The God of Wine

Chapter ONE

His name was Bacchus, the Greek God of wine. The mother of this man, however, would know nothing of mythology. She planted him with such a name due to the abuse of drugs during pregnancy. It was, in fact, the name of one of her dealers, likely a street name. The father? Bacchus could never know, for his mother died one month after his birth. The cause? Bacchus could never know, for life as an orphan was not nor ever is easy. Each time he moved to a new orphanage or foster home, his familial identity became vaguer and vaguer to the point where tracking his blood would take far more effort than the product of its cause.

Now an ‘adult’ at twenty years of age, Bacchus lived each day just to see the next day. He consumed no drugs like his mother. They simply never interested him. Alcohol, on the other hand, was a golden daily treat for the God of Wine. But beer, not wine, was his alcohol of choice.

Odd jobs such as landscaping, mall cleaning, and vegetable picking kept the short change flowing for beer and rent on the roach-infested two-bedroom apartment in a rather rundown neighborhood of the city. His noisy and often eccentric roommate covered half the rent, if not all of it on occasion. August nights in the mountainous central Pennsylvania city were hot enough, but life in the growing city without air conditioning made it absolutely excruciating. Bacchus would have normally been miserable on the holey sofa watching Letterman on the small television with knobs, but he was stuck on something else this night, something he had never felt before.

One day earlier, Bacchus’ supposed friend Johnny had spotted him a quick cleaning job at a dirty hospital nearby. As he and his two co-workers were rushing out of the hospital with an ample supply of lifted hypodermic needles and rubber gloves, Bacchus’ eyes caught the image of a striking young lady with her left arm in a sling. As the others yelled at him to get moving, he nervously approached the girl, the gloves and needle boxes behind his back.

Hello, he said, his medium-pitched voice catching her immediate attention.

Hi, the girl returned, somewhat short of breath.

I’m Bacchus.

Beth. Elizabeth. Nice to meet you, Bacchus.

Like...likewise. He couldn’t look away from her perfect face, her flowing black hair. Beth, in return, found this handsome yet extremely rugged and filthy young man to her immediate liking. I, uh...

Bacchus! one of his co-workers shouted, obviously anxious to leave. Come on, man!

Your friends are ready to leave, Beth said. Are you?

Bacchus looked as though he’d lost his little mind. His chin began to tremble. No?

Beth, the older woman walking near the girl said.

Mom, hi. This is... She was ready to introduce the boy to her mother when she noticed he had gone through the door. The mother must have scared him off.

For thirty-two hours, Bacchus thought of this one minute of his life and nothing else. Something had come over the boy. His eyes and ears were directed toward David Letterman’s Top Ten List, but his focus was as far removed as possible. It began to get frustrating. He had no idea who this girl, Beth, was or where she lived. Did she even live in Kellering? He knew nothing other than how she made him feel. He began to shake in anxiety over the likely fact that this one moment may have been the only time he would see her, thus the highlight of his entire miserable life. I am hopeless, he said aloud.

Dionysus, rang Jeremiah, his tall and thin roommate, as he walked through the half-broken front door of the apartment. Bacchus immediately snapped out of his daze.

That’s not my name, he said.

Dionysus, Bacchus, it’s the same thing, man. You’re still the God of Wine, although the irony of the God of Wine drinking pretty much only beer instead of his namesake is funny.

I wish I’d never told you about my name, Bacchus said in a hushed tone.

Ah, let’s forget it, buddy. As a peace offering. He pulled a six-pack of beer from the brown bag he’d placed on the counter. Ta-da!

More beer, eh?

Not just beer, Bacchus. I know you’re on this kick about not drinking advertised beers, so I got you the beer of fine choosers. Pabst. Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Great, Bacchus sarcastically replied. Put it in the fridge with the other beer.

Oh, Dionysus, now you have more, he said before seeing the thirty-plus beers already in the cold fridge. Six different brands, all of them European. Now that’s just insulting.

Bacchus stood and went to the badly lit kitchen area with his roommate. Jeremiah?

I’m right here.

What’s a good way to reach someone you know nothing about?

What, is this a riddle? Bacchus, man, I’m not good with those.

No, I mean someone you’ve met, but only briefly.

Is there someone, Bacchus? A girl? A boy?

It’s a girl, but...

Hey, I’m fine the other way, too. One of my old roommates was gay and it was actually sweet if anything. I’m cool.

Honestly, man, it’s a girl.

Alright. He sat on the table. This sounds serious, guy.

Well, I don’t know how serious it is.

How could you not know? Jeremiah asked.

