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All But My Life: A Memoir
All But My Life: A Memoir
All But My Life: A Memoir
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All But My Life: A Memoir

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All But My Life is the unforgettable story of Gerda Weissmann Klein's six-year ordeal as a victim of Nazi cruelty.

From her comfortable home in Bielitz (present-day Bielsko) in Poland to her miraculous survival and her liberation by American troops--including the man who was to become her husband--in Volary, Czechoslovakia, in 1945, Gerda takes the reader on a terrifying journey.

Gerda's serene and idyllic childhood is shattered when Nazis march into Poland on September 3, 1939. Although the Weissmanns were permitted to live for a while in the basement of their home, they were eventually separated and sent to German labor camps. Over the next few years Gerda experienced the slow, inexorable stripping away of "all but her life." By the end of the war she had lost her parents, brother, home, possessions, and community; even the dear friends she made in the labor camps, with whom she had shared so many hardships, were dead.

Despite her horrifying experiences, Klein conveys great strength of spirit and faith in humanity. In the darkness of the camps, Gerda and her young friends manage to create a community of friendship and love. Although stripped of the essence of life, they were able to survive the barbarity of their captors. Gerda's beautifully written story gives an invaluable message to everyone. It introduces them to last century's terrible history of devastation and prejudice, yet offers them hope that the effects of hatred can be overcome.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateMar 31, 1995
ISBN9781466812420
All But My Life: A Memoir
Author

Gerda Weissmann Klein

Gerda Weissmann Klein was born in Bielsko, Poland, in 1924. She and her husband, and Kurt Klein, are advocates of Holocaust education and human rights. They lecture frequently and have written extensively about their experiences during the Holocaust. They have been married for over 50 years and reside in Scottsdale, Arizona. Gerda's memoir, All But My Life, was adapted into the Academy- and Emmy Award-winning short film One Survivor Remains. With her husband, she edited The Hours After, a collection of letters they had exchanged while separated for a year after their engagement following World War II.

