150 Things Every Man Should Know

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How to iron a shirt like your mom

Whether you are a fisherman’s wife or a bachelor running late for the office, the art of ironing a shirt is one which, once mastered, never fades, unlike a cheap short-sleever bought on sale. Here’s how to do it the good old-fashioned way.

To ensure the best iron finish, hang the shirt up on a hanger with the top button done up as this replicates the shape of the shirt when you wear it.

The best time to do the ironing is on a Sunday night, and to iron all the shirts for the week in one go. It’ll be faster, as you’ll get on a roll after the first one or two, and you won’t have to do it again for a whole week. Stick on the radio or some football on TV—as usually nothing much is happening on the field, leaving you free to get on with the ironing.

Switch the iron on and allow to warm. If it’s a steam iron, fill the water reservoir first. Most shirts are made of cotton and iron better when slightly damp and at a high heat, so select steam and the highest heat to give a crisper finish. If your shirt is dry, spray with water, roll up and leave to rest for ten minutes or so. If it’s a dark color, iron inside out to save the brightness, and if it is white make sure the iron is clean so you don’t mark the innocent pallor of your shirt. Here’s how to iron out those creases like a pro.

How to down a pint without being sick

Downing a pint in a bar can often lead to all subsequent drinks being bought for you. But get it wrong and you can find yourself covered in vomit and laughed at by strangers on the street. So if you want to take it on don’t try to be a hero.

First of all choose the beer yourself and never agree to down a pint of cider—an amateur downer’s mistake which could prove lethal. Don’t go for something too strong, too cold, or too fizzy and let it settle for a while on the bar. When it’s time, approach your challenge and your pint like a man. Employ a little theatrics, smack your lips and limber up as you get yourself in the zone. Pick up the pint, tip your head back, and slowly but surely take mouthful after mouthful until it’s all down. Don’t be tempted to gulp or hurry—you’ll only panic, stop breathing and choke, death-by-lager style.

Breathe calmly, focus on the task in hand, and block out all distractions, Zen-like. Don’t worry if people tell you to hurry up, just do it in your own time; a pint’s a pint no matter how long it takes to go down. Pub folklore spins yarns of people who can just open their throats and effectively down the pint in one go without swallowing. Desert tribes drink their water like this as swallowing uses up too much energy, but remember, you’re not in a desert tribe now so take it slow and reap the rewards.

How to undo a bra with one hand

Men made walls to keep out armies, women made bras to keep out men. But those walls have been breached and now, with one hand, those bras will be removed.

First off, mid-kiss, slip your left hand under her top and find the back of her bra. Run your fingertips along the strap until you find the 1 1/4–2 in. of rough fabric situated in the middle. This is the clasp you’re going to have to undo; it is made up of hooks and eyelets. Your job is to move the hooks from the left to the right, so slide your middle finger underneath the right side of the clasp, with your nail facing her skin. Next, pulling the strap out ever so slightly—tact is required here, flicking a girl in the back will get you slapped—get your thumb and place it on the other side of the clasp, over, not underneath, the strap. Finally, rub your thumb and middle finger together like you’re clicking your fingers and the clasp should come undone. Take a bow; the bra is defeated. You can now move on to even greater goals, like removing her underwear with your teeth!

How to hold chopsticks like Mr. Miyagi

Man who catch fly with chop stick accomplish anything.—Mr. Miyagi

Customs are strange and wonderful things. In America, it’s considered rude to eat before your host picks up his or her fork at a dinner party. Get your wires, or more specifically chopsticks, crossed in China, however, and you could be giving everyone around the table the sign of death.

The people of Japan, China, Korea, Vietnam, and Taiwan eat using chopsticks; that’s a lot of disappointed people if you always ask for a fork. Joining their ranks is simple-ish.

Pick up one chopstick like a pencil with the broad end resting into the V of skin where your thumb meets your index finger. Drop the narrow end down a finger so that it rests against the side of your end knuckle. It should fit there snugly and firmly. Pick up the second chopstick with your index finger and middle finger using your thumb to hold it in place. Adjust until their ends are touching and even. Do this swiftly and smoothly if you want to look like a real pro. When you start to eat the bottom chopstick should always stay still and the top chopstick should pivot. This is done by slowly moving the knuckle joint at the end of your middle finger; straighten to widen and bend inwards to clamp together. Only move your thumb when you need to realign the chopsticks.

As a beginner, you might find it easier to hold the chopsticks nearer to the middle or closer to the tips. As you grow in confidence however, you should hold them further towards the blunt end as it’s considered polite to keep your hands as far away from the food as possible.

