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Carpe Jugulum: A Discworld Novel
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Carpe Jugulum: A Discworld Novel
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Carpe Jugulum: A Discworld Novel
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Carpe Jugulum: A Discworld Novel

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

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Another brilliant installment in Terry Pratchett's acclaimed Discworld series, "The novel exudes the curious feel of old-fashioned vampire and Frankenstein legends. . . . Pratchett lampoons everything from Christian superstition to Swiss Army knives here, proving that the fantasy satire of Discworld 'still ate'nt dead.'" — Publishers Weekly

King Verence, in a fit of enlightened democracy and ebullient goodwill, invites Uberwald's undead, the Magpyrs, into Lancre to celebrate the birth of his daughter. But everyone knows you don't invite vampires into your house, even stylish, sophisticated ones with fancy waistcoats — unless you want permanent guests. Once ensconced within the castle, these wine-drinking, garlic-eating, sun-loving modern vampires have no intention of leaving . . . ever. Standing between the Magpyr family and Lancre are a coven of four: Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat, and young Agness. And as the Lancre living are about to discover, there's only one way to fight. Go for the throat, or as the vampyres themselves say . . . Carpe Jugulum!

The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Carpe Jugulum is the sixth in the Witches collection. The Witches includes:

  • Equal Rites
  • Wyrd Sisters
  • Witches Abroad
  • Lords and Ladies
  • Maskerade
  • Carpe Jugulum
LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperCollins
Release dateOct 13, 2009
ISBN9780061807862
Unavailable
Carpe Jugulum: A Discworld Novel
Author

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) was the acclaimed creator of the globally revered Discworld series. In all, he authored more than fifty bestselling books, which have sold more than one hundred million copies worldwide. His novels have been widely adapted for stage and screen, and he was the winner of multiple prizes, including the Carnegie Medal. He was awarded a knighthood by Queen Elizabeth II for his services to literature in 2009, although he always wryly maintained that his greatest service to literature was to avoid writing any.

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Rating: 4.153846153846154 out of 5 stars
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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The Discworld witches vs. vampires.2.5/4 (Okay).It has a great sense of humor, but a mess of a story. There's a central plot point that doesn't make any sense, and a lot of dangling stuff that doesn't connect to anything else.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This is the last Witches novel before the Tiffany Aching ones. And it certainly sets itself up to be granny Weatherwax's final book. But you know that's not how Weatherwaxes do things. So expect twists and fake outs and mind games. And we get to see Granny at her best, even when it seems like everything is going to fail.

    This book is supposedly about what happens when vampires come to Lancre. But there are so many subplots it's hard to fully appreciate every story. There's the vampire one, but even that is muddied by talking both about "modern vampire culture" and the "two mindedness" of Agnes/Perdita. There's the nac mac feegle storyline, which, frankly, could have been left out without too much lost. There was the phoenix storyline, which probably had some sort of allegorical meaning about being undead versus rising from the ashes. But it just kinda came out of no where, and everything was really just solved in the end by tradition and granny. As it should be. All the other things are exciting and colorful, but really it always comes down to that fight at the line between light and dark.

    Some of the most interesting passages were the conversations between Rev Oats and the witches. Pratchett's commentary on modern Christianity and beliefs is really insightful. Again, the Omnian subplot was not integral, but I guess there was just so much in the book you're going to like some parts and find some parts extraneous.