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Rating: 4.408071632286996 out of 5 stars
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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    All But My Life is a personal story about the holocaust from 1939 to 1945 narrated by Gerda, who begins the holocaust at age 16. As this story progresses there is a better feel as to what people really experienced during this time period and how some people were able to cope. This memoir is very moving. I had read a few holocaust literature memoirs, and this is by far my favorite. The style of her writing keeps the book interesting and her personal anecdotes make me feel like I'm watching a movie.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Such beautiful writing about such a horrible time.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is a story that will stay with you a long time. God bless Gerda and her family.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Gerda shares her wonderful, comfortable childhood / teenage years growing up in Bielitz with her parents and older brother, friends, neighbors and beauty of "Little Vienna."Everything changes once the nazis* invade. Her beloved brother, Arthur, must leave, breaking the hearts of Gerda and her parents. Their fur factory is taken over by the nazis. They are forced to live in the cold, moldy basement, often go hungry because of food rationing, and eventually forced to perform hard work in factories for little or no pay. But to make Beilitz Jew-free, the remaining Jews are sent to camps or factories as slave labor. Gerda is separated from her parents and never sees them again. She suffers demeaning hardships in the many camps and factories she is sent to but is determined to survive. Memories of her loving family, a positive outlook, her friends, and a few kind Germans help her find strength countless times to tolerate hunger, beatings, back-breaking labor, and worry over her brother and parents. She dreams of returning home to her family throughout the dark years. As the tide turns against Germany the nazis step up their brutality, killing more and more of the remaining Jews. When the war ends, Gerda has lost too much. It will take someone special to understand her loss, and soon her new life begins. *Not capitalizing this word is by personal choice. I know it doesn't change anything but doing so makes me FEEL as though I've reduced the power of the nazis.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    When the Nazi's invade Poland, Gerda and her family are forced to move into their basement. Eventually, her family is separated and sent to different German labor camps. The Germans seem to take everything from Gerda, everything but her life. She barely survives the horrors of the concentration camp but quickly regains her spirit and determination. A well written book, this is a look into a difficult part of history. Overall, highly recommended.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Grade 9 reading book, that I realized I had already read. The story of a young girl in Poland who lives thru the occupation and defeat by the Nazis. First we see had conditions worsened for Jews, then she is sent to labour camps, and finally the 3 month long Death March. A good intro to the Holocaust as it is not as grim as many memoirs (night etc). She is a brave and strong girl who reminds me of Anne Frank. Glad the kids have to read this!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Diese Autobiographie vom Überleben eines jüdischen Mädchens im dritten Reich ist zu Recht sehr bekannt, in den USA sogar im selben Rang wie das Tagebuch der Anne Frank. Das Buch ist toll geschrieben und ausgesprochen beeindruckend. Die Autorin schildert ihre Erlebnisse und Gefühle authentisch und unmittelbar. Wie Gerda es schafft, sich Mut zu machen, ihre Resilienz und Stärke, ihr Erinnern an diejenigen, die es nicht geschafft haben, ist sehr eindrucksvoll. Auf jeden Fall ist das ein Buch, das viele Leser finden soll.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I first heard about this book from my daughter who is a school teacher in Chicago. Apparently the documentary of this book had been sent to many of the school in the city. The impact is always so much greater when one is reading the words of another's life, so much more personal. I love that this starts out with her happy family, her brothers, her neighbors, her friends, such a simple life full of hope. Than they are confronted with the Nazi invasion and things began to change for them very quickly, yet they still held on to little things that provided them with hope. A letter from a family member, deportations that had been postponed, a brother who has manged to escape, a neighbor who brings them food, all of these provide hope. A young childhood quickly changed, I remember one passage that really brought this home for me. Gerda is walking past the pool where in previous summers she had gone to with her friends. Now she is walking past the pool, with a Jewish armband, and while there is still laughing coming from the pool, she is no longer able to go in. Wonderfully poignant book, in the afterward she explains what has happened to her life after the war and why she has felt compelled to write this, her memoir. Wonderful book from a wonderfully strong woman.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Gerda Weissman Klein’s memoir of her life during World War II is harrowing to say the least. Separated from her loved ones, surrounded by fear and tragedy, Gerda’s life is turned upside down overnight and she faces years of anguish, pain and grief. Despite it all she retains an immense sense of what is right and fair, often putting the needs of others above her own and often putting her own life at risk in order to stand up for her principles.Although the details given in Gerda’s account do not feel watered down by any means, you can’t help but think that even though her recollections are horrific, there’s much more that she has chosen not to share and can only be stunned by her bravery and determination. She loses everything – all but her life and her spirit.One of the most remarkable aspects of the story is the advice Gerda is given by her father to wear her winter walking boots one day: advice that will prove to be lifesaving. If it had been a novel, it would have seemed like one of those quaint coincidences that ties a book together but knowing that this is an autobiographical tale actually makes this incredibly poignant. Even though I finished the book a couple of weeks ago, every time I think about it I remember those boots and how her father’s last piece of advice would be, literally, life-saving.It is impossible for me to give All But My Life anything other than five stars. This is a beautifully related memoir: despite the overwhelming sense of tragedy and pain, Gerda’s will to survive and determination to keep not only herself going but others as well is utterly heart-wrenching. Although I have never been a huge fan of autobiographies, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this. It is a story that must be told and it is a time that we must never, ever forget.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    All but my life All but my life is a wonderful book that made me cry at least four times. It is all about a  a girl named . She is a 15 year old girl at the beginning. She is a jewish girl who is part of the holocaust she lived in a house with her mother father and brother. She started to frequently see a boy and asked her to marry him after the war and holocaust. Her brother named Arthur he was sent away to a labor camp but escaped. Her mother was sent away to a labor camp.   She at first was sent to a transition camp. The boys family that she was seeing lived in the town that she was in. She went and had dinner with them. They were trying to get her a work card. They did but she turned it down to go with her friend to a new camp. Their she made a lot of friends  and got into contact with her uncle in turkey and her family well at least her brother. He was captured but escaped again. Her boyfriend would send her gift and her uncle would too. She was liberated in the end and married the man who saved her.This book was amazing! It was very well written and sad 6 million people died during the holocaust and the survivors have to be overjoyed that they lived but want to be with their family friends and lovers who died during the horrific time.this book should have an option of more than five stars. It mad me cry so many times. It is most definitely for 8th grade and above. Eighth grade is a little young in my thoughts. In the end this book is amazing beyond belief everyone should read it when they are the right age.