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    Discussion and Lesson Starters
    Discussion and Lesson Starters
    Discussion and Lesson Starters
    Ebook531 pages

    Discussion and Lesson Starters

    By Youth Specialties

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    About this ebook

    More than 200 proven openers, questions, and activities that get students involved in your lessons! - A Primer on Leading Discussions . . . Starting a discussion, and keeping it going . . . The importance of confidentiality . . . Asking questions that get responses . . . And working with different personalities. - 35 Creative ways to start a discussion or lesson on any topic . . .Techniques general enough to fit just about any subject, but still quirky enough to attract adolescent attention. - Discussion & Lesson Starters, By Topic . . . What subject are you teaching this week? First, look up your subject -- apologetics, attitude, dating, disabilities, faith, family, the will of God . . . And more than 30 main topics, all arranged alphabetically. Then choose the opener that fits your purposes and your group. In fact, many of these openers are virtually complete lessons in themselves, with questions, activities, parables, object lessons -- all designed to draw opinions, thoughts, and feelings from your students. Whether you're a youth worker or recreation director in a church, school, club, or camp -- Discussion & Lesson Starters is your storehouse of proven, youth-group tested ideas.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherZondervan
    Release dateMar 1, 2011
    ISBN9780310861713
    Discussion and Lesson Starters
    Author

    Youth Specialties

    Por más de treinta años Especialidades Juveniles a trabajado con líderes de jóvenes cristianos de todas las denominaciones. Están allí para ayudarle, sin importar si es un joven ministro o un veterano, un voluntario o un pastor de carrera. Cada año apoyan a más de cien mil líderes alrededor del mundo a través de seminarios de entrenamiento, convenciones, recursos y la Internet.

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      Book preview

      Discussion and Lesson Starters - Youth Specialties

      discussion

      & LESSON STARTERS

      THE ideas LIBRARY

      FOR YOUTH GROUPS

      discussion

      & LESSON STARTERS

      THE ideas LIBRARY

      FOR YOUTH GROUPS

      Contents

      Cover

      Title Page

      ALPHABETICAL LIST OF EVERY IDEA IN THIS BOOK

      THE IDEAS LIBRARY

      A PRIMER ON LEADING DISCUSSIONS

      35 CREATIVE WAYS TO START A DISCUSSION OR LESSON ON ANY TOPIC

      GROUPERS

      NO-RISK DISCUSSION

      TAPE TALK

      TEXTIMONY SERVICE

      YARN-SHARING EXPERIENCE

      MYSTERY GIFTS

      MYSTERY GUEST

      RELAY DISCUSSION

      SPOTLIGHT MEETING

      WISHING WELL

      CURING DISCUSSION DOMINATORS

      HUMAN CONTINUUM

      LEGOS GAME

      STRAW PICTURES

      STUDY BUBBLE

      TRUTH OR DARE

      TALK IT OVER

      PHOBIA MONTH

      HANGMAN LESSONS

      LIGHTS ON, LIGHTS OFF

      WORD PICTURES

      CRISIS RESPONSE

      RUG DISCUSSION

      SPIRITUAL ADVENTURELAND

      SITCOM DISCUSSION

      TRIANGULAR TEACHING

      FISH BOWL

      ON THE SPOT

      VIDEO INTROS

      CHUTES AND LADDERS

      HOW DO YOU FEEL?

      KIDS ON CAMPUS

      NAME THAT SIN!

      STUMP THE SPEAKER

      THIS BOTHERS ME

      DISCUSSION & LESSON STARTERS, BY TOPIC

      APOLOGETICS

      CHRISTIANITY QUESTIONNAIRE

      ATTITUDE

      ALL TIED UP

      BODY OF CHRIST

      HANGING FROM THE VINE

      YELLOW BRICK ROAD

      BODY PUZZLE

      DEPENDENCE MEAL

      JIGSAW PUZZLE OBJECT LESSON

      BODY LIFE GAME

      FOOTBALL STADIUM

      MISFIT

      COMMUNITY

      MY WORLD

      CO-OPERATIVE PLAY CAR RELAY

      SIMULATED PLANNING MEETING

      PARABLE OF THE PLANTS

      CORINTHIANS, CANDLES, AND COOPERATION

      THE RECIPROCAL COMMANDS

      APPENDICES, UNITE!

