Going All The Way

Going All The Way

By

Geoff Edwards

Copyright 2011 Geoff Edwards

Smashwords Edition

Contents

We start from Los Angeles.

We’re Off

The South Sea Islands

Down Under

The Orient

Indonesia

India

Africa

Egypt ?

If At First You Don’t Succeed

Hawaii

South Pacific

Again Australia

Bali And Beyond

The Far East

Goa and India

The Arab Countries

Egypt

Israel

Italy

Heading Towards Home

Forward

I took my first cruise from Los Angeles, through the Panama Canal, and around the Caribbean. The cruise ship was a small Greek ship called the Jason, but I must tell you, cruising then was entirely different than today. The cruise staff did most of the entertaining, most of the bands on ships had an accordion player, and customer service was a bit lax.

My cabin had a bunk on each wall with safety straps to keep you in bed in case of rough weather. The portholes had wooden covers that could be screwed on to keep that rough water out of the cabin. When I complained about the air conditioning in my cabin not working, the ship sent an engineer to check it out. A sturdy Greek woman with a hint of mustache appeared in full uniform. She had no command of English, and Greek was, well, Greek to me. Fortunately, we didn’t need much communication to get the job done. I held my hand to the vent and said, Is warm! She put her hand to the vent and said, Is cold! And that was that. As Aristotle once said, It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it. Whatever.

As the Jason exited the canal into the Caribbean, we were pounded by some very rough seas, and she bounced around enough so that those straps and porthole covers came into play. I sat in the center of the ship on the Promenade deck, and, as advised, kept my eyes on the horizon. I wasn’t sick, but neither was I feeling well, and worse, I was hungry. They told us to eat dry chicken sandwiches which for some reason might stay in place after swallowed. On the Jason, everything was ordered from a desk just inside and off the main deck. I went up to the crewman on desk duty and asked for a dry chicken sandwich. He looked at me, said, Please wait a moment. He then opened a drawer, and from a height of about three feet, put most, if not all, of his stomach in the drawer. I passed on the sandwich.

That experience aside, a big attraction of cruising is the food. And there is lots, and lots of good food. With all that largess waiting, a good many passengers are wary of eating too much and gaining weight. I sat with one woman who looked at the menu and asked me what grouper was. I told her it was a whitefish that sometimes got as big as three hundred pounds. Oh, she said, I’m really not that hungry. Another tablemate ate a huge plate of pasta. After she finished, she was upset with the waiter. I told him, she said, to give me a small portion. Well, I countered, there was a small portion in there.

Today’s cruise guest has access to food 24 hours a day. Room service is always prompt, and the air conditioner will be adjusted to your liking. Nevertheless, no matter how luxurious the ships, most people who cruise share one single desire. One day, they want to cruise around the world!

I have been twice blessed in that regard, and what you are about to read is a diary of both of those blessings. Some of what I wrote will be a bit dated. For instance, all cruise ships now have access to the Internet operating 24 hours a day. Today’s passengers don’t have to seek out an Internet café at every port, and on a world cruise there are a lot of ports. But, you know, I think they’re missing something; that chance to interact with the locals and other travelers.

We start from Los Angeles.

The World Cruise

As each new three or four week cruise segment starts on the Royal Viking Sun, the Captain gives a welcoming party for the latest passengers. He always ends his welcoming speech by saying,

I am in charge of the steering, but you passengers are in charge of the weather. In retrospect, we had great weather.

My wife, Michael, and I are part of The Touring Company, a travel broadcasting team that takes the listener with us wherever we go. This time we are going around the world on Cunard’s Royal Viking Sun, and will be away from home for close to 100 days. We will broadcast back to Los Angeles every Sunday night.

On a world cruise, the basic fare is not all the expense that has to be considered. Visas cost over $500; the required injections sold to us by a health enhancement clinic that catered only to travel medicine, about $335, and the attendant antibiotics, just in case, another $300 plus. Then of course we needed clothes and luggage. Not just luggage, but LUGGAGE. The Royal Viking Sun is called a formal ship. According to the pre-trip information sent to us, every night at sea is formal. That translates to fifty formal nights. If you had seen my wife salivate at the thought of all those new clothes, you would have suspected rabies. My suggestion of one basic black dress and 50 scarves was not kindly received.

We’re Off

Saturday 20 January Day 1

We boarded at 8 AM in Los Angeles, and taped a radio show with Paul and Elizabeth Lasley, our travel and broadcast partners, who will anchor the studio broadcasts in Los Angeles. Our bags were put into cabin 343 on Atlantic deck. The cabin, if paced by a prisoner, would measure 7 by 4 ½ paces. It has a picture window at one end, and a bathroom and walk in closet at the other. There are single beds that make into a King size bed. Some furniture, a credenza with TV, and a makeup table with drawers round out the room. This is a nice cabin, but, since Cunard wants us to get the best available, we soon get upgraded to a better cabin with sliding glass doors opening on to a private verandah. Although the same size, it is much nicer and is on Scandinavia deck. Shipboard status is measured by the name of one’s deck. We have moved up.