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is about Gerda Weissmann Klein and her life in the Holocaust. The book starts out when the Germans are invading Poland. Gerda was only 16 at the time. A few days after the Germans invaded Poland, Gerda's older brother, Arthur, was forced to leave and work. Gerda's family was afraid he wouldn't come back. Only a few days later, Gerda's family is forced to live in their own basement. After a few months, Gerda and her parents are moved to the Beilitz ghetto. Not soon after, Gerda's father is forced to work in a different camp, away from Gerda and her mother. Gerda and her mother leave the ghetto to go a transit camp. At the transit camp, Gerda and her mother are separated because of the age difference. Now Gerda is alone without any knowledge of what is to become of her family. Gerda is forced to work in labor camps, working at a weaving factory. Gerda does make some friends along the way. After two years of working in labor camps, Gerda must march during the winter. After weeks of marching, it is finally liberation day. Gerda is happy, although all her friends had died along the way. In the hospital, Gerda meets Kurt Klein, and they get married in America.This book was very upsetting. Gerda went through times nobody should go through but still do. I felt bad when she realized, her brother, mother and father were dead. After reading this book, I have a much better understanding of a Jew's life during the Holocaust. It is absolutely heartbreaking. As hard as it is, Gerda still went on living and did her best to survive and I admire her for that. Everybody should get a chance to read this book. I will never forget this book because it's something everybody should know about. It's a story that should be read and told so that the lives that were lost in WW2 are not forgotten.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    All But My Life is memoir by Gerda Wiessmann Klein. Gerda survived the Holocaust and this is her experiences. The book first starts out when the Germans attack Poland. Gerda is Jewish and has to move to the basement. Then they take her brother away how is named Arthur. Then her, her mother, and father have to move to the ghetto. Then the father gets taken away, then the mother. Gerda has to go from camp to camp working for the Germans. Then she has to go on the death march, and all of her friends died. The one day in Volary, Czechoslovakia, they are liberated. She meets a German American how is Jewish and they fall in love. She never sees any of her family again but she starts a new one with Kurt. She now lives in Arizona with Kurt. I really liked this book because it was so interesting. I never really liked diaries or memoirs but this was a good book. The book was so sad because a lot of sad stuff happened. Probably the saddest part was when Arthur left then her father then her mother. It shows that is a couple few days. Also it is sad when the people where ran over by horses even the babies. I had to read this book for school and thought that it was going to be bad but it turned out good. The only part I did not like was the epilogue. It dragged on and on. Over all it is a great book.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    In 1942 In a polish town called Beilitz, Gerda Weissman, a teen at her prime, is faced with the reality of war, or more so the Nazi regime. So far the Nazi's have only taken her country, but more is yet to come. Her religion, Jewish automatically makes her a "threat" to the National Socialist German Workers Party. However the term "threat" ids only regarded as a mask of what significance the Jewish people represent to Hitler. Gerda and her family are smarter than most of the Jewish folk in their town, they regard the Nazis as serious adversaries to their lives and what they hold precious. While other residents are claiming liberation the Weissman family is busy preparing for the worst. Much later, after Gerda's brother left to go find a means of rebellion against the German, Gerda and her parents find themselves living in the Beilitz ghetto it is ultimately a passageway to the notorious Nazi camps where it is speculated many Jews have been killed. After only but a few days of living in the ghetto, Gerda's father has been deported by train to a camp, one of unknown sort. A few days later, Gerda and her mother face the same fate. Gerda and her mother ended up being separated due to a difference in age. Now, not knowing where her mother is, or her fate, Gerda ends up in a labor camp. At first glance Gerda expects the people in charge to be black-hearted people who have no care for Gerda’s people, and would kill them at a tic of the clock. However Gerda learns that these people are not the cold-hearted, narcissists she once thought she learns over the span of a year, that these people are kindhearted individuals that respect the people who reside in the camp. Having moved on from her first camp, Gerda spent more than a week in another labor camp, the camp was much, much different from the previous. Working conditions were harsh, and the Nazis in charge were harsher. But her placement in this camp was a mistake; Gerda and her friend Ilse were not to be placed in this camp because they had produced enough material in their last work camp. Gerda was then transferred to a relocated version of her first camp. This is where Gerda find her admirer, Abek, who voluntarily came to the camp just to be closer to Gerda. However Gerda finds this experience very awkward. Later Gerda is forced to leave Abek to be deported to another camp. This is the last camp she must endure until she faces the greatest hardship of all. The camp that Gerda is staying at is split up into two groups. These two groups march away from the camp in the middle of winter because Auschwitz, the foremost death camp has been overrun. It is the middle of winter, and the group Gerda is in is forced to march many, many kilometers in the cold. The trip is overbearing, and many hardships are endured, and death was experienced thoroughly. At one part Gerda mention that she witnesses another girl break off her toes as if they were twigs. At the end of the journey, Gerda has lost all her friends, along the march many who were too sick or weak to go on were shot and killed. One of Gerda’s friends Suse, died on the day they were liberated. After the Americans took the survivors to a hospital, Gerda spent many days in rejuvenation, and almost had her feet amputated. However, in her days of regaining herself, she meets the love of her life, and they happily marry in America.This book had many, features to it that could've made you cry. To imagine what this young lady, only 16 years of age, had to endure" both of her parents were taken from her and her brother as well. Most people would have been completely traumatized by her experienced, and for her being able to share what she had seen, it's unthinkable. I thought the book was very touching, it told about unimaginable things that took place during this period in time. This is one of the few books I would consider reading again; it is very interesting to read. I would not recommend this book to those of younger age, because many of the things in this book, they could not fully comprehend.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Gerda Weissmann was living in Poland when WW2 started. The germans invaded Poland and destroy the Polish army. She is force to hide until the Germans force them to go to a concentration camp. Their she is force to work in the textile mills. She is transfered many times and soon finds herself marching in the frozen winter through Europe. Many people died. She lived as the war ended. She was liberated and soon fell in love with an American soldier.This is an emotional story. The book show the torture the Jews had to go through. The book is very inspirational. Gerda was very strong and went through such difficult times. The book is very good. The book is very sad and emotioal. The book is a great account of the war and the holocast. This is a good book and is very sad.