      CHRISTIAN LIFE & CHRISTIANITY

      MY LIFE, CHRIST’S HOME

      SIGNS OF THE TIMES

      WHAT IS A CHRISTIAN?

      WHAT KIND OF CHRISTIAN ARE YOU?

      ABC CHRISTIANITY

      CHURCH, LOCAL

      TYPICAL SUNDAY IN CHURCH PHOTO

      THE LIFE-SAVING STATION

      PHOENIX GAME

      IDEAL CHURCH

      VALUES IN THE CHURCH

      THE MAN FROM ICK

      CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE

      BLACK ARM BANDS

      CLIQUES

      FELLOWSHIP GAME

      CLIQUES

      SKITS ABOUT CLIQUES

      CLIQUES AND LONERS

      THE COOLS AND THE NERDS

      YOUR MAJESTY

      COMMUNITY (SEE BODY OF CHRIST)

      COUNSELING

      SAYING THE RIGHT THING

      ROLE REVERSAL

      HOW CAN I HELP?

      DATING

      DATING DATA

      DATING ROUND ROBIN

      DATING QUIZZES

      DISABILITIES

      PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES

      HANDS

      UNDERSTANDING PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES

      IMAGINE

      DISCERNMENT

      THE REAL THING

      FRIEND OR FOE

      TRUTH OR DECEPTION

      FAITH

      LET’S PRETEND

      WORD GAME

      THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ME

      ROLE BOWL

      ROUTINE AND HUMDRUM

      UNFAIR

      THE CRUTCH WALKERS

      FAITH INVENTORY

      PICTURE TESTIMONIES

      FAMILY

      FAMILY CROSSWORD

      PERFECT PAIR

      FAITH SCULPTING

      FAMILY CHOICES

      DEAR AMY LETTERS

      PARENT OPINIONS

      PARENT BLUNDERS, TEEN GOOFS

      HOW TO RAISE YOUR PARENTS

      PARENT-TEEN EYE-OPENER

      THE PARENTING GAME

      FEAR

      ROTATING FEAR

      FREEDOM

      FREEDOM FOR ALL

      REALIZING OUR NEED FOR GOD

      FUTURE

      FUTURE WORLD

      FUTURE FANTASY

      LOOKING AHEAD TO HIGH SCHOOL

      TABLOID PROPHECIES

      GAZING INTO THE FUTURE

      FANTASY REUNION

      GAMBLING

      WIN, LOSE, OR NO!

      GODHEAD (FATHER, SON, HOLY SPIRIT)

      MODERN DAY JESUS

      NAME THAT JESUS

      DESCRIBE THE COUNSELOR

      MATTHEW ONE

      YOUR GOD IS TOO SMALL

      INVENT

      LONG-DISTANCE ROLE PLAY

      CREATION, GOD, AND YOU

      GOD IS LIKE…

      GRAVEN IMAGES

      ATTRIBUTE ADS

      CANNED ILLUSTRATION

      EGG IN A BOTTLE

      TO TELL THE (HOLY SPIRIT) TRUTH

      HEAVEN

      HEAVENLY TRIP

      HOLY SPIRIT (SEE GODHEAD)

      HUMILITY

      LAMED VOVNIK CONVENTION

      INDIVIDUALITY (SEE SELF-IMAGE)

      JESUS (SEE GOD)

      JUDGING OTHERS

      LETHAL LABELS

      LEGALISM

      NEW RULES

      LEGALISM STROLL

      MARRIAGE

      DATING AND MARRIAGE

      TO MARRY OR NOT TO MARRY

      TWENTY-FIVE CENT MATE

      MONEY

      BIRTHDAY LIST

      THE WEALTH WE WEAR

      20th-CENTURY TALENTS

      UNFAIR MONEY PRACTICE

      SHOPPING SPREE

      THE GAME OF LIFE

      MORALITY (SEE SEXUALITY, VALUES)

