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    My Absolute Darling
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    My Absolute Darling
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    My Absolute Darling
    Audiobook15 hours

    My Absolute Darling

    Written by Gabriel Tallent

    Narrated by Alex McKenna

    4/5

    ()

    Unavailable in your country

    Unavailable in your country

    About this audiobook

    A TIMES BOOK OF THE YEAR • A GUARDIAN BOOK OF THE YEAR • A METRO BOOK OF THE YEAR

    ‘The year’s must read novel’ The Times

    ‘One of the most important books you’ll pick up this decade’ Harper’s Bazaar

    ‘An outstanding book that could be this year’s A Little Life’ Guardian

    ‘You think you’re invincible. You think you won’t ever miss. We need to put the fear on you. You need to surrender yourself to death before you ever begin, and accept your life as a state of grace, and then and only then will you be good enough.’

    At 14, Turtle Alveston knows the use of every gun on her wall;
    That chaos is coming and only the strong will survive it;
    That her daddy loves her more than anything else in this world.
    And he’ll do whatever it takes to keep her with him.

    She doesn’t know why she feels so different from the other girls at school;
    Why the line between love and pain can be so hard to see;
    Why making a friend may be the bravest and most terrifying thing she has ever done
    And what her daddy will do when he finds out …

    Sometimes strength is not the same as courage.
    Sometimes leaving is not the only way to escape.
    Sometimes surviving isn't enough.

    ‘This book has challenged me like no other. It’s a masterpiece. A work of art on a page. I guarantee this book will take your breath away’ Joanna Cannon, author of The Trouble with Goats and Sheep

    ‘Brutal yet beautiful, My Absolute Darling has floored me. Dear Turtle, a heroine amidst the horror. Exceptional, unflinching storytelling’ Ali Land‏, author of Good Me Bad Me

    ‘An incandescent novel with an extraordinary, unforgettable heroine, both deeply contemplative and utterly thrilling’ Observer – Thriller of the month

    ‘There are echoes of Ma’s bravery in Emma Donoghue’s Room, or the resilience of Cormac McCarthy’s protagonists as they struggle to stay alive. Tallent’s world is shocking in the truest sense of the word’ Irish Times

    ‘An utterly fantastic read. Every page is brimming with energy. And Turtle Alveston is as enthralling a character as I’ve encountered in a good long while’ Kevin Powers, author of The Yellow Birds

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperCollins Publishers
    Release dateAug 29, 2017
    ISBN9780008185251
    Unavailable
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    Reviews for My Absolute Darling

