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C. M. Robitaille
Born and raised in Vermont within a large family, i found myself struggling through out most of my life with some sort of nervousness. Even though i had escaped the courageous struggle of being bor...view moreBorn and raised in Vermont within a large family, i found myself struggling through out most of my life with some sort of nervousness. Even though i had escaped the courageous struggle of being born into an alcoholic family, i still felt my life was not complete. I had lived with the disease and disloyalty of alcoholics long enough to create and mold my life for me, bringing me back to Vermont and falling in love with the same disloyalty and the disease. It took the tragic suicide death of my son at a young age of fifteen before i realized just how trapped and addicted i was to this disease. For the past seventeen years i have survived what i believe to be the most horrific verbal and mental abuse i have encountered since childhood, with none of this being possible with out the help of Alanon and counseling.
Several days out of a week i would feel like the only sane thing i did was go to work. As a beautician, i would loose all my fears and anxieties when i had a client in my chair. Their stories were always different and took me away from my own fears, such as the D.S. books i would read. As luck would have it, i would always have to return home at the end of my working day. Some where in the past seventeen years the fears and anxieties that i was once able to conceal were now becoming stronger then i and began to control me. I found myself no longer able to hide in a clients story or a book. Like the alcoholics in my life, i too was now in a situation where i had no control over my own life until the day i finally told myself,
" you are in control". Finally breaking free, i now live in confidence but i struggle everyday in recovery to stay clean of the abuse and the mental strain it takes to keep me there.view less