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    In the book "All But My Life", a Polish girl named Gerda at age 15 enters a life of cruily and labor. At her home in a town called Bielitz, Gerda, Arthur (her brother), and their Mama and Papa under go huge changes such as Papa lossing his job, Arthur going to the Government by order of the Nazi, and they have to live in their basement. Food became scare and the family had to sew and sell all their belongings in order to stop them from starving. Once the family is forced to live in a Jewish ghetto, she and mama work in a town 2 hours away and come back home for the night. As the Jews were forced to go to camps, Gerda is separeted from her mother and father and she never sees them again. Along with her friends Ilse, Suse, and Liesle, they work in a textile camp in Burchberg, endure the extereme work conditions of Gruneburg, and then are sent to work at another textile camp in Landeshut. To kill off the Jews, the Nazi force all the girls on a 350km death march through Germany. Out of 4000 girls, only 120 survived including Gerda. All of her friends died on the journey and Liesle and Suse died on the day of her liberation. Once in the Red Cross hospitle, she survives typus and phenomia and is able to walk again. During her recovery, Kurt Klein, a U.S solider who liberated her, visits her as much as he can and sends her letters. When Kurt wanted to take her to Buffalo, she decided to wait until sivilians are aloud to go to the states and she would marry him before they go.If I could, I would describe this story in much greater detail. It doesn't include the horrors she endured or even the rare happy times she describes. This autobiography clearly tells of the pain and suffering the Jews and other victems of the Holocast had to face head on. I don't know if even I could stand the things she faced without suiside and have the courage and bravery to do whats right. Even though her whole family was wiped out, she found happiness and love in the end just like those fairy tales. Only the only draw back is that she has to face her past the rest of her life.Everyone should read this book to have a true understanding of what she and others face during WW2. I just hope that no one has to face this kind of recless hate ever again.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Gerda was force to live in the basement of here better house. They sell most of there stuff to have money. Arthur go to a labor camp but then escapes to russia and gets a job. Some of the money goes to his family. Abek is a person who very loves Gerda. however gerda doesn't have the same feelings. here father is taken by the gestapos. Gerda is forced to a train to sosnowitz. they are moved to different labor camps. Abek send her clothes. Gerda also gets sick. she was forced to work. they are then moved to Marzdorf. That is where a blond woman with a bull whip. They then move to and concretration camp called landeshut. The girls are now forced to march across the snow hills. At there last camp which was aboned was liberated by a us soldier whichwould be gerda's future husband. she is sent to a hospital to get treatment.I really like this book. It tells a good view of the holocaust. I didn't like because it was torture to reads it. Man killing man is against the human nature.I am glad that I read it though. I now have a better understanding of the holocaust. I also read the cage. The all but my life is a lot better then the cage.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is the most moving and beautiful book written by a Holocaust survivor I have ever read. Her descriptions are chilling, but the warmth and caring she holds onto through her trials are an inspiration to us all. Good can overcome evil. I have read this book thre times and I cry everytime I read this book. Her accomplishments after the war are equally powerful. Way better than anything Elie Wiesel has written. Her triumph stays with you long after the book is over. With her believe in forgiveness and her work with the Holocaust Museum and insuring that the memories of survivors are not lost, Klein provides us with a lesson on how to live our lives after tragedy, to not give in to brutality and blind ambition. She is a remarkable woman and her book will inspire you.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is an amazing book about horrific events that a young girl had to go through because of the Nazis and Adolf Hitler. It is a book on many families being ripped apart, and the few that remain are haunted with memories. It all started with the Nazis invading Poland and soon Jews were not allowed to do anything. Soon her brother was taken way but Gerda and her family received letters from him on occasion. After 3 month of war the family had to move to the basement of their house so the German mid that lived in the basement could have a better house. One thing that Gerda talks about a lot was her garden and how she missed it. She went with her friend and her mother to an art prison I won’t to say where she met Abek, who soon fell in love with her. He said that once the war was over they would marry. Gerda’s family move once again and they had to start working Gerda and her mother had to work at the factory sowing while her father had to do something else outside. They then received notice that they will be move to find more work first her Father then her and her mother. The night before her dad left she had promised him one thing to wear her ski boots on the day that she leaves. She thought he was silly but she did it any ways. Without those boots during the harsh winters, she believes she would have not survived. She moved from camp to camp throughout the years meeting very nice girls from all over. When the Russians and other Forces started to advance over 75 thousand girls were marched all over Germany and into Czechoslovakia. These marches were later called Death Marches. As she saw her friends dying from hunger and disease she surveyed but only barely. Then she meet the American solider that she would eventually marry.I love this book! But that does not sound good because of all the horrific events that are contained within the pages of this book, but I am amazed at the Hope and Faith of Gerda. I am also stunned by the horrific event that happened to her. I could not get through the book without crying several times. The best part in my opinion is how she was able to survive and find love to keep her strong. Stunning Book!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Came across this book by chance, or maybe fate. Amazing story of the author's life as a young girl in Poland when Germany invades through her liberation at the end of the war. She suffers the loss of her family, her freedom, and her childhood. As with Anne Frank, she discusses the struggle to live through the eyes and heart of a young girl growing into a women. This story stands apart due to her flowing writing style, her honesty of emotions, and the amazing love story! The U.S. soldier who 'liberated' her falls in love with her, and they later marry.This is not a translation-the author emigrates to U.S.A. and writes this and several other books in English. Very few books, do I read straight through, but this is one. Made a profound impression on me.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    As someone who is not a native speaker of English, Gerda Weissmann Klein writes masterfully. Her recollections of the time she spent as a young Jewish girl under Nazi rule are vividly, heartbreakingly eloquent. Klein spent the first part of the war with her parents in their home town of Beilitz, Poland, marginalized by the German invaders and forced to live with more and more hardship before finally being separated from them and sent to a series of work camps. After being forced to march from the final camp through the wintry wilderness of Germany to Czechoslovakia, she is finally liberated. I guess I had a picture in my head of all the Jews being rounded up immediately at the start of the war, and spending the entire time in camps, which some were able to survive. I always wondered why, for the most part, they did not fight back. I realize after reading this book that this was a very inaccurate and uninformed idea. The marginalization happened so gradually and the propaganda was so overwhelming, plus people like Gerda had such a faith in humankind, thinking that people could not possibly be so cruel as to do the things they eventually ended up doing. I am ashamed that I never thought to learn more about this era prior to now. Despite the horrid atrocity of the events in her life, Gerda writes with such sunniness and vitality that her story is not unbearably depressing. It is eminently readable and highly recommended. The only thing I was bothered by while reading this was Klein's habit of telling what ended up happening to people as soon as we meet them, even though they continue to play into the story. For example, upon meeting Suse in the work camp, Gerda tells us Suse will die in the morning of the day they are liberated. Sues then continues to figure in to the story, all the while the reader knows she's doomed. This steals a little from the story, as the reader, already knowing Gerda will survive and Suse will not, has been spoiled by this knowledge.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    How do people survive when separated from family and all they know and are placed in the most extreme conditions as found in a Nazi work camp? As a teenager, Gerda Weissmann not only found the strength to cope with the horrors that awaited her, but through it all she managed to maintain her integrity. Under such conditions, she showed that one does not have to become an animal to survive. One of her liberators became her future husband and she lived a very full life afterwards in America.

