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    Fifty Shames of Earl Grey: A Parody
    Fifty Shames of Earl Grey: A Parody
    Fifty Shames of Earl Grey: A Parody
    Audiobook4 hours

    Fifty Shames of Earl Grey: A Parody

    Written by Fanny Merkin

    Narrated by Allyson Ryan

    3.5/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    Young, arrogant tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naive coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick)? Or will his dark secrets and constant smirking drive her over the edge?
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTantor Media, Inc
    Release dateJul 10, 2012
    ISBN9781452678115
    Fifty Shames of Earl Grey: A Parody
    Author

    Fanny Merkin

    Fanny Merkin lives in a Beverly Hills mansion purchased using the embarrassingly large advance she received for "Fifty Shames of Earl Grey." She is a former Walmart employee who writes under the pseudonym, "Andrew Shaffer," for publications as diverse as Mental Floss and Maxim.

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    Reviews for Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

    3.5/5

    78 ratings16 reviews

    What did you think?

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    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 4/5
      I’ve not read many parodies before but Andrew Shaffer is mildly amusing on twitter so I thought I’d give his book ago. Fifty Shames of Earl Grey is an obvious dig at Fifty Shades of Grey but it also has fun with the Twilight fanfic elements as well; clearly pointing out the similarities of the two books with lines like; “I’m Edward Cullen. I mean, ‘Earl Grey.’ Have a seat?” This novel reminds me of a Leslie Nielsen style parody with the farfetched and over done humour, but that’s what makes it so much fun to read. Earl Grey is billionaire with fifty secret shames; some of them involve his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick) while others are even worse, like his love of Nickelback.

      Obviously this is never going to be high literature with lines like “Moan,” I moan. “Moan, moan, moooooooan.” but is this book suppose to reflect the literary flaws of 50 Shades and Twilight or is this just meant to be a fun read? I’m not going to think too much about it, I went into this book for a fun read and that is how I will review it. I’ve heard people claim that Edward Cullen and Christian Grey are hot but none come close to Earl Grey because “HOLY MOTHER EFFING SPARKLY VAMPIRES IS HE HOT”.

      Let’s face it Andrew Shaffer had a lot of fun with this book, from the pseudonym (Fanny Merkin) to the cover and everything in between. It was awkward and unexpected, I had so much fun reading this book, I don’t normally highlight but my kindle version of this book has over thirty different highlighted passages in it. I really enjoyed what Shaffer did with this book; highlights for me included the Spanking scene with the Count from Sesame Street and the Cleo sex quiz (which I really want to read the other 200 pages of). I’m looking forward to Fifty Shames in Space but right now I need a sandwich.
    • 5/5
      Wow. This has me laughing so hard. I have never read/listened to a parody book before and this did not disappoint!
    • 4/5
      This was a fun read, literally. At times I laughed until I was in tears. Definitely something for everyone who thought 50 Shades of Grey was utter horsecrap.
    • 3/5
      I didn't read 50 Shades of Grey but couldn't resist reading this parody. This was a fast, humorous read poking fun at the craziness of the original book.I did find both characters to be extremely entertaining; Anna with her air-head simplicity and Earl Grey in his role as uber Alpha Male (for Pete's sake he drains the Pacific Ocean to save his Anna!)Yes all the characters were completely undefined and one dimensional but they were fun. You don't read this book looking for a comparison piece to one of the greats like War and Peace or Anna Karenina. You read it because you have some spare time on your hands and need a bit of a laugh.
    • 2/5
      Fifty Shames of Earl Grey by Fanny Merkin

      I figured I'd give it a try. Read a lot of reviews about how funny it was.I guess maybe I'm just not into parodies. Found it to be gross and rather annoying.
    • 3/5
      Silly book, but much better written than the original Fifty Shades.
    • 4/5
      I’m laughing as much as I was when I read the original Fifty Shades.

      Actually, strike that. I’m laughing more.

      Quite sensibly, I began reading Fifty Shames of Earl Grey when I was by myself, flying to Chicago. And I proceeded to laugh out loud — and gain some puzzled looks — as I read. But how to explain the jokes in Fifty Shames? I didn’t attempt it then, because I didn’t want to get kicked off the plane for being a pervert.

      It’s a delight to read. I still think of lines from the book and snicker to myself during a quiet moment at work, or while I’m walking home. Who but Fanny Merkin could put together jabs at Twilight, Fifty Shades, bronies, tea, and tech (mini-disc player, anyone)?

      Even if you haven’t read E.L. James’ Fifty Shades (or the entire trilogy), you should still read Fifty Shames. It’s better, it’s funnier, and you’ll want more when you’re done.
    • 5/5

      This story was brought to you by the letters F, M and the number 5 ..... 5 stars!

      If this book were to be made into a movie, it would be brought to us by the makers of The Naked Gun, Hot Shots and Airplane.

