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    My Weird School Daze #5: Officer Spence Makes No Sense!
    My Weird School Daze #5: Officer Spence Makes No Sense!
    My Weird School Daze #5: Officer Spence Makes No Sense!
    Ebook69 pages29 minutes

    My Weird School Daze #5: Officer Spence Makes No Sense!

    By Dan Gutman and Jim Paillot

    5/5

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    About this ebook

    With more than 30 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading! 

    In the fifth book in the My Weird School Daze series, the weirdness never stops! The security guard at Ella Mentry School has gone off the deep end! Somebody is stealing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from the vomitorium, and Officer Spence is on the case. He's arresting everybody in sight! Somebody is going to go to jail! Who is it? You'll have to read the book to find out.

    Perfect for reluctant readers and word lovers alike, Dan Gutman's hugely popular My Weird School series has something for everyone. Don't miss the hilarious adventures of A.J. and the gang.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperCollins
    Release dateApr 21, 2009
    ISBN9780061905988
    My Weird School Daze #5: Officer Spence Makes No Sense!
    Author

    Dan Gutman

    Dan Gutman is the New York Times bestselling author of the Genius Files series; the Baseball Card Adventure series, which has sold more than 1.5 million copies around the world; and the My Weird School series, which has sold more than 35 million copies. Thanks to his many fans who voted in their classrooms, Dan has received nineteen state book awards and ninety-two state book award nominations. He lives in New York City with his wife. You can visit him online at dangutman.com.

    Read more from Dan Gutman

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    Book preview

    My Weird School Daze #5 - Dan Gutman

    1

    The Mystery of the Missing PB&J

    My name is A.J. and I hate school.

    I was in the vomitorium eating lunch with the guys. Our lunch lady, Ms. LaGrange, was walking around saying hello to everybody.

    Bon appétit! Ms. LaGrange said when she got to our table.

    Ms. LaGrange is from France, so she’s always saying weird stuff like Bon appétit. I know that appetite means being hungry and bon means bone. So when French people get hungry, I guess they eat bones.

    French people are weird.

    I invented a new food! Ms. LaGrange told us. Would you like to try it?

    I never try new foods. That’s the first rule of being a kid. New foods are yucky. We all looked in the bowl Ms. LaGrange was holding.

    What is it? asked Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn’t food.

    Take a guess, said Ms. LaGrange.

    Is it noodles? asked Michael, who never ties his shoes.

    Not exactly, said Ms. LaGrange.

    Is it pasta? asked Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes.

    Nope, said Ms. LaGrange. "It’s a combination of noodles and pasta."

    What’s it called? I asked.

    Poodlenasta! said Ms. LaGrange.

    Poodlenasta? Who names a food poodlenasta? Ms. LaGrange is strange.

    Ryan tried some poodlenasta, but the rest of us said it looked gross. Neil opened his bag of Crispy Chips. Michael took out a bag of Crunchy Cheezy Crackos. My mom packed me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

    I love peanut butter. And I love jelly. So peanut butter and jelly together is the perfect combination. The guy who invented the PB&J sandwich was a genius. He should get the No Bell Prize. That’s a prize they give out to people who don’t have bells.

    This annoying girl named Andrea Young with curly brown hair was at the next table.* She was sitting with her crybaby friend Emily. Andrea thinks she is so smart because she’s a member of P.A.C. That’s the Principal Advisory Committee—a group of nerds who get to boss around the principal. Andrea was talking really loud to make sure we all heard her.

    Did you know that girls live longer than boys? Andrea said.

    Really? asked Emily. I didn’t know that.

    Yes, it’s true, said Andrea. I read it in my encyclopedia.

    Andrea reads the encyclopedia for fun in her spare time. What is her problem? I slapped my head.

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