The Youth Worker's Big Book of Case Studies: Not Quite a Million Stories That Beg Discussion

THE YOUTH WORKER’S BIG BOOK OF CASE STUDIES

NOT QUITE A MILLION STORIES THAT BEG DISCUSSION

YOUTH SPECIALTIES

THE YOUTH WORKER’S BIG BOOK OF CASE STUDIES NOT QUITE A MILLION STORIES THAT BEG DISCUSSION

Copyright © 2003 by Youth Specialties

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ePub Edition June 2009 ISBN: 0-310-86491-7

Youth Specialties Books, 300 South Pierce Street, El Cajon, CA 92020, are published by Zondervan, 5300 Patterson Aveune SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49530

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Case, Steven L., 1964-

  The youth worker's big book of case studies : not quite a million stories that beg discussion / by Steven L. Case.

    p. cm.

  ISBN-13: 978-0-310-25562-8

  1. Church group work with youth--Case studies. I. Title.

  BV4447.C3785 2004

  259'.23--dc22

2003015185

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version (North American Edition). Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan.

Some of the anecdotal illustrations in this book are true to life and are included with the permission of the persons involved. All other illustrations are composites of real situations, and any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or tranmitted in any f o rm or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

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Editorial by Rick Marschall

Edited by Jim Kochenburger

Proofreading by Anita Palmer

Cover design by ArtParts

Design assistance by Sarah Jongsma

Editorial Assistance by Ted Marschall

05 06 07 / VGM / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Cover Page

Title Page

Copyright

1. The Incredible Shrinking Youth Group

2. Teacher's Pet

3. Obey The Rules of Youth Ministry

4. My Brother's Shadow

5. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

6. Free Cookies-Kindness Gone Bad

7. Home Sweet Home or Battle Zone?

8. Thou Shalt Not Borrow

9. In the Dark

10. Leave it to Beaver

11. Shower the People...With Love?

12. Cleaning Jesus

13. You Smell Smoke?

14. Broken Memories

15. Out of the Comfort Zone

16. Getting High

17. Long Lost Friend

18. The Scoop

19. My Sister's Keeper

20. Joyful Noise

21 . The Report Card

22. Across the Board

23. The Jerk

24. God Calling

25. Not Amused

26. Where There's Smoke

27. Shattered

28. Face Time

29. Smokin'

30. Making the Grade

31. Restricted Viewing

32. Kelly Green

33. Your Boy is Back in Town

34. Your Boy is Back in Town Part 2

35. What You Wish For

36. Packing Heat?

37. The Morning After

38. Making the Grade

39. Missed it By That Much

40. Keeping it Warm

41 . A Family Addiction

42. Little Lies

43. Out With a Bang

44. Values? What Values?

45. Get a Room!

46. Wallflower

47. Strike One

48. Family Tradition

49. Who is My Sister?

50. The Flu Medicine

51. Making Room or Opening the Door?

52. Party Girl

53. Backstage

54. Anger Wins

55. I Am So Proud of My Kids

56. Chameleon

57. Hot Instant Message

58. That Boy

59. Whatever it Takes

60. Security

61. Driving

62. The Day Off

63. Trivial

64. Hero Worship

65. Beyond Belief

66. Elsewhere

67. Temple Faith

68. Made Whole

69. Memorial

70. Like That

71. Sunshine

72. Missed

73. Embarrassed

74. Invited

75. Calling Home

76. All Prayers

77. Unwelcome

78. Shot

79. Perfect to Imperfect

80. Adult Education

81. Lessons Learned

82. Party Plans

83. Customer Satisfaction

84. Only Constant in Life: Change

85. Dressing Up

86. The View From Here

87. Intrusion

88. Down to Size

89. Four-Time Failure

90. Memory Loss

91. Over-Developed?

92. The Right to Vote

93. Listen Up!

94. This Far

95. More Than Close?

96. Learning Lessons

97. Left Alone

98. Best Laid Plans

99. Christmas Complaints

100. Reserving Judgment

101. No Word

102. Take Up the Cross

103. On a Mission

104. Sanctuary

105. Green

