Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Nothing to Eat
    Nothing to Eat
    Nothing to Eat
    Ebook78 pages36 minutes

    Nothing to Eat

    By Thomas Chandler Haliburton and Horatio Alger

    ()

    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 26, 2013
    Nothing to Eat

    Read more from Thomas Chandler Haliburton

    Related to Nothing to Eat

    Related ebooks

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      We’ve Been Spoilt For Choice

      Jul 1, 2020

      A LOT of us are missing lockdown already. It’s been so relaxing, without dinners to attend or parties to arrange, no teas, no commutes. Enterprises that called for decision and diplomacy were stayed, together with the school run. There are villages,

      2 min read

    • Article

      Hot Diggity Dog

      Aug 27, 2023

      ‘Is it a hotdog day?” I asked, with barely suppressed excitement. It was, Michele said. “Hip, hip hooray, it’s a hotdog day!” I may have cheered. I am not ashamed to admit nothing turns me into an overexcited child like the prospect of an American ho

      3 min read

    • Article

      Seven Poems

      May 1, 2022

      Seven Poems
      2 min read

    • Article

      Cooking with Colette

      Mar 15, 2019

      Cooking with Colette
      8 min read

    • Article

      The Peasants Are Not Revolting

      Mar 13, 2024

      WE couldn’t afford to live in St John’s Wood—think of the taxi fares’ (overheard in Claridge’s). ‘Are you going home with him?’ ‘I might as well: I am pregnant, anyway’ (overheard outside a Mayfair nightclub). ‘How do you take your coffee, madam?’ ‘L

      2 min read

    • Article

      Cost-of-eating-out Crisis

      Apr 5, 2023

      There comes an age when you get to a certain age – and that is the age when you are crumbling inside like a landslip, but determined to present a Mount Rushmore-strength façade of youthful capability to the outside world. Those who have gone before y

      3 min read

    • Article

      Cul-de-Sac

      Dec 1, 2021

      That old rage for order: how my father drove a square mouthed mower over-and-back, over-and-back, each row of neatly trimmed grass cut just like he told his barber: boy’s short, regular. O pioneer, taming this joke bit of prairie, no bindweed or dog

      5 min read

    • Article

      Eating My Words

      Nov 15, 2021

      Eating My Words
      9 min read

    • Article

      Tas-mania

      Mar 10, 2019

      Tas-mania
      6 min read

    • Article

      Hail Mary

      May 26, 2022

      “Yes, yes please dear boy. You can prepare me a small rhesus negative Bloody Mary. And you must tell me all the news. I haven’t seen you since you finished your last film.” Uncle Monty, the lubricious booby in Bruce Robinson’s wonderful Withnail & I

      2 min read

    • Article

      Patrick’s Pages

      Aug 26, 2022

      Patrick’s Pages
      6 min read

    • Article

      Drinking Buddies

      Feb 25, 2023

      Drinking Buddies
      9 min read

    • Article

      It’s A 10 From Me

      Apr 1, 2022

      It’s A 10 From Me
      3 min read

    • Article

      Toast Of The Town

      Nov 15, 2023

      Toast Of The Town
      7 min read

    • Article

      Dessert In The Land Of Plenty

      May 7, 2018

      Dessert In The Land Of Plenty
      7 min read

    • Article

      Why All The Fuss?

      Jul 28, 2021

      What do Robespierre, the late Duke of Westminster and I have in common? Probably not much, other than that none of us ever liked fancy food. Robespierre sent hundreds of French aristocrats to the guillotine while reportedly living on a bowl of gruel

      3 min read

    • Article

      Tales Of The Unexpected

      Jul 7, 2021

      THERE is a rule that nobody may ever know anything about other people’s marriages, a rule succinctly wrapped up in the old Yorkshire adage that there’s nowt so queer as folk. We are surrounded by unexpectedness. Things you thought you knew turn out t

      2 min read

    • Article

      Two Poems

      Jul 1, 2022

      After centuries of deferralto the white sky cloud cover God, who kept me on orange alert,babbling for mercies that were batted away sloppilylike dustballs in the wake of a sock, I turned to the Divine Creatrix,who built the short night, I was convinc

      2 min read

    • Article

      Smells Fishy

      Jul 13, 2020

      Smells Fishy
      3 min read

    • Article

      Mugged By A Mudcaked Spud

      Sep 29, 2022

      Mugged By A Mudcaked Spud
      5 min read

    • Article

      A Refusal To Mourn The Deaths, By Gunfire, Of Three Men In Brooklyn

      Jan 1, 2019

      And at times, didn’t the whole countrytry to break his skin?—Tim Seibles You strike your one good match to watch its bloomand jook, a swan song just before a nightwind comes to snuff it. That’s the kind of dayit’s been. Your Black & Mild, now, useles

