Leading Ladies:Women Who Inspire India

LEADING LADIES: Women who Inspire India – Volume One

By Sudha Menon

Copyright 2011 Sudha Menon

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LEADING LADIES

Leading Ladies is an inspirational book that follows the journeys of some of India’s most-admired women achievers who have made a difference to society with their stellar work and other pursuits that touch our lives, in more ways than one. This volume brings alive their unique stories with personal anecdotes that will serve as a beacon for many of us.

While a lot has been written about how these women have achieved success, the book aims to highlight the guiding principles of their lives, the personal and professional beliefs that drive them, the life and management practices that have always stood them in good stead, and the non-negotiables that have guided them on their path to success.

What makes the woman professional/entrepreneur/achiever/leader tick? What is it that drives them? What are the rules by which they play the game? Is there a level playing field for women? Do women need a level playing field? Is there something males can learn from their female colleagues? Are women leaders also from Venus along with the rest of their clan or do they belong to Mars too? These influencers are well-equipped to provide the right insights.

The author borrows from her journalistic experience to elicit a fresh view from some of India’s brightest minds; trendsetters who have not just carved a name for themselves in their chosen path, but have become the torch-bearers for countless others in urban and rural India who want to follow their dreams, reach their goals, and give back to society.

PRAISE for LEADING LADIES

Grit, guts and gumption are some of the fascinating insights from the mind and soul of women who have changed the face of India’s workforce. Each story tells of meritocracy; not triumph over gender bias. The book is an inspiration for a generation and more.

DEEPAK PAREKH

Chairman, HDFC Ltd

I am sure Sudha’s book on the inspiring lives of India’s leading ladies will appeal to a varied audience, including young women professionals. The life journey of successful people, the joys and challenges they face and the manner in which they overcome the difficulties help individuals find solutions to their own problems. The simple and appealing style of the book makes it for very easy reading.

S RAMADORAI

Vice Chairman, Tata Consultancy Services

A truly inspirational book bringing to life the strong sense of purpose that has driven the achievements of several outstanding women leaders in India. This is a book that should be read by both men and women. Women will surely feel energised at what is possible for them. For us men, it is another reminder of the enormous potential of women in business and all walks of life. This book will help the world realise the full potential that women have to offer.

VINDI BANGA

Partner CD&R

Former Global President, Unilever PLC

‘This book brings out in vivid detail stories of women who refused to be cowed down by circumstances and stood their own with dignity, rising above the ashes, not with arrogance, but with humility. It beautifully brings to light the human side of India’s women achievers and reminds us that every achievement comes after much sweat and heartbreaks. What is remarkable of these women is not only their indomitable spirit to rise against all odds, but also their urge to do something for others, especially so that others do not have to go through the trials and tribulations that they themselves had to undergo. Although their path to success was lined with difficulties, they felt the need to give something in return to the society in which eventually succeeded. All these only drive home one thing I always believed: woman is not equal to man – and before any eyebrows are raised, let me rephrase it – woman is unique and she can, and will, make her own place."

USHA THORAT

Deputy Governor, Reserve Bank of India

The book is a collection of the personal journeys of some remarkable and very eminent Indian women. These are women that we have read about and perhaps even seen some of them on stage somewhere, but the author has been able to persuade them to share with her some of their most private thoughts and reflections so we as readers can be an intimate part of these journeys and not merely distant observers. The women that the author has chosen to document, like most of us, have had to face their own fears and insecurities as well as confront some very real challenges. The stories that the author has been able to capture talk to us about the very personal pathways that each of these women took to get to their individual destinations and in so doing, teach us and inspire us to live our lives with similar courage and determination.

NACHIKET MOR

Co-President, ICICI Foundation;

Chairman, Sughavazhvu Healthcare

‘The book is very compelling and makes a lively read. I really enjoyed reading the interesting interplay between the personal and the professional dimensions of the people Sudha has profiled. It’s a must read. Very inspirational!

CYRIL SHROFF

Managing Partner, Amarchand & Mangaldas

and Suresh A. Shroff & Co.