      MUSIC

      AMERICAN BANDSTAND

      ROCK MUSIC COUNCIL

      MUSICAL BLANKS

      MUSIC IN THE BIBLE

      THE MUSIC OF THE GOSPEL

      MUSIC MESSAGES

      REWRITING ROCK

      PARENTS (SEE FAMILY)

      PATIENCE

      PATIENCE ROLE PLAY

      PRAYER

      PRAYER SURVEY

      SCREWTAPE LETTERS

      CLICHé PRAYERS

      PRAYER BAG

      PLEASE ANSWER MY PRAYER

      PRAYER CANDLES

      PRAYERS IN THE WIND

      PRAYER LAB

      PRAYEROBICS

      RELATIONSHIPS

      LOVE LISTS

      MAKE WAY FOR THE QUEEN

      SCRIPTURE MEMORY

      HIDDEN TREASURE

      COMMERCIALS FOR BIBLE MEMORY

      SELF-IMAGE

      FIRST IMPRESSION COLLAGE

      IMAGINARY ME

      THE INDIVIDUALITY GAME

      WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME

      WHAT’S NUMBER ONE?

      APPLES AND YOU

      MAP OF ME

      HOW GOD SEES ME

      SHOES OF CHRIST

      SHOW AND TELL

      THE TATOR FAMILY

      REFLECTIONS IN A ROCK

      EGO TALK

      HOW MANY F’S?

      SEXUAL PURITY (SEE ALSO VALUES)

      THE C.O.N.D.O.M

      SPEECH

      PERSONAL SPEECH INVENTORY

      SPIRITUAL GROWTH

      SPIRITUAL PILGRIMAGE

      WHERE ARE YOU LETTER

      GRAB-BAG TESTIMONIES

      M.U.S.T

      HELLO GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?

      SPIRITUAL GROWTH CHART

      STEREOTYPES

      STEREOTYPES

      THANKFULNESS

      COUNTING BIBLICAL BLESSINGS

      THANKSGIVING EXCHANGE

      TRINITY (SEE GODHEAD)

      TRUST IN OTHERS

      TRUST TEST

      OBSTACLE ILLUSION

      UNITY (SEE BODY OF CHRIST)

      VALUES

      WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

      WAR GAMES

      THE FOOD STORE ROBBERY

      MONITORING YOUR MORALS

      PAUL’S DILEMMA

      EUTHANASIA ON TRIAL

      FREE ASSOCIATION GAME

      DECISION

      IF SURVEY

      VALUE TRADING GAME

      EARTHLING COLLAGE

      MANAGING YOUR TIME

      NO OTHER GODS

      LIFE SKILLS

      THE MORAL OF THE STORY

      PICTURE THAT

      PRIORITY AUCTION

      FACE TO FACE

      PROBLEM LETTER

      FOTO-MATCH

      GOSPEL ACCORDING TO DEAR ABBY

      VULNERABILITY

      BROKEN BANANA

      Wealth (see Money)

      WILL OF GOD

      WILL OF GOD

      THE ENVELOPE, PLEASE

      HOW GOD WORKS IN MY LIFE

      About the Publisher

      Share Your Thoughts

      SO WHAT MEETING STARTER HAVE YOU USED LATELY THAT SNARED YOUR GROUP’S ATTENTION OR LAUNCHED FURIOUS DISCUSSION?

      Are your kids still talking about that opener—the one with the live cat, a bag, and a seventh grade volunteer? Youth Specialties pays $40 (and in some cases, more) for unpublished, field-tested ideas that have worked for you.

      You’ve probably been in youth work long enough to realize that sanitary, theoretical, tidy ideas aren’t what in-the-trenches youth workers are looking for. They want—you want—imagination and take-'em-by-surprise novelty in meetings, parties, and other events. Ideas that have been tested and tempered and improved in the very real, very adolescent world you work in.

