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    Entering the Griever's Tunnel: Soft Care Ministry to the Bereaved
    Entering the Griever's Tunnel: Soft Care Ministry to the Bereaved
    Entering the Griever's Tunnel: Soft Care Ministry to the Bereaved
    Ebook128 pages1 hour

    Entering the Griever's Tunnel: Soft Care Ministry to the Bereaved

    By Saundra L. Washington D.D.

    ()

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    About this ebook

    This eBook was created to: a) assist Christians desiring to minister to those who have suffered loss due to death in understanding the complex phenomenon of grief; b) increase sensitivity to the bereaved c) offer effective techniques for providing Soft Care support and d) provide spiritual resources to share with the bereaved.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSaundra L. Washington D.D.
    Release dateSep 24, 2010
    ISBN9781452361819
    Entering the Griever's Tunnel: Soft Care Ministry to the Bereaved
    Author

    Saundra L. Washington D.D.

    Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,Christian writing in particular is an expression of my passion to educate and inspire the body of Christ. I enjoy writing (and reading) and perhaps the clue that it was to play a vital role in my future can be traced to my love of writing as a child. Actually, it was not writing but scribbling (smile). I would scribble pages and pages and go show my masterpieces to my mother for her critique. She always complimented me on how wonderful my stories were and had me interpret the meaning from time to time. But, to be honest, I never contemplated writing beyond those childhood illusions and fantasies. God does indeed work His will into the lives of those committed to Him.So now, decades later, semi-retired from pastoral responsibilities, I felt the Holy Spirit's urging to write what I otherwise would probably be orally teaching or preaching.I believe you will find my eBooks interesting, spiritually strengthening, educative, informative, motivating and encouraging as you grow in your spiritual walk.You are encouraged to view samples from each eBook to get a “feel” for content.God bless you and thank you for surveying my eBooks and perusing this profile.All glory to God!

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      Book preview

      Entering the Griever's Tunnel - Saundra L. Washington D.D.

      Entering the Griever’s Tunnel

      Soft Care Ministry to the Bereaved

      by

      Saundra L. Washington D.D.

      SMASHWORDS EDITION

      * * * * *

      PUBLISHED BY:

      Saundra L. Washington on Smashwords

      Entering the Griever’s Tunnel: Soft Care Ministry to the Bereaved

      Copyright © 2010 by Saundra L. Washington D.D.

      All Rights Reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. The NIV and New International Version trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica. Use of either trademark requires the permission of Biblica. The King James Version (KJV) is in U.S. public domain.

      ISBN: 978-1-4523-6181-9

      eBook cover courtesy of PacHD.com

      * * * * *

      To the honor and glory of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit!

      * * * * *

      The eBook is dedicated to all those attending to souls struggling in faith to make it through the dismal tunnel of grief and to the memory of our loved ones.

      * * * * *

      A Word from the Author

      What pain in life is more excruciating than the pain experienced from the loss of someone dearly loved? For humans bonded to another in love, it is a soul wrenching pain beyond compare. When a loved one dies, survivors hurt in a way that impossible to put in words. It is a crushing, devastating feeling that is indescribable.

      The intent of this eBook is to increase understanding of the complex phenomenon of grief and bereavement, particularly as it relates to loss due to death and to provide spiritual support resources for Soft Care Helpers to share with the bereaved.

      We will discuss the grief process, the different types of bereavement, identify typical behaviors associated with normal and unresolved grief," highlight the diverse ways in which humans grieve and explore the influence of cultural differences on grief.

      You will also be introduced to Soft Care approaches with adult and children grievers and explore the function and value of grief groups. Many of the frequently asked questions about how to respond appropriately to grievers are answered. Guidance and suggestions are given for maximizing your ability to render Soft Care help that facilitates grief relief.