    4/5

    367 ratings48 reviews

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    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 1/5
      This book made me so uncomfortable so quickly that I had to stop reading it, which I never do. I'm all for books getting you out of your comfort zone but this read like "men writing women" and the graphic incest scenes felt like gratuitous trauma porn.
    • 2/5
      Too verbose for my liking. I’m not sure how I survived till the end. So many times I almost gave up. I didn’t like any of the characters. This book is about incest and sexual abuse so be aware if you have triggers.
    • 2/5
      I'm being generous here. I couldn't get past all the incest and sexual abuse of children. The main character believed she deserved to be abused and seemed to enjoy it? Give me a break. The author is good writer and I hope his next books aren't so dark. The ending was just too unbelievable.
    • 5/5
      Powerful, moving, enough to make you cringe , rage, cry and hope. Fantastic but it will knock you off your seat.
      What a book!!!!
    • 1/5
      Saw the positive reviews about this book... but it was torture all the way through. The most intense abuse, rape, emotional abuse, ... and yet, it needed an editor as it dragged on and on at times. I kept reading, wanting some sort of positive resolution... but it was not worth it. Hours spent with something I wish I'd never read.
    • 1/5
      This book made me so uncomfortable so quickly that I had to stop reading it, which I never do. I'm all for books getting you out of your comfort zone but this read like "men writing women" and the graphic incest scenes felt like gratuitous trauma porn.
    • 4/5
      Disturbing story, well told. Some beautiful writing. A little too much description for my taste.
    • 1/5
      It seems there's no middle ground on this book. Reviews are either glowing or very negative. I'm on the negative end of the spectrum. I kept reading simply because I thought there had to be something to the positive reviews. For me, there wasn't. This terribly violent, misogynistic, repellent story of a young woman living through terrible abuse/incest/violence doesn't have many redeeming qualities. There are time when the writing borders on brilliant and beautiful but those are far outweighed by the descriptions of abuse, guns, violence, and incest. I'm sorry but what 14 year old girl describes herself as having an "engorged pussy" after a night of sex with her father? I never felt like I was in the story or in Turtle's head which is probably why I had little empathy for her (and I really wanted to). The author's descriptions were downright creepy as he romanticized and sexualized Turtle's situation. Much of the back story (what happened to her mother, why did her father end up in the woods, etc.) were never explored. Maybe if they had been I would have had some empathy for her. I raced through the last two hundred pages in the vain hope that something would turn the story around for me - it never did.
      So if you're thinking of quitting, if the story doesn't grab you upfront, I'd recommend stopping. It wasn't worth my time.
    • 3/5
      This book is sooooooo problematic but also compulsively readable...most of the time.
      There are characters in this book that I feel like I know - that seem like constructs from my own life, but others, like Turtle herself, that seem like a product of a hyperactive male imagination.
      While I would agree with Roxanne Gray's review (as hasty and all over the place as it was), I do feel like many critics are missing the mark when they critique Tallent's description of the family's relationship with guns - ya'll haven't been around rural northern Cali/southern Oregon. or rural florida...I know those people and Tallent's description is on point. It is an obsessive love, similar to Turtle's feelings towards her.
      Anyway. I'm glad I read it and I'm glad I let myself skip through some sections.
    • 5/5
      A dark but inspiring tale of a young girl's search for a real life.
    • 5/5
      adult fiction (drama/suspense). Brutal and intense, not for the faint-hearted (you may want to skip certain passages), but just as immersive and engrossing as the reviews indicate.
    • 4/5
      What a read! This is an edge of your seat, stay up half the night, can't put it down debut novel! Turtle, the protagonist, is a 14 year old living with a deranged, abusive father in the forest of the northern California coastal region. Martin, the father, is raising his daughter to survive the apocalypse he sees coming, yet the apocalypse is his own behavior. The author juxtaposed the harsh ugliness of Turtle's life of survivalist, weapons trained, agony with vivid, lush prose describing nature's forest life cycle and power. How will nature and the unnatural resolve? You will have to read the book. Themes included sexual & physical abuse, the undaunted love of a child for its parent, and above all, hope and the value of never giving up on a wounded child! I must say that the ending was well done. Nothing sappy or trite, but the continuing struggle of trying to force nature to behave according to expectations and nature's perpetual ability to proceed on its own terms. Great read!
    • 3/5
      Well written.
    • 5/5
      This is a difficult book. But like difficult people, difficult books are often incredibly rewarding to read. And this was. It was in turn, horrifying, hopeful, disgusting and yet beautiful. Going along with Turtle on her journey to com e into her own as she breaks free from her abusive father...

      It wasn't a happy story, but it was amazingly done. Honest, raw, gritty.
    • 4/5
      I have been reading about this book since before it was even published, and every single review warns potential readers that it is a DIFFICULT read. However, it also assures readers that it is worth the emotional battle. I wholeheartedly agree on both counts. Turtle Alveston is the toughest protagonist I think I've ever read. Her father keeps her imprisoned in a life of alienation, ensuring that he is her entire world. But he is not the loving, nuturing protector that she has been raised to love. He is abusive and dangerous, and her efforts to escape their life together may cost her every part of herself.
    • 5/5
      This is one of the best written books I have ever read. Cannot wait for the author's next book.I read this book when it first came out. I have never written a review because there just aren't words enough or stars enough to express how many levels this book excels in. I have never before read a book where some of the actions of characters made me want to scream out loud in hatred while at the same time, cry at the beauty of how the passage is written.I hesitated to pass it along because I was afraid someone would not see what I saw in this book. But everyone I've spoken to does see it. This time was a re-reading and I mostly skimmed as I still remember it from when I first read it .Please read this book. It will not leave you.
    • 5/5
      I purchased this book from Half Priced Books to read with my bestie @mycornerforbooksand. All opinions are my own. ?????My Absolute Darling by Gabriel Tallent. There are absolutely no words to describe how this book was written. This story, these people, the emotions, the hope, the failures all written intricately to keep you moving through all 417 pages hoping for what's next. Julia lives a rugged life of survival in the backwoods of Buckhorn Bay. Her father is an end of the world survivalist that preaches protection and guns and survival like no one can even imagine. The lessons he bestows upon Julia are harsh the guns, the ammo, the trauma are all abusive and when Julia (Turtle) realizes life can't go on like this she has to make choices that will effect everyone she has ever come in contact with. In the end survival is your only choice but how you survive is your choice and your choice alone and something that only you can learn to live with. Review also posted on Instagram @borenbooks, Library Thing, Amazon, Goodreads/StacieBoren, Twitter @jason_stacie and my blog at readsbystacie.com
    • 3/5
      There are books that make you love them from the first page. This one was not one of those!
      There were millions of times when I wanted to give it up and put this book down - I found it extremely hard to keep going, but I somehow finished it.