Because I’ve never really had a relationship.

Relationship. Shit! He pretended to wipe the sweat from his brow. I thought you were gonna say it was a hooker, Bacchus. This is a real girl.

I’m not joking, Jeremiah.

Okay, okay. I’m listening now.

Yesterday, at Hillgrade Hospital, I saw this girl. I met her, her name’s Beth, but her mom came up and scared me off.

"Her mom scared you? Damn, you’re not that much of a coward, are you?"

It looks like I am, Bacchus replied.

Well, what did this Beth do when you introduced yourself?

I don’t know.

You don’t...come on, Bacchus. This is ridiculous. You’re not a little boy anymore.

She made me feel little.

Little? Or innocent?

Huh?

Bacchus, what you felt was that she was superior to you.

That’s awful, Jeremiah.

No, that’s good. This girl, Beth, it seems she has smitten my God of Wine.

Shut up. He smiled.

It’s so true, Bacchus.

I hate it, Jeremiah.

Why?

Because...

Yes?

Because for the past day and a half, I’ve been denying what I know is...is love.

And there you go, Jeremiah mildly exclaimed as he gleefully stood from the chair. You found the final piece to the puzzle on your own.

No.

What?

No, it can’t be that way.

Jeremiah sat back down. How could you neglect your feelings, Bacchus? How could you, a man with little to no good in his entire life, deprive yourself of something terrific?

It’s difficult, Jeremiah.

No, it’s shit, Bacchus. It’s pure shit.

I can’t have it.

Man, you’re an idiot if you don’t give this to yourself.

I can’t help it.

Jeremiah brought Bacchus’ face to his. Listen here. If you don’t go after Beth, even if you can’t find her, then I’m afraid I can no longer be your friend.

But something tells me it’s wrong, Jeremiah.

Shut up and listen again. If you don’t pursue what’s in your heart, we will no longer be friends. Understood?

Bacchus leaned back in his chair. Can we still be roommates?

Well of course. I can’t afford this toilet of an apartment on my own. They both smiled.

If that’s how it has to be. Bacchus headed for the living room where the computer lay asleep.

Where’re you going? Jeremiah asked, in reality knowing Bacchus’ next action.

The internet. Maybe there’s something about her online.

Do you know how many people on the net are either named or go by the name ‘Beth’? You’ll never find her there.

It’s worth a try.

No, it’s not. Jeremiah took his friend by the arm and dragged him back to the kitchen and threw him in the cheap folding chair. This is not a scheme, but it’s a plan.

****

Chapter TWO

In a modestly sized white house on the south side of Kellering, a family of four prepared for dinner. The mother, an Italian-American with a seemingly permanent smile, carried a crock filled with manicotti and meatballs to the large rectangular table with white doilies. At the sides were the twin boys at age twelve, Daniel and Alvin. The mother, Elaine, in her fitting plumpness, sat at one end, her curly black hair dancing around her shoulders. At the other end sat the girl with gorgeous flowing black hair, Elizabeth Dean.

Elizabeth, Elaine said, would you lead us in grace?

Beth did not argue. She took her one arm not in a sling and started the prayer. The staunch Catholic family whose father figure had passed eleven years earlier never went through a meal without saying God’s prayer first. After that, however, no piece of food was left on the table. From rolls to green beans to small scallops to paella, any starving man would think such a meal was literally heaven. And it was, in a sense.

The twins noshed down the food rapidly. Elaine noticed something different about her twenty-year-old daughter, who normally ate at the same pace as Daniel and Alvin. Beth took slow bites, rarely looking at the piece of food on her fork. Her eyes were strained on the vivid chandelier above the table. Rather than make an issue during dinner, Elaine let it rest until the meal was done.

Beth had already begun placing the dishes in the dishwasher with her lone working arm. The boys immediately went for the video game in the living room once their bellies were full. Elaine came in close to her daughter to help with the dishes. Her subtlety was amateurish.

Don’t think I don’t know something is in you, doll.

Mom?

Elizabeth, your pretend ignorance may fool some, but I’m your mother. Tell me, honey.

Beth smiled as she resumed placing the dishes in the washer. There’s nothing wrong with me, Mom. What makes you think that?

Honey, my food is usually in your tummy within five minutes of the plates being placed on the table. You took your sweet time tonight. Should I be worried about this?

No, Beth replied in amused frustration. I assure you, Mom, that I’m totally fine. I’m just thinking about the semester coming up in a couple weeks.

No, Elizabeth, I’ve seen your concern for the start of a new semester before and this is not it. This was more of a blissful daze I saw you in tonight. Is it a boy?