      7 min read

    • Article

      I’ve Seen The Light

      Aug 10, 2018

      I’ve Seen The Light
      9 min read

    • Article

      Coasting The Gulf

      May 17, 2021

      A PERFECT ROAD TRIP BEGINS AT HAPPY HOUR, at Superior Seafood and Oyster Bar on St. Charles Avenue in New Orleans, for a dozen (or maybe two) oysters on the half shell and a frozen French 75. I know frozen drinks are for teenagers, and I am not one,

      5 min read

    • Article

      Readers’ Letters

      Jun 28, 2023

      Readers’ Letters
      6 min read

    • Article

      Wellshot Hotel

      Jun 17, 2021

      Wellshot Hotel
      6 min read

    • Article

      Coasting The Gulf

      May 17, 2021

      A PERFECT ROAD TRIP BEGINS AT HAPPY HOUR, at Superior Seafood and Oyster Bar on St. Charles Avenue in New Orleans, for a dozen (or maybe two) oysters on the half shell and a frozen French 75. I know frozen drinks are for teenagers, and I am not one,

      5 min read

    Reviews for Nothing to Eat

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Nothing to Eat - Thomas Chandler Haliburton

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Nothing to Eat, by

      Horatio Alger and Thomas Chandler Haliburton

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Nothing to Eat

      Author: Horatio Alger and Thomas Chandler Haliburton

      Release Date: June, 2004 [EBook #5868]

      This file was first posted on September 15, 2002

      Last Updated: July 2, 2013

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOTHING TO EAT ***

      Text file produced by Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks and the

      Online Distributed Proofreading Team

      HTML file produced by David Widger

      NOTHING TO EAT

      By Horatio Alger and Thomas Chandler Haliburton

      NOT By the Author of Nothing to Wear

      I'll nibble a little at what I have got.

      —"My appetite's none of the best.

      And so I must pamper the delicate thing."

      —The least mite will suffice:

      A side bone and dressing and bit of the breast.

      The tip of the rump—that's it—and one of the fli's"

      {Illustration: PROTESTING, EXCUSING, AND SWEARING A VOW, SHE'D NOTHING WORTH EATING TO GIVE US FOR DINNER.}

      NEW YORK

      1857

      Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1857, by EDWARD O. JENKINS, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York.

      Respectfully Dedicated

      TO ALL LADIES "DYING WITH DYSPEPSIA.

      Where fashion and folly are all of a suit.

      BY A JOLLY GOOD NATURED AUTHOR.

      CONTENTS

      NOTHING TO EAT.

      The Argument

      The Proof—the Queen of Fashion

      The Object aimed at.

      What another Poet did.

      How the Author sometimes Dines.

      Merdle the Banker.

      Places Where Mortals Dine.

      Things That Mortals Eat There.

      The Invitation.

      The Merdle Origin.

      Mrs. Merdle At Home.

      Mrs. Merdle goes to Market.

      The Dinner-bell Rings.

      The Dinner Table Talk.

      Mrs. Merdle doubts Paradise's Uneating Pleasure.

      Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Things Earthly.

      Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Things Eatable.

      Mrs. Merdle Ordereth the Second Course.

      Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Hygiene and Fish Sauce.

      Mrs. Merdle Describeth her Doctor.

      Mrs. Merdle Discourseth again on Dinner.

      Mrs. Merdle Accepteth of a slight Dinner, suitable for a Woman suffering with Dyspepsia.

      Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Wishes and her Sufferings.

      Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Pudding.

      Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of the necessity of good Wine and other Matters.

      Mrs. Merdle Suggesteth that Dinner being finished, the Gentlement will Smoke. In the meantime, she Discourseth.

      Mrs. Merdle, having Nibbled a Little for two Hours at Dinner, retireth from the Table unsatisfied.

      The Poet Moralizeth—He Discourseth to those who Gorge and Complain.

      He Discourseth of the Wherefore of Bachelorism.

      He Discourseth of What some Mortals Live for.

      He Imploreth Mercy upon those condemned with fashionable folly to Marry, and Illustrateth their Condition.

      He Imploreth Merry for other Unfortunate Beings.

      He Discourseth of a Common Prayer.

      He Discourseth of Trouble and Sorrow.

      He Moralizeth upon what a Day may Bring forth.

      ILLUSTRATIONS. (not available in this edition)

      PLATE I, NOTHING TO EAT

      PLATE II, THE DINING SALOON

      PLATE III, THE INVITATION TO DINNER

      PLATE IV, KITTY MALONE'S INHERITANCE

      PLATE V, THE MEAT MARKET

      PLATE VI, THE DINNER

      PLATE VII, THE WATER CURE

      PLATE VIII, AFTER DINNER

      NOTHING TO EAT.

      Not by the Author

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1