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    Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want
    Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want
    Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want
    Audiobook6 hours

    Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want

    Written by Nicholas Epley

    Narrated by Nicholas Epley

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    You are a mind reader, born with an extraordinary ability to understand what others think, feel, believe, want, and know. It’s a sixth sense you use every day, in every personal and professional relationship you have. At its best, this ability allows you to achieve the most important goal in almost any life: connecting, deeply and intimately and honestly, to other human beings. At its worst, it is a source of misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict, leading to damaged relationships and broken dreams.

    How good are you at knowing the minds of others? How well can you guess what others think of you, know who really likes you, or tell when someone is lying? How well do you really understand the minds of those closest to you, from your spouse to your kids to your best friends? Do you really know what your coworkers, employees, competitors, or clients want?

    In this illuminating exploration of one of the great mysteries of the human mind, University of Chicago psychologist Nicholas Epley introduces us to what scientists have learned about our ability to understand the most complicated puzzle on the planet—other people—and the surprising mistakes we so routinely make. Why are we sometimes blind to the minds of others, treating them like objects or animals? Why do we sometimes talk to our cars, or the stars, as if there is a mind that can hear us? Why do we so routinely believe that others think, feel, and want what we do when, in fact, they do not? And why do we believe we understand our spouses, family, and friends so much better than we actually do? Mindwise will not turn other people into open books, but it will give you the wisdom to revolutionize how you think about them—and yourself.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBrilliance Audio
    Release dateFeb 11, 2014
    ISBN9781480574212
    Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want
    Author

    Nicholas Epley

    Nicholas Epley is the John Templeton Keller Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He has written for The New York Times and published more than fifty articles in two dozen journals in his field. He was named a “professor to watch” by the Financial Times, is the winner of the 2008 Theoretical Innovation Prize from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, and was awarded the 2011 Distinguished Scientific Award for an Early Career Contribution to Psychology from the American Psychological Association. He lives in Chicago.

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    Reviews for Mindwise

    4/5

    76 ratings11 reviews

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    • 2/5
      You don’t really need to read/listen to this whole book :P The gist is; you can’t understand other people without communicating. I didn’t feel like I needed to listen for hours to get that point.

      3 people found this helpful

    • 3/5
      Easy reading pop-science. Many studies are described and discussed, but as Feynman points out, although they may be fun, they don't measure up to the high and difficult standards required by experiments in the real sciences.I read the book in a version subtitled: "How We Understand...", but I think the alternate subtitle "Why We Misunderstand..." is probably more apt (although it might sell fewer copies that way).Although the experiments somewhat undercut the message, there are a lot of interesting observations made.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      My first ever audiobook! Really enjoyed it, useful insights, interesting content, engaging delivery. Yep, I was happy with it ?
    • 5/5
      this book is a perfect example of don't judge a book by it's cover its truly remarkable book I have ever read
    • 5/5
      Your mind (and mine) are what makes doing anything possible. Mindwise makes a valuable contribution to heading us understand how our minds work, what they can do, and what they can’t. Really nicely read by the author.
    • 2/5
      Okay overall. Our guessing is pretty bad, asking is better than guessing, Ekman's science is thin, 'male brains' and 'female brains' are mostly nonsense. Citing Stephen Jay Gould was jarring, apparently some people still respect Gould.
    • 4/5
      Mindwise by Nicholas Epley is a clear, thorough, accessible book about how we try to "read" others' minds - that is, find out what other people actually think. It's a well-written and useful addition to the many books out there about cognition, and actually adds something new to the conversation.

      Basically, Epley says, we human beings just don't know as much as we think we do. We can guess how others think, but some things we just can't know, and some of the mistakes we make about the way other people think cause real damage, as recent events in the news have been making clear.

      Human beings, he says, are surprisingly bad at knowing what is going through other people's minds. We treat people like things (or like children, or like animals), and treat things like people (that is, assume that things have a mind of their own). We rely on egocentric assumptions and stereotypes. We think that people's actions match what's going on their minds. Much of the time, we don't even know what we ourselves are thinking, and must mind-read ourselves.