      So here’s what to do:

      • Sit down at your computer, get your killer discussion or lesson starter out of your head and onto your hard drive, then e-mail it to Ideas@YouthSpecialties.com. Or print it off and fax it to 619-440-0582 (Attn: Ideas).

      • If you need to include diagrams, photos, art, or samples that help explain your idea, stick it all in an envelope and mail it to our street address: Ideas, 300 S. Pierce St., El Cajon, CA 92020.

      • Be sure to include your name, home & work addresses, phone numbers, and e-mail address.

      • Let us have a few months to give your idea a thumbs up or down*, and a little longer for your money.

      *Hey, no offense intended if your idea isn’t accepted. It’s just that our fussy Ideas Library editor has these really meticulous standards. If the discussion or lesson starter isn’t creative, original, and just plain fun in an utterly wild or delightful way, she’ll reject it, (reluctantly, though, because she has a tender heart.) Sorry. But we figure you deserve only the best ideas.

      ALPHABETICAL LIST

      OF ALL IDEAS IN DISCUSSION AND LESSON STARTERS

      ABC Christianity

      All Tied Up

      American Bandstand

      Appendices, Unite!

      Apples and You

      Attribute Ads

      Birthday List

      The Black Arm Bands

      Body Life Game

      Body Puzzle

      Broken Banana

      Canned Illustration

      Christianity Questionnaire

      Chutes and Ladders

      Cliché Prayers

      Cliques and Loners

      Cliques

      Commercials for Bible Memory

      Community

      The C.O.N.D.O.M.

      The Cools and the Nerds

      Co-Operative Play Car Relay

      Corinthians, Candles,

      and Cooperation

      Counting Biblical Blessings

      Creation, God, and You

      Crisis Response

      The Crutch Walkers

      Curing Discussion Dominators

      Dating and Marriage

      Dating Data

      Dating Quizzes

      Dating Round Robin

      Dear Amy Letters

      Decision

      Dependence Meal

      Describe the Counselor

      Earthling Collage

      Egg in a Bottle

      Ego Talk

      The Envelope Please,

      Euthanasia on Trial

      Face to Face

      Faith Inventory

      Faith Sculpting

      Family Choices

      Family Crossword

      Fantasy Reunion

      Fellowship Game

      First Impression Collage

      Fish Bowl

      The Food Store Robbery

      Football Stadium

      Foto-Match

      Free Association Game

      Freedom for All

      Friend or Foe

      Future Fantasy

      Future World

      The Game of Life

      Gazing into the Future

      God Is Like…

      Gospel According to Dear Abby

      The Gospel According to Me

      Grab-Bag Testimonies

      Graven Images

      Groupers

      Hands

      Hanging from the Vine

      Hangman Lessons

      Heavenly Trip

      Hello God, Where Are You?

      Hidden Treasure

      How Can I Help?

      How Do You Feel?

      How God Sees Me

      How God Works in My Life

      How Many Fs?

      How to Raise Your Parents

      Human Continuum

      Ideal Church

      If Survey

      Imaginary Me

      Imagine

      The Individuality Game

      Invent

      Jigsaw Puzzle Object Lesson

      Kids on Campus

      Lamed Vovnik Convention

      Legalism Stroll

      Legos Game

      Let’s Pretend

      Lethal Labels

      The Life-Saving Station

      Life Skills

      Lights On,

      Lights Off

      Long-Distance Role Play

      Looking Ahead to High School

      Love Lists

      Make Way for the Queen

      The Man from Ick

      Managing Your Time

      Map of Me

      Matthew One

      Misfit

      Modern Day Jesus

      Monitoring Your Morals

      The Moral of the Story

      Music in the Bible

      Music Messages

      The Music of the Gospel

      Musical Blanks

      M.U.S.T.

      My Life, Christ’s Home

      My World

      Mystery Gifts

      Mystery Guest

      Name That Jesus

      Name That Sin!