A few more things to consider:

A few cultural chopstick no-nos:

Remember—using chopsticks is like riding a bike. Once you get the hang of it, you never forget. Keep some chopsticks from your next take-away delivery and practice, practice, and practice again in the comfort and privacy of your own home until your chopstick prowess would make Mr. Miyagi proud. And what’s more, you’ll never have to buy a can of fly spray again.

How to shine shoes like an ROTC star

They say you can tell a lot about a man from the state of his shoes. So pay heed. Spitting on a piece of toilet paper and dabbing at the leather like your grandma trying to rid your cheek of ketchup won’t cut it.

You will need:

Step 1.

Spread some newspaper out across the floor or table.

Step 2.

Remove the shoelaces. Use a brush or damp cloth to remove all dirt and dust from the shoe’s surface. If your shoes are slightly damp, let them dry before putting the polish on.

Step 3.

Use the polish brush to apply the wax in small circular movements. Work round the shoe until the polish is spread evenly all over the leather.

Step 4.

Work the wax into the seams with the old toothbrush.

Step 5.

Leave to dry at room temperature for 15 minutes.

Step 6.

Take your horsehair brush and shine away like a madman until you’ve covered the whole shoe. This will remove all excess wax. Spritz the shoe with water from a sprayer once in a while to produce a better shine.

Step 7.

Put about a pea-sized amount of wax or polish directly on to a damp cotton ball. Massage the wax into the leather with small circular movements, paying special attention to the heel and toe. Repeat, using a fresh cotton ball each time, until you’ve got the right amount of shine on your shoe. Don’t stop until you can watch TV in the reflection of the polish on your shoes. This could take up to 15 shines so be patient.

Step 8.

Use a clean cloth, a sock, an old T-shirt, or your girlfriend’s nylon tights—when she’s not wearing them of course—and buff up the shoe vigorously. Thread the shoelaces back through their holes, put the newspaper in the bin, and twinkle toes is ready for anything.

Choosing your polish:

For black shoes, use black polish. Find the correct shade of brown for brown shoes. Keep separate polish brushes for brown and black shoes.

Cream and paste polish—for fine leather. Keeps it flexible and moisturized, allowing it to breathe. Exaggerates color and extends shoe life.

Wax polish—easily covers scuffs and shines the best. Can dry out the leather.

Liquid polish—fast shine but can crack and dry out the leather.

Beeswax—melt in a tablespoon and apply as above. Similar effects to wax polish.

If the wax polish is hard and tough, strike a match and pass it over the wax until it catches alight. Once all the wax is burning place the lid over the tin and snuff out the flames. Remove the lid carefully and once the minuscule mushroom cloud dissipates you’ll be left with a smooth wax ready for application.

Quick tip for shiny shoes in seconds:

If you’re late for a party, peel a banana and dash the inside of the skin over the leather. Remove flecks of banana, tie your shoelaces and shoot out the door…not forgetting to eat the banana on the way.

The perfect shave

Chad Gillette was a funny old sausage. Despite being heralded as a king—of the shaving world at least—Gillette died a discontented and frustrated man.

A staunch socialist, in 1894 he wrote a book entitled The Human Drift which suggested competition was the root of all evil; this from the man who bought out smaller companies so that his would survive. He was a razor-sharp competitor who did not want to compete and in the end, with the Wall Street crash of 1929 and the knowledge that he had become a figurehead of capitalism, it was he who had lost. Here’s a guide to the perfect wet shave.

How to shave:

Advanced tips:

Aftershave tips:

How to slow dance with confidence

As the lights dim and the music slows, unless your name is Patrick Swayze, the girl of your dreams won’t be expecting you to grab her hand, say Nobody puts Baby in a corner, and run onto the dance floor like in Dirty Dancing. However, once you’ve politely asked the question and she’s said yes, taking a girl confidently by the hand and leading her up to dance with open shoulders and a powerful stride will fill her with awe and—hopefully—admiration.

CAUTION: Just be careful not to tread on her toes, glance down in apology and headbutt her in the face. Both amount to assault, which is a criminal offence, not a South American shimmy.

Once on the dance floor, get into position. Standing toe to toe is least complicated but if you’re feeling adventurous place your right foot in-between her feet and encourage her to do the same. Or she might place both her feet inside yours. All of these are fine.

Next, place your right hand on the small of her back, and your left in her right hand at your shoulder height. Your left arm should be bent at the elbow at roughly a 45-degree angle, depending on the height deficit between you and your partner, whose left arm should be placed on your right shoulder. If, at this juncture, your grip keeps coming loose because either you or she has nervous sweaty palms, you can easily adjust to the Junior High dance stance. Lift her arms up so that they droop over your neck at the wrist before placing your hands on her hips—with hips not being a euphemism for bum. That said, God loves a trier.

Slow dancing is an intimate position and can, if the right amount of chafing and rubbing ensues, result in a canoe magically appearing in