My Life as a Supersized Superhero with Slobber
By Bill Myers
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About this ebook
At last, Wally can have the superpowers he has always dreamed of and written about! Thanks to the newest invention of Junior Whiz Kid, Wally now has . .
- Laser-Blaster Eye Beams-handy for catching those bad guys . . . and reheating your hot chocolate.
- Inviso Shield-a flip of the switch and your invisible . . . except for you're underwear.
- Extendo Arms-great for back scratching those hard to reach spots . . . particularly if they're a thousand miles away.
These and a dozen other superpowers allow him to try to make the world a better place . . . until he realizes that the biggest differences are not made by flashy superheroes, but by everyday people doing everyday acts of kindness.
Join our boy blunder as he learns the true meaning of helping and caring for others.
Bill Myers
Bill Myers (www.Billmyers.com) is a bestselling author and award-winning writer/director whose work has won sixty national and international awards. His books and videos have sold eight million copies and include The Seeing, Eli, The Voice, My Life as, Forbidden Doors, and McGee and Me.
Read more from Bill Myers
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Book preview
My Life as a Supersized Superhero with Slobber - Bill Myers
The Incredible Worlds of Wally McDoogle
MY Life
as a
Supersized
Superhero
... WITH SLOBBER
BILL MYERS
WMcD_28_TXT_0003_001MY LIFE AS A SUPERSIZED SUPERHERO . . . WITH SLOBBER
Copyright © 2007 by Bill Myers.
Cover illustration by Jeff Mangiat.
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means— electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Published in Nashville, TN, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.
Thomas Nelson, Inc. titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please email SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.
Unless noted otherwise, all Scripture references are from the International Children’s Bible® , New Century Version® , © 1986, 1988, 1999 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Myers, Bill, 1953–
My life as a supersized superhero—with slobber / Bill Myers.
p. cm.— (The incredible worlds of Wally McDoogle ; 28)
Summary: Believing that God wants him to make the world a better place, Wally is thrilled when Junior Whiz Kid outfits him with a supersuit, but he soon realizes that everyday acts of kindness make more of a difference than a superhero ever could.
ISBN-13: 978-1-4003-0637-4 (pbk.)
ISBN-10: 1-4003-0637-X
[1. Heroes—Fiction. 2. Inventions—Fiction. 3. Christian Life—
Fiction. 4. Humorous stories.] I. Title.
PZ7.M98234Mylem 2007
[Fic]—dc22
2007005540
Printed in the United States of America
07 08 09 10 11 RRD 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
For Janey and Louis DeMeo . . .
who know the real secret of serving the King.
Contents
1. Just for Starters
2. An Old Fiend
3. Extreme Makeover
4. A Sticky Stickup
5. The Plot Sickens . . .
6. New and Not-So-Improved
7. Late-Break ing News
8. More Superheroics
9. In Your Dreams . . . (or Not)
10. Wrapping Up
I tell you the truth. Anything you did for any of my people here, you also did for me.
—Matthew 25:40
Chapter 1
Just for Starters
I was having another one of my world-famous daymares.
It would have been nightmares, but I was sitting in Mr. Reptenson’s science class . . . which meant I was required to catch up on my sleep. I don’t want to say that it’s a law or anything, but the U.S. Surgeon General had posted a sign on his door that read:
WARNING:Listening to this teacher may cause great boredom, resulting in serious eye glazing, loss of consciousness, and little puddles of drool forming on your desk from sleeping with your mouth open.
It’s not that Reptile Man (that’s what we call him for short) is boring. But if you ever want to chill down after an exciting day of watching snail races or the leaves changing color, his classroom is just the place.
So, there I was, conked out on my desk making my own little drool pool, when suddenly I heard tap-dancing.
I pried open my baby blues and saw an angel in a white tuxedo, top hat, and cane tap-dancing on Reptile Man’s desk.
Bartholomew!
I cried.
Good afternoon, Wallace.
He spoke in his usual thick English accent.
Of course, Mr. Reptenson didn’t notice a thing. It’s hard noticing things like tap-dancing angels when you’re only wearing a scuba suit, passing out answers to all upcoming quizzes, and showing Spider-Man XVII on a giant-screen TV that you traded in your blackboard for.
(Oh, yeah, I was definitely dreaming.)
So, how’s the angel biz?
I asked.
Smashing,
he said, continuing his dance. "By the way, I loved your My Life As Reindeer Road Kill book."
I mentioned you in it.
"My point exactly. Of course, it’s not exactly the same as being in the Book with Gabriel and the other guys, but . . ."
"The Book?" I asked.
The Bible, Wallace.
"Oh, yeah, that the Book."
Not as many laughs as yours, but definitely worth the read.
I nodded. Where did you learn to dance like that?
Oh, this?
He did a flurry of tapping. I’ve been watching old Shirley Temple movies.
I glanced around the room and saw every kid in class was playing video games on monitors that were built into their desks. Not only that, but the cafeteria lady was going around serving pizza with a crust that was actually fit for human consumption.
Yes, I was definitely dreaming.
Listen, Wallace, I have another invitation for you from God.
I suddenly got a little nervous. Remembering my numerous near-death experiences from the last one, I asked, What is it this time?
He opened his hand to reveal a glowing envelope. Instantly, it turned into a pigeon and flew across the room where it landed on my shoulder. Talk about cool. It was even cooler when it turned back into the invitation.
I took the invitation and read:
The Lord requests your help in
making the world a better place to live.
God wants me to help . . . Him?!
I asked in astonishment.
Bartholomew nodded.
Wow! What an honor! Why me?
"Rumor has it He likes the underdogs. And they don’t come any more under than you."
I nodded. When he was right,