Book preview

All But My Life - Gerda Weissmann Klein

PREFACE

As I finish the last chapter of my book, I feel at peace, at last. I have discharged a burden, and paid a debt to many nameless heroes, resting in their unmarked graves. For I am haunted by the thought that I might be the only one left to tell their story.

Happy in my new life, I have penned the last sentence of the past. I have written my story, with tears and with love, in the hope that my children, safely asleep in their cribs, should not awake from a nightmare and find it to be reality.

Part One

Chapter 1

There is a watch lying on the green carpet of the living room of my childhood. The hands seem to stand motionless at 9:10, freezing time when it happened. There would be a past only, the future uncertain, time had stopped for the present. Morning—9:10. That is all I am able to grasp. The hands of the watch are cruel. Slowly they blur into its face.

I lift my eyes to the window. Everything looks unfamiliar, as in a dream. Several motorcycles roar down the street. The cyclists wear green-gray uniforms and I hear voices. First a few, and then many, shouting something that is impossible and unreal. Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! And the watch says 9:10. I did not know then that an invisible curtain had parted and that I walked on an unseen stage to play a part in a tragedy that was to last six years.

It was September 3, 1939, Sunday morning. We had spent a sleepless night in the damp, chilly basement of our house while the shells and bombs fell. At one point in the evening when Papa, Mama, my brother Arthur, then nineteen, were huddled in bewildered silence, my cat Schmutzi began to meow outside in the garden and Arthur stepped outside to let her in. He had come back with a bullet hole in his trousers.

A bullet?

There is shooting from the roofs, the Germans are coming!

Then, in the early gray of the morning we heard the loud rumbling of enemy tanks. Our troops were retreating from the border to Krakow, where they would make their stand. Their faces were haggard, drawn, and unshaven, and in their eyes there was panic and defeat. They had seen the enemy, had tried and failed. It had all happened so fast. Two days before, on Friday morning, the first of September, the drone of a great many German planes had brought most of the people of our little town into the streets. The radio was blasting the news that the Germans had crossed our frontier at Cieszyn and that we were at war! Hastily, roadblocks had been erected. Hysteria swept over the people and large numbers left town that day.

I had never seen Bielitz, my home town, frightened. It had always been so safe and secure. Nestled at the foot of the Beskide mountain range, the high peaks had seemed to shelter the gay, sparkling little town from intruders. Bielitz was charming and not without reason was it called Little Vienna. Having been part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire before 1919, it still retained the flavor of that era. Almost all of Bielitz’ inhabitants were bilingual; Polish as well as German was spoken in the stores. In the center of the city, among carefully tended flower beds, stood its small but excellent theater, and next to it the Schloss, the castle of the Sulkowskys, the nobility closely linked to the Imperial Hapsburgs.

Nothing in my lifetime had ever disturbed the tranquility of Bielitz. Only now, when I saw people deserting it, did I realize how close, dangerously close we were to the Czechoslovakian frontier; only twenty-odd miles separated us from Cieszyn.

There had been talk of war for many weeks, of course, but since mid-August our family had been preoccupied with Papa’s illness. Mama and I had been away in Krynica, a summer resort, from early June until the middle of August. Papa and Arthur had been unable to accompany us, and we returned when we received a telegram from Papa, suggesting we come home because of the gravity of the international situation. It had been somewhat of a shock to see how ill Papa looked when he met us at the station. His right arm was bothering him and Mama, alarmed, had called the doctor. The doctor diagnosed the illness as a mild heart attack and Papa was put to bed immediately.

The following day two specialists were summoned to Papa’s bedside. That same day we received a cable from Mama’s brother Leo, who was in Turkey. It read: Poland’s last hour has come. Dangerous for Jews to remain. Your visas waiting at Warsaw embassy. Urge you to come immediately.

Mama stuck the cable in her apron pocket, saying, Papa is ill, that is our prime concern.

Papa was to be spared excitement and worry at all costs, and visitors were cautioned not to mention the possibility of war to him. Mama little realized the fate we all might have been spared had she not concealed the truth from Papa. Yet on Friday morning, September 1, when German planes roared through the sky, Papa, who had been ill for two weeks, came face to face with reality. It was a tense day. I spent most of it in my parents’ bedroom and instinctively stayed close to Papa.

As that first day drew to a close, nobody touched supper, no one seemed to want to go to sleep. Mama sat in a chair near Papa’s bed, Arthur and I watched from the window. Horses and wagons loaded with refugees continued to roll toward the East. Here and there a rocket, like blood spouting from the wounded earth, shot into the evening sky, bathing the valley in a grotesque red. I looked at my parents. Papa appeared strange, almost lifeless. The yellow flowers on Mama’s black housecoat seemed to be burning. Outside, the mountain tops were ablaze for a moment, then they resounded with a thunderous blast that made the glass in the windows rattle like teeth in a skeleton’s head. Everything was burning now. I looked at Mama again. Her soft, wavy, blue-black hair clung to her face. Her large, dark eyes seemed bottomless against her pale skin. Her mobile mouth was still and alien. The red glow was reflected in each of our faces. It made hers seem strange and unfamiliar. There was Mama, burning with the strange fire of destruction, and in the street the horses and wagons, the carts and bicycles were rolling toward the unknown. There was a man carrying a goat on his back, apparently the only possession he had. On the corner several mothers were clutching their infants to their breasts, and near them an old peasant woman crossed herself. It was as if the world had come to an end in that strange red light. Then, all of a sudden, Papa spoke to me.