Mom, if it was a boy I would tell you.

"It is a boy. Little girl, there’s no reason to be ashamed in front of me. I know you’re growing. Your sex life is of no concern to me."

Please, Mom. That’s not it.

Oh, I’ll act like it’s not true, Elizabeth, but I know it is. You haven’t complained about your sprained arm in two days. Mothers realize these things better than you might think.

It...

Oh, Elaine said, there’s something more to this. Who is he?

Beth momentarily stopped putting dishes in the dishwasher. Do you remember at the Hospital?

Yes, we...you mean that boy?

Mom, I don’t know what he did, but I can’t stop this feeling of...

Love, Elizabeth?

No.

No? Then what?

Dread.

Dread? The mother of young Beth didn’t expect such an answer. Years of undeniable knowledge in motherhood had never prepared her for this curveball. Beth, are you sure you’ve never met him?

Absolutely.

Then how could he bring dread?

Okay, Mom. You were half right. That boy, he did give me great feelings inside, but somehow he also brought this pain in my gut, like falling for him is wrong.

My little baby. That feeling happens to everybody when the so-called knight comes into view. You’re very young, Elizabeth. This boy gives you...wait. What was his name?

Bacchus. Her response was quick and clear; she was embarrassed to say his name.

That doesn’t sound right, Elaine said. That’s really his name?

Mom, I feel awful.

You think about everything too much, honey. Elaine sat her daughter down in the small kitchen chair and finished loading the dishes herself. You sit there and calm yourself. These things happen to girls who grow into women quickly. I remember when I had... She heard the sniffles and whimpers coming from Beth. She looked over to see the young girl cradling her head in her hands. Elizabeth, what is it?

Beth could not answer.

Beth? Elaine knelt down before her daughter and separated Beth’s hands from her face. Tell me, Beth.

It feels wrong in every possible way, Mom, Beth painfully said amongst the tears.

How is that?

I can’t find an answer for you, Mom. All things are spoiled now somehow.

Oh, dear. Just like any loving mother, Elaine took her daughter to her bed and consoled her for hours. The evening turned into the late night as Beth finally drifted off to sleep.

Elaine left her daughter’s room with the notion of disgust building inside. She had always been prepared for Beth’s youthful mischief. This appeared much more serious, however, and much less expected too. She worried, the only honest thing she knew how to do.

****

Chapter THREE

Excuse me, Bacchus said to a hefty female nurse. Has there been any young woman to come through this section of the hospital with a sling today?

Young man, the nurse replied in a low frequency, this part of the hospital is for patients or family of patients. Now I’ve noticed you standing here for three hours. Should you be here?

Well...

Obviously not. Leave, or I’ll call security.

As the nurse strutted away, Bacchus said, I didn’t know this was the bitch ward, in a volume a little higher than he’d desired.

The nurse turned back toward him. Come again?

Nothing.

No, you said this was the bitch ward. I tell you, ya little shithead, I have no patience for slimy assholes like you today. Get out or I’ll make you my patient one way or another.

Bacchus, with his angry eyes raised, succumbed to the bitter nurse’s threats and left. It didn’t appear he would see Beth on this day, the second day in a row of staking out the very hospital where he saw the lovely thing. Bacchus picked up the pay phone and slid fifty cents in the slot before dialing his home number.

Jeremiah?

Bacchus? She not show up today?

No. It’s starting to look shitty.

Alright. I’ll come and get you.

He hung up the phone and walked outside to wait for his ride. The cigarette he lit was much deserved in his mind. He rarely smoked. This trip to the hospital came at a price, unlike the day before. He had to give up a job mowing the lawn at the mall for this. His face was snarled, the look of pure disdain in himself and the world. The flashes of lightning around signaled a storm coming very fast.

Hey! shot out the deep voice of a large man. You can’t smoke that close to the entrance, you idiot! There’s people with respirators in there!

Bacchus gave the man a dirty look. The man, a very large fellow indeed, began to walk his way from down the sidewalk. Bacchus again swallowed his pride and moved away from the entrance. It was one of many things in a never-ending chain of personal defeats that had occurred since his birth. Bastardized by fate.

Hell could never be as bad as Earth, he stated to himself.

As he continued to walk further from the entrance of the hospital, Bacchus’ eyes caught the image of a girl. She wore a sling on her arm. It was faint, but it was something. The rain instantly began to fall from the sky. It fell hard. He ran through it, however, like he had never run before. Knowing it was risky, he managed to shout the name, Beth! The girl had gone inside. ‘It’s too late’ he thought. ‘Too late? Goddamn it no, it’s not. I’m not banned from the hospital’.

