Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    My Life as a Human Hairball
    My Life as a Human Hairball
    My Life as a Human Hairball
    Ebook105 pages1 hour

    My Life as a Human Hairball

    By Bill Myers

    4/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Just when you're sure Wally has bungled through every misadventure imaginable, this nerdy kid stumbles, staggers, and k-splats his way smack dab into a brand new frontier - the human body. When he and Wall Street, his best friend (even if she is a girl), visit a local laboratory, they are accidentally miniaturized and swallowed by some unknown stranger. It is a race against the clock (let alone Wally's own klutzoidness) as they fly through various parts of the body - from the stomach to the blood system to the brain to the eye - in a desperate search for a way out while all the time learning how "fearfully and wonderfully we are made."

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThomas Nelson
    Release dateNov 1, 1998
    ISBN9781418553456
    My Life as a Human Hairball
    Author

    Bill Myers

    Bill Myers (www.Billmyers.com) is a bestselling author and award-winning writer/director whose work has won sixty national and international awards. His books and videos have sold eight million copies and include The Seeing, Eli, The Voice, My Life as, Forbidden Doors, and McGee and Me.

    Read more from Bill Myers

    Related to My Life as a Human Hairball

    Titles in the series (100)

    View More
    View More

    Related ebooks

    Children's Action & Adventure For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!

      Mar 5, 2020

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!
      3 min read

    • Article

      Avengers: Every Marvel Superhero Ranked From Worst To Best

      May 9, 2021

      It’s staggering to think that 10 years ago, the Marvel Cinematic Universe was yet to assemble any Avengers. Now, 24 films later and one TV show later, the series has introduced 27 world-saving characters. After the introduction of the originals – inc

      8 min read

    • Article

      Brief Encounters

      Apr 1, 2018

      Brief Encounters
      12 min read

    • Article

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!

      Feb 4, 2021

      I have a huge crush on a boy who plays in my br other’s football team. He is so cute! During a sleepover , I told my best friend, Penelope that I r eally liked him and that she was not allowed to tell anyone. I didn’t think any mor e about it, but wh

      2 min read

    • Article

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!

      Sep 5, 2019

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!
      3 min read

    • Article

      Totally EMBARRASSING

      Dec 20, 2020

      It all started in P.E, I found a soccer ball behind the school gate and so I started practising with it. Then my crush yelled out, “Pass it to me!” with the cutest smile on his face, so of course I was going to kick it to him. But when I tried, I tri

      2 min read

    • Article

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!

      Dec 5, 2019

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!
      2 min read

    • Article

      Super Mario Maker 2

      Jul 29, 2019

      Super Mario Maker 2
      8 min read

    • Article

      Editor

      Oct 7, 2021

      Hey KRASH Heads, Ash here. Welcome to our awesome November issue! We’re almost out of lockdown in most parts of Australia and NZ, so we hope it was OK for you and that KRASH kept you entertained! This issue we give away some cool Free Guy Blu-rays, H

      1 min read

    • Article

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!

      Nov 4, 2021

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!
      2 min read

    • Article

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!

      Jul 4, 2019

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!
      3 min read

    • Article

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!

      Jun 6, 2019

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!
      3 min read

    • Article

      Whoa! How Embarrassing!

      Sep 6, 2023

      I was out having lunch with my older brother and two of his friends. One of them is very cute and I always get a bit shy when he’s around. I was trying not to make a mess while I ate, but when I took a bite out of my burger the whole thing fell apart

      3 min read

    • Article

      Totally EMBARRASSING

      May 10, 2020

      One time at school, I was running and someone left their lunch box on the floor and I didn’t see it. It made me trip over and I fell straight into a bin! It was soooo embarrassing! Kaitlin Got an embarro story to share? Email totalgirl@nextmedia.

      2 min read

    • Article

      The Whyte Stuff

      Jan 5, 2022

      The Whyte Stuff
      7 min read

    • Article

      Dark Tales

      Dec 2, 2021

      Dark Tales
      6 min read

    • Article

      Bubble & trouble

      Dec 11, 2020

      Bubble & trouble
      3 min read

    • Article

      John Jeremiah Sullivan

      Mar 9, 2021

      John Jeremiah Sullivan
      27 min read

    • Article

      A Rear Old Time

      May 9, 2021

      A Rear Old Time
      7 min read

    • Article

      Surviving

      Nov 25, 2019

      Surviving
      10 min read

    • Article

      The Night Wand

      Oct 15, 2021

      The Night Wand
      5 min read

    • Article

      Four Poems

      May 1, 2020

      1. Stop the action. 1a. Does that include apologizing? 1b. Because I’m sorry about this poem. I’m so embarrassed. Please forgive me. 3. Tape pictures of policemen all around the house, especially on the refrigerator. 7. Cheap tops. 49. Cheap tops. ii

      3 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for My Life as a Human Hairball

    4/5

    8 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      My Life as a Human Hairball - Bill Myers

      MY LiFe

      as a

      Human

      Hairball

      Books by Bill Myers

      Series

      SECRET AGENT DINGLEDORF

      . . . and his trusty dog, SPLAT sa1

      The Case of the . . .