    Overall, there were many threads throughout the book, and each of them could have held a whole novel. As it stands, it manages to do lots of things just okay, but none of them really well.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    One of my very favourite Discworld novels. I love the ones about the witches - and this one has vampyres as well! Granny Weatherwax at her finest.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    "Carpe Jugulum," read Agnes aloud. "That's...well, Carpe Diem is 'Seize the Day,' so this means-""'Go for the Throat,'" said Nanny.Carpe Jubulum is the 6th and final book in the Witches sub-series and the 23rd Discworld novel in publishing order. It's witches verses vampires! King Verence and Queen Magrat of Lancre have had their first child, a daughter, and have invited everyone to the naming ceremony. Unfortunately this includes the Duke and Duchess de Magpyr, a family of vampires from Uberwald. Everyone who knows anything about vampires knows you don't invite them in unless you want a permanent guest. And these sunlight-loving, garlic-eating, progressive vampires are making themselves at home in the castle. It's up to the witches and an Omnian priest to save the kingdom.It never ceases to amaze me how Pratchett can weave such a fun satire and yet still touch on deeper notes. On the surface we're given a satire about pre-Twilight vampire mythology. It does this well, especially with Alucard Dracula's story, and pokes a lot of fun at classic vampire lore. Going a little bit deeper, he also touches on rural vs modern life as well as religion, faith and morality. The Kingdom of Lancre is Pratchett's version of an idyllic rural kingdom turned sideways, where the King rules by not asking anyone to do things they weren't going to do anyway and all the servants are from the Ogg family, mostly Sean Ogg. We are also treated to an introduction of the Nac Mac Feegle, who feature later on in the Tiffany Aching books.It was interesting to see ties back to Small Gods in the form of the Omnian priest Mighty Oaks. Mighty Oaks is in well over his head and yet comes through like a champ. Oaks and Granny Weatherwax have some interesting discussions around faith and morality, which I found unexpected and enjoyable. It's moments like this that lift the book above just being a simple satire.Overall it's another great entry to the series. For new Discworld readers I would not start with this book as it relies heavily on you knowing the characters prior to this installment.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Way boring.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    So much fun!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Reasonable fun, nothing over the top. Part of the witches set in the disc world novels. As ever, the characters are larger than life, more extreme. I got bored a little with the vampire storyline, and the obligatory farce was a bit obligatory in places, but it did just fine as a book to read when fluffy and humorous waas what I was after
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    One of the best discworld novels. It uses it setting to great effect to look at how we view ourselves and others and how different belief systems can live together.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is one of the better Discworld books in the last bunch I've read (going in publication order). It has a fairly tight plot without a lot of meandering tendrils of parody and doesn't spend too much time trying to get everyone in the right place. The central theme is "vampires", so while there is a lot of material to explore and poke fun at, it's all fairly compact (compared to "Australia" in The Last Continent, which I read immediately prior to Carpe Jugulum), and Uberwald is conveniently close to Lancre. In featuring the witches and the Omnian Reverend Mightily Oats, it also focuses on two of the things I find that Pratchett does best - examinations of storytelling and belief and how the stories we tell to and about ourselves reverbate through, basically, everything.As always, there's a big finale scene that gets a bit wooly, but the story pacing doesn't change appreciably in the approach, the way it does in most of the previous books. It got difficult to keep a mental map of everything going on as the characters split apart, but mostly I found that it worked.This is the first Discworld book in a long while that I read avidly from the start and didn't put off reading. I think the last one I was so interested in was Hogfather, or maybe Small Gods.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A bit of a slow start (as with most Witches novels), but just pulls you in as you continue. All the Vampire clichés are in there, but are immediately tackled by Pratchett's parody. Great read.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    A vampire book second only to Dracula in my opinion. What I enjoy about these books, is that along with a great and fun story, there are depths of thought to be plumbed. I enjoyed the contrast between religion and faith and love vs. works
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Pratchett’s sixth book about the witches of Lancre. The king invites vampires to attend his daughter’s naming and it all goes wrong (but not in quite the way the vampires had ultimately intended).At times, I wasn’t sure about this book -- I can be uncomfortable with, and sometimes even prefer to avoid, both vampires and satire of religion, depending on how it’s all handled. But, a few small details and moments aside, I enjoyed this. After Magrat’s absence in Maskerade -- and the way her story had ended in Lords and Ladies -- I was glad she got to renegotiate her position as one of Lancre’s witches.I would happily keep reading more of the same, but this is the end of the line. (I have put a hold on Mort.) “Granny was certainly not telling the truth,” said Agnes. “Of course she wasn’t, she never does,” said Magrat. “She expects you to work it out for yourself.”
