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    30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage
    30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage
    30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage
    Audiobook8 hours

    30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage

    Written by Karl Pillemer

    Narrated by Sean Pratt

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    From the author of the beloved 30 Lessons for Living

    Karl Pillemer's 30 Lessons for Living first became a hit and then became a classic. Readers loved the sage advice and great stories from extraordinary older Americans who shared what they wish they had known when they were starting out. Now, Pillemer returns with lessons on one of the most talked- about parts of that book-love, relationships, and marriage.

    Based on the most detailed survey of longmarried people ever conducted, 30 Lessons for Loving shows the way to lifelong, fulfilling relationships. The author, an internationally renowned gerontologist at Cornell University, offers sage advice from the oldest and wisest Americans on everything from finding a partner, to deciding to commit, to growing old together. Along the way, the book answers questions like these: How do you know if the person you love is the right one? What are the secrets for improving communication and reducing conflict? What gets you through the major stresses of marriage, such as child-rearing, work, money issues, and inlaws? From interviews with 700 elders, 30 Lessons for Loving offers unique wisdom that will enrich anyone's relationship life, from people searching for the right partner to those working to keep the spark alive after decades together.

    Filled with great stories, wise observations, and useful advice, 30 Lessons for Loving is destined to become another classic.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAscent Audio
    Release dateFeb 1, 2015
    ISBN9781469030760
    30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage

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    Reviews for 30 Lessons for Loving