      The story itself is so twisted, it's just unbelievable. It is one of the most twisted plots I've ever read in my life. And there were parts I loved, but there were also parts I hated.

      The thing I loved the most was the adventures Turtle had with Jacob.
      The thing I hated the most.... - Where do I start?
      The relationship between Turtle and her father, the unrealistic characters description, the unreliable situations they find themselves into, the unreal thoughts that a 14-year-old girl might have, the swearing throughout the book.

      I have never had such a feeling towards a book, and as much as I don't like it - it bothers me. It bothers me of what could have happened, what could be different, why this and why that...

      It is definitely worth reading it, but only for those that can cope with it. I am not sure if I can...
    • 2/5
      Compelling writing and storytelling but ultimately decided I did not like the book because it was too much like violence porn.
    • 4/5
      Kudos to Tallent for tackling the toughest of tough topics. There were parts of the story, not related to that tough topic btw, that I skimmed. I have never in my life read so much about the flora and fauna of a particular state. There were also parts that went into way too much detail with regard to where "Turtle" was walking, or how she was maneuvering through an area, or how she cleaned her guns...i.e. repetitive or just plain hard to follow and I soon realized none of that mattered much to the meat of the story; it was just fluff. (my opinion) And then there were the friends she met up with, Brett and Jacob - their conversation got on my last nerve. If I'd heard "dude," one more time...even Turtle got tired of them. (read page 218)

      What WAS superb was the character development and witnessing Turtle's growth and change, how she managed to begin to analyze her situation and adopt to her new way of thinking about her father, who was a true psycho creep in need of more help than her. The part with Cayenne was a surprise and showed Turtle was empathetic, which I'd been wondering about. There's a situation with the finger - um, yeah, I thought we could've left that out and still had plenty to wrangle with regard to that whole situation.

      I'm not sure I cared for the ending, but maybe it was the only way to end things. It was odd in some ways, yet, I wasn't dissatisfied.
    • 5/5
      Turtle Alveston may well go down as one of literature's great heroes after this emotionally taxing, and relentless debut. I don't think there was a page here that wasn't unexpected or thrilling and the writing is divine. But, as terrific as Turtle is, her father, Martin Alveston, is surely this novel's most extraordinary creation - a grotesque, complex, evil villain of genuine menace, even when off-screen. He is both wholly believable and worryingly plausible. I couldn't get the voice of S-Town's John B. McLemore out of my head every time Martin delivered one of his merciless monologues on the state of the world. A disturbing read, for sure, but undeniably impressive and, perhaps, the first real answer to the question, "I loved A Little Life, what else ya got?". Stunning.
    • 4/5
      A powerful, disturbing novel.
    • 5/5
      This book lived up to its description as having "striking language, in a fierce natural setting". This language envelopes you and brings to life the difficulties of Turtle, the enduring strong young female main character in this book. The action is heart stopping and you take this journey with Turtle hoping for the same relief she is hoping for yet doubting it the same way she doubts it. Don't let the difficult life and relationships Turtle experiences dissuade you from taking this journey with her. The characters are interesting and action is intriguing.
    • 3/5
      The language is beautiful, but also.. holy description. If you cut one purely descriptive sentence from each paragraph, you could shave 50 pages off this book. Tallent is clearly well acquainted with the nature he describes, and in some parts the sense of place is strong, but it mostly seems decorative and unnecessary.

      Turtle is an interesting character but not an entirely believable one, and the narrative pacing here works well enough that I kept reading but it feels a bit like several smaller narratives strung together. Overall I liked this, but not to the degree of the hype.
    • 5/5
      This book has been termed a masterpiece and it certainly is. The book, its language, its story are as lush, beautiful, and menacing as the world Turtle inhabits in Northern California. My Absolute Darling is at times so beautiful you reread paragraphs to savor the beauty of the language and the pictures it evokes in your mind. And then the horror presents itself and you cringe, want to put it down, but like Turtle you continue on, you need to continue on.