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Granny Weatherwax and her coven vs. an invading group of vampires. Spoiler: Granny wins.Not the strongest Discworld book so far, but still fairly decent. Granny is, as always, a hoot.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    It’s done; I’ve read the whole thing. Which really isn’t saying much because at only a little over 400 pages it’s not like it’s a door stop. But, and I say this as one who thoroughly enjoys Pratchett, reading the discworld books is hard work for me. I love the characters, and I laugh out loud at the jokes, and I welcome the footnotes, but something about Pratchett’s narrative style doesn’t flow effortlessly for me, and because of that I’m always looking at them and thinking up excuses to put off reading them.This was the case with Carpe Jugulum although once Granny Weatherwax finally got involved, the story started moving along enough for me to ignore the effort.On the surface, the story is a hilarious one that follows the efforts of Count Magpye and his family to overcome the stereotypes of being vampires, or vampyres, as they prefer. It’s a cautionary tale of what can happen when the wrong mix of intelligence and self-help books come together.Underneath that are some pretty dark musings, in my opinion. How much of my opinion is coloured by the knowledge of Pratchett’s early onset Alzheimer’s I’m unable to say, but must be mentioned; there are also shades, I’m sure, of my own current and likely permanent cynicism about humanity.The book starts off with Granny in a dark place; she’s feeling invisible and forgotten by her friends and her community, and an accident with a cow left her forced to make a difficult choice for someone else. I’m not sure if we’re meant to believe that’s why she takes herself off to the gnarly moors or if I missed the moment when her true purpose was foreshadowed. Either way, Granny puts her affairs in order and leaves without a word to anyone, in the throes of a dark depression.Meanwhile, in an effort to be modern and embrace a modern tolerance for all beings, King Verence invites the vampires into the castle to celebrate the naming of his newborn daughter. Tolerance taken too far is a touchy topic these days, when everybody is supposed to embrace inclusiveness in all forms but naïveté and inclusiveness aren’t a good mix and it wasn’t hard to draw a line from Pratchett’s vampires being invited in to today’s ‘open-mindedness’ that leads to widely accepted conspiracy theories and general apathy about all the ways the world is currently going to hell.Then there’s the theological battle that takes place throughout the book. This felt very auto-biographical to me, as if Pratchett used Oats and the witches to vent his spleen – a very bitter spleen from the feel of things. So while I was laughing at the numerous moments of hilarity and sly humour, there was a stain over it of … sadness, I guess. The idea that this genius of storytelling was at his core quite possibly an unhappy man. And I don’t say that because I claim that without faith in a higher being it’s impossible to be happy, but because to spend so much time elucidating the reasons why such faith is misplaced doesn’t seem like something a person at peace with his personal philosophy, and fundamentally happy, would spend his time doing. I don’t agree with him about the higher being, but I do agree with him (and Oats and Granny) that one can find the sacred everywhere.The ending is both simplicity itself and a perfect reflection of the one-way thought processes of humanity. Not to mention that justice and mercy don’t always come wrapped in bows and happiness.I read this book, which had been on my TBR for years anyway, on the advice of Themis Athena as a good book for the Splatter square on my 2021 Halloween Bingo card.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Perhaps the best Discworld book to read for Halloween. Vampires and Witches oh my.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Once again the kingdom of Lancre is in a tough spot and it’s up to Granny, Nanny, and Agnes to face-off with an enemy whose motto is Carpe Jugulum. In the 23rd installment, sixth in the Witches subseries, of Terry Pratchett’s fantasy-humor series sees vampires, sorry vampyrs, from the country of Uberwald take center stage as they are invited to invade Lancre only to get invaded back.Lancre is celebrating the birth of Princess Esmerelda Margaret, her father has invited everyone to join the celebration including many foreign dignitaries including the ruling Count of Uberwald. Unfortunately the Count is a vampire, sorry vampyr, which means he gets to come in and take over the place. Of course, Nanny and Agnes instantly know they need to stop this and when they go to get Granny they discover an even worse problem, she’s packed up and left because the Count’s mental barrier is really strong. However after Nanny, Agnes, and their new trio member Queen Magrat herself rejoins the coven and confronts the Count leading to bad results, Granny comes in and seemingly gets defeated by the vampires. However, sometimes a defeat is a victory in disguise.Unlike some previous Discworld books, Pratchett keeps this one tight with subplots and secondary characters being closely connected with the main story and characters. Mightily Oats, a priest of Om whose been having a crises of faith his entire life, and the blue pixie clan the “Wee Free Men” are some of the highlights of this tightened plot and subplot connection as they are both integral yet separate at the same time to the overall story. While I do not know if Mightily Oats makes a return appearance, I do know that the blue pixie clan’s time in the series I just beginning and I’m looking forward to seeing how their story will develop.Carpe Jugulum is a very good book, but because of the feeling that it is just Lords and Ladies it falls short of being a great installment in the Discworld series.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I guess technically this was the second Terry Pratchett book that I've ever read but since the first was Good Omens which was co-written with Neil Gaiman I'm inclined to treat this one as my first. ;-)This novel is a part of his Discworld series but apparently those do not have to be read in order (at least that was my understanding hence me reading #23) so if you want to dip your toe into this fantasy series you could certainly start here. I came across this book because I binged the What We Do in the Shadows film + series and this was billed as a "vampire parody". WWDitS is a modern day horror spoof with lots of gore (and verging on R rated sexy times) whereas Carpe Jugulum is a fantasy set in a bygone era where magic is real (as well as trolls, unicorns, werewolves, and of course vampires) but everything is treated quite seriously (except for the deliberate wordplay). It's not dry or boring by any means (or as complicated as Tolkien's worldbuilding) but high spirited hijinks it is not. I can't fault the writing but it wasn't what I was jonesing for and...it didn't really knock my socks off. If you're a newbie to vampire fiction then this would be an a-okay place to begin and/or if you like the idea of magic meets vampire might but for my purposes it didn't fit the bill.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Pretty good. Coherent and sufficiently easy to follow along *iff* you've read enough other Discworld novels to know characters and history. The Nac Mac Feegle, aka little blue men, aka Pictsies, are from the Tiffany Aching books. This copy at least does have a bit of a guide in the back you might want to read first.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    "You must be happy to let things lie. Don't chase faith 'cos you'll never catch it...but perhaps you can live faithfully."