Go, call the family and find out what they are doing.

I went downstairs. I sat down next to the phone with a long list of numbers. I started at the top and worked to the bottom, but there were no answers. The telephones kept ringing and ringing. I pictured the homes that I knew so well, and with each ring a familiar object or piece of furniture seemed to tumble to the floor.

I became panicky. It seemed as though we were alone in a world of the dead. I went back upstairs. My parents and Arthur apparently had been talking. They stopped abruptly.

Nobody answered, isn’t that right? Papa asked. I could not speak. I nodded. There was no longer any pretense. Papa motioned me to sit down on his bed. He embraced me with his left arm.

Children, he said, the time has come when I have to say what I hoped I would never have to say. I remember as if it were yesterday the cries of the wounded and the pale faces of the dead from the last war. I didn’t think it possible that the world would come to this again. You believed I could always find a solution for everything. Yet I have failed you. I feel you children should go. Mama just told me that Mr. and Mrs. Ebersohn have asked to take you with them to look for refuge in the interior of Poland. I am sick when you most need my strength. I want you to go, children. I command you to go! His voice had assumed a tone of authority that I had never heard before. I saw Arthur look up startled at the mention of his girl friend’s parents. More than ever he looked like Mama, but somehow he reminded me of Papa as he stood there tall, erect, and determined.

Almost without hesitation, he said, No! We are going to stay together.

My parents’ eyes met. I had a feeling there was relief and pride in their faces.

I hoped you would say that, Papa said brokenly, not for my sake, but because I hate to cast out my children to complete uncertainty. I believe that God will keep us together and under the roof of our house.

He dropped back exhausted on his pillows. The effort had been too much for him, and sudden stillness fell over the room. Strangely, all sound ceased outside as well and we noted that the sky was no longer red.


When I awoke the next morning everything was as peaceful as ever. The sun shone so brightly in my room. The fall flowers in our garden were in full bloom. The trees were laden with fruit. In my room everything was as it had always been, and what’s more, even Papa was out of bed. His arm was in a sling, but he was up, and it seemed so wonderful I was sure the night before had all been a nightmare. No, not quite, because in my parents’ faces I could read something that hadn’t been there yesterday.

When we met downstairs for breakfast everybody seemed cheerful. Papa was joking. Mama joined in this seemingly carefree banter. The maid had left to be with her relatives. Papa jokingly asked me whether I wanted the job. Nobody mentioned the war. I walked to the radio and turned it on. There was a sharp click, but no sound. I tried the phone, the lights, but all electricity was off. In a way that was good. There was no contact with the outside world. It was a wonderful, peaceful Saturday. But evening brought fury to the end of that last peaceful day. Sporadic shooting started from the rooftops, an attempt at delaying the enemy while our army retreated to Krakow. We looked for shelter in our cellar and sat there through the night. Toward morning the shooting stopped altogether and the vehicles of the Polish army ceased to roll. We came up from the cellar for a cup of tea in the living room. As I sat down on the couch near the window I could see the people outside in an obviously gay and festive mood, talking and laughing, carrying flowers, and everywhere the clicking of cameras.

Mama, look, Arthur said. Do you suppose—? and he broke in the middle of the sentence, not daring to say what seemed impossible.

No, Mama answered, and then Arthur pulled his watch out of his pocket, the roar of a motorcycle broke the stillness of our home, and his watch fell to the floor. It was 9:10 Α.Μ.


I looked out again. A swastika was flying from the house across the street. My God! They seemed prepared. All but us, they knew.


A big truck filled with German soldiers was parked across the street. Our neighbors were serving them wine and cakes, and screaming as though drunk with joy, Heil Hitler! Long live the Führer! We thank thee for our liberation!

I couldn’t understand it. I didn’t seem to be able to grasp the reality of what had happened. What are those people doing? The same people I had known all my life. They have betrayed us.

The breakfast tea turned cold on the table. Papa and Mama looked down at the floor. Their faces were blank. Papa seemed so old, so gray. He had changed so much.

I smelled something burning. A hot coal from the big green tile oven had fallen through the grill onto the carpet. I remembered a similar accident a year or two before and Mama had been terribly upset. Afterward she had turned the carpet so that the burned spot was under the couch. This time I wanted to shout a warning, but my throat froze when I saw my parents staring at that coal. They saw the carpet burn slowly, but they didn’t seem to care. Finally, Papa got up and with his shoe carelessly shoved the coal back to the grill. Nobody spoke.

I looked out the window and there was Trude, a girl I had known since childhood. She and her grandmother lived rent-free in a two-room apartment in our basement in return for laundry service. Now I saw her carrying flowers from our garden, white roses of which we had been so proud because they bloomed out of season. She handed them to a soldier, breaking her tongue with the unfamiliar German, Heil Hitler! The soldier reached for the flowers, but somebody offered him some schnapps. He took the glass instead, the flowers tumbled to the dusty road, the boots of the soldiers trampled on them. I started sobbing, crying, releasing all my emotions and anxieties in that outburst. Arthur jumped over to me, put his hand over my mouth. Are you crazy? Do you want to give us away? But I did not hear him. The tears felt so good. He finally slapped me. Think of Papa’s life. If they hear you crying— I couldn’t stop. He pulled me down from the couch, dragged me over the carpet, and up the stairs with Mama holding my mouth. They put me to bed, where I cried into the pillow until, exhausted, I fell asleep.