      Giggling Geeks • Chewable Worms

      • Flying Toenails • Drooling Dinosaurs •

      Hiccupping Ears • Yodeling Turtles

      The Incredible Worlds of Wally McDoogle

      My Life As . . .

      a Smashed Burrito with Extra Hot Sauce • Alien Monster Bait • a Broken Bungee Cord • Crocodile Junk Food • Dinosaur Dental Floss • a Torpedo Test Target • a Human Hockey Puck • an Afterthought Astronaut • Reindeer Road Kill • a Toasted Time Traveler • Polluted Pond Scum • a Bigfoot Breath Mint • a Blundering Ballerina • a Screaming Skydiver • a Human Hairball • a Walrus Whoopee Cushion • a Computer Cockroach (Mixed-Up Millennium Bug) • a Beat-Up Basketball Backboard • a Cowboy Cowpie • Invisible Intestines with Intense Indigestion • a Skysurfing Skateboarder • a Tarantula Toe Tickler • a Prickly Porcupine from Pluto • a Splatted-Flat Quarterback • a Belching Baboon • a Stupendously Stomped Soccer Star • a Haunted Hamburger, Hold the Pickles • a Supersized Superhero . . . with Slobber •

      00-01-WMD15_0002_001

      The Portal • The Experiment • The Whirlwind • The Tablet

      Picture Book

      Baseball for Breakfast

      www.Billmyers.com

      the incredible worlds of Wally McDoogle

      MY LiFe

      as a

      Human

      Hairball

      BILL MYERS

      00-01-WMD15_0003_001

      MY LIFE AS A HUMAN HAIRBALL

      © 1998 by Bill Myers

      All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts in reviews.

      Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

      Thomas Nelson, Inc., titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail: SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

      Scripture quotations are from the International Children’s Bible®, New Century Version®, © 1986, 1988, 1999 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

      Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Myers, Bill, 1953–

              My life as a human hairball / Bill Myers.

                    p. cm. — (The incredible worlds of Wally McDoogle ; 15)

                Summary: Accidentally miniaturized in a lab, thirteen-year-old Wally and his friend Wall Street travel through the inside of a person’s body, viewing his anatomy and marveling at the wonders of God’s creation.

                ISBN 978-0-8499-4024-8

                [1. Body, Human—Fiction. 2. Science—Experiments—Fiction.

      3. Christian life—Fiction. 4. Humorous stories.] I. Title. II. Series: Myers, Bill, 1953– . Incredible worlds of Wally McDoogle ; #15.

      PZ7.M98234M1 1998

      [Fic]—dc21                                                                      98-7219

      CIPP

           AC

      Printed in the United States of America

      09 10 11 12 13 QW 17 16 15 14 13

      To Tina Shuman—

      for her resourcefulness and commitment.

      I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. . . .

      Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

      Contents

      1. Just for Starters . . .

      2. A New Weight-Loss Program

      3. Digesting the Facts

      4. A Little Swim

      5. The Heart of the Matter

      6. Growing UP

      7. Swim!!!

      8. Just Like Old Slimes

      9. Break Out!

      10. Wrapping Up

      Chapter 1

      Just for Starters . . .

      The next time I say God is boring, just tape my mouth shut, throw me off the World Trade Center, or get me a brain transplant (because it’s obvious I’ve lost my mind). What I learned just about His creativity and how He puts the human body together is enough to write an entire book, which— come to think about it—I’m doing.

      It all started with another boring field trip, to another boring science place, courtesy of our boring science teacher, Mr. Reptenson. I don’t want to be too hard on the guy, but if you ever have trouble going to sleep, just swing by one of his lectures and you’ll be snoozing away in seconds.

      Only instead of listening to Mr. Reptenson, we were listening to some research guy who wore more pocket protectors than our entire chess club put together. At the moment he was droning on about the laboratory we were visiting—how they make those little video cameras that go into the human body to see what’s happening inside. Talk about interesting. It was so exciting that the entire class had broken out into a bad case of the yawns.

      But then, just as I was mastering the fine art of sleepwalking, we headed into this giant room with a huge machine that stretched all the way to the ceiling. Directly below it was some sort of minisubmarine mounted on a platform.

      What’s that? Opera, my best friend, shouted over his Walkman. Opera is always shouting something over his Walkman—usually it’s Where’s the dip? (The only thing he likes better than listening to Mozart is scarfing down multiple bags of potato chips.)

      This is our latest experiment, Mr. Pocket Protector beamed.

      I took another swig from my can of soda and actually found myself starting to listen.

      We’re just in the beginning stages, he explained, but someday we hope to miniaturize that submarine with the help of this Molecular Compressor Miniaturizer. He slapped his hand against the giant machine that towered above us. When that happens, we’ll be able to make the submarine small enough to actually enter the human body. Then we’ll be able to rove about making repairs from the inside.

      Hold the phone, Wall Street interrupted (she’s my other best friend—even if she is a girl). You mean this giant machine, this Molecular Whatchamacallit, can actually make things smaller?

      That’s right.

      Wow, Opera exclaimed. "Just like that movie, Honey, I Shrunk My Underwear?" (Opera doesn’t get out all that often.)

      Well, sort of, the man said. It’s still very much in the experimental stage, but someday we hope to put it to work. Now, if you’ll step with me into this next room, I’ll show you a fantastic video clip on the latest advances in optical enhancement. Everyone groaned as we started forward. Well, everyone but Wall Street.

      Pssst, she whispered. Hey, Wally?

      I threw a look over my shoulder. She was hanging toward the back of the group motioning for me to join her.

      I slowed down. What’s up? I asked.

      She glanced around and lowered her voice even more.

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1