Unpacking was not fun. Michael was quite anxious about spending so much time away, and every bit of frustration, fear, anxiety, and bottled up resentment that my lovely wife had buried as I cheerily made plans for the trip, now surfaced. Nothing I did to help was right; as a matter of fact, nothing I had done since birth was right.

Bags finally squared away and walk-in closet stuffed, we went to our first dinner on board. Our tablemates, Paul and Bill are two long time companions in their 70’s. They feel they are lucky to be on this trip. They planned five previous trips and each time Bill had an intervening health problem. One time it was open heart surgery; one time a broken spine; but this time they had made it. They are going as far as Singapore. We had a nice dinner, and enjoyed their company.

Michael was still a bit cranky, but was excited about seeing the evening’s entertainer, Bill Cosby. He was very funny. His routine was about the beauty of couples growing old together. Just in time!

San Francisco 21 January day 2

Many experienced passengers got off the ship today. They fly to Honolulu and rejoin the Royal Viking Sun there. Something about the seas this time of year. Oh you are staying on for the crossing? half smile. Bon Voyage! The minute we passed the Golden Gate Bridge we saw their point. Our second dinner on board the Royal Viking Sun was in the cabin. Rough seas take away any motivation to dress for dinner, much less attempt to keep it down it in front of others.

22 Jan 3rd day (at sea)

The sea has calmed somewhat, but too late for Bill and Paul. Bill fell when a particularly nasty swell hit last night and broke his hip. Bill will be in the ship’s hospital until he is transported for surgery in Honolulu. Their trip is at an end. Unbelievable bad luck!

Their cabin on Discovery Deck is bigger and a step up on the ship’s society ladder. I’m going to try to get upgraded to their space when they leave. Michael says I’m a ghoul. I will walk a mile to work off lunch, and scheme my approach to Peter Einfeld, the ship’s Hotel Director.

While walking at a very brisk pace, a woman in her seventies wheels in next to me and says that she doesn’t walk with her husband because he can’t keep up. The woman then shares with me that walking single file is preferable to walking with someone, and starts to pull away. I decide I will be the one to pull away, and increase my pace. I spend the next mile trying to catch her. I don’t, nor do I ever see her again.

We were first at the table tonight, and Andrew, our waiter, told us that the rest of the table had pretty much filled out. Three of the new diners, he said were widows, each making the world circuit. Michael immediately wants to change our table assignment. We had, after all, requested a table for eight with NON- world cruisers. The idea being that our tablemates would change throughout the voyage, and we would meet different people as we went along, rather than stay 100 days with the same group.

The newcomers consisted of Bee, Barbara, Joanne, Blair, Roger, and an empty chair. All three of the women took this World Cruise every year and knew everybody and everything about the Royal Viking Sun. Blair is part of the Jean Michael Cousteau (son of Jacques) enrichment group, and Roger is one of the gentlemen hosts. There are five hosts, and their job is to partner any unaccompanied woman on board who wants to dance. Joanne has a license to pilot a helicopter. Bee seems to be quite wealthy with friends in every port. Barbara talked to the empty chair several times during dinner. The women told Michael that she looked like a young Jane Fonda. Michael is 51. After dessert, Michael said that perhaps we should stay at that table for the time being.

Jan 23 day 4 (at sea)

Michael visited the injured Bill in the ship’s hospital. She gave him my electric razor and a World Cruise Jacket that was presented to us by the ship as a memento of this trip. This apparently made her feel less guilty about me trying to usurp their cabin.

Jan 24 Day 5 (at sea)

I met with Peter Einfeld today. He is not terribly gracious, and seems a bit put out by the whole idea of us doing weekly broadcasts from the ship. No way was he going to move us up to Bill and Paul’s room. He said that the room had already been taken. I wish I had my razor and jacket back.

There was a paddle tennis get together in the afternoon. An English lady named Peggy and I played against Rosario and Hap. Hap is a sweet guy in his late sixties. Rosario cheats. We started by arguing over the rules.

Well, this is the way we learned it on the QE2.

Well, they played it this way on the Crystal Symphony!

Well the QE2 has been around a lot longer than the Crystal Symphony.

Oh yeah, we had a SPORTS DIRECTOR on the Crystal Symphony.

Well, we are not on the Crystal Symphony are we?

We played Rosario’s rules. He was not much fun. My team won the match. He was even less fun. The official rules for this game must be around somewhere.

The Royal Viking Sun has a self-serve laundry and that is a godsend, as laundry on a ship is quite expensive. Michael did our first wash today. She left a pair of new black pantyhose in with the whites. I have been looking all over for a blue tuxedo shirt. The search is over. I also have blue underwear and athletic socks to match!

Jan 25 Day 6 (at sea)

Tonight is the Blue and Gold and White Officer’s Ball. Some lady in a garret in Copenhagen made paper hats for all the ladies to wear. They are very attractive. She also made paper officer’s caps for the men. They are really dorky. The Captain invited us to a cocktail party before dinner. Most everyone there wore their hats, except the real officers who know better than to wear hats in the Captain’s quarters. The cocktail party was crowded and full of I’m so and so from so and so and this is Mrs. so and so and this is our third World Cruise and how about you? Kind of the World Cruise version of Can you top this? We had fun, but were glad when it was time for dinner.