I have had the pleasure of reading portions of the book Sudha Menon has written on select women leaders in different professions. This is a well-researched effort to evaluate their achievements and the hard challenges they faced in their personal as well as professional life. The author needs to be commended for eliciting important details from the subjects she has chosen, bringing out their values and the factors which enabled them to successfully compete with their male colleagues in a not-so-friendly environment. I recall a classic answer given by a leading professional to the question whether selections at top level were fair to the women candidates in consideration. She had replied: ‘To excel among the peer group, a woman has usually to perform twice as well as a man; but then it is not that difficult.’ Ms Sudha Menon has strewn together a gripping account of interesting careers with remarkable skill and in very readable prose. I had the privilege of working with some of the people covered in this book in committees and conferences. My impressions about their calibre and quality are well reflected in this book.

NARESH CHANDRA

Former Cabinet Secretary and

Indian Ambassador to the USA

I am glad that I have the opportunity to convey their story and wisdom to help inspire and influence your approach to life and work.

PREFACE

Writing this book has infinitely changed my life. But if I were to name that one single most important transformation that it has brought about, it is the power to believe that everything is possible, if you can just believe in yourself. Among the many things that I learnt is that a majority of women, no matter what they do or where they live, have a common thread running through their life that makes them bond over the simple things – love, kindness, a basic honesty in relationships and complete commitment to their family and work.

I have been repeatedly asked why I chose to write on this subject. Well-meaning friends cautioned me that the lives of the women in this book have been profiled many times in newspapers, magazines and even books, that people probably know their stories, and enough and more information is now available at one click. My answer to all of them was, clichéd as it sounds, that this book is different – much more than just profiling the success stories of successful Indian women. I was aiming to get to the core of their beings, hoping to find the inner reservoir from which they drew strength to chart their journey, often solitary, sometimes a little frightening because many a time they had no examples or role models to follow, or seek guidance from. Hoping I would be allowed entry into that sanctum sanctorum and given access to the tenets that these women have followed or even created while tackling day-to-day existence. Hoping I would be able to present their personal survival guides and valuable life lessons to the many of us who face similar situations, one time or the other.

Their stories might seem like fairy tales, but none of them came into this world a winner, a picture-perfect being with all the attributes that characterise a diva. Each of them had to fight personal weaknesses, conquer inner demons and brave severe odds to reach where they are today. Some of them are ordinary human beings like you and me who worried they did not have what it takes to accomplish a cherished goal, fought against a system that put them at a disadvantage, and raged when the people around them would not understand their need to go that extra mile. These smart, courageous, no-nonsense and extremely humane women became extraordinary by sheer dint of hard work and the strength of their will power. Theirs are the stories from which each of us can find hope in our hearts and inspiration to follow our dreams, when our battle-weary souls despair.

The women in this book never acknowledged the existence of a gender divide or the proverbial glass ceiling at the work place. Instead, they spent their time with me counting their blessings, their strong belief in the innate goodness of human beings and in karma. They highlighted the importance of strong elders in their lives – who encouraged them to live a life of values, gave them wings to fly and the vision to dream big. Most spoke about the invaluable role of husbands in their journey to a fulfilling career and life. It is necessary for us to believe that our partner is an extraordinary human being, one of them told me. An ailing mother was the reason for another to give up a highly successful career in the US. One woman fought back tears as she spoke of struggling to get back on her feet every time an indifferent system heaped humiliation and disdain on her, as she braved on to bring glory for the country. Yet another spoke about her husband who was diagnosed with cancer just days before we met, emphasising how important it was for her to be there for him during the difficult days of chemotherapy. Others spoke about the privilege of having supportive in-laws who cared enough to be with their children when work took them travelling all over the world.

I am blessed that my subjects, with whom I now feel an unseen bond, gave me the luxury of their time, to allow me to learn so much from each of them. I am glad that I have the opportunity to convey their story and wisdom to help inspire and influence your approach to life and work.

I began work on this book at a time when I had given up a valued 22-year-old career as a journalist. I was vulnerable at that point, a little scared of the future, worried about the uncertainty of not having a monthly pay cheque and life felt a wee bit gloomy.

