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    You Suck: A Love Story
    You Suck: A Love Story
    You Suck: A Love Story
    Audiobook7 hours

    You Suck: A Love Story

    Written by Christopher Moore

    Narrated by Susan Bennett

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    ""You bitch, you killed me. You suck!""

    Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks.

    Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody—the woman of his dreams—is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.

    For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, sixteen-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!)

    Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue.

    And that really sucks.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperAudio
    Release dateJan 16, 2007
    ISBN9780061257407
    You Suck: A Love Story
    Author

    Christopher Moore

    Christopher Moore is the author of seventeen previous novels, including Shakespeare for Squirrels, Noir, Secondhand Souls, Sacré Bleu, Fool, and Lamb. He lives in San Francisco, California.

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    Reviews for You Suck

    4/5

    1,516 ratings93 reviews

    What did you think?

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    • 4/5
      hilarious and the performance was fantastic!
    • 2/5
      Like all vampire novels, the vampire should not be the protagonist. So far only bram stoker got it right. Abby Normal is a good character.
    • 5/5
      Really funny book. This is the first book that I have read by Christopher Moore and I look forward to reading more from him. The characters in the book are hilarious. "You Suck" is literally a Laugh Out Loud book. It will have you laughing from beginning to end. Speaking of ending...the ending could have been better but now that I know it is part of somewhat series it has been overlooked. I highly recommend "You Suck" if you are looking for a good and funny read. Enjoy!!
    • 4/5
      I really enjoyed this book. It was every bit as funny as I've come to expect from Christopher Moore. There were a few times that I laughed out loud.The book also includes a crossover scene with A Dirty Job but sadly there was no Minty Fresh.I believe Chris Moore is thinking about making this into a trilogy and I sincerely hope that he does.
    • 3/5
      The story of You Suck continues directly from the previous novel, Bloodsucking Fiends. Jody, one of the mature suckers and newly minted vampire, has remained in San Francisco despite her promise to the police to move away after the previous incidents. Tommy, her boyfriend, is shocked at the beginning of the sequel to discover that Jody has "turned" him (i.e., made him a vampire)—hence the title of the novel, although she explains that she did it so that they could be together forever. They struggle to survive and to maintain their relationship despite the efforts of others to eliminate them..Naturally, several other characters from Bloodsucking Fiends appear in this sequel, including the vampire who originally "turned" Jody, "The Animals"—Tommy's co-workers at the grocery, police detectives Rivera and Cavuto, and "The Emperor". Abby Normal, who was a minor Goth character in A Dirty Job, here provides much of the narration from the diary of her adventures as a "minion" of Tommy and Jody. In addition, the plot briefly intersects with that of A Dirty Job, at the point where Jody visits Charlie Asher's store one night to deliver the "soul vessel" of a dying old man whom she has just consumed. Although many of Moore's books feature appearances by characters from his previous novels, this is the first instance of the same scene being shown in two different books, from two different characters' perspectives.
    • 4/5
      Not your average “Buffy” clone, Moore takes the vampire legend in his own – funny, but a bit overly romantic – direction. I am impressed, as always, by Moore's understanding of people. His vampire hunting crowd is quite the collection of understandable, under-achieving, and under-heroic dudes. His female lead describes exactly how every woman feels when walking alone at night. And his oldest vampire does give the impression of a very old, very bored vampire – as he probably would be.With this book Moore is straying into the world of running jokes, and seems to be writing just for the fun of it. I love it when an author is enjoying the writing as much as I am enjoying the reading!
    • 4/5
      Reason for Reading: Next in the series and in preparation for the new book that just came out today (Mar. 23, 2010) in the series, "Bite Me".Summary: This book picks up right where book one, Bloodsucking Fiends, leaves off. Not too much of a plot going on here or maybe small bits of many plots going on. Jody and Tommy are exploring their new relationship. The Animals have all joined together with a blue-dyed Las Vegas hooker who decides to become their leader and wants them to capture Tommy. Tommy has his own minion, a cute goth girl who calls him Lord Flood and Jody, The Countess, and unfortunately Elijah, who was taken care of in book one, has escaped and is out to get them all again.Comments: Jody and Tommy are such a wonderful vampire couple; they show how it can be done right, with the perfect love match and eternal togetherness and a whole lot of fun! (Bella and Edward go find a coffin!) All the eccentric characters from book one are back with a few new faces: a homeless man and his HUGE shaved cat, Abby Normal the cute Goth girl who thinks vampires are so cool, and Blue the prostitute with blue-dyed skin. The whole book is just a complete riot, one outrageous episode after another that had me laughing out loud. I was very pleased to see Charlie Asher from A Dirty Job show up for a tiny cameo too! I think I have to say I enjoyed this one even more than the first book but the ending did bug me. I'm glad I've read it now when I know another book has been written, I think if I'd read it at the time it was published I would have been quite upset with the ending which just begs for a sequel to be written and three years is a long time to wait for one! Christopher Moore's humour is not for everyone but if you can laugh at yourself as much as others and can take a joke easier than you take offense Moore will be right up your alley. I can't wait to read "Bite Me" now!
    • 3/5
      Hmm, mixed thoughts on this book.

