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    Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
    Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
    Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
    Audiobook8 hours

    Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse

    Written by Dana Morningstar

    Narrated by Dana Morningstar

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    About this audiobook

    The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt." These three emotions are often at the core of manipulation, and are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling their targets. 


    However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. 


    There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well, and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going. 


    The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay "stuck" in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel that they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault. 


    When a person is being manipulated they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disasterous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazymaking, people pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries. 


    What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice--especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support group members, or a therapist. 


    Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is: 


    "Who are you to judge?" "No one is perfect." "You need to forgive them." "She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know." "Commitment is forever." 


    What can be so crazymaking for targets is that they are often getting two very different messages. On one hand, they are told that they need to work towards a solution, and on the other, they are told that need to leave a partner who lies, cheats, steals, hits, yells, or belittles them. 


    This book compares and contrasts of these concepts so that targets of any type of manipulation and abuse can make a more empowered decision. 


    Some of the concepts covered are: 


    Who are You to Judge vs. Being Discerning

    No One is Perfect vs. Tolerating Abuse

    You Need to Forgive Them vs. Keeping Yourself Safe

    A Parent vs. A Predator

    Commitment vs. Codependency

    Self-love vs. Selfishness

    A Person Acting the Part vs. A Person Actually Changing

    Gut Instincts vs. Hypervigilance

    A Friend vs. Someone Being Friendly

    Caring vs. Caretaking

    Being in Love With Them vs. Being in Love With Who They Pretended to Be

    Workable Behavior vs. Deal Breakers

    Acceptance vs. Allowance

    Going Through So Much Together vs. Being Put Through So Much By Them

    Sincerity vs. Intensity

    Healthy Bonding vs. Trauma Bonding

    Insincere Remorse vs. Sincere Remorse

    Reacting vs. Responding


    ...and many more.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMorningstar Media
    Release dateFeb 24, 2019
    ISBN9781987125993

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    Reviews for Out of the Fog

    5/5

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    • 5/5
      I wanted to understand why I’m always struggling with relationships and repeating the same mistakes... we’ll it looks like I build codependency relationships and have some abusive atitudes that I learned as normal which it’s now very clear they are not.
      Very revealing book with great real life stories to enrich the narrative.

      2 people found this helpful

    • 4/5
      Very informative and thorough reading on Narcissistic abuse. Lots of great information with the author’s personal experience intertwined with the research on toxic relationships of any kind. The one drawback is the bias of the writer is very black and white on dealing with toxic people and does not mention that the diagnosis of Narcissism and any personality type is on a scale. It’s best to take the advice in the book at face value because of this, and see it as an autobiographical and well researched read.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      This was actually the most helpful text I’ve found for understanding the type of relationships I adjusted to and the continuing confusion that happened from being in them. Author does a great job with describing what abuse is and what it does to a person. Truly recommend if you have or presently are questioning if a relationship or person might be abusing you.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      I loved this book! It helped me so much. To be honest it helped me better than therapy. I am going to buy it in print and add it to my collection of favorites.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Really knows what she is talking about and communicates her awareness in accessible, down-to-earth manner that replaces clinical jargon with raw emotion and useful insight.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      She was thorough and I was shocked to see my 22 years of marriage were a slow and steady climb to his ultimate and overarching control. I have no property or bills in my name, no true idea of finances no autonomy and three kids…nothing I’ve done ever helped to heal or bring us together all I did was cozy into his perfect controlled wife and now he is full on verbally emotionally and financially abusive. But I’m waking up and this book was in all way spot on. I kept yelling at the sky when she’d say another thing I’d passed off or made excuses for. I have a lot of work to do to heal and her book only furthered my resolve to get free.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      This is a very informative book. At last, I have learnt a lot and I must say I am a victim of Narcissistic abuse relationship/manipulationship and on the journey to recover from it though it will take some time.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Author explain a lot....Like why healing and emotional validation of trauma from narcissistic abuse and other kind of abuse- such as Spiritual abuse often is minimized-questioned- or ends up w false diagnoses and worse problem bcs well intended bad advice bcs little or no knowledge or indepth understanding when seek healing...

      I see clearly pattern of stuck of selftrust seek it outside of self;
      big part of longterm stuck is wasted time , energy,money in therapy is lack adjust ones own voice- instead listen to others...Selftrust and discernment cant be found in rely on others perception bcs trust and inner freedom -selfacceptance is let go being controlled by others power and approval...Morningstar mean that the dysfunctional concept of "commitment" is connected to "well intended bad advice"- How get out of "the fog"- fear, obligation and guilt - is where Spiritual abuse- concept of reconcilation ,divorce and one sided relationship/ manipulationship often is resistance of reality. And many narcissists seek people not believe in divorce so they can trap them into a chronic neglect...Author mean that the supportsystem in society/therapist/ churchcouncel etc often dont know difference between "individual problems" such as narcissism- but a person who sit w a therapist who believe the narcissistic abuse is a " relationship problem" can end up in more problems.... No person invest in therapy can solve any narcissistic abuse pretend its something else ...Whats safe and sane is real relationships accept and respect individuality, sense of self, reality, each persons feelings, needs, wants is equally important. Boundaries, honesty and reality create trust. Not concepts erode accept reality...
    • 5/5
      An amazing audio book. I wish 8 had had access to this year's ago. Lots of real life example and practical advice.
    • 5/5
      I wasn’t sure this book was for me since the primary narcissistic abuser in my life was my primary caregiver, and the abuse was mainly emotional. Even though many of the stories in this book are about an abusive partner/spouse, I found it very helpful and comforting. Highly recommended for anyone recovering from gaslighting family systems.
    • 5/5
      This book is a great intermediate depth look into folks with problematic and narcissistic behavior. It helped me along my journey greatly.
    • 5/5
      I find so many answers:) this book proved me I’m not crazy!
    • 5/5
      Illuminating and helpful, I would recommend to anyone struggling with abuse
    • 5/5
      Recommended booking for people on their healing journey. Definitely will listen again in the future.
    • 5/5
      For anyone who has suffered from the emotional & psychological trauma that abuse from a narcissist or someone with NPD causes, whether that person was a parent, romantic partner(s) or close friend this book is essential reading. It has restored my hope.
    • 5/5
      Excellent book
      Definitely recommend this book for that has helped me a lot in understanding things
    • 5/5
      Found it very easy to understand and it just made perfect sense
    • 5/5
      Excellent book . Very good clarifying strategies to set up the patient's mind.
    • 5/5
      On the subject of narcissistic abuse, I have not found a book that articulated or thoroughly illuminates the scope and recovery from this form of abuse. It is a must read!

      5 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      I can't say enough good things about this book, I feel so validated in my feelings and have so much clarity. I will read this over again as I begin to heal, Thank you so much ♥️

      3 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      One of the most comprehensive books I have read which will educate the reader as well as bring clarification to many things.
      Highly recommended

      3 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Excellent information and very educational 5 stars must read for all women

      2 people found this helpful