      New Rules

      No Other Gods

      No-Risk Discussion

      Obstacle Illusion

      On the Spot

      Parable of the Plants

      Parent Blunders,

      Teen Goofs

      Parent Opinions

      The Parenting Game

      Parent-Teen Eye-Opener

      Patience Role Play

      Paul’s Dilemma

      Perfect Pair

      Personal Speech Inventory

      Persons with Disabilities

      Phobia Month

      Phoenix Game

      Picture Testimonies

      Picture That

      Please Answer My Prayer

      Prayer Bag

      Prayer Candles

      Prayer Lab

      Prayer Survey

      Prayerobics

      Prayers in the Wind

      Priority Auction

      Problem Letter

      The Real Thing

      Realizing Our Need for God

      The Reciprocal Commands

      Reflections in a Rock

      Relay Discussion

      Rewriting Rock

      Rock Music Council

      Role Bowl

      Role Reversal

      Rotating Fear

      Routine and Humdrum

      Rug Discussion

      Saying the Right Thing

      Screwtape Letters

      Shoes of Christ

      Shopping Spree

      Show and Tell

      Simulated Planning Meeting

      Signs of the Times

      Sitcom Discussions

      Skits about Cliques

      Spiritual Adventureland

      Spiritual Growth Chart

      Spiritual Pilgrimage

      Spotlight Meeting

      Stereotypes

      Straw Pictures

      Study Bubble

      Stump the Speaker

      Tabloid Prophecies

      Talk It Over

      Tape Talk

      The Tator Family

      Textimony Service

      Thanksgiving Exchange

      This Bothers Me

      To Marry or Not to Marry

      To Tell the (Holy Spirit) Truth

      Triangular Teaching

      Trust Test

      Truth or Dare

      Truth or Deception

      20th-Century Talents

      Twenty-Five Cent Mate

      Typical Sunday in Church Photo

      Understanding Persons with Disabilities

      Unfair

      Unfair Money Practice

      Value Trading Game

      Values in the Church

      Video Intros

      War Games

      The Wealth We Wear

      What Is a Christian?

      What Kind of Christian Are You?

      What Others Think of Me

      What Would You Do?

      What’s Number One?

      Where Are You Letter

      Will of God

      Win, Lose, or No!

      Wishing Well

      Word Game

      Word Pictures

      Yarn-Sharing Experience

      Yellow Brick Road

      Your God Is Too Small

      Your Majesty

      THE IDEAS LIBRARY

      Administration, Publicity, & Fundraising

      Camps, Retreats, Missions, & Service Ideas

      Creative Meetings, Bible Lessons, & Worship Ideas

      Crowd Breakers & Mixers

      Discussion & Lesson Starters

      Discussion & Lesson Starters 2

      Drama, Skits, & Sketches

      Drama, Skits, & Sketches 2

      Drama, Skits, & Sketches 3

      Games

      Games 2

      Games 3

      Holiday Ideas

      Special Events

      Ideas Library on CD-Rom

      A PRIMER ON LEADING DISCUSSIONS

      Starting a discussion, and keeping it going … the importance of confidentiality … asking questions that get responses … and working with different personalities.

      STARTING A DISCUSSION—

      AND KEEPING IT GOING

      Consider these 10 tips for creating a comfortable small-group atmosphere—a necessary quality if you want all students to enjoy participating.

      1. Encourage your students to verbalize their views and feelings, however unorthodox those thoughts may be.

      Nothing stifles a discussion faster than when kids don’t feel safe to say what they feel. Small groups should be a place where adolescents can be honest about what they’re thinking and feeling—no matter what’s on their mind. What students discover for themselves remains with them far longer than anything you tell them. Be slow to correct them, but, instead, let them think through their own responses. This is usually a better way for them to make genuine and lasting discoveries about God.