He ran in after the girl. Once inside, he rapidly looked around to see nothing. There were two hallways to traverse from the front lobby. He decided to take the one on the left. Searching room after room, he didn’t see the girl who may or may not have been Beth. He went back to the other hallway, a much busier area. Before he could enter, the angry nurse blocked his path.

I told you to leave, sir.

I have to get back there, lady.

Her manly arms went on his chest and pushed him back. Little did he know it at the time, but there was still a cigarette between his fingers, somehow still smoking after being doused in the rain.

"There is positively no smoking in this building, young man. I’ll see to it you never come back."

What? He looked to see the lit cigarette looking back at him. Oh, I forgot about this. Just let me go talk to her.

The patients who come in this place are under strict confidentiality, the nurse said, convinced of her own superiority. I’ll get your ass away from here myself.

She began to push Bacchus even more toward the exit. After four strong shoves, Bacchus cocked his fist back and brought it forward, punching the nurse at a great velocity directly against her right cheek. The nurse fell to the ground, instantly rendered unconscious. Rather than understanding what he had just done, Bacchus ran back through the hallway and began to search the rooms. Hospital security was already on his tail when he finally realized how much trouble he was in. He had to make this quick.

He ran past the rooms so quickly that he really had no chance of seeing the sections behind the doors. For all he knew, he had already passed the girl. She had to be in this hallway, however, because this section of the hospital was only one level high. As he passed the second to last room on the right, he saw a doctor examining somebody behind the door. He stopped and looked. There it was—the face that had haunted his every minute and every second of the past three days.

Beth, he said, nearly out of breath.

Ba...Bacchus? She saw the small splatter of blood on his deep orange hoody.

Excuse me, sir, the angry doctor said, but this is a private examination room.

Beth, I had to find you.

Um... Beth didn’t know what to say. Before she could get any words out, she saw Bacchus taken down hard to the floor by three security guards. Oh my God!

Don’t worry about that, the doctor said. We have lackluster security in the mental ward of this hospital. Now, let’s get this sling off. Your arm is already healed. With ease, he took the sling from her left arm, too caught up in his work to realize the tackled man knew Beth and Beth knew him.

Thank you, Beth said, ungrateful. Where, if I may ask, does security take someone like that man?

Well, if he were a regular man just breaking hospital policy, he would be taken to the security office on the second floor until the KPD came for him. This guy, though, was probably a mental patient. They’ll take him to isolation.

Thanks, doc.

Wait, don’t you want to know your next appointment date, Beth?

No. All healed. Thanks.

She walked quickly through the hallway toward the elevators. A large, masculine lady nurse was sitting on a bench against the wall of the lobby holding a very bloody rag to her mouth. Beth knew this had something to do with the odd incident just minutes earlier.

Once to the second floor, Beth headed for the lobby when she noticed an alarm sounding in the distance. Upon further investigation, one of the permanently closed doors had been opened. She looked inside to see one of the fat security officers wheezing heavily as he feebly ran down the stairs. She backed up while looking from side to side. The elevator was hers. She took it down and walked swiftly out of the hospital into the rain. She wanted to see Bacchus, but now it looked like he was a much worse person than she had originally perceived. Nonetheless, she felt crazy for still desiring another meeting with him, if at all possible.

She hopped in her car and began to drive out of the parking lot through the torrent. After turning right away from the hospital and then left, she saw a man in an orange hoody walking quickly along the sidewalk. Coincidence? Absolutely not. It was Bacchus. Leaving all reasonable judgment behind, she pulled her little Toyota over to the sidewalk and rolled down the window. Get in.

What? Bacchus was dumbfounded.

I said get in! Now!

Bacchus reluctantly yet gladly entered. Beth peeled out along the slick downtown street and headed north. It would be a defining direction in her near future.

Five minutes sped by with not one word spoken between the two. Her driving speed told Bacchus of her mental state. She was nervous, scared, possibly devastated. She stopped the car at the forested edge of a large park. As she stared forward at the drying windshield, Bacchus could not get up the nerve to turn and look at her. They stayed that way for almost one minute.

I’ll get out, Bacchus said, thinking his presence was honestly not welcome. He started to walk away when Beth’s voice hit his ears.

What is this?

He turned to look at her. "Beth, this was a mistake. This was a big mistake. I’ll go home now."

What is this?

Bacchus was paralyzed beside the car. I don’t know what I was thinking, Beth. This isn’t...

What the hell is this, Bacchus?

Beth?

What have you done to me? To my nerves?