106. Standing Up

107. Results

108. Conflict

109. Most Likely

110. Opening Up

111. No Gifts

112. Turning Pages

113. Waitress Wanted

114. Left Unsaid

115. Women's Rights

116. Just Words?

117. Un-steady

118. Out of the Dark

119. Home Cooking?

120. Welcome?

121. A Team of One

122. Plan B

123. The Face of Jesus

124. What Happens

125. Part of the Game

126. Red and Blue

127. New Creation

128. Developments

129. No Stopping

130. Same Old, Same Old

131. Distance

132. Score

133. Staying Put

134. In the Cards

135. Home for the Holidays

136. Reason for the Season

137. Worship

138. Score

139. To Burn or Not to Burn?

140. Joyful?

141. Confirmed

142. Cheer

143. Crossing the Line

144. References

145. Eye of the Beholder

146. My Way

147. Snapshot

148. Party On

149. For the Glory

150. Appearances

151. Sides

152. Help Me

153. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

154. Surfacing

155. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Part 2

156. Not My Girl

157. Truth, Justice, and the American Way

158. Spike

159. Jesus Who?

160. Promises, Promises

161. Hallie's Friend

162. Is This it?

163. Corners

164. Fessing Up

165. Like a Prayer

166. Old-Fashioned

167. Sharing

168. Dreamers

169. Screen

170. Garret's History

171. What Mom Doesn't Know

172. Nothing Happened

173. The People in Your Neighborhood

174. Uncertain Terms

175. Fun And Games

176. It's An Art

177. Twist

178. Destruction

179. Like a Man

180. And They'll Know We Are Christians

181. Witness

182. Ammunition

183. Coming Attractions

184. Honor

185. Paying The Price

About the Publisher

Share Your Thoughts

TABLE OF CATEGORIES

CATEGORY                                         CASE STUDY NUMBER

Church.................................................. 24, 29, 40, 65, 66, 67, 75, 100, 103, 104

Family.................................................. 110, 118, 119, 127, 131, 135, 136, 156, 168, 41, 45, 48, 55, 61, 68, 69, 76, 81 , 88, 92, 93, 94, 96, 98, 99, 156, 170, 171, 173, 179, 180, 182, 184, 185

Friends 25, 28, 31 , 33, 34, 38, 56, 63, 82, 114, 139, 147, 149, 153, 155, 159, 161, 183

Friendship.................................................. 95

Growing Up.................................................. 27, 32, 71, 84, 89, 91, 102, 111, 120, 122, 124, 128, 133, 140, 141, 143, 162, 164, 181

Prevent/Teen.................................................. 129

Real Life Stuff.................................................. 72, 90, 97, 101

School.................................................. 26, 30, 35, 36, 37, 39, 42, 43, 46, 53, 54, 64, 70, 77, 78, 80, 83, 87, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 112, 115, 116,121, 130, 132, 138, 145, 146, 150, 151, 152, 158, 163, 174, 176

Serious Stuff.................................................. 47, 49, 50, 51 , 52, 59, 60

Sex/Dating.................................................. 117, 126, 137, 148, 160, 165, 167, 172, 175

Stuff Happens.................................................. 123, 125

Work.................................................. 62, 113, 134, 142, 144, 154, 157, 166, 169, 177, 178

INTRODUCTION

Craig Wilson, the noted speaker and performer, once said, You shouldn't have smoke coming out of the windows in the youth room...you should have FLAMES.

That's what this book is intended to incite.

The Youth Worker's Big Book of Case Studies is not an easy book to use. It will not give you warm and fuzzy feelings about Jesus. It will not take difficult situations and wrap them up in pretty packages with happy-ever-after endings.

This book will give you a place to start those wonderfully loud discussions that will make the walls of the youth room vibrate. Herein you will find difficult situations that will make your students glad they are not the ones in the stories—although they very well could be. Some of the stories are fairly light in tone; others will make your teens (and maybe you, too) uncomfortable.