      2. Be grateful for every answer.

      Yes, every answer. Leaders can also stifle discussion by inadvertently making students feel silly or dumb about their responses and comments. Your job is to create a safe place for kids to say whatever they want—and be appreciated for it. Sure, if you work with seventh grade males, you’ll need to gently redirect the tangents that pop up every three minutes. (Hmmm … seventh grade males … did we say gently?) But it’s generally better to encourage freedom of speech. Your kids will trust you (and themselves) more.

      3. Don’t be satisfied with the first response to your question.

      Avoid setting a question-answer-question-answer pattern. Here’s a better way to start a discussion. Ask for several responses to your question, then provoke the speakers to dialogue with each other. That is, move them from merely answering toward discussing or conversing—with each other, not just with you. Start the ball rolling in this direction by asking Why do you think that? and What do the rest of you think?

      4. Keep the discussion moving.

      A Bible study that does not move along at a good pace tends to get dull. Notice when kids are starting to lose interest, then quickly move on to the next question. If you must choose your evils, choose frustrated students who wanted to spend more time resolving an issue—not bored students who have been gradually distancing themselves from the 30-minute discussion between you and one other student. Jesus, you remember, often left questions unanswered. It helps people think for themselves.

      5. Be alert to the individuals in your group.

      Be aware of what’s going on with your kids as they come to your small group. In fact, you may want to reserve the first few minutes of your small group for small talk and sharing. During your Bible study, notice when a student begins speaking, but stops. Look beyond those who are monopolizing the discussion, and deliberately ask other, quieter students for their responses. You’ll never stop some personalities from standing out in your group; others will insist on staying in the background. That’s okay. Your goal is to make every student feel that he or she is an important member of your group, whether or not that person contributes a lot to the discussion.

      6. Don’t be afraid of silence.

      If your question gets no immediate response from a student, don’t feel you have to jump in and answer it yourself. Let the question linger in the air for a while. And let kids know this, too. In fact, silence is often an answer in itself—or can be a necessary prelude to a deeply felt response. Of course, if every question you ask is met with prolonged silence, you may need to take a hard look at the kinds of questions you’re asking. (More on asking good questions in Ask Questions That Get Responses on page 5.)

      7. Turn difficult questions back to the group.

      If you’re intimidated by a student with a tough question, join the crowd. Yet that very question, tough as it may be, can give you a chance to get a lively discussion going. Don’t think you have to try to answer it—try turning the question back to the group instead: Whoa, good question. What do the rest of you think? You may get some wild answers, but the students will be encouraged to think for themselves rather than to look to you for answers. If a question remains unresolved, now and then challenge your small group to find the answer by your next meeting. (A prize can add some motivation here.)

      8. Let your group self-correct its tangents.

      The technique of turning a question back to the group is also a remedy for wild tangents. Don’t just tell the student that he or she is wrong—ask instead, What do the rest of you think? Chances are as students give their input, the group will correct itself. This also encourages your students to dialogue with each other instead of directing their dialogue toward you.

      9. Stay flexible to the group’s needs.

      Sooner or later (usually sooner), a student will come to the small-group meeting with a specific, significant, and often immediate concern that needs to be addressed in the context of the small group. It may be an unresolved conflict between group members, a friend (perhaps there that night) who wants to know more about Christ, a recent death, an impending divorce. Now is the time to put aside your agenda and deal with the issue. This shouldn’t happen every week, however. Leading a small group requires the judgment to decide when an issue is sufficiently critical that you need to deal with it instead of leading your planned discussion.

      10. Be prepared to learn from your group.

      This is the sometimes the best part of leading a small group. Your weekly preparation, as well as the students’ feedback, can profoundly influence your own spiritual development. Ministry breeds maturity, and your ministry as a small-group leader will nurture your spiritual life as well as the spiritual lives of your students.

      THE IMPORTANCE OF CONFIDENTIALITY

      If you want kids to feel safe enough to share themselves deeply with others in their small group, then it’s up to you to establish trust and confidentiality. Some small-group leaders use a written or verbal agreement, committing signers to the principle that whatever is shared in the group stays in the group. They don’t tell their parents or their boyfriends the particulars of what they hear in their small group, and you don’t tell your spouse.

