Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Loving from the Outside In, Mourning from the Inside Out
    Loving from the Outside In, Mourning from the Inside Out
    Loving from the Outside In, Mourning from the Inside Out
    Ebook65 pages41 minutes

    Loving from the Outside In, Mourning from the Inside Out

    By Alan D. Wolfelt

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Recognizing how the need to grieve is anchored in one's capacity to care for someone, this calming guide contends that the act of mourning is healthy—and necessary—following a life-changing loss. The very foundation of attachment is reflected upon, illustrating devotion as both the primary cause of grief and a crucial source of emotional recovery. Exploring the essential principles of love as well as the reasons behind it, this heartfelt handbook makes it possible to embrace a trying but vital process.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherIndependent Publishers Group
    Release dateApr 1, 2012
    ISBN9781617221842
    Loving from the Outside In, Mourning from the Inside Out

    Read more from Alan D. Wolfelt

    Related to Loving from the Outside In, Mourning from the Inside Out

    Related ebooks

    Self-Improvement For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Forgiveness Therapy

      May 22, 2022

      Though forgiveness therapy is a formal clinical process, its description of moving from uncovering the negative emotional impact of the injury to ultimately seeing the offender as a whole person is a proven road map to emotional healing. Forgiveness

      1 min read

    • Article

      Grief Etiquette

      Jun 18, 2021

      Grief Etiquette
      3 min read

    • Article

      Welcome…

      Nov 22, 2022

      So, what are you planning? Are you going all out to make up for the past two years? Do you have festivities arranged to keep you rushed off your feet right up until the big day? Have you spent every last penny that’s left in your bank account? That s

      2 min read

    • Article

      The Power Of Forgiveness

      Jul 7, 2023

      The Power Of Forgiveness
      5 min read

    • Article

      Teenager On Board!

      Sep 11, 2020

      Teenager On Board!
      7 min read

    • Article

      When Is It Mental Illness?

      Aug 14, 2020

      When Is It Mental Illness?
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Compassion Cure

      May 20, 2020

      The Compassion Cure
      8 min read

    • Article

      Belonging

      Aug 31, 2018

      Belonging
      3 min read

    • Article

      Ask The Expert

      Jul 3, 2023

      Ask The Expert
      4 min read

    • Article

      How to Be Loving: Letting Go vs. “Cutting Cords”

      Oct 3, 2022

      Estimated reading time: 5 minutes — Best Selfers! To let go? To dissolve attachments? To cut cords or pray for healing? These are all the right questions in terms of how we heal and move on. [Excerpted from How to Be Loving: As Your Heart Is Breakin

      2 min read

    • Article

      True Love Means Loving Yourself

      Sep 26, 2016

      True Love Means Loving Yourself
      3 min read

    • Article

      Heart Open, Love Forward

      Sep 17, 2020

      Heart Open, Love Forward
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Other Kind of Love

      Jan 31, 2018

      The Other Kind of Love
      4 min read

    • Article

      Rooted IN Compassion

      Dec 17, 2019

      Rooted IN Compassion
      7 min read

    • Article

      How To Flourish In Dark Times

      Apr 8, 2021

      How To Flourish In Dark Times
      4 min read

    • Article

      From Blame to Love

      Sep 24, 2019

      From Blame to Love
      4 min read

    • Article

      Transformed By Grief

      Apr 27, 2021

      Transformed By Grief
      3 min read

    • Article

      LIFE AFTER loss

      Sep 11, 2019

      LIFE AFTER loss
      3 min read

    • Article

      LIFE AFTER loss

      Sep 22, 2019

      LIFE AFTER loss
      3 min read

    • Article

      The Other Kind Of Love

      Aug 12, 2020

      The Other Kind Of Love
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Other Kind Of Love

      Aug 12, 2020

      The Other Kind Of Love
      5 min read

    • Article

      Letters To The Editor

      Aug 27, 2021

      Dear readers, we love to hear your thoughts on the stories that we publish, what is going on around the world, and what the Lord has placed on your heart! Email your letter through to editor@joymag.co.za for a chance to be featured – please try to ke

      8 min read

    • Article

      Surviving Storms: A Q&A from the Heart with Mark Nepo

      Sep 5, 2022

      Estimated reading time: 7 minutes — I am excited to share that my new book, Surviving Storms: Finding the Strength to Meet Adversity, will be published this September by St. Martin’s Essentials. It is a book that has taken three years to retrieve an

      5 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Loving from the Outside In, Mourning from the Inside Out

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Loving from the Outside In, Mourning from the Inside Out - Alan D. Wolfelt

      Word

      Introduction

      THE CAPACITY TO

      LOVE REQUIRES THE

      NECCESITY TO MOURN

      "Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving…the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.

      Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking‘

      —Henri J.M. Nouwen

      A very wise person once observed, Love is not an option but a necessity. I couldn’t agree more. We come into the world yearning to give and receive love. Authentic love is God’s greatest gift to us as human beings. Love is the one human experience that invites us to feel beautifully connected and forces us to acknowledge that meaning and purpose are anchored not in isolation and aloneness, but in union and togetherness.

      What higher purpose is there in life but to give and receive love? Love is the essence of a life of abundance and joy. No matter what life brings our way, love is our highest goal, our most passionate quest. Yes, we have a tremendous need for love—love that captures our hearts and nourishes our spirits.

      In fact, our capacity to give and receive love is what ultimately defines us. Nothing we have accomplished in our lifetimes matters as much as the way we have loved one another. Love is a magical energy that is the very anchor, substance, and essence of life.

      This naturally leads me to the theme of this book: the capacity to love requires the necessity to mourn. I write this resource from my unique perspective as a grief counselor and educator. It is an invitation to help you honor both your love and your need to mourn when someone you love dies. No matter the type of relationship—whether the person who died was your parent, lover, spouse, child, or friend—my hope is that this book speaks to your heart and soul. You may also find this book helpful where someone has left your life through divorce or some other form of transition. To honor means to recognize the value of and respect, and both your continued love and your grief need this recognition and attention from you right now.

      You see, love and grief are two sides of the same precious coin. One does not—and cannot—exist without the other. They are the yin and yang of our lives. People sometimes say that grief is the price we pay for the joy of having loved. This also means, of course, that grief is not a universal experience. While I wish it were, sadly it is not. Grief is predicated on our capacity to give and receive love. Some people choose not to love and so never grieve. If we allow ourselves the grace that comes with love, however, we must allow ourselves the grace that is required to mourn.

      The experience of grief is only felt when someone of great value, purpose, and meaning has been a part of your life. To mourn your loss is required if you are to befriend the love you have been granted. To honor your grief is not self-destructive or harmful, it is life-sustaining and life-giving, and it ultimately leads you back to love again. In this way, love is both the cause and the antidote.

      Yes,

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1