, I saw glimpses of a genuine and caring man. For all of his vices, for all the feuds and arguments he has had because of his various addictions, this seems to be a man who bears no ill will to anyone else. He is constantly surprised that he has managed to hold on to both his success and his friends. He has a strong and supportive family who love him dearly. Furthermore, he isn't afraid to own up to the most humiliating and shameful experiences of his life - and once you've read this book you'll understand why I fully believe that Lange was being brutally honest, though slightly self indulgent. As much as I went into this book expecting to detest everything about Lange, I came out unable to. In fact, I think I kind of like the guy. I am, however, thankful that it was not me who had to pull him constantly from his own messes. Lange's success is, in exceptionally large part, due to the loyalty of his friends and family and they deserve all the kudos that Lange can send their way. One trait of Lange's that find admirable is his willingness to get back up and try again. He falls frequently, but he doesn't tend to stay down. If it wasn't for the fact that his downfalls were so often self inflicted, I would be calling Mr. Lange quite the role model. I do have trouble identifying with Artie as his internal demons are ones I've never had to face. But his persistence is admirable and the opportunities we are given to see behind his crude facade are heartening. I can't say this book changed my life, though it may encourage others who have faced similar problems in their lives, but it was certainly a worthwhile read. I've read several celebrity biographies and was lovely to read about a man who is actually grateful for the gifts he has received. That alone makes it refreshing. This book isn't just a story about Lange, it is also about the friends and family who were strong enough to pull him through when he was at his weakest. I only hope that he succeeds in overcoming his issues and that any setbacks he experiences in his recovery are temporary.
    • 5/5
      The tragic story of the life that is Artie Lange. A gifted yet troubled comedian that seems to blow whatever success comes his way. At the rate he keeps blowing his chances Lange will eventually lose any shot at continued mainstream success, his life or both. I wonder why anybody keeps giving him a chance since he seems to burn bridges.
    • 2/5
      Book OverviewThis is the autobiography of Artie Lange -- perhaps best known as a member of The Howard Stern Show, which he joined in 2001. He was also on MADtv during the first season and has had roles in movies such as Dirty Work and Beer League. He is also a stand-up comedian who performs all over the country.Born into a working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, Mr. Lange was a "typical" American kid -- obsessed with sports, girls ... and comedy. At age 18, his beloved father suffers a fall and becomes a quadriplegic. This family tragedy pushes Lange over the edge, and he begins to dull his pain with alcohol and eventually drugs. Although his addiction develops and blossoms over the years, he pulls himself together enough to escape the confines of a the working class life he was "meant for" and throws himself into pursuing a comedy career.Despite his own best efforts to sabotage himself, he finds success and lands a role as a cast member on MADtv. But the money and the pressure start to take its toll, and Lange turns to cocaine to help him deal. He eventually spirals out of control and is let go from the cast and forced into rehab. He eventually puts himself together, scores a film role and then ... falls into drugs again -- this time heroin. He somehow lands a spot on The Stern Show -- which has a rabid fan following (my husband included). This leads to another movie and, over time, more struggles with drugs. Although he recently did a USO tour in Afghanistan (which he discusses in the book), my husband tells me he continues to struggle with his heroin addiction but somehow still manages to do the radio show each day.My ThoughtsYou may be wondering why I read this book. Primarily, I read it because my husband is a huge Howard Stern and Artie Lange fan and preordered this book -- something I have never seen him do before. (He is pretty much a non-reader -- although I am trying very hard to change that.) In an effort to show interest in what my husband was excited about reading and to see what was so darn funny about Mr. Lange, I decided I would read this book to find out a little more about this guy.I will admit, the first parts of the book -- although lewd and crude -- were not too bad. There is a section on how Mr. Lange lost his virginity (to a prostitute's sister) that was actually quite amusing -- if not a bit raunchy. And the way he writes about his father and their shared love of the Yankees was quite touching and gave me a bit of an insight into the male mind. And there are some stories about his parents and their love of Frankie Valli that were relatively enjoyable. But once the book shifted to his comedy career and subsequent drug addiction, I got less and less interested the more I read.Frankly, I don't think the book is that well-written, and Mr. Lange didn't strike me as the amazingly funny storyteller he supposedly is. But, then again, I don't think I am his target audience either. I found the sections on his drug problems to be very repetitive and unappetizing (as they rightfully should be). However, rather than draw me into his struggles, I just started to get a little bored and began checking to see how many pages were left. And, because there is no "moment of truth" where Mr. Lange is able to kick his drug problem, I wasn't left with an uplifted feeling either. In fact, when he mentions that he plans to write another book, my immediate thought was "Well, I hope you live long enough to complete it."My Final RecommendationI think this book is primarily for fans of Artie Lange and Stern Show fans. It might also be of minimal interest to readers who want to understand the mind of an addictive personality. However, I'm thinking there are better books on this topic, and I would hesitate to recommend it based on that. Bottom line: If you're a Lange or Stern fan, you'll probably like this book. Everyone else: take a pass.
    • 3/5
      I knew nothing about Artie Lange before I received this book as part of Early Reviewers. I always enjoy reading memoirs so I requested it without much background knowledge. When I found out her was a comic, and a rather crude one at that I didn't know if I would enjoy the book very much. The book stays true to form and might not appeal to a very wide audience because of the crude language and humour in places. That being said I actually had quite a bit of sympathy for Artie, he has clearly faced a lot of struggles in life and it still figuring out how to overcome those struggles. Unfortunately it feels like sometimes Artie himself doesn't even know how many problems he has. The book is a fairly quick read and is quite funny in places but I agree with other reviewers who said it was full of name dropping. It started to get quite annoying as the book progressed, I know these people have played a role in his life but it seems like it didn't add much and that it was simply a desperate attempt to seem important. Overall this book was okay. If you like Artie, or are a fan of Howard Stern, then I suggest giving this book a read, otherwise there are much better memoirs out there.