Early in the afternoon the drunken, jubilant mob was still celebrating its liberation and hoarsely shouting Heil Hitler. Papa and Mama smiled. Their smiles seemed more painful to me than my screams and tears, and I learned at that moment that I must not always cry when I wanted. I realized that we were outsiders, strangers in our own home, at the mercy of those who until then had been our friends. Although I was only fifteen I had a strong feeling, more instinct than reason, that our lives were no longer our own, but lay in the hands of a deadly enemy.

Mama tried to maintain the pattern of our life, even on that fateful Sunday. She prepared dinner and we sat down as usual, but no one could eat and when the food was cleared away we sat in silence. Arthur got out books about the war of 1914 and looked up data about its development, but Papa said, This is a different war. This one cannot possibly last four years. Four weeks, perhaps four months at most.

Early in the evening, when the shouting of the drunken mob had died away, there was a knock at the door and a whispered, Mrs. Weissmann. It was our neighbor Mrs. Bergmann, the mother of my friend Escia. She looked pale and shaken as she relayed the news that during the afternoon several Jews had been rounded up in the streets, locked in the Temple, and the Temple set on fire.

Men had better stay out of sight, she whispered.

Papa and Arthur exchanged glances. Mama’s eyes widened and she pressed her lips together. But Mrs. Bergmann told us too that England and France had declared war on Germany that morning. She stayed only a few minutes. When she rose to leave, Mama saw her to the door and I followed them. Before they opened the door Mrs. Bergmann and Mama listened a while, then finally Mrs. Bergmann turned the knob and through a tiny opening glanced up and down the street before she slipped out.

We sat a while longer in silence, none of us wanting to go to bed. That was the first evening in my life that I saw Mama without needlework in her hands. She just sat and stared into the fire. After a while she got up, outwardly calm and regal, and said, Go to bed, children. We all will need rest and strength.

Her words climaxed the first day under German rule.


The next morning, I was in the kitchen with Mama when Mrs. Rösche, one of the neighbors, came in with another woman and asked for our Polish flag.

The flag? Mama asked. What for?

To make a German one, of course. It’s really simple. You leave the red stripe as it is, cut a circle out of the white, and put a black swastika on it.

Mama grew pale. At first she looked for our flag in places where she knew she wouldn’t find it. Finally she brought it forth, knowing that she would have to sooner or later. Mrs. Rösche asked if Mama happened to have some black ribbon. She said she didn’t. The other neighbor produced a piece. She told us it was good ribbon—that it would last for many years!

Those two neighbors spent all morning sewing a Nazi flag to hang from our house. Why they did it, I’ll never know. Perhaps they felt that we would be inviting trouble not to display the flag.

When the flag was finished, they asked, Where’s Arthur? He is big and strong. He could hang the flag.

Mama sent me to call him. I found him in his room, lying in listless apathy. When I told him what was asked of him, he shouted,

Are you all out of your minds? Never! Never! I won’t do it. Tell them that I am gone, tell them that I am dead, tell them anything!

And so Mrs. Rösche and the other woman struggled to fasten the flag through the little hole in the roof. I couldn’t bring myself to look out of the window for days, but when I did, there was the blood-red symbol of the tragedy that had engulfed us.

Chapter 2

It took the Germans eighteen days, eighteen short days, to conquer Poland. No hope was left that our troops could send the enemy reeling back. Krakow fell, then Warsaw, and the Germans still advanced without opposition. We waited now only for the liberation that would come from France or Russia, or, as a few optimists dared hope, from England or America. Many stories were circulated about the brutal methods which the Nazis employed in the East. Some Jews were coming back from areas overrun by the Germans. After what they had witnessed they felt it was safer to return to their homes. Some came back to find their houses empty, most of their valuables gone, others to find their homes occupied by former maids who graciously permitted the owners to spend a night or two in an attic or basement, perhaps let them take some of their clothes, and sped them on their way.

Having been permitted to stay in the comfort of our own home, we did not have to worry, for the time being at least, about shelter. Papa’s next concern was his business. He was part owner of a factory that processed furs. Often he spoke of wanting to go to the factory to see what had happened to it, yet he knew as we all did that this would be too dangerous. We heard tales of people who went to their stores or factories only to find SS troops or the Gestapo there. They never returned. Bielitz was primarily a textile center, with an international reputation for the fine fabrics it produced. The standard of living was higher than almost anywhere else in Poland because of the large number of skilled mill workers. There were warehouses all over town filled with fabrics. In the wake of the Wehrmacht, German officials appeared and requisitioned them all.

We lived in the outskirts of Bielitz in a large, comfortable house that was over a hundred years old. Although the upstairs had been remodeled when my grandparents were married, there were still uncovered beams in the kitchen ceiling, a wide hearth, cracked stone front steps, old-fashioned windows with latches, and, in place of central heating, large tile ovens in the rooms. I loved my home because it had so many mysterious nooks, a cold earthen floor in the cellar (which I pretended was a dungeon), a rambling attic through which the wind howled, and best of all, a large garden and orchard. Part of it ran along the side of the house and joined a courtyard where there were several shacks in which we stored wood and kept chickens. Behind the house was the real garden, running along a slope, for all of Bielitz was scattered over the foothills of the Beskide mountains. Our garden had well over a hundred fruit trees, some of them very old, countless berry bushes, and a garden house surrounded by lilacs. At the edge of the garden ran a tiny brook. This was the home I had known and loved all my life.