      Whether you've read the stories responsible for the FSoG hype, Fifty Shades of Grey Master of the Universe Twilight, this parody is hysterical in it's delivery. Bella's Ana's Lip biting and blushing had nothing on Anna's nose picking, smelly feet and untamed jungle. The steady stream of pop culture references from the 80s to the present will leave you howling with laughter. The most memorable and laugh-out-loud moment had to be the taking of Anna's virginity. Don't worry, the author didn't forget about the most controversial moment in the book – tampons will be involved. The book cover is also wickedly clever, once you get over the "shock" of noticing the "tea bagging".

      Earl Grey is a hot geek and a billionaire CEO. His darkest secret isn't being fifty shades of f*ed up, but his list of fifty (hilarious) shames. At the top of the list is BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick) that he dabbles in with female LARPs (live action role players). Our virginal ditz, Anna is sent in her friend's stead to conduct an interview with him for an article in Boardroom Hotties. They meet, sparks fly, and Mr. Grey will resort to buying up every obstacle in his path to lay claim to Anna. From then on, this book is a hilariously perverted journey. So jump on the bandwagon and prepare to have your mind spleen blown.

      P.S. Common courtesy dictates giving credit where credit is due, so there's a nice dedication at the end. Nicely done, Fanny Merkin!

      Thank you Perseus Book Groups and Da Capo Press via NetGalley for the ARC

      Disclaimer: A review in exchange for the ARC was not promised. The views and opinions expressed in this review are my own, and in no way represent the views or opinions of the publisher/distributor.
    • 4/5
      4.5 stars because Anna Steal picks her nose.
    • 4/5
      Best nom de plume ever? Hilarious book, really.
    • 3/5
      I decided pretty quickly after my awful experience with the Fifty Shades trilogy that I needed to read this book. The excerpt had me giggling and I loved the book trailer. Plus, I just like Andrew Shaffer. I follow him on Twitter and he is fucking hilarious.

      In his parody, the enigmatic Earl Grey is into BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick), which is a form of erotic LARPing. He also enjoys shopping at Wal-Mart, Nickleback, and other shameful things. While this book probably isn’t funny to just anyone, if you’ve read and rolled your eyes over Fifty Shades, this will be at least a little humorous. Some of it had me laughing out loud. I was really entertained at the beginning, though I must grudgingly admit that it lost its steam somewhere along the way. There were still funny Fifty Shades references throughout, but I think I was a little put off by the complete ridiculousness of the ending. If you enjoy crude, ridiculous humor it should keep you entertained.