    There are times when I wonder if Pratchett just tried to challenge himself. "Okay, so, if I have vampires...no, let's call them vampyres...and witches and Frankenstein's Igor...but let's add some Frankenstein's monster to him...and let's throw some religion and atheism in there too, and a newborn. Oh, and some garden gnomes. Now, let's see what I can make of this particular stew."

    Once again, Pratchett delivers more than the goods. He gives us a great story with a lot of laughs, but he also creates one of the—at its core—more horrifying and satisfying vampire stories I've ever read, while also giving us some thought-provoking arguments both for and against believing in some sky god.

    And, along the way, Agnes comes into her own.

    How many series can you name that, 23 books in, just keeps getting better?
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    First appearance of Nac Mac Feagles. Agnes/Perdita moves into Magrat's cottage.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    A very entertaining novel. It's the continuing story of the Witches. If you're new to the Discworld you've missed some back story (start with Equal Rites) but this is a novel complete in itself.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Terry Pratchett simply couldn`t write a bad Discworld book. On the surface this one is about simply witches vs vampires (sorry vampyres) but it`s not only full with hilarious pop cultural references but sometimes unexpectedly it speaks about dead serious things dead seriously (and you still laughing your socks off).
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    On Discworld, it's not a good time to be a priest, especially when you're caught up in a war between vampires and witches. The vamps are out of the casket and want a bite of the future. To get rid of them, you'll need more than a garlic enema. Nanny Ogg, Granny Weatherwax and the rest are back.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I just finished re-re-re...reading this one. It's a pleasure each time. I am writing this on 18 March 2015. The incomparable Terry Pratchett died on the 12th. The news hit me much harder than I expected it would. I have spent a considerable amount of time in the Discworld Universe over the years. I kind of felt I knew Terry at some personal level after that, even though we never met. He was like a friend, a mentor, a philosophical relative...

    Anyway, I needed some kind of catharsis after the sad news, so I looked at my shelves and grabbed Carpe Jugulum. The selection wasn't entirely random. In this book, Granny Weatherwax is at her prickly best. She confronts a problem more powerful than herself (Vampires...or 'Vampyres' with a 'y' to be more modern). She knows she can't beat them in any conventional sense. But Granny is no conventional witch.

    Her resolve and her bravery in facing what might well be, in fact is likely to be, her death are, I imagine, much like how Sir Terry faced his 'embuggerance'. It was likely to kill him, but he met the challenge with resolve, struggled on despite how difficult his debilitating disease must have made it, and continued his service to both the Discworld and our round world for as long as he could.

    I suppose this has been more of a tribute to the author than a book review, but I recommend this book. I recommend all of the Discworld books. They are what fiction should be— entertaining, enlightening, informative, fun, and when you need it, uplifting.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Yet another wonderful Terry Pratchett comic fantasy novel, this one featuring witches defending the world from a band of enlightened vampires whose leader has conditioned them to withstand most traditional anti-vampire measures. And an unlikely hero in the person of a Omnian clergyman.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I took a little while to get into this one, but about 50 pages-ish in, it started motoring along. Funny vampires always good by me. Though now I want to watch some of the goofier Buffy episodes.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    It never occurred to me before, but I guess Carpe Jugulum is basically Twilight, but with a slightly more rational cast of characters and a little de-Sueing of the protagonist. As Pratchett proves, even the smallest touch of reality to that starry-eyed plot leads to a radically different outcome.

