Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors: A Church Leader’s Guide to Staffing and Leading Youth Pastors

Mark Riddle’s Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors speaks boldly, intelligently, and practically to the critical issues and crises of local church youth ministry. Mark exhibits exceptional skill in going beneath the superficial assumptions to engage the heart and soul of the complex dance between senior pastors, parents, and youth pastors. This book corrects common mistakes and provokes creative thought about vibrant, enduring youth ministry. I’m honored to call Mark Riddle a good friend.

—Dr. John W. Frye, pastor, Fellowship Evangelical Covenant Church, Hudsonville, Michigan

Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors a combination of engaged thought, discernment, and experience from a seasoned youth ministry veteran. Mark Riddle engages us with the tough questions underlying our motives in youth ministry and prompts us to change for the better. A serious reading of this book will help congregations of all sizes and denominations overcome the constant cycle of hiring and losing youth pastors, pastors understand how to mentor and work cohesively with their youth pastors, and youth pastors develop a solid ideology for the orientation of their ministries.

—Dan Mayes, pastor, First Christian Church of Spencer, Iowa

Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors unlocks how to move from a youth pastor-centered ministry to one the whole church—even the senior pastor—believes in and participates in. Forthright yet disarmingly fun to read and talk about for non-anxious leaders ready to rethink the hiring process with a longer view. Riddle has drawn from years of consulting nationwide in youth ministry and packed this book with a truckload of wisdom. Church leaders wanting to staff and lead healthy, sustainable youth ministries will do well to remember the three Rs: Riddle…Really…Rocks.

—Greg Taylor, associate minister, Garnett Church of Christ; senior editor, Wineskins.org

Over the last three decades, youth ministry has rapidly matured as a profession, and the literature has struggled to keep pace. One of the gaping holes has been a thoughtful, practical handbook to help other church staff members, youth-education committees, parents, and others really understand what youth ministry is all about. Until now. Through Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors, Mark Riddle has given the church a gift. Filled with wisdom from his years as a youth pastor and youth ministry consultant, rife with real-life stories, and peppered with excellent discussion questions, this book promises to build a bridge from the often lonely island of youth ministry back to the rest of the church staff and the many others in churches who care about youth ministry but often struggle to understand it. Every church staff in America should work through this book.

—Tony Jones, author, Postmodern Youth Ministry: Exploring Cultural Shift, Cultivating Authentic Community, and Creating Holistic Connections and The New Christians: Dispatches from the Emergent Frontier

Churches can so easily screw up talented youth pastors! Leaders need to hire the right people and learn to manage them effectively to allow youth pastors and their ministries to thrive. Mark Riddle knows youth ministry inside and out and has so much wisdom and good advice to offer. I wholeheartedly endorse this book.

—Mark Russell, CEO, Church Army UK and Ireland (youth pastor in Ireland and London, 1997–2006)

It’s been said that pain and frustration is the gap between expectation and reality. Mark Riddle provides the practical tools necessary to navigate the oft-overlooked distance between a youth pastor and senior pastor. All senior pastors looking to create an open dialogue and healthy understanding of their student ministry pastors would benefit from the compelling ideas presented in this book.

—Steve Carter, kids + students pastor, Mars Hill Church

Most churches go through a youth pastor every couple of years. Why are so many mistakes made both hiring and developing youth pastors? I’ll tell you why…people didn’t read and heed Mark Riddle’s wisdompacked book, Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors. Do your church, students, and future youth pastor a favor and read this book before you hire the next one.

—Dan Webster, founder, Authentic Leadership, Inc.

Mark Riddle has offered a great tool for those looking to start or improve a relationship with a youth pastor. The issues he addresses are vital to a healthy ministry environment on both sides of the coin. Well illustrated with the safe ‘someone I know’ stories, Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors will ease tension and get to the heart of the matter in the most challenging situations involving the search, hiring, and support of those who work with students in churches. The questions for discussion included in each chapter will benefit any church-staff relationship, and Mark’s insight and tested advice gives a feeling of hope. Well done Mark!

