How to Eat Like a Hot Chick: Eat What You Love, Love How You Feel
By Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent
3/5
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About this ebook
Chocolate cake for breakfast and a pound of spinach for dinner? Looking and feeling your best has never been so easy, so guiltless or so much fun!
Let's be honest, ladies, are you tired of hearing about the eating habits of airbrushed celebrities? Do you want to feel sexy as you slide into your favorite jeans, but you're too confused by the complicated diet plans out there? Well, here is the antidote to all of that nonsense!
With saucy wit and goodwill to spare, Lipper and Vincent reveal their tricks for how you can overcome any food obstacle, from which cocktails will keep you light on your feet past midnight to how you can stay on track when you're down in the dumps (or if you just got dumped). They'll teach you how to eat the foods you love with confidence, make smarter choices, and wake up your inner Hot Chick once and for all.
It's time to end the vicious dieting cycle with this straightforward and hilarious guide to enjoying your food, embracing your body and celebrating yourself like only a true Hot Chick can.
Jodi Lipper
Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent are the authors of How to Eat Like a Hot Chick and How to Love Like a Hot Chick. Jodi is a graduate of Barnard College, Columbia University, who has worked as a writer and editor in the publishing and film industries. Cerina is a writer and film and television actress best known for her performances in Cabin Fever, Not Another Teen Movie, and Everybody Wants to Be Italian.
Read more from Jodi Lipper
The Cobbler: How I Disrupted an Industry, Fell from Grace, and Came Back Stronger Than Ever Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow To Love Like a Hot Chick: The Girlfriend to Girlfriend Guide to Getting the Love You Deserve Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Live Like a Hot Chick: How to Feel Sexy, Find Confidence, and Create Balance at Work and Play Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
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Reviews for How to Eat Like a Hot Chick
5 ratings1 review
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The cover and title of this book caught my eye at Borders one night, and I just HAD to buy it. It’s a no-nonsense guide to quit being so “fucked-up” about your eating habits. (Hey, I’m just quoting from the book!) Its basic philosophy is to keep an even keel—if you have fast food for breakfast and lunch, eat a pound of spinach for dinner. If you know you’re going out tomorrow night, eat something super healthy for breakfast and lunch. It made me laugh out loud, and it inspired me to take some “butt classes” and to quit making myself so “LSE” (low self-esteem) all the time. It’s a waste of time, and it’s not Hot Chick behavior! This is one I’ll reread bits and pieces of for a long time.
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Book preview
How to Eat Like a Hot Chick - Jodi Lipper
Chapter 1
How to Eat Like a Hot Chick at Breakfast
THEY SAY THAT BREAKFAST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY, AND THEY AIN’T LYING. It totally sets the tone for what the rest of your day will be like. If you eat something healthy, you’ll feel totally hot, and you’ll want to continue putting good, nutritious food into your body all day long. But if you start on the wrong note, it’s basically all downhill from there. It’s easy to say, Ah, screw it. Now this day’s shot. I’ll just pig out for the next twelve hours and start over tomorrow.
Be aware that we girls become especially tempted to eat something really fucked up for breakfast after a night of drinking. Alcohol lowers our blood sugar and dehydrates us, and we wake up the next morning starving and desperate for chocolate. At least we do. You might crave pizza or some other cheesy nonsense, but that’s really no better.
Yes, we firmly believe that there are some circumstances when it’s okay to eat something retarded in the morning, but we’ll get to those special occasions later. On a regular, average Tuesday, it is much hotter to eat something healthy. You don’t want to go too far to this extreme either, though, and eat a miniscule, unsatisfying breakfast. No Grape Nuts. No tiny cup of yogurt. This will only lead to a major pig-out the minute the office pastry tray comes out or when you pass your first vending machine of the day, and that is exactly what we’re trying to avoid.
There is a happy medium, ladies, and we’ll help you find it with these Hot Chick’s tips to starting your day the best way you possibly can.
Oatmeal
One of the breakfasts we’ve had the most success with is good, old-fashioned oatmeal. Wait; before you make that face, hold on. We know that plain oatmeal can be boring. You’ve gotta jazz it up a little, and we’ve found some good ways to do it. First, always add the little dash of salt they recommend. We also like to add cinnamon and a little bit of sugar if we’re in the mood for a sweet breakfast.
If we feel like being even more virtuous, we add some chopped nuts and ground flaxseeds instead. If this sounds gross, give it a chance before you make that face again, damn it! It may take a few times to get comfortable with it (kind of like a bikini wax), but we think it’s just as addictive.
We promise this stuff tastes good, but if you don’t like it, that’s fine. Be creative and work it out yourself. You can put fruit in your oatmeal, or anything else that sounds good to you. We have a friend that used to eat oatmeal with hummus in it. Ew, that sounds totally gross and weird to us, but who are we to judge? If it sounds good to you, go for it.
The only kinds of oatmeal that we’re totally going to forbid are those gross little packets of pre-flavored junk. Pay attention: it takes exactly the same amount of time to pour oatmeal into your bowl from the box as it does to open one of those stupid packets. And those packages are filled with sugar, artificial flavors, colors, preservatives, and all that bad stuff.
Plus, one of those tiny containers has the same amount of calories as a giant bowl of plain oatmeal, is far less filling, and is full of disgusting little dehydrated, shrunken peach chunks. Does that sound hot to you? And don’t you dare fall for those new packages of women’s oatmeal.
That is total bullshit and insulting to your hot little mind. There is nothing in our womanly bodies that makes us need extra artificial flavorings. Please top off your oatmeal yourselves, ladies, and you’ll be much better off.
Eggs
For many years we refused to eat eggs. The whole idea of ingesting dead baby chicken fetuses just totally grossed us out. But after a while we realized that we were missing out on a ton of protein (and the great majority of breakfast options) by shunning the incredible edible egg. And we soon found that as long as you don’t think about exactly what it is you’re eating, they’re actually pretty damn good. (Isn’t that true of most foods?)
If cholesterol is a big concern for you, then you should probably skip the eggs entirely, but if you’re not worried about it, eggs are actually pretty cool. They have less than 100 calories each, around 7 grams of butt-muscle-building protein, and they supposedly make your brain sharper. Well, we sure think that smart girls are hot, so don’t let some other bitch beat you on an IQ test just because she ate a better breakfast than you!
There are of course many ways to cook eggs. They’re about as versatile as your favorite pair of magic jeans. You can dress them up or dress them down, and they’ll pretty much always make you happy. However, there are also many, many ways to fuck them up , so we came up with some examples of how to accessorize them to make them hot, but keep you from ruining your morning by overloading your breakfast and giving yourself a giant case of OWL Syndrome .
Egg Example #1—Have It Hard
Yep. Just keep it simple and try a good old-fashioned hard-boiled egg—like the kind the Easter bunny hides (but throw yours out if they start to get any weird colors on them like his do). If you don’t know how to hard boil an egg, we feel sorry for you, but since we’re really nice, we’ll talk you through