Pardon me?

I haven’t been...

Yes?

Nothing.

Oh. Bacchus tried to be the gentleman and walk away.

You’ve done something to me, sir. I wish you could have done it to someone else, but I know how I feel. Who are you? What are you?

Beth, I’m sorry I’ve wrenched your heart or whatever it is you feel. But to be honest, I ask myself the same of what you did to me.

What did I do to you, Bacchus? She felt insulted.

He walked toward the girl. You, Beth, have placed this thing inside of me. It hurts me, it confuses me, it makes me hate myself. The worst part about it is I know what you’ve given to me is love, and there’s no reason for it to hurt so much. And love? Goddamn it, I’ve only met you once for a fleeting moment. It can’t be love. I’m just a damned person.

Bacchus, how is it possible for us to own the same exact feeling?

I wish I knew, Bacchus said, thinking himself the poison in Beth’s seemingly flawless life. He began to walk closer to Beth when she slightly backed off. It stopped the boy in his tracks. Confirmation. I see.

No, Bacchus. I want you to hold me. Her voice quivered uncontrollably. I want you to kiss me and much, much more. But there’s something that will not allow it. It’s like a monster holding me away from you.

I don’t know what to do, Beth!

Neither do I, Bacchus! They both cried plainly before each other. "I’ve known you, or at least known of you for just days, sir. Here it is, I feel like I’ve known you my entire life, even if that means my life began when I saw you at that goddamn hospital."

Beth, there seems to be but no other solution tonight. I need to walk away and we will never speak again. What’s inside of us hurts, but what may come of us I fear is much worse.

Bacchus?

It’s the only way, Beth.

No!

No?

Damn the monsters, Bacchus! She ran at the boy and quickly touched her lips to his. The kiss was long and far better than either had imagined. The angst and stress inside of both seemed to melt away instantly.

Beth and Bacchus had each other in the car at the park. No power on Earth could have stopped the events from occurring, although what happened earlier at the hospital seemed to be a vivid sign of something trying to intervene.

The passion was over, but only physically. They sat fully clothed atop the Toyota and stared at each other.

This is wrong, Bacchus said with eased sincerity.

I know, Beth replied, smiling. I know it is. She wrapped her arms around him and placed her head in his chest. Lightning began to strike again in the near distance. You might have a warrant by now, Bacchus.

That’s true.

What are you going to do?

Beth, there’s no reason to bring that up right now. Let us enjoy this evening.

Aren’t you worried?

The doomed never worry, my dear.

Beth, stunned by what this handsome man said, removed herself from his arms atop the car. What did you say?

It’s nothing, Beth. Just lay back and try...

No, you said you were doomed, Bacchus. What does that mean? Tell me what that means.

It’s just that I know my fate. Or my fate after this lifetime.

What?

It’s only the truth, Beth.

How can you say that, Bacchus?

Beth...

It’s never too late to change things, you fool. You see this? She exposed the necklace of St. Christopher on her chest.

Yeah, I see it.

It’s God’s goodness, Bacchus. I’m Catholic, proud Catholic. You can always find God.

It’s useless when God drew my lines at birth, he confidently said. I can’t find him when he won’t let me find him. I accepted it long ago, Beth.

But there’s no way of knowing such crass things. You’re insane.

The signs, Bacchus continued. They’ve told me what’s to happen once I’m gone. My mother was apparently a crack whore who didn’t care if I lived or died, none of my foster families even remotely liked me, school was a fucked up tragedy for me, and you saw what happened at the hospital today.

That’s just bad luck, Beth said.

Luck? Luck doesn’t exist, Beth. Every road is already paved for everybody.

I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

The moment I saw you in hospital three days ago, I knew at least someone in another dimension liked me.

"And that should be proof enough that there is hope, Bacchus."

Beth, every time I’ve walked into a church, placed my hand around a crucifix, it immediately felt wrong. Very wrong. All the motions are there. Only thing left is to die.

Beth jumped from atop the car. I’m leaving.

Don’t get upset, Beth. Ah, damn it. He leapt from the car.

Bacchus, maybe this is why it felt so wrong.

But...oh Beth, you’re right.

We should have... She began to cry again. We should have stopped when you said.

Yeah, Bacchus reluctantly agreed. We should have.

I’m obviously not going to change your mind about this, Beth said. I can’t just take your beliefs and corrupt them, no matter how awful.

Well, it’s not so much a belief as it is a realization.

It appears we’ll never speak again.

It appears so, Bacchus mumbled, trying hard to hold in the tears. It mimicked Beth’s actions