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    My Life as Polluted Pond Scum
    My Life as Polluted Pond Scum
    My Life as Polluted Pond Scum
    Ebook95 pages1 hour

    My Life as Polluted Pond Scum

    By Bill Myers

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    About this ebook

    Take one monster lurking in the depths of a mysterious lake. Add one glowing figure with powers to summon the creature to the shore. Stir in one Wally McDoogle, who reluctantly stumbles upon the truth:

    And you have the recipe for another. . .

    Laugh-filled McDoogle disaster.

    Being a hero is the last thing on Wally's mind, but the fate of his entire town is at stake. Now he must race against the clock, his own fears, and his world renown klutziness - and learn to trust God - before he has any chance of saving the day,

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThomas Nelson
    Release dateAug 30, 1996
    ISBN9781418535025
    My Life as Polluted Pond Scum
    Author

    Bill Myers

    Bill Myers (www.Billmyers.com) is a bestselling author and award-winning writer/director whose work has won sixty national and international awards. His books and videos have sold eight million copies and include The Seeing, Eli, The Voice, My Life as, Forbidden Doors, and McGee and Me.

    Read more from Bill Myers

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      Book preview

      My Life as Polluted Pond Scum - Bill Myers

      MY LiFe

      as

      POLLUTED

      Pond Scum

      BOOKS BY BILL MYERS

      The Incredible Worlds of Wally McDoogle (20 books):

      —My Life As a Smashed Burrito with Extra Hot Sauce

      —My Life As Alien Monster Bait

      —My Life As a Broken Bungee Cord

      —My Life As Crocodile Junk Food

      —My Life As Dinosaur Dental Floss

      —My Life As a Torpedo Test Target

      —My Life As a Human Hockey Puck

      —My Life As an Afterthought Astronaut

      —My Life As Reindeer Road Kill

      —My Life As a Toasted Time Traveler

      —My Life As Polluted Pond Scum

      —My Life As a Bigfoot Breath Mint

      —My Life As a Blundering Ballerina

      —My Life As a Screaming Skydiver

      —My Life As a Human Hairball

      —My Life As a Walrus Whoopee Cushion

      —My Life As a Mixed-Up Millennium Bug

      —My Life As a Beat-Up Basketball Backboard

      —My Life As a Cowboy Cowpie

      —My Life As Invisible Intestines with Intense Indigestion

      Other Series:

      McGee and Me! (12 books)

      Bloodhounds, Inc. (10 books)

      Forbidden Doors (10 books)

      Teen Nonfiction

      Hot Topics, Tough Questions

      Faith Encounter

      Just Believe It

      Picture Book

      Baseball for Breakfast

      www.Billmyers.com

      the incredible worlds of Wally McDoogle

      MY LiFe

      as

      POLLUTED

      Pond Scum

      B I L L      M Y E R S

      Pond_Scum_TXT_0003_001

      MY LIFE AS POLLUTED POND SCUM

      © 1996 by Bill Myers.

      All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means— electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

      Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

      Thomas Nelson, Inc., titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

      Quotations marked NKJV are from the New King James Version, © 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publisher.

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Myers, Bill, 1953–

      My life as polluted pond scum / Bill Myers.

      p. cm. — (The incredible worlds of Wally McDoogle)

      Summary: Thirteen-year-old Wally must learn to trust God when his Career Day assignment on the local water management facility leads him to a rumor of a lake monster and a real scheme that threatens the town.

      ISBN 978-0–8499–3875–7 (pbk.)

      [1. Pollution—Fiction. 2. Christian life—Fiction.

      3. Humorous stories.] I. Title. II. Series: Myers, Bill, 1953– .

      Incredible worlds of Wally McDoogle ; #11.

      PZ7.M98234Mytp   1996

      [Fic]—dc20                                                          96–8256

                                                                                          CIP

                                                                                            AC

      Printed in the United States of America

      08 09 10 11 12   QW   26 25 24 23 22

      For Debra Bell and Sigmund Brouwer—

      co-laborers committed to young people

      All things work together for good to those

      who love God, to those who are the called

      according to His purpose.

      —Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

      Contents

      1. Just for Starters . . .

      2. First Impressions

      3. Close Encounters of the Weirdest Kind

      4. Here We Go Again

      5. Ghost Bustin’

      6. A Little Hide-and-Seek

      7. All Cooped Up with No Place to Go

      8. Up, Up, and Not Quite Away

      9. A Little Night Swim

      10. Wrapping Up

      Chapter 1

      Just for Starters . . .

      All right, all right, I learned my lesson. Do whatever you want to me. I promise I will never, ever complain about anything ever again.

      • Run over me with the offensive line of the Dallas Cowboys, and you won’t hear a peep (maybe some snapping bones and tearing muscles, but no peeps).

      • Make me watch Barney reruns the rest of my life, and you’ll still not hear what I’m thinking (how can you, when my mind has been turned to oatmeal?).

      • Force me to eat my little sister’s cooking, and . . . well, all right, I’d speak up then, but only because poisoning people to death is frowned upon in some countries.

      The point is, from now on, whenever anything bad happens to me, I’m keeping my mouth shut and looking for ways to use that bad for good. ’Cause when you do that, cool things happen.

      How did I get to be such a know-it-all about this? As usual, I learned the hard way. . . .

      It all started back in Ms. Muddlemucker’s geography class. She was finishing up one of her thrilling lectures on the chief exports of some South American country:

      . . . wheat, rye, oats, and beef. This can be attributed to the arid climate created by the winds as they cross over the mountains, thereby losing much of their moisture and . . .

      See what I mean?

      I don’t want to say this woman is boring, but my best friend, Wall Street, who wants to make her first million by the time she’s fourteen, has been recording Ms. Muddlemucker’s classes and selling the tapes in drug stores right next to the sleeping pill section. And she’s making a killing.

      But there are a couple of advantages to taking Ms. Muddlemucker’s class. First, we all get to catch up on our sleep. And second, we get to participate in something called . . .

      CAREER DAYS.

      Each year every member of her class gets to be some hotshot city official for forty-eight hours. We actually get to go down to their offices and do their jobs for two days. Depending on our assignment, we get to be anything from Police Commissioner to Fire Chief to Dog Catcher to you name it.

      Pretty cool, huh?

      Not only do we get out of school, but we also get to play golf all day long and take three-hour lunches and do all the other neat stuff government officials always do.

      What was even cooler was I knew exactly what job I was getting. Yes sir, there was no doubt about it. I would be the highly esteemed and most honorable Wally McDoogle, Mayor of Middletown.

      How could you be so sure? you’re asking.

      Just by doing a little planning . . .

      The first step was to find out when they were holding Career Days. Once I knew that, I spent a whole week ahead of time trying to impress Ms. Muddlemucker. Major-league stuff, like handing in my

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