    4/5

    24 ratings9 reviews

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    • 3/5
      "Respect means freedom, not control: I give you the right to be yourself.” ~ eighty-eight-year-old Eula Zimmerman 30 Lessons for Loving is loaded with advice garnered from surveying approximately seven hundred adults age sixty-five and over.The Marriage Advice Project is a national interview survey. The questions asked were a series of prompts, asking individuals to share love and marriage advice for young people, focusing on topics such as: choosing a mate, dealing with stressors, avoiding break-ups, the role of intimacy, and core values and principles for marriage.It’s interesting to read about the frustrations and satisfaction these individuals’ have experienced throughout their lives. What better way to educate young couples on such things than to go to the sources with experience?As someone who has been happily married for three decades, I relate to these individuals’ familiarity and knowledge of marriage, family, and love. Life experience carries an obligation to share both failures and achievements with anyone willing to listen and learn from them.This book is a collection of thirty lessons, divided into five chapters: Lessons for Finding a Mate, Communication and Conflict, Getting Over the Hard Parts, Keeping the Spark Alive, and Thinking Like an Expert About Love and Marriage. There is also an Appendix, explaining how this study was conducted.One of the simplest and dearest pieces of advice is found in the chapter on Communication. The lesson titled, Mind Your Manners, shares the importance of how married couples treat one another. When people disagree in the workplace they rarely raise their voices, storm off, call each other names and such, so there’s no call for couples doing so in their relationships.I especially liked a particular man’s take on this. Seventy-five-year-old Tony Matthews states:It’s all about demonstrating love and having mutual respect. I think as people are around the same person for a long time, they forget to be polite and just say please and thank you, or offer one another a hand. Simple things that can mean a lot. I know of so many couples where one person becomes grouchy because things aren’t exactly right. I think it’s a matter of not forgetting those simple things that make up politeness.Cover: Just okayTitle: Like itPublisher: Hudson Street PressPages: 304Pace: SteadyFirst lines (Chapter one): My advice? Be extremely careful about who you marry. The most important thing is to pick someone who is a good candidate for marriage. You can’t make something out of nothing. When you’re young it’s easy to be bowled over by how someone looks. But that isn’t enough.Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book from the LibraryThing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
    • 4/5
      I very much enjoyed this book. Great advice and insight from people who have been married for decades. A lot of the stories are very sweet, but it also provides real life examples that aren't always pleasant. I found that I've been telling my single and married friends about this book a lot while I've been reading it. I'll probably read it again in the future. I recommend it.
    • 4/5
      A very sweet book that made me think about what I bring to and look for in a relationship. While some of it was a bit saccharine, I did truly appreciate the life and love advice of the older generation. I did appreciate that the book wasn't all unicorns and sparkles and that some of the stories, and advice, did talk about the darker aspects of a relationship (from both perspectives). It's a book that I would pick up again to remind me how to have a fulfilling and loving relationship, and how to navigate it.
    • 5/5
      What a great book with love advice! There's a lot of books out there but these are real interviews with real people - some unusual advice, and also some stuff you know already but should listen to!
    • 4/5
      I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and wondered how much I missed from never having these kinds of conversations with my grandmother and grandfather (both married multiple times). I can only imagine that much of what they would have told me about marriage as a commitment and a job would have been found within these pages.Pillemer does a fabulous job of organizing the information into key components, making the true value of the words of these elders easy to grasp and hold on to. Much as the theory of the [Five Love Languages] goes beyond any one spiritual belief, the concepts found within this book all relate to far more than just the elderly. If we had more of a community of generations today, I wonder if we would be able to forgo much of the pain associated with split families. Perhaps paying attention to the lessons that have already been learned could do some good for those of us who have not yet had the experiences of the peaks and valleys of such long term relationships.
    • 4/5
      I wasn't sure this book would apply to me since I've been married for 10 years, but I gleaned a lot of good advice and knowledge from the seniors interviewed.
    • 4/5
      I wouldn't have picked this up myself unless I got it as a LibraryThing reviewer, but I'm glad I did! Dr. Pillmer interviewed hundreds of people who had been married to glean their advice and commonalities about what makes marriage work....and what causes problems in marriages. As a middle-aged woman considering marriage for the second time (I was widowed 18 years ago), this book is an excellent reminder about the big commitment that makes a good marriage. I will pass this along to my boyfriend to read, too.
    • 3/5
      "Respect means freedom, not control: I give you the right to be yourself.” ~ eighty-eight-year-old Eula Zimmerman 30 Lessons for Loving is loaded with advice garnered from surveying approximately seven hundred adults age sixty-five and over.The Marriage Advice Project is a national interview survey. The questions asked were a series of prompts, asking individuals to share love and marriage advice for young people, focusing on topics such as: choosing a mate, dealing with stressors, avoiding break-ups, the role of intimacy, and core values and principles for marriage.It’s interesting to read about the frustrations and satisfaction these individuals’ have experienced throughout their lives. What better way to educate young couples on such things than to go to the sources with experience?As someone who has been happily married for three decades, I relate to these individuals’ familiarity and knowledge of marriage, family, and love. Life experience carries an obligation to share both failures and achievements with anyone willing to listen and learn from them.This book is a collection of thirty lessons, divided into five chapters: Lessons for Finding a Mate, Communication and Conflict, Getting Over the Hard Parts, Keeping the Spark Alive, and Thinking Like an Expert About Love and Marriage. There is also an Appendix, explaining how this study was conducted.One of the simplest and dearest pieces of advice is found in the chapter on Communication. The lesson titled, Mind Your Manners, shares the importance of how married couples treat one another. When people disagree in the workplace they rarely raise their voices, storm off, call each other names and such, so there’s no call for couples doing so in their relationships.I especially liked a particular man’s take on this. Seventy-five-year-old Tony Matthews states:It’s all about demonstrating love and having mutual respect. I think as people are around the same person for a long time, they forget to be polite and just say please and thank you, or offer one another a hand. Simple things that can mean a lot. I know of so many couples where one person becomes grouchy because things aren’t exactly right. I think it’s a matter of not forgetting those simple things that make up politeness.Cover: Just okayTitle: Like itPublisher: Hudson Street PressPages: 304Pace: SteadyFirst lines (Chapter one): My advice? Be extremely careful about who you marry. The most important thing is to pick someone who is a good candidate for marriage. You can’t make something out of nothing. When you’re young it’s easy to be bowled over by how someone looks. But that isn’t enough.Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book from the LibraryThing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
    • 4/5
      The author spent a lot of time interviewing seniors, which he refers to as experts, on various aspects of marriage. While this could be referred to as a qualitative study, it offers expert advice to those considering marriage or the newly married. At age 65 with 46 years of successful marriage (and still counting) and either learned a few new things or could confirm his findings! It does tend to be a bit wordy for the targeted audience of young adults which is the only reason I gave it four stars.