      It's the second in a series, and I havent read the first. For once I did feel I suffered by not having read the first book, as there are the same characters (it seems) and much history carried forward from the previous book.

      on the other hand, was amusing in parts, especially how Goth and vampire social moires (such as kids having grown up with Buffy and Dracula being confronted with "real" vampires, who in turn have only been undead for a matter of weeks or months - not centuries).

      Did get all a little messy in the end, and there are characters who turn up who I have idea who they are (see re book 1 hangovers)
    • 4/5
      Highly entertaining, an excellent sequel, and a good palate-cleanser after the more complex and daunting "Little, Big". Recommended for a quick read and a fun time.
    • 5/5
      Just as good at the first one. Abby Normal's trying to be gothic and tortured is just cute. I mean, she starts most of trains of thought with "'Kayso,". I seriously disliked the Animals in this one.
    • 4/5
      Great book! I love Christopher Moore. I think he is a brilliant writer. I had no idea when I originally picked this book up that it was the second book of the set. There were some questions to some of the characters, but the book could stand on its own. I am reading the first one now. Amazing book! Very funny!
    • 5/5
      Young love for teenage vampires. Well written. a good read.
    • 5/5
      This book made me laugh, which most books do not. Smile? Yes. Giggle? Maybe. Actually laugh out loud? Never. I absolutely adored Abby. She was everything I love rolled into one feisty character. The way that the characters cross paths, and interact is just comical, and leaves you craving more.
    • 5/5
      I was laughing so hard I was crying!
    • 5/5
      OK, this is getting to be a trend. I keep saying I'm not a Christopher Moore fan, but I keep liking his stuff more and more all the time. I was literally laughing out loud at this one. I'll be reading the next one right away. Maybe I am a Christopher Moore fan?...
    • 5/5
      I learned my lesson years ago never to read Christopher Moore in public. All I have to say about YOU SUCK is that the scene with the cat had me in tears.
    • 2/5
      Read a long time ago. The author is funny and most of his books are entertaining and have a very unique writing style that is bound to make you laugh. Nothing too profound though.
    • 1/5
      I’ve always been intrigued by the covers of Christopher Moore’s novels so I decided to pick one up, and I couldn’t possibly be more disappointed. There wasn’t a single aspect of the humor in this novel that I found to be the least bit funny. Perhaps I just wasn’t the target audience for the novel since I don’t often read humor novels, but I just didn’t get it. It’s like being at a party with a person who is really trying hard to be funny, but nothing they say can even get a chuckle out of you.The story and elements of the story were so silly that they just seemed kind of dumb, such as the blue prostitute, the stoner vampire hunters who worked the night shift at a grocery store, a homeless guy with a fat cat. I just didn’t get any of these things. I can tell these novels are popular and if they work for you, more power to you, but as for me, this is the first and last Christopher Moore novel that I will read.Carl Alves – author of Blood Street
    • 4/5
      Fun light hearted vampires story. It actually is a love story. Was my first foray into Christopher Moore's books and apparently this one is a sequel. Still a good read in it's own right but they make numerous references to what has happened before. This one has the two lead characters who are vampires both recently turned exploring there new lives together. The "Animals" who have also come into a lot of money have spent there time in Las Vegas where they have hooked up with a prostitute named Blue as she has colored her skin blue. The Animals learn that their former leader has been turned into a vampire and go on the hunt for him. Blue on the other hand has other ideas for him in mind. She wants the gift of eternal life. This leads to a number of new vampires being created which causes problems with the old vampire who has been resurrected after being mistaken for a living statue in a big city plaza.
    • 4/5
      This is my first Christopher Moore book, and I'm not typically a vampire story reader. This was highly entertaining and will not be my last Christopher Moore book :)
    • 4/5
      For Halloween this year, I went as a bad standup-comedian vampire. I wrote some jokes that followed typical standup subject matter but entirely without punch lines. My style was Steven Wright minus the payoff. I dressed as a vampire, wore realistic fangs, too, and performed the routine at two parties with a plant in the audience each time directed to shout, after four jokes, “You suck!!!”

      I killed.

      Hahahah. Well, I kill me, anyway.

      So a while back a friend loaned me the novel, You Suck because he said it was hilarious. When I realized it was part two of a trilogy, the OCD completist in me couldn’t read it without buying part one Bloodsucking Fiends and part three Bite Me. This review will cover all three installments.

      All three books have a delightfully whimsical, campy quality. Occasionally, there are moments of pseudo-profound introspection, but these are some of the least satisfying elements in the books. The Vampire Trilogy, as Moore calls it, at its finest puts a few hilarious characters in embarrassing situations. And he’s got some brilliant lines sprinkled throughout to season the meal.