      * * * * *

      Table of Contents

      Introduction

      PART I - The Tunnel of Grief

      Self Awareness

      Phases of Grief

      Myths about the Grief Process

      Factors Influencing How We Grieve

      Normal Grief Manifestations

      Abnormal Grief Manifestations

      Facts about Grief

      Types of Grief

      Grieving Special Types of Losses

      Grief Issues of the Aged

      Grief Work: What is it?

      PART II - Entering the Tunnel of Grief

      Soft Care Overview

      Soft Care to Grieving Adults

      Soft Care to Grieving Children

      Basic Myths about Children and Grief

      Understanding Child Development

      Explaining Death to Children

      Children’s Primary Needs

      Essential Characteristics of Soft Care Helpers to Grieving Children

      Professional Intervention

      Symptoms of Complicated/Unresolved Grief

      Soft Care for Helping Grievers through Holidays

      Grief Support/Recovery Groups

      Role of Rituals

      PART III - Soft Care Ministry Resources

      The Imperatives

      Scriptural Soft Care

      Soft Care Prayers

      Soft Care Questions that Engages the Bereaved

      Death and Dying Soft Care Meditations

      Death is a Reality

      Death's Gate

      Garden of Pain

      Jesus Wept

      Speak to Your Soul

      Falling Houses

      The Death of Death

      Soft Self-Care Kit

      Soft Care Message to Soft Care Helpers

      Soft Care References/Suggested Readings

      Soft Care Links

      About The Author

      Benediction

      * * * * *

      There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a.

      * * * * *

      Introduction

      Losses are an inescapable part of human life, but when they hit personally we are rarely prepared for the powerful feelings and physical reactions that result. And very few of us get the kind of support we need when these losses take place, even if we are blessed to be surrounded by caring and well-meaning people.

      In the following pages, you will explore the many ways that losses can affect us and how recognizing the effects of losses, whether recent or long past, can help you to minister effectively to the bereaved.

      As you read through this eBook, please keep these basic concepts to keep in mind:

      Bereavement - The general state of being that results from having experienced a significant loss; the fact of loss of a loved one who has died; a sudden change of status.

      Grief - The emotional response to the loss; the intrapsychic process of regaining equilibrium after a loss that requires reorganization on both emotional and cognitive levels.

      Grieving - The mental anguish of sorrow; how you think, eat, sleep, make it through the day and night.

      Grievers - Those experiencing the intense emotional suffering caused by loss.

      Mourning - The outward (public) expression of grief. Crying, talking about the person who died, or celebrating memories and anniversary dates are all ways of mourning.

      Grief Work - The process by which the bereaved comes to terms with the death of a loved one.

      Soft Care - A tender and compassionate approach to ministering to the bereaved as you journey God’s path through the tunnel of grief with them.

      * * * * *

      PART I.

      The Tunnel of Grief

      * * * * *

      Self Awareness

      Soft Care to the bereaved requires an acute awareness of yourself and your own issues. Who you are as a person affects the way you interact with others and how you are able to render help. If you are not in tune with your own issues regarding death and dying, your work with grievers will be seriously compromised. Conversely, awareness of your own vulnerabilities can have a positive effect on your work with the bereaved and allow you to minimize possible adverse effects.

      There are three areas you need to explore and give serious thought to:

      1) Your background related to death

      2) Your current personal issues related to grief and loss, and

      3) Your motivation as a helper.

      Historical Questions Related To Death

      1) What was your first encounter with death? What were your feelings at the time? How did others respond to those feelings and needs?

      2) How was the topic of death discussed in your family?

      3) What is your memory of your first funeral? How were you prepared for the experience? What role did culture and religion play?

      4) In what ways has your loss experience affected your life? How do you think it relates to your desiring to help others who have experienced a loss?

      Current Issue Questions Related To Grief and Loss

      1) What feelings are evoked when you hear someone talk about the death of a loved one?

      2) What emotions do you feel when someone is crying uncontrollably? How do you respond?

      3) How much personal reflection have you done relative to your own death? What have been your thoughts?

      4) What has

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