—Rev. Scott Kail, pastor to students, Piedmont (California) Community Church

Mark Riddle succinctly—and sometimes with playful illustrations about 35-pound raccoons—points the way to connecting youth with God in Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors. Rather than outsourcing ministry, Mark describes and walks us through an evaluative look at ministry via relationships. His conversation with us goes beyond the polarities of purpose-driven versus program-driven; it instead considers a relationship-centered youth ministry. Join Mark on his ‘deck’ for this conversation about relationships and roles, systems and structures, and the means to connect youth with the Kingdom of God and adults who love them.

—Todd Littleton, pastor, Snow Hill Baptist Church, Tuttle, Oklahoma; consultant with the Riddle Group; executive director of ETREK Collaborative Learning Journeys; education consultant with Shapevine.com

I applaud all pastors who read and discuss this book with their youth pastors. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I read these pages. If only my first pastor had read this book…things might have gone differently!

—Brandon Grissom, worship leader and creative director, Axis, Willow Creek Community Church, South Barrington, Illinois

I’ve had the privilege of watching Mark Riddle put what’s written in this book into practice. He’s done a tremendous job helping our church get a better sense of how and why we do what we do in our student ministry. Mark writes from experience—and not just his own, but also the experience of countless other church leaders and youth pastors he’s counseled, mentored, and challenged. As a senior leader in my church, some of what Mark writes makes me uncomfortable. He keeps reminding me that the church isn’t a machine, and the members of my staff aren’t moving parts that can be easily replaced. Instead they’re human beings created in the image of God who deserve equal parts compassion and truth if they’re to grow to their full potential. My favorite chapter is where Mark unpacks the Ladder of Inference. It was great to finally understand why people misunderstand some of what I say and do. Then I realized I’m guilty of climbing the ladder just as quickly as anybody else. Thanks Mark.

—Wade Hodges, lead minister, Garnett Church of Christ, Tulsa, Oklahoma

Intentionality…that’s what most of our churches are missing as we think about and do youth ministry. Sadly, it usually starts from the moment we establish a youth ministry and then look for a ‘professional’ to fill the spot.’ In many cases, it winds up being a recipe for disaster or mediocrity as best. Mark Riddle issues a challenge and a how-to regarding our need to stop, think, and plan. Pastors, search committees, and youth workers will find Mark’s suggestions and guidance to be thought-provoking and helpful so you can act wisely now."

—Walt Mueller, president, Center for Parent/Youth Understanding; author, Youth Culture 101

If a church is searching for a youth pastor, the first step it needs to take is to buy this book for every member of the search committee. Mark saves churches (and youth workers) countless hours and countless dollars by asking critical questions that need to be answered before anyone signs on the dotted line.

—Ginny Olson, Center for Youth Ministry Studies, North Park University & North Park Seminary

It’s a fact. The health of a church staff directly impacts the health of a church. It’s also true that hiring a youth minister for the wrong reasons can decimate a church. Mark Riddle understands this from his years of serving on a staff and his consulting with hundreds of churches. In fact, reading this book is like having Mark personally consult with your church—at a much-reduced price! He’s straightforward, yet gracious, asking the questions all churches need to grapple with before they hire their next youth pastors. Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors is filled with countless real-life examples of both healthy and unhealthy churches that will help readers discover where their churches reside. Perhaps most importantly, Mark’s passion for helping churches develop healthy staff—and subsequently healthy ministries—literally drips from the pages as he provides solid and substantial help for churches of all sizes and traditions. As someone who’s studied for more than two decades the relationship between hiring a youth minister and the success of the youth ministry, I heartily endorse this book as one that all who’re involved in the search for a youth pastor should read.

—James K. Hampton, author, speaker, veteran youth worker, and associate professor of youth ministry at Asbury Theological Seminary

Mark helps us navigate through the minefields of youth ministry. If you’re looking for something healthy and sustainable, you’ve found it.