      If what you hear from a student during a meeting of your small group makes you think that a one-to-one talk would be appreciated or helpful, it is no breach of confidence for you to meet with the student over a hamburger later that week and talk personally.

      There are critical exceptions to this rule, of course. If a student confides anything that even hints at physical or sexual abuse, you are required by some state laws to report that information to law-enforcement authorities. Know ahead of time what course of action is required of you by your supervisor, your church, and your state if you hear inklings of self-destructive or addictive behavior from students in your small group. At least you will probably talk to such students privately, recommending professional help with specific names and numbers. Keep an up-to-date list of local referral agencies for this purpose.

      If confidence is broken in your group, deal with it immediately so that trust can be re-established. Meet privately with the group members who were involved, either individually or together, depending on circumstances. Your goal is to help kids learn when to share personal information with a third party, and when to keep such information to oneself.

      ASK QUESTIONS THAT GET RESPONSES

      Whether they’re personal questions, topical questions, or Bible study questions, the way you ask them can make the difference between lively small-group discussions and dead ones.

      Avoid yes or no questions.

      Stay away from questions that begin with Is there …?, Are they …? or Do you think …? Instead ask more why questions. For starters, run your questions by a friend before your small-group meeting and see if they’re dead-end yes-or-no questions, or if they provoke exploration, opinions, and discussion.

      Don’t ask questions that assume an answer.

      Asking How does Jesus show his anger in this passage? assumes that a) Jesus is angry, and b) there is a right answer you want your kids to discover. The problem with such questions is that they tell students too much without leaving students room to discover answers and insights themselves. A better question: What is Jesus feeling in this passage? Why do you think he feels this way? Get ready for a much more interesting discussion!

      Write questions that are relevant to your kids.

      Some good questions will spring to your mind during the meeting, but don’t rely on those. Instead spend some thinking time before the meeting—about where your kids are, what their maturity level is, what in the study is particularly relevant to your students—and thoughtfully write out most of your questions. Doing a Bible study on David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11)? Don’t ask What effect do you think David’s sin of adultery had on his life?—it’s not nearly as relevant to kids as What could David have done to keep from giving in to his lust for Bathsheba? Kids are more apt to talk if questions clearly reflect issues in their own lives—and what they learn from the ensuing discussions will be more valuable to their spiritual journeys.

      Learn how and when to ask direct questions.

      Direct questions like Sue, is Jesus the Lord of your life? may lead to meaningful dialogue, but only with the right people at the right time. The wrong time to ask questions this direct and personal is probably the small group’s first meeting. Try the less threatening How does Jesus become the Lord of your life? and open it up to the group in general instead of directing the question to an individual. As your small group grows in trust and openness between members, you can gradually use more direct questions to challenge your kids personally.

      Ask questions that deal with feelings as well as facts.

      Your goal is to engage your students’ hearts as well as their minds. It’s usually safer to deal with issues objectively (What sins in St. Paul’s list are teenagers at your school particularly inclined to?) rather than personally (What sins in St. Paul’s list should you give up?). Yet the longer your small group meets, the deeper and more personal your questions can become.

      WORKING WITH DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES

      You know what it’s like watching the individual personalities in a small group emerge—even if the small group is a family. Your challenge as a small-group leader is to learn to work with the personalities in your small group and help all your students grow individually even as they learn to function as a group.

      Here are six types of student personalities, most of which you’ll meet in a typical small group of teenagers. The aim isn’t to stereotype students, but to forewarn you of common traits and characteristics you’ll encounter in your small group—and then to help you find ways to minister more effectively to them.

      The Talker

      This is the student in your small group who never stops talking, who always has a comment for everything. You’re tempted to apply duct tape, but don’t—there are more productive ways to handle this student. First, position the Talker next to you when you begin your group, which reduces eye contact with her when you ask a question—and, when she interrupts someone, lets you reach over and touch her arm (usually a silent but effective cue). If you have a whole group of Talkers, you may want to try the ground rule

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