This book will not give you any easy answers. In fact it will give you a lot of difficult questions.

It also provides you with scripture references that might have the effect of throwing gasoline on the fire instead of making kids feel better. There are no answers, let alone easy ones, to some of the things that life throws at us.

Most of these studies do not have conclusions. The conclusion must take place in the youth room and in the hearts and minds of the kids in the days that follow the sessions flowing from this book.

Here are some things we've designed in the book to make it user-friendly: The Case Studies are categorized, so you can present what you want—or need—to your kids. But they are arranged at random, just like life. Therefore we have more than the usual Table of Contents: 1) a normal list of Case Studies as they appear in the book. 2) a Table of Categories, so you can reference the major themes, which are also ID'd on each page. 3) a Table of Topics, in which we highlight the variant themes or sub-plots, so you can be more creative in picking, choosing, and combining lessons; these are ID'd on the edge of every page, like a file folder.

Then on appropriate pages, we have provided areas where you can take notes and make notes. When reading a Case Study, you might be reminded of something personal to you that can enrich the story when you share it; or some comments that might warn students of content or make a point more meaningful; or you might want to construct a variation. Make notes. Also, on the Questions side of the Case Studies, note taking/making areas invite you to add your own challenges and applications for students, add Bible verses that speak to you in a different way, or prompt you to direct discussions in a certain direction. This book should be a workbook of kids-under-construction, not a collection of mere stories, lists, and scripts.

Our job as youth workers is not always to find the answers but to ask the questions that need asking and let the discussion go where it goes. Let's trust the Holy Spirit to do the rest.

Being a Christian is hard. Jesus did not promise to solve all our problems for us. He did, however, promise to be there, beside us, through everything. The stories here deal with topics like integrity, honesty, faith, love, family, and all the rest of the things that drive us crazy. And they are presented primarily to get your students to do something we almost never ask them to do in the church...THINK.

CHURCH

COMMITMENT, PLEASURE VS. PURPOSFUL YOUTH MEETINGS

1 THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING YOUTH GROUP

Dan belongs to the youth group at a church that hired a new youth minister a year ago this week. Under the previous youth minister, youth meetings were always a fun place to go on Sundays. Every week 50 to 60 teenagers showed up. In addition, they had a youth group calendar packed with cool activities, like concerts, ski trips and amusement park trips.

Over the past year, under the new youth minister, attendance has dropped from a weekly average of 50 teenagers to just 15. The group has gotten a lot more serious. Instead of fun ski weekends, the group goes and works at homeless shelters and participates in work-camps-helping fix up homes for poor people. The new youth minister has serious discussions and asks hard questions about life and the future-stuff that Dan doesn't want to think about.

A bunch of Dan's friends who no longer come have invited him to a church a few miles away that's like how their youth group used to be. It seems everybody is going there. Dan has to decide which group he would like to belong to.

1 What's the big deal?

1 Does it matter which youth group Dan attends? Why?

1 Aren't the fun and fellowship in the other group important as well as the serious stuff in Dan's youth group? Why?

1 Should a youth group be more fun or more serious? Why? (What are the positive reasons for having a fun youth group? Negatives? What are the positive reasons for having a serious youth group? Negatives?)

1 What are the most important things Dan should consider as he decides between youth groups?

1 What's the difference between learning and being taught?

1 What's important in this situation?

0310255627_content_0010_016 Matthew 13:9; Romans 8:28

1 Think back over your life from a year or so ago to now. When have you grown the most as a person? Explain.

1 How does your experience apply to Dan's decision?

1 If you were Dan, what would you do?

SCHOOL

ADULTS, HOMEWORK, PEER PRESSURE

2 TEACHER'S PET

David has Mr. Hawthorne as his teacher for two classes. Nobody likes Mr. Hawthorne. He gives a tremendous amount of homework and doesn't seem to care about his student's personal schedules and he doesn't put up with any fooling around. He has assigned more detentions and called more parent conferences than any other teacher. For some reason, Mr. Hawthorne likes David. He respects his work and says David shows promise.