The ladies at our table customized their hats and were in unspoken competition with each other. The men and Michael, by their praise, gave Barbara the best hat award. Bee was kind of quiet after that, and Joanne left the table early. We went, hatless, back to our cabin to watch CNN.

Honolulu Jan 26 day 7

What a lovely day! The temperature is in the high 70’s and we take our first tour of many. It is a short bus ride to the USS Arizona memorial. While most of the big battleships that were sunk by the sneak Japanese attack December 7, were salvaged and saw later action, the USS Arizona remains as she sank, her decks, depending on the tide, around 8 feet under water. Her hull still contains the remains of the 1177 men who went under with her. As a matter of fact, any survivor of that infamous morning, who was a crew member of the Arizona or any of her sunken sisters, can opt for burial at sea and rejoin his comrades for eternity. The Memorial is treated with great respect by all who visit there. Before being taken to the actual ship, we saw a moving 25 minute film with actual footage of the powder magazine of the Arizona exploding, lifting her massive bow 25 feet into the air. This is a film devoid of any of today’s political correctness. It is an accurate portrayal of the occurrences of history and the feelings of the time. The Japanese, do not come off well.

Even so, a scattering of Japanese tourists were in our group. It warmed my heart to see a Japanese couple toss a wreath into the gentle swell washing over the Arizona’s forward gun turret. Traditionally, at the site of the Arizona herself, flower wreaths are tossed upon the waters in memoriam. Slowly, I realized their wreath was actually in memory of the Japanese pilots who died in this attack. The fact that we are all friends now only intensified my emotional conflict. I wonder how I will feel when I visit Hiroshima.

When we return to our cabin for the night, a note tells us our table has been changed. Michael, young Jane Fonda not withstanding, had convinced the maitre d’, Piero, to change our table each cruise segment. The argument being that our broadcast could then reflect a broad range of passenger experience. Michael’s charm and my $50 did the trick. We incorrectly thought this first segment would end upon our arrival in Cairns, and we had not prepared our tablemates for our departure. The problem is Barbara. At our last meal she talked about her former life in St. Thomas, and how the natives had been ruined by the New York Niggers. The N word! A hush came over the table. Our subsequent departure can only be interpreted as a reaction to this racist remark. Perhaps that is to the good.

Jan 27 day 8 (at sea)

A paddle tennis tournament is scheduled for today. I watched two men and their wives playing a practice match. Why must men take on these sports as if they are professionals? No one seems to have fun, and winning is the only goal. Bad calls, angry looks, deprecating remarks to their wives, and then finely the grim handshake at the end. Michael wants no part of the competition. Nor do I.

Oh yes, the rules. Ingrid at the purser’s office promised to have them delivered to our cabin. That was two days ago. For now the rules of play are decided by who shouts the loudest before the match. So far, the way we learned on the QE2. is becoming the Hoyle of The Royal Viking Sun.

It’s formal tonight again. The Cunard brochure and the ship apparently are at odds as to which nights tuxedo and evening dress were required. While the pre-cruise guide suggested every night at sea would be formal, the truth is only about every 4th or 5th fits that caveat. Michael has no more fear about running out of evening wear now, or for the next few years. But for me, the walk-in closet was still crawl-in. Michael prepared for this cruise by bringing everything she owned. The only way I could get past her gowns to my jackets was on my hands and knees.

Some passengers never worry about wardrobe. Some take the World Cruise on the Royal Viking Sun every year, and just leave their main wardrobe stored on the ship. There is one woman on board who wears a different outfit every day and every night. She has rented a separate cabin just for her clothes. A $70,000 closet.

Our new table waits. We will be spending the next three weeks with Eric, a Dane who works in the shore excursion office, Sally and Walter from Seattle; Jean, a neat and kind of crusty widow from Houston, and Jane from Toronto. Jane has sailed on this ship for as long as it has been afloat, and is just like a third grade teacher. The trouble is, she thinks we at the table are the third graders. While recounting an anecdote, she told Michael to sit quietly and listen, and, if she had questions at the end, she could ask them then.

Jan 28 Day 9 (at sea)

I am going to have to watch my weight. Although I’m walking almost 4 miles a day, at least one extra pound has crept aboard. It’s the desserts. What starts out as a bite of this and a taste of that soon turns into a feeding frenzy. The good news is, I am eating more healthy foods than at home. Salads every night and at least two kinds of fresh fruit every morning.

This is the second long stretch of days at sea and we are settling into a routine. We awaken at 7:30 and have breakfast on our verandah; then we walk at least 2 miles (8 times around the Promenade deck); after that we do any chores that must be completed. Lunch is an incredible buffet on the open Pool deck. Next some sun, some reading, and a nap. We walk another 2 miles after the nap. A Jacuzzi is next. From that point, I either write, or play the computer game Doom, or both. Michael reads.