    Agnes Nitt, apprentice witch, is our heroine. Unlike Bella Swan, Agnes isn't the "oh-look-at-me-I-have-low-self-esteem-in-an-apparently-adorable-and-captivating-way-and-I'm-actually-drop-dead-gorgeous" style heroine that seems so popular in contemporary YA. Agnes is (very) overweight and therefore falls outside societal norms for beauty. And then along comes Vlad the vampire. And he may seem to sparkle in the sunlight, but vampires will be vampires...

    Of course, there's more to it, since Agnes isn't the only witch in Lancre. Oh, no. There's Granny Weatherwax, who's in a snit over not being invited to the royal christening, Nanny Ogg, who is becoming surprisingly moody, and Magrat, who is trying to come to terms with being a witch, a queen, and a mother while still being a bit of a damp dishrag. If that weren't enough, Agnes has to handle her "inner thin girl", Perdita, who is more than a bit of a bitch, a very lacrimose priest, a visiting Igor, and, of course, those darned vampires are in town, ready to set themselves up as the new cordial overlords of the bovine humans of Lancre.

    I'd say this is not a good book in the witch subseries to start with, because a major plot point revolves around Granny Weatherwax, the "hag" of the local coven, behaving in a rather overemotional and primadonna-ish fashion. If this is your first time encountering her, it would probably be very difficult to understand or empathize, and personally, the remaining characters tend to rub me the wrong way. I like and sympathize with Agnes, but I think it should be possible for her to be on the scene for a page or so without a reference to her weight. Unfortunately, Pratchett doesn't agree, and the constant references to Agnes' "lumpish" form got on my nerves. I find Magrat extremely irritating and Nanny Ogg a mixture of entertaining and exasperating. In my opinion, other than Granny Weatherwax, none of the characters in the witch books have much depth or character growth, so it is important to understand Granny's background and why she behaves as she does in this story. With this background, I found Granny's actions rational and a little heartbreaking. I also actually spared a significant amount of empathy for the progress-obsessed vampires. They may be unapologetically coldhearted killers, but their overeager desire for superficial change is somehow as sympathetic as it is pathetic.

    This book gets a five from me, but for a very strange reason: specifically, a segment that in total probably makes up only a few pages, but which has stuck in my thoughts for years. Other than Small Gods, I think this book is Pratchett's most direct discussion of religion, and his vision is acute and piercing. This book contains a very interesting discussion of just how hard it would be for true religious passion and true tolerance to coexist, and the struggles of faith of Mightily Oats, the local priest, felt uncomfortably familiar and close to home for me. When I was trying very hard to hold on to my religious beliefs, I tried to block out those pages because they stuck in my mind like a burr. Now agnostic, I look back on them as a cogent crystallization of some of my significant doubts and issues with religion. To be clear, Pratchett does not attack religion; in fact, I think this book is actually very sympathetic to those with strong faith. Pratchett mainly highlights the hypocrisy possible when tolerance and care begin to swallow up faith and passion.

    Overall, a lot of fun and an antidote to a Twilight-obsessed culture.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Granny Weatherwax is one of those characters that, prior to this point, I would describe as a quiet mystery. Old, crotchety, wise, powerful, and wickedly intelligent, her role in her coven was always important but never a centerpiece, at least in my mind, and she was never a character toward which I would ascribe feelings of sympathy.

    But in this book we see Pratchett really explore what makes Granny Granny, and in doing so, shows us why he loves her character so much. Like Captain Vimes, Granny is a creature of honour and duty, willing to do those things others can't or won't do because they are necessary. But as we've seen Vimes, here we see Granny bending beneath the weight of that duty, and in those moments we see the humanity and vulnerability of a character who seems so unbreakable.

    To me, this book stacks up with Guards! Guards! as one of Pratchett's best... I'm a guy who loves relating to great characters, and this book delivers in spades.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I almost always enjoy a Pratchet and I really enjoy Granny Weatherwax, so this one was fun. The ending went on too long - too much of a good thing - but that is a minor quibble.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    It's the night of the new Princess of Lancre's naming day and the invitations have gone out to all the right people. Nanny Ogg and Agnes are in attendance, but as the night goes on Magrat gets more tense when Granny Weatherwax doesn't appear.Nanny Ogg is annoyed because Verence has invited a priest of Om - a sect with a history of witch burning. Agnes is more concerned about the guests from Uberwald. They are vampires, and the seem quite happy to be welcomed into the castle. In fact, they have no intention of leaving.