Spring Break is coming up and Mr. Hawthorne traditionally assigns a huge term paper to be turned in the day school resumes. Several of David's friends have asked him to use his influence with Mr. Hawthorne to talk him out of the assignment in order to protect their cool Spring Break plans.

David doesn't want to fall from Mr. Hawthorne's good graces, but he does want to have a good time on Spring Break with his friends.

1 Is this teacher's expectation reasonable? Why?

1 How easy is it to tell your friends No?

1 How much respect do your teachers get from the students in your classes? How much do they get from you?

1 Is respect earned or is it given to everyone, until you have reason to do otherwise?

1 Who was the best teacher you ever had? Not your favorite but the one who was best at their job?

1 Should the students just stop moaning, suck it up and do the assignment? At what point? Why?

1 How difficult a situation is David in? Explain.

0310255627_content_0010_016 Matthew 5:14-16 1 Timothy 4:14

1 What role does pleasure-seeking play in David's difficult situation? Explain.

1 If you were David, what would you do to be respectful to Mr. Hawthorne? How would you respond to your friends?

CHURCH

MINISTRY, REJECTION, RULES

3 OBEY THE RULES OF YOUTH MINISTRY

Becca is a talented artist. When her friend Nicole was injured and had surgery on her knee, Becca visited her in the hospital and painted a Hawaiian beach scene on Nicole's cast. The woman who shared the room asked Becca if she would paint a design on her cast as well.

Before she knew it, Becca had done more than 20 paintings on various patients' casts in the hospital. She made friends with the nurses and the patients loved her artwork.

Several doctors complained that patients were not resting and staying in their rooms—they had taken to wandering around showing off their cast artwork.

One doctor told a nurse to ask Becca not to paint casts any-more since it was interfering in her patient's care (and the patients of other doctors). Becca has been considering this a mission or a ministry of her own.

She is heartbroken over not being allowed to paint casts anymore.

1 What is the most important part of recovering from an operation or broken bone?

1 What is most important to the healing process?

1 Why would the doctors want their patients in their rooms?

1 When you come up against rules that keep you from doing something you want to do, how should you respond? Why? What about when rules keep you from doing something you feel God wants you to do, how should you respond?

1 Is it important for Becca to try and understand the doctor's rules? Why?

1 Should Becca obey the doctor's rules? Why?

1 Define mission.

1 What is the best way to react when a kindness you want to show is rejected/ stopped by another person? Explain.

1 Are most rules put in place for a reason? Can you think of an example?

1 What happened to some of God's best messengers?

0310255627_content_0010_016 Psalm 103:1 Luke 19:40

1 How does this passage apply to Becca's situation?

1 How can Becca best let her light shine...by painting people's casts or by obeying the doctor's rules? Why?

1 Would you go back to the hospital? Why?

TAKE NOTES/MAKE NOTES

FAMILY

SIBLING RIVALRY, PARENTS, DEATH

4 MY BROTHER'S SHAPOW

Rich is 16 years old. He had an older brother named Mike. When they were little, Mike was diagnosed with MS. Their mom soon spent all of her time taking care of Mike. As a result, Rich often felt lost in the shuffle when he was younger.

Most things the family did were for Mike. The family schedule revolved around Mike. Mike's surgery and treatments kept the family strapped for cash and they went without things other families had.

Mike died last year. The family was devastated by the loss. After awhile Rich hoped he could build a close relationship with his mother, only to find that even Mike's memory caused her to shut him out completely.

She always talked about Mike and shared favorite memories. She barely acknowledged Rich's achievements and good qualities.

When Rich brought home his first-ever report card with all As and Bs his mom only said I remember when Mike got straight As. Rich talked to his dad but he dad only said the Mom will come around—give her