—Dan Kimball, author, They Like Jesus but Not the Church

No more games. No more e-Harmony-esque youth pastor searches. No more faith communities trying to act like businesses or military operations. Let’s make church beautiful and let’s see if youth ministry can guide the way. Riddle’s book contributes to this vision. This book will terrify you. It’ll ask you to be honest about who you are and what you want. Don’t even think about hiring someone or taking a youth pastor job until you read this book. I’m increasingly convinced that the more we look for what we want in others, the more clearly we see ourselves. Before churches post that youth pastor job description, or individuals send that resume, read this book. Riddle takes you on an important journey. His short chapters demand long, thoughtful answers. So here’s my warning: The self-perception churches or individuals hold as they begin reading this book may be very different by the time they get to the end of it.

—Steve Argue, adjunct professor of youth ministry and executive director of the Contextual Learning Center at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary; cofounder, Intersect, Inc.

I can’t get Riddle out of my head! Riddle freakishly resides in the inner-recesses of the minds of all of us who consider ourselves youth pastors. If you’re a church leader, you need this book to serve as your field guide—or maybe in some cases, your survival guide. Quick! Snatch it up and journey deep into the head (and ultimately the heart) of your youth pastor and find out what makes that person one of a kind.

—Chris Folmsbee, author, A New Kind of Youth Ministry; chief ministries officer (CMO), YouthFront

Attention Senior Pastors: This book isn’t just about youth ministry. It will unlock the secret you’ve been looking for: How to connect with young families on their terms! Mark Riddle lets you behind the curtain in this guided tour of a relevant youth ministry and its role in the 21st-century family. With a straightforward and step-by-step process, you, too, can grow a youth ministry that introduces young people to the love of Jesus and supports families as they seek their full place in God’s kingdom. The chapter on ‘Unfunny Jokes the Church Keeps Telling’ is worth the price of the whole book.

—Jonathan Reitz, principal, The Leader Shed, Cleveland, Ohio

ZONDERVAN

Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors: A Church Leader’s Guide to Staffing and Leading Youth Pastors

Copyright 2009 by Mark Riddle

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.

ePub Edition August 2009 ISBN: 978-0-310-57709-6

Youth Specialties resources, 300 S. Pierce St., El Cajon, CA 92020 are published by Zondervan, 5300 Patterson Ave. SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49530.

ISBN 978-0-310-28365-2

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, Today’s New International Version™. TNIV®. Copyright 2001, 2005 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Cover design by Toolbox Studios

Interior design by Mark Novelli, IMAGO MEDIA

AUTHOR’S NOTE

This book is filled with information gathered from research, interviews, and observation. Every story in this book is true, though there are a few instances in which I chose to merge several stories into one. Moreover, these stories are not unique to individual churches or pastors. In fact, you may find yourself relating to many of the people and circumstances recounted in this book. This makes each story everyone’s story. So, if you recognize yourself in a story, chances are it’s about you—you and many others.

I’d also like you to consider this book the beginning of a conversation between the two of us. While it contains many of the concepts and principles I’ve learned from my research, there are several ideas that did not fit within the scope of this writing—and others that are still being formed. Continued conversation with you will afford us the opportunity to keep learning from each other. As you lead your church, I would enjoy hearing about how your story unfolds.

Mark Riddle

Tulsa, Oklahoma

markriddle.net

mark@theRiddleGroup.com

CONTENT

Title Page

Copyright Page

Special Acknowledgments

Important! A Note about Gifting This Book

Introduction

SECTION 1 Staffing for Youth Ministry

CHAPTER 1 Why Do You Want to Hire a Youth Pastor?

CHAPTER 2 The 35-Pound Raccoon and an Opportunity

CHAPTER 3 Good Reasons to Hire a Youth Pastor

CHAPTER 4 Church A & Church B

CHAPTER 5 A Tale of