      Yes it is a very difficult book to read, but 14 year old Turtle has so much to show us, to teach us, to make us feel, question and understand.
    • 1/5
      Saw the positive reviews about this book... but it was torture all the way through. The most intense abuse, rape, emotional abuse, ... and yet, it needed an editor as it dragged on and on at times. I kept reading, wanting some sort of positive resolution... but it was not worth it. Hours spent with something I wish I'd never read.
    • 3/5
      This novel is a most unsettling account of the coming-of-age of Turtle Alveston as she struggles with horrifying abuse from her monstrous father, Martin. Tallent repeatedly employs counterpoint and contrast in his narrative to provide respite from shock and revulsion, but this approach also can lead to confusion. The most striking example of the former is the novel’s structure, which swings between scenes of almost unimaginable horror to loving descriptions of the natural beauty of the California coast around Mendocino. By contrast, several other elements often seem ironic and confusing: familial love and devotion alongside intense hatred; the frustrating failure of nurturing institutions and people to provide safety and sustainability to a child; Turtle’s inability to save herself despite having consummate survival skills; and Martin’s providing Turtle with the precise tools she would need to bring about his destruction.Tallent’s principal theme is of course child abuse. This is not the neglect kind, but instead is intentional and studied. Martin adheres to an extreme version of survivalism. Under the pretext of preparing Turtle for the worst, he exposes her to both psychological and physical degradations all the way from constantly referring to her as a kind of dog food (i.e., “kibble”) to threatening to kill her if she ever leaves him. These examples are subtle, however, compared to other scenes of outright torture, incest, and rape.Thus, it is not surprising that Turtle is a deeply damaged 14-year-old. She is self-loathing, isolated, and cruel to her peers. Most notably, she is deeply conflicted about her father. “There is so much to him, so much depth, and she wants that again, the heft and the weight of him, and everything he takes from her.” “You’d put up with a lot. Just for that attention.” “Sometimes he’s not the person he wants to be. But he loves me more than anybody else has ever been loved. I think that counts for everything.” Such expressions of denial are similar to the intense co-dependency often expressed by abused but enabling spouses.Two other themes in the novel are related to each other: empathy and guns. Martin is unable to feel empathy. He describes his muddled philosophy as follows: “But what really happens, when you are face-to-face with someone in pain, what really happens is that the gulf between you and them is made apparent. Their pain is utterly inaccessible to you. It might as well be a pantomime.” Moreover, only with the addition of the vulnerable young girl, Cayenne, to the family mix does Turtle begin to display any rudimentary empathetic feelings. These feelings ultimately precipitate the extremely violent climax to the book.Guns are seen as a way to provide protection from and control of other people while keeping them at a distance. Martin feels the need to carry a pistol to a parent-teacher conference. Is this because he feels threatened by Turtle’s teacher or the need to control her? The most terrifying gun episode in the novel serves to demonstrate both Martin’s need to control Turtle and his lack of empathy toward Cayenne. He forces Turtle into target practice that results in injury to the trusting Cayenne. He then follows that up with some pretty horrifying kitchen surgery, all the while belittling the suffering Cayenne. The dubious notion that more guns make us safer also resonates well with the current gun control debate in America.Although ambitious and often successful, this is a flawed novel. The plot is just a series of loosely connected vignettes where Tallent depicts Turtle as a kind of action hero with superpowers like marksmanship, swimming, and special survival skills. As such, her character often strains credulity. Her humanity also is difficult to appreciate because Tallent does not give her much of an inner life. On the other hand, one does not have any difficulty understanding Martin. He is a cartoonishly monstrous villain. As such, his ultimate fate in the novel is not hard to predict. Jacob and Brett, the high schoolers, who serve to show Turtle what she is missing in life are overwritten. Most of their dialogue grates since it seems well beyond what one would expect from teenage boys. While the scenes depicting the natural beauty of the California coast are welcome breaks from the horror of Turtle’s home life, they also seem to strain for too much lyricism.
    • 5/5
      -- That Tallent, a young man, can maintain voice of female protagonist Turtle for 400 plus pages is absolutely amazing. Turtle & her father speak & think in a unique language. Novel contains violence & social isolation. Author's knowledge of weapons is vast, if accurate. Although disturbing, similar stories appear in the news occasionally. --
    • 1/5
      I don't even know what I just read. I'm speechless that this book is even a contender for anything...
    • 4/5
      😳😳😳 this was my face through this entire book. I’m not sure how to process everything I just read. It reminded me so much of All the Ugly and Wonderful Things where I wanted to put it down but couldn’t. This one took a bit to get into though but once it got going... bam💥. Several trigger warnings so it won’t be for everyone. 4 🌟