      Some of my favorite parts include the Portland jokes, Earl Grey buying Wal-Mart so that Anna can take off work, flying her next door to Starbucks in his helicopter, and blowing a heart into a dormant volcano with missiles in one of the fighter jets from Top Gun. Totally ridiculous.
    • 5/5
      Hilarious book, great for fans and haters of the popular trilogy.
    • 4/5
      Author: Fanny Merkin & Andrew ShafferPublished By: Da Capo Press Age Recommended: AdultReviewed By: Arlena DeanBlog For: GMTARating: 4Review: "Fifty Shames of Earl Grey" by Fanny Merkin and Andrew Shaffer was some interesting read that truly kept me laughing all the way through this hilarious novel. This was a definitely a story that I was found wondering just what craziness this author(s) would bring on next. Wow! It is my understanding that this is a parody in that these authors spoof of the very popular 50 Shades of Grey...where Mr. Earl Grey..was a corporate tycoon..a rich guy, that could buy anything..had his own secrets or his "Fifty Shames." Then there is Anna Steal, a naive college student and Walmart cashier who meets Earl Grey..well this is where I say you must pick up this read.."Fifty Shames of Earl Grey" and just maybe you will be smiling at some on this funny read. I know many will say this is a ridiculous read but just remember this is a parody and it is supposed to be funny..sort of like 'Airplane and Naked Gun.' These authors did a good job of taking these of the original book and completely creating other scenarios and these could only put a smile on your face. These authors did a good job of taking these of the original book and completely creating other scenarios and these could only put a smile on your face.If you are looking for a good novel that pokes fun in all the right places then pick up "Fifty Shames of Earl Grey" ....for I would recommend to you as a good read.
    • 3/5
      50 Shames of Earl Grey is a silly book. Andrew Shaffer spoofs the very popular 50 Shades of Grey in this book. He doesn't hold back as he makes fun of both Twilight and 50 Shades. Nothing is off limits. I loved how ludicrous Earl Grey and Anna Steal are. Anna is so ridiculously naive it's a wonder she can walk. Earl Grey is overbearing and super sensitive. He's in to BDSM, but in his case it's Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick. That's a little . . . awkward. This book had some definite laugh out loud moments. If you have a sense of humor you'll enjoy this book.
    • 3/5
      Soon-to-be-college graduate Anna Steal meets the irresistibly sexy, rich, handsome, suave, and nerdy Earl Grey and gets swept away in a romance beyond her imagination. The sex and presents may be great, but Earl Grey has some deep dark things that he is ashamed about, which can threaten their chances of staying together forever.FIFTY SHAMES OF EARL GREY was at its best when it scathingly critiqued the (many) flaws of Fifty Shades of Grey and E. L. James’ writing. Alas, FIFTY SHAMES OF EARL GREY enjoyed itself too much too often, and the liberties it took with plot, characterization, and humor ultimately weakened my overall enjoyment of the book.FIFTY SHAMES OF EARL GREY has an arguably unlimited source of material to parody, and that’s what it does best. I giggle-snorted the most when Merkin/Shaffer laid bare the utterly ridiculous inelegance of James’ writing.On meaningless descriptions:“I gaze into his gazing eyes gazingly like a gazelle gazing into another gazelle’s gazing gaze.”“We step inside the cabin and he turns the lights on. Wow. What a place. There are so many things, like couches and chairs and tables.”“It doesn’t seem fair that one man could be so beautiful, and so talented, and so rich, but damn: Earl Grey is the total package. My inner guidette shakes her head. That’s like the fiftieth time you’ve said that, using nearly the exact same words, she says.”On using physical qualities to repeatedly characterize “her” characters:“I watch as he pulls his credit card out of his wallet using his long fingers, which I swear have to be longer than his forearms.”On illogical progressions in story events:“’I’m kind of glad you crashed into the ocean,’ Earl says.‘And why is that, Mr. Grey?’‘Because I’m throwing a masked charity ball tonight, and I’d love for you to come with me.’”On Christian Grey’s creepiness/unrealisticness/unattractiveness:“He’s just too good looking to say no to. I can’t quit him, even if I tried. Mostly because he would stalk me to the ends of the earth, but still.”“’You’re doing so much good in the world, Mr. Grey,’ I tell him.‘It’s to balance out the cruelty in my own heart,’ he says grimly.I don’t say anything, because there’s no use arguing with Earl Grey when he’s PMSing.”On the transparency of Fifty Shades of Grey being Twilight fanfiction:“Earl is only six years older than me, but sometimes the gulf between our ages seems like something I can’t bridge. It’s like he’s a 104-year-old vampire in a twenty-seven-year-old’s body.”So yeah, the book has some great biting lines about FSoG being an utter piece of crap. But, as I mentioned, it’s one thing to parody and criticize the original material’s ridiculousness, it’s another to add your own kind of ridiculousness. The liberties that FIFTY SHAMES OF EARL GREY took with content left me mostly unmoved. For instance, Earl Grey has a love for Tom Cruise that shows up in the form of multiple movie references. Shaffer explains this as being a running gag, but it didn’t do anything for me. Neither did Jin’s (Anna’s “ethnic friend,” ahaha poking fun at token minorities as “diversity” in literature) bronyism, Katherine’s alcoholism, or “Triassic Park.”On Ana/Anna’s idiocy:“Once I graduate, I’m going to start looking for a ‘real’ job. I don’t have anything lined up yet, but I’m not one to worry. In this economy, it shouldn’t be too hard for a fresh college graduate to find a new job.”“I feel naked before him, mostly because I don’t have any clothes on.”“Less than a minute later, there’s a reply from Earl Grey. Somebody clearly wasn’t busy enough.”Actually, that last line illustrates another of the head-shaking things about EARL GREY: Anna Steal has a better head on her shoulders her counterpart. Ana Steele was too stupid in a blank, wish fulfillment kind of way for the author and susceptible readers; Anna Steal was over-the-top stupid (and also, might I add, cringe-inducingly horny), but she also hits it spot-on with her character analyses of Earl Grey. Such insight does not belong to Ana/Anna’s character; the fact that it does in FIFTY SHAMES OF EARL GREY makes readers wonder why she felt she deserved Earl Grey when she clearly deserved better than him.My favorite lines from the book:“He’s a nice guy. Like Mark Zuckerberg, only less autistic.”“’Look, the point is, there are plenty of ponies in the sea.’‘Yeah, and they’re called “seahorses,”’ Jin says, sulking.And the utter truth about FSoG, spoken about Anna (which, again, makes her smarter than her counterpart ever was):“’You act like there’s something wrong with you, like everything you enjoy is embarrassing or scary. News flash, Mr. Grey: This isn’t 1950 or whatever. Your sexual tastes aren’t as shocking or as deviant as you think. Neither is anything else you like. Maybe if you didn’t take your fifty shames so seriously, I wouldn’t be so compelled to laugh at them.’”Over and out.
    • 2/5
      I'm gonna start right off and say that I didn't finish this book. I'm not big on comedy, although I do love witty comments and banter between the characters. I picked this book up because:1. I read a few reviews that said it was laugh-out-loud funny2. Because I needed a good laugh to cheer me upWell, let's just say that my "laugh-out-moments" were far and few in between. I'm thinking I didn't really enjoy this book because I didn't actually read Fifty Shades, but I did read Twilight and that was enough for me to go off of. The characters, well... If I could reach in and slap someone so hard that they would be knocked back into last week (mind you, I'm not a violent person) then it would have to be Anna Steal. Which makes me wonder, what would I think about Anastasia Steele from Fifty Shades? Meehh. I guess I won't know, as it is not on my TBR list. The funny factor in here just wasn't up to par for me. I felt like I was watching those godawful parody movies about Twilight (Vampires Suck and Breaking Wind). The funny got old fast. I didn't have my "knee-slapper" moment with this boo and that disappointed me. I wouldn't recommend this book. It just wasn't my cup of tea. No, Earl Grey, not even a cup of you.