It was not long after the whole population had been forced to register with the police that Jews received notices to turn in all gold, automobiles, bicycles, radios, even fountain pens. At first it did not seem to matter, because we were still at home, but life soon became more and more difficult. One always had to keep vigil at the window, and when a car stopped in front of the house, or the dreaded green uniform approached the front door, Papa and Arthur would hide in a closet.

At first they refused to be intimidated. Papa protested over and over again, I didn’t do anything to anybody. I am not afraid.

But Mama would just look at him, and that was enough. He would hide until we would sound the all-clear. Many times we heard of instances when German soldiers came to a house for information, and if a man happened to open the door, took him along; frequently that was the last the family ever saw of him. We seldom sat down to a meal without interruptions of some kind. We became tense. We learned to distinguish the noise of the hateful boots at great distances.

About the beginning of October there was a timid knock at the door. It was not the ominous thump of the Gestapo, but a hesitant, tired signal. It is strange how many feelings a knock can express, if you listen carefully. It was my father’s sister Anna with her daughter Miriam, who was my age.

Aunt Anna embraced my father, and cried, My brother, my brother, how I thank God that He kept you for me. I am alone.

Between sobs she told us her tragic story. Two days before the Germans entered Bielitz, she, her husband, and two children had boarded the train in an attempt to reach Warsaw. Day and night the trains had been attacked. She told us how the engine had run out of water, and how the passengers had formed a human chain to pass along cups, bottles, and pails, filled with water for it while the dead and dying lay all about them. There were nights when they had crouched beneath their seats, bombs and bullets flying over their heads. During one such attack Aunt Anna had fainted and her husband went to get some water to revive her. While he was gone a bomb fell. When she regained consciousness someone told Aunt Anna he had been torn to shreds. He never came back. Finally the locomotive was hit, and the train went no farther. Aunt Anna and her children got off and wandered on foot toward the East. It was a hot, oppressive night, she recalled. The moon was bright, and they saw what seemed like thousands upon thousands of shooting stars. They and others who were with them took it as a good omen, and went on through a sandy little desert near Kielce. They moved steadily through the night toward a forest, counting on it to be their salvation after the heat, but there they met a closed line of German guns and troops. What they had mistaken for shooting stars had been German paratroopers. Now they had their first direct experience with the Nazi methods. First, the men were segregated from the women. Thus, just after having lost her husband, Aunt Anna saw her nineteen-year-old son taken away. The men were lined up, and every tenth one was shot. The rest were marched toward the forest. Aunt Anna ran toward the scene of the massacre to find her son. A few bursts from a machine gun quieted the moanings and cries of agony, and then the footsteps of the disappearing German column echoed away in the hot wind.

Soon there was nothing left, until the voice of fifteen-year-old Miriam beside her cried gently, But Mama, I want to live.

On foot, by horse and buggy, and by car, they came back to Bielitz. First Aunt Anna went to her home, but found a German family living there. She passed the houses of friends and relatives but found them empty. She had hardly dared to hope that we would still be at home. Finding my father gave her new hope. They had no clothing, except the garments they wore during their flight. They had no food, no money. Everything was lost. They stayed with us, of course.

The next morning, another hesitant knock was heard at the door. It didn’t seem possible when Aunt Anna saw her son on the threshold! She could hardly believe it was true. Such happiness is rarely experienced in the ordinary span of life. Yet it was David, haggard and hungry, but alive. He told us his part of the story. When he was taken into the woods, his group stumbled onto a small company of Polish soldiers who had been hiding. During the confusion and shooting, he had climbed a tree which still had a lot of leaves, and hid there until the Germans led their prisoners deeper into the woods. A short while later uncounted shots took the lives of many. David waited in his secret roost until nightfall, and then started his journey back, walking mainly by night, resting or sleeping in wooded areas or stables by day, until he reached our home.

Days passed like a dream, like an illness with no end in sight. We lived looking forward from one day to the next, glad when a night had passed and the Gestapo hadn’t knocked at our door.

A great change came over Arthur. He grew restless and tense. Books, which normally occupied him day and night, lay untouched. He would not leave his room. He didn’t shave. He didn’t dress. He hardly touched his food, and I doubt if he slept.

One morning, when the war was almost six weeks old, Arthur announced at breakfast that he wanted to go to the center of town. We all knew that this was a dangerous venture. My parents realized that Arthur wanted to find out whether Gisa, his girl friend, had come back from the interior of Poland, whither she and her parents had fled the day of the invasion. They raised no objection to his going, told him to use his own judgment. He shaved and left, saying only, I am going now.

Papa and Mama watched from behind the curtains as he went down the street. They trembled and caught each other’s hands when they saw him pass a German soldier. They breathed easier when the soldier paid no attention to him. We waited anxiously, wondering how long it would take Arthur to come back, making allowance in case Gisa should have returned. I saw Papa swallow pills twice during that interminable wait. I watched Mama half-heartedly start several chores. We did not speak about Arthur or his mission but were painfully aware that each minute might spell tragedy for

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