      Epley gives many convincing examples, stories, and summaries of research to back up his assertions, and many of them are powerful. He is a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago, but he doesn't let academic writing infect his prose too much. He does a good job of treading the line between mass-market popular science and scholarly discourse, generally staying well on the side of readability while providing sound evidence. There are end-notes, but even they are often interesting to read, and you get the feeling that Epley could have written a book twice as long as this one and kept his reader's interest.

      The author finishes by saying that we should not be guessing or assuming we know what people think. Instead, we need to actually find out what they think by asking them and listening to them. It's a common-sense conclusion that makes even more sense if you have read the book. After reading it, I have been tempted a few times in conversations about politics to hand people a piece of paper with the title of the book and the suggestion that they get it. You will be glad to know I have restrained myself so far.
    • 4/5
      Author Nicholas Epley argues that we have a sixth sense, the ability to see into other people’s minds. Authors of fiction employ that sense imaginatively to see into their character’s minds, and readers of fiction get to see the results. But in real life, we’re not very mindwise, not even when it comes to seeing into our own minds, the ones closest to us. That tension between what we can and can’t do might call into the question the whole concept of a sixth sense. But Nicholas Epley’s Mindwise is still an intriguing read, filled with experimental results, anecdotes and argument.Some of the experiments described in this book might appear over-simplistic, their results possibly skewed to fit an argument when many other factors, especially social niceties and personal insecurities, might have come into play. But all the examples presented by the author provide food for thought; some of the statistics, in particular, are startling and truly disturbing.Most interesting to me were cases where social niceties (such as “though shalt not kill”) might be deliberately eliminated, in the training of soldiers for example. The author shows how “mischaracterizing the minds of terrorists can lead to faulty strategies,” and later how our inability to read minds produces very strange results from, for example, the TSA.Mindwise is a slow read, with lots of arguments, facts and examples. But it’s a fascinating read from a social as well as a scientific point of view. Sometimes annoying, sometimes deeply intriguing, it’s well worth the effort and rewards the reader with lots to think about.Disclosure: I bought it in a deal and I offer my honest review.
    • 4/5
      A modestly good read. Provides most beginners Ingrid area with great starting points. You should really take a moment to look at the citations and move forward from there. Good stuff.
    • 4/5
      One of my favorite hobbies is the study of people - why other people think and act the way they do. So Mindwise by Nicholas Epley was a very enjoyable read for me, even fascinating at times.The first 3/4 of the book is devoted to explaining (with many studies and examples) why we often mis-understand other people, even people close to us who we *should* know best. People tend to be ego-centric, looking at others as if they are like ourselves. We have to remind ourselves to walk in the other person's shoes, but that can be quite difficult and isn't always enough. It was amazing to look at all the ways we can be mislead.It is only in the last part of the book that the author offers practical suggestions for increasing our understanding of others. That is my only complaint about this book. I wish more time had been devoted to improving our "mind-reading" skills, perhaps with more real life examples and tips.Overall, I would recommend this book for others like me who enjoy the study of people. :)
    • 3/5
      This is an easy, light read, written in everyday language that works well for the casual reader. Epley offers data from various studies to show us how often we make assumptions about others, and how often those assumptions are wrong. He also gives us insight into how and why we - often unconsciously - make those assumptions.While much of this content isn't brand new research, it's presented well. I particularly liked the chapter on stereotypes. At one time or another, all of us are guilty of casting people into stereotypical groups. This chapter explores why we do it and how easily that tendency can lead us astray. I was disappointed in the chapter on anthropomorphism (attributing human traits to inanimate objects). Throughout much of this content, Epley lumps animals in with inanimate objects such as computers and cars. Whether intentional or not, the information was presented as if humans are the only beings capable of mindfulness. Granted, dogs don't wallow in guilt when they pee on the carpet and cows don't sit around pondering their existence, but they certainly do have minds. They have a different method of thinking, but they do indeed have thoughts. Epley's failure to acknowledge animals as conscious beings is a major stumbling point for me.Epley weaves in a few personal anecdotes when explaining certain phenomena. This gives the book a friendlier feel, which is particularly good for those readers who don't want the 'text book' experience. The Notes section provides more detail on the studies and observations made throughout the book. I wish some of this had been included within the main text, because it adds to content that can otherwise be a little too light for readers like me who want to explore this topic in depth.Overall, this book offers a look at how our minds work, and gives us one important conclusion: If you want to know what someone is thinking, ask.