      Bloodsucking Fiends is by far the least funny and least satisfying of the three. I would describe it as fun without being all that funny. There were several plot twists, especially toward the end, that were quite unconvincing. I also found one of the two main characters, the 19-year old writer wannabe, to be rather annoying and far too naïve-country-boy-comes-to-big-city while the other main character was a bit too bland. Nonetheless, Moore sustained my interest through a barreling plot and amusing characters. I was definitely a bit disappointed and almost didn’t continue, but the OCD side took control, and I’m glad it did.

      You Suck upped the hilarity quotient exceedingly through the introduction of two characters of comedic brilliance, the sick-and-twisted, uber-snarky goth girl Abby Normal (I wonder if Moore stole that name from Young Frankenstein. Or more accurately, did the character steal it because her “real” name is Allison Green while Abigail von Normal is her goth name) and her gay goth bff Jared. Apparently, Abby has a small role in one of Moore’s other novels, but she becomes much more significant in You Suck, and Bite Me is really more of her novel than the two hero vampires, Tommy and Jody. Good call, I say. because she is way damn funnier and smarter than either of them. She really steals the show with her wit and attitude. I could read Abby Normal all day.

      I wouldn’t be surprised to see these novels as movies some day. The late-shift supermarket stockers/vampire-hunting stoners featured practically beg for a screenplay to be written for them. And surely some starlet needs to be Abby Normal in order to break from her goody-two-shoes casting. And plus … vampires. Nobody’s done a good vampire comedy since Love at First … okay, since ever. This could work.

      Occasionally, the plot seems to get away from Moore and it requires more exposition than it should, but when he focuses on character, the story kills. Overall, worth reading … good comedy is bloody hard to do.
    • 4/5
      Not as good as the first book. I realize that most of his books are interconnected and we have all these characters to contend with but it just fell flat about 5 chapters in. I don't think I'll be getting back to it.
    • 4/5
      Funnier than Bloodsucking Fiends, with a couple new characters who are really excellent. Abby and Chet pretty much make the book. It's even better if you hear it read aloud (the book on CD is really well done). My only complaint is that the conclusion is rather lacking and not, I think, in a "I'm going to write yet another sequel sort of way."
    • 2/5
      Not as good as Blood Sucking Fiends. Not as funny, characters felt flat and the story was all over the place. Too bad because I loved the first one and this had a great title.
    • 3/5
      I thought this book was funny. It was quirky, like most of Moore's books. I did not realize that this book picks up where "Bloodsucking Fiends" leaves off. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it without knowing much of Jody's background. I especially enjoyed the parts with Abby Normal. I always found myself cracking up aloud when I read the chapters that were from her perspective. The story overall was ok for me...nothing really special or standout about it. However, it was an enjoyable, quick, and funny read which is what I needed at the moment.
    • 3/5
      Really enjoyed the book (so, so strangely funny), but the ending was weak and that kind of ruined it for me, particularly since the ending of the first book was so great.

      The author was quite good at filling the reader in on previous events so the first book was not necessary to read before understanding events in this book, but you do miss a lot of small funny things if you haven't read them both.
    • 4/5
      We seem to be reading the vampire/love stories of Christopher Moore backwards. We've now worked our way down to number two, and still thoroughly enjoy it all. It made our 5 hour drive seem much shorter. It is always grand to have a journey punctuated with laughter. The reader of this audio book does such a fabulous Abby Normal. Good material helps, too.Plot summary available elsewhere.
    • 3/5
      This was a pretty enjoyable read. It could have been a lot better, though. I didn't realize going into it that it was part of a series, so maybe I missed something by not reading the first novel in the series.It was quite a humorous novel, and I liked that it didn't take itself too seriously. Like I said, it could have been a lot better. It was very, very boring at the beginning. There were also certain chapters (the Abby Normal ones) that I felt could have either been better or just scrapped completely. Those chapters were annoying and just felt like filler.There was also a problem with how the story was put together. There were so many plot and subplot lines and they, again, just felt like filler. It was hard to keep up with what was going on sometimes. And some of the story was not developed enough.I wish that this had been better. I really wish I could give it a better review than I've given it, but this is what it really deserves.
    • 4/5
      A worthy successor to Bloodsucking Fiends. We follow Thomas and Jody who struggle with their relationship, their being a vampire, and finding a minion. This minion is a nice, but sometimes annoying, addition to the cast of the series. Again, a funny and entertaining book. Note that you could read this book without having read the first book of the series, but I would recommend sticking to the right order to better appreciate certain characters and their story.
    • 4/5
      This was my first book I read from Christopher Moore. I wasn't aware that it was a series until after I read it. LOL I was a little bit confused on Jodi's back story, but was I became more engrossed in the book, it really didn't matter to me. I like how he injects humor into the supernatural world and yet still makes Vampires the brooding, scary creatures they are.