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    Simple Secrets of a Great Marriage
    Simple Secrets of a Great Marriage
    Simple Secrets of a Great Marriage
    Ebook136 pages1 hour

    Simple Secrets of a Great Marriage

    By Henry Cloud and John Townsend

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    About this ebook

    The marriage of your dreams is just twenty-one secrets away.

    In today's mad-dash world, it's easy to lose perspective about what matters most, even when it comes to the most important people in our lives. Award-winning authors and psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend have teamed up to pack their best relationship principles into an easy-to-read twenty-one-secret program designed for today's busy people. Each secret reveals life-tested wisdom, biblical principles, and do-it-today action steps on key topics like building trust, cultivating healthy sexual intimacy, establishing realistic expectations, handling conflict, and much more.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThomas Nelson
    Release dateDec 2, 2008
    ISBN9781418561338
    Simple Secrets of a Great Marriage
    Author

    Henry Cloud

    Dr. Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, psychologist, and New York Times bestselling author whose books have sold over 10 million copies. In 2014, Success magazine named Dr. Cloud one of the top 25 most influential leaders in personal growth and development. He graduated from Southern Methodist University with a BS in psychology and completed his PhD in clinical psychology at Biola University. 

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      Book preview

      Simple Secrets of a Great Marriage - Henry Cloud

      a gift

      For_____________________

      From____________________

      simple secrets

             of a

      Great marriage

      BY DR. HENRY CLOUD & DR. JOHN TOWNSEND

      FIN_LOC_0003_001

      Simple Secrets of a Great Marriage

      © 2006 by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

      All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

      Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

      Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP Attorneys and Literary Agents, Orange, CA.

      Some of the names used in scenarios in this book are not actual names; identifying details have been changed to protect anonymity. Any resemblance to persons alive or dead is purely coincidental.

      Art Director: Kevin Swanson

      Designer: Alison T. Bauer

      Production Artist: Dan C. Horton

      Thomas Nelson, Inc., titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

      Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®.

      © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

      ISBN-13: 978-1-4041-0532-4

      Printed in China

      08 09 10 11 12 MT 6 5 4 3 2 1

      table of contents

      INTRODUCTION: How to Get the Most Marriage Mileage Out of This Book

      SIMPLE SECRET 1: Grow Your Marriage to Greatness

      SIMPLE SECRET 2: Accept Each Other No Matter What

      SIMPLE SECRET 3: Focus on Changing Yourself, Not Your Mate

      SIMPLE SECRET 4: Set Self Aside

      SIMPLE SECRET 5: Grow Out of Your Immaturity

      SIMPLE SECRET 6: Practice Humility

      SIMPLE SECRET 7: Enjoy Great Sex by Pursuing Healthy Sex

      SIMPLE SECRET 8: Lavish Your Partner with Grace

      SIMPLE SECRET 9: Focus on Meeting Needs First

      SIMPLE SECRET 10: Be Partners, Not Dependents

      SIMPLE SECRET 11: Cherish Your Healthy Differences

      SIMPLE SECRET 12: Share Your Feelings

      SIMPLE SECRET 13: Curb the Communication Stoppers

      SIMPLE SECRET 14: Draw Out Your Partner’s Heart

      SIMPLE SECRET 15: Take Sex Beyond the Bedroom

      SIMPLE SECRET 16: Nudge Each Other to Be More than You Are

      SIMPLE SECRET 17: Deal with Hurt as It Happens

      SIMPLE SECRET 18: Fight for Win-Win Solutions

      SIMPLE SECRET 19: Exercise Trust

      SIMPLE SECRET 20: Welcome Rules When Needed

      SIMPLE SECRET 21: Always, Always, Always Forgive

      introduction

      how to

      get the most

      marriage mileage

      out of this book

      You may have picked up or received this book for any number of reasons, such as:

      • You’re in a good marriage, but you want it to be even better.

      • You’re scrambling for answers in your marriage, aware that it’s nowhere near great at this point.

      • You and your mate periodically work through a marriage book together to keep your relationship fine-tuned and humming.

      • Your spouse handed the book to you with that look in his or her eye that says, Get a clue.

      • You’re engaged, and a caring friend or relative wants you to get your upcoming marriage started on the right foot.

      • You’re widowed or divorced and intent on getting it right the next time.

      No matter how or why you’ve ended up with this book in your hands, we’re glad you’re here. We want you to know that, wherever you’re starting from, you’ve embarked on a twenty-one-secret journey that will, if you stick with us and do the work, make a great, positive difference in your marriage. We have shared these principles with literally thousands of people, and those who diligently worked them into their relationship have become better spouses and are enjoying great marriages. We’re confident it will happen for you too.

      But before you hit the road on this life-changing, marriage-improving journey, here are a few tips to help you get the most mileage from your effort.

      You will benefit even if your partner doesn’t read this book.

      We think it’s ideal that you and your spouse (or spouse-to-be) read the book and work through the exercises together. But if he or she isn’t quite ready for that process, your marriage will still profit greatly if you start the journey alone. Great marriages result as each partner focuses on him- or herself, determined, with God’s help, to be the best mate possible. As you grow through these principles, your marriage will likely improve even if your mate isn’t with the program yet.

      You will get the most mileage when you go beyond just reading.

      At the end of each chapter you will find an application section headed Think about It, Talk about It, Live It. The questions and exercises we provide there are designed to help you translate principles for a great marriage into the day-by-day expression of your marriage.

      If you are taking this journey as a couple, we suggest that you first read each chapter individually. Think through the application section, jot some notes, and decide how you personally will respond to the principle you’ve just read about. Then get together with your partner to share with each other your insights and responses from the chapter. Some couples might want to read chapters aloud to each other and talk through the exercises together instead of doing the work separately. That’s okay, but we think you will find extra benefit from getting inside your own head and heart first, then coming together with some well-considered responses.

      If you are taking this journey alone, don’t skip the application section. Work through the questions and exercises as they apply to you, even if you can’t share them with your spouse right now. If the opportunity arises to share with your partner from what you’re reading, make sure it’s about what God is doing in you, not what you think your partner needs to do. A great marriage is about changing yourself, not your mate.

      Each chapter ends with a Great Marriage Commitment, crystallized from the chapter’s theme. Consider concluding your discussion of each chapter by

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