    • 4/5
      My husband, who does not read very much, grabbed this book the day it arrived from the ER program. He read every night instead of watching TV. At times he even laughed out loud. He will right his own review, but I thought I would add that whatever else is said about this book - it held the interest of a non reader. A small disclaimer - He does faithfully listen to Howard Stern and was very aware of Artie and his life but still, he read the book. He has now equaled his last years reading total!His Review:As a long time fan of the Howard Stern Show, I was really looking forward to reading show comedian Artie Lange’s Too Fat to Fish. On the radio Artie is known for his great one liners, amazing stories, addictive personality and out of control life, so my expectations were high that this book would be extremely funny.While the book does contain great stories and a number of one liners that will get you to laugh out loud, the main theme of the book is the tragic side of Artie’s life. Family tragedy followed by drug abuse and depression. The parallels to Belushi and Farley are scary, only this time you are reading the drama as it unfolds for a guy that amazingly is still alive. Artie claims to be an atheist so it’s also interesting to read all of the angel, God and guardian references, typical of the contradictions that are Artie Lange.The book is written in close style to the way Artie talks so it’s an easy read but definitely R rated. My main complaint with the writing is that every name drop in the book is followed with the typical show biz B.S. of “he/she is a wonderful person, and I owe everything to them…blah blah blah”. It got to be a bit much after a while. For fans on the Stern show this book adds great insight into Artie’s life and helps explain much of his addiction to food, alcohol, cocaine, heroin, prescriptions and hookers….did I leave anything out…oh yeah, gambling. That pretty much covers it. At the end Artie talks about a follow up book…lets hope he gets his life straightened out enough that he is alive to write it.
    • 3/5
      I'm a fan of Howard and Artie as well. Artie's stories were totally ridiculous, over the top, depressing, and completely heart-breaking. I'm surprised this guy is still alive after everything he has done to himself. The main thing that i absolutely HATED about this book is Artie's constant sucking up to everyone, and I mean EVERYONE that he mentions in the book. It seemed like every other line went something like, "X is the greatest person in the world. X means so much to me. I wish X only the best and I wish that we were still friends. You wouldn't be reading this book if it weren't for X." Substitute anyone's name mentioned in the book for X. All in all, this book was pretty annoying simply because of his writing style, but Artie's crazy life stories are worth the read.
    • 4/5
      Lange is a tortured character. While he claims that his drug use, gambling addiction and alcoholism stem from his father's paralysis after an accident in Lange's teen years, it's more likely that the roots of his addictive personality run much deeper. Full of fascinating - and distressing - stories, Lange can tell a compelling story. Sadly, much of the addiction stories feel like a cop-out -- Lange blames his issues on his father's injury and early death, and never seems to truly desire to change. A true creative genius, I fully expect to read about his death in the paper within one year, because his self-destructive behaviour shows no signs of stopping, and is in fact, escalating. It's a pity, too, because he still has some great stories to tell.
    • 2/5
      I had high hopes for _Too Fat to Fish_. It came recommended by various standup comics I knew who were aware of my love for brutally honest and funny storytelling. I'm not a fan of Howard Stern's show or MADtv, but I knew of Lange through some of his standup -- I knew he was a colossal fuckup (that how he refers to himself in this book), with an aptitude for getting in deep shit, barely living through it, and telling the tale afterwards. This is well trod territory in standup, Richard Pryor being probably the greatest example. This kind of thing is in my wheelhouse.There are some great stories in the book: the "too fat to fish" tale is hysterical, the one where Lange scores cocaine off a dealer while dresses as a pig (complete with a prosthetic snout) was surreal, losing his virginity to a Brazilian hooker in the back of a handicap enabled van was great. Unfortunately, too little of the book is comprised of these kinds of stories. Most of the book details Lange's various fuckups over the years in a self pitying tone that drove me crazy. I understand that he was going for honest storytelling, but I don't really care about Lange's suicide attempt, or his drug problems, or his maudlin meditations on his late father's impact on his life, no matter how honest.The self-indulgent flavour of the book isn't limited to those I-am-such-a-sad-sack tales. There is also a bizarre chapter documenting Lange's involvement in a movie, which consists of shameless name dropping for 20 pages with absolutely no payoff whatsoever. I know Artie Lange is an interesting person with thousands of anecdotes and a vivid storytelling style -- but I just don't care about the time he played pool with Chevy Chase or couldn't get through a scene with Don Rickles because he laughed so much.The things left out hurt the book almost as much as the stuff he included. Lange included nothing at all about his own work in comedy. Nothing about the material he performed as a struggling open-mic-er, nothing on his sketch work before the fame – hell, there’s nothing even about the stuff he did on MADtv. I would have loved to learn more about Lange’s comic sensibility, but all we get are some vague words about honesty being the key.I’m still not sure how to rate _Too Fat to Fish_. I just finished it and the disappointment is acute. I’m probably forgetting some of the good stuff and maybe exaggerating the bad. But I can tell you that the potential for so much more is there, and that is what is going through my mind when I think about this book.