From the depths of that darkness emerged the idea of this book, which had been rattling around in my head so long that it had become part of my subconscious must-do-before-I-kick-the-bucket list. Over my two decades in journalism I came in touch with many remarkable, successful, accomplished women and each time I put a reminder to myself, in my head, that some day I would go back to meet these women at leisure, to find out more about their lives than have made it to the printed pages.

These generous women took time off frantic work schedules, rare family holidays and cherished alone-time, to share their lives with me. One of them scheduled a few hours of the last day of a precious holiday, just days before sending her daughter abroad to study. A talented woman, still hurting from the unexpected death of her mother, voiced her bewilderment in coping with life’s challenges without her mother’s loving presence and support. Another spoke about the years when she went about feeling inferior because she could not become a mother like other women and a single mother spoke passionately about living life on her terms and letting her children do the same. While talking animatedly about their lives, each one of them was simultaneously interested in me and my personal journey, too. Months after meeting me, each of them remained actively involved in my project, going out of their way to help me tie up all the loose ends and making sure I had a hassle-free run. To all of them, I remain eternally grateful for being my companions-in-arms. I am honoured and privileged to know them so closely.

There are hundreds of similar women across this huge country of ours, doing stellar work, some unsung, some very much in the public eye, who have inspirational words to share. In fact, many of the women in this book themselves told me about so many other women who are doing remarkable work. This book is the first of this enlightening journey and I look forward to coming back with more soul food for our hardened and, sometimes, cynical spirit.

These women taught me that the most important thing for a woman is to follow her heart and live her life with integrity, honour, love and commitment. And if that is done in the best manner possible, it is possible to achieve that most coveted of things – peace of mind.

Like I said, writing this book has changed my life in more ways than I can ever count.

CHAPTER

THE FEMININE WAY

by ELA BHATT

Women’s leadership needs to be nurtured, since that is the only hope if an inclusive, just society and a sustainable environment are to be created.

WHAT CAN I say about the women of our country that has not been told before or discussed endlessly before today? Simply this – I believe women are the future of our country, if they can just take themselves seriously, value their own worth a bit more, and leverage their collective strength to make this country and indeed, our world, a better place to live in. Women are the key to nation building and peace building and I believe governments can learn a lot about international relations from them.

Our grihinis don’t know how much of a difference they can make in this world. Right from her birth the only constant in her life is change – growing up in a household where she is possibly not wanted because of her gender, going to her husband’s house and adjusting to the conditions there, and building a new life for herself with complete strangers. At every stage she has to adjust to the new realities of her life. The wonderful thing is that through all these phases of her life she nurtures relationships – with herself, her new family, her neighbours, her community. And she stands up for the weakest member of her family. A woman lives her life through peace and consensus. It is her belief that things can be done with love; there is no need to resort to violence. Governments can learn from women the art of building relationships and creating win-win situations for everyone.

I worry sometimes that we don’t know or don’t have confidence in our collective strength and that we don’t think about the change we can effect. It is time we think about the future we want for ourselves. Have we, as women, for instance, thought about what our stand will be when we take leadership positions in this country? It is pointless if we were to become part of the same systems or sit in the Parliament and become another cog in the same old formal structures made by men. There is nothing feminine about it.

I am convinced that there is a feminine way to do things, which has the potential to change the world. For this, we have to grow at our own pace, so that when we finally get to our chosen destination, nobody can rob us of our shakti. Why did it take Sewa (Self Employed Women’s Association) 30 years to become an organisation of over 1.25 million women? It is because we took our own time to move to where we wanted to reach.

We women have to think harder and deeper about what kind of world we want. We have to think together what our causes will be, what will be our strategies, what will be our relationship with our neighbour Pakistan or with Afghanistan? What will be our policy on globalisation – we have to figure out why the humble farmers in Banaskantha from northern Gujarat can’t directly connect with the farmers of Mexico? What is our stand on the environment? The two major challenges faced by the world’s leaders today are climate change and inclusive development. What is the feminine way to tackle these two issues? We need to include men in our talk once we are serious.

God has privileged us with a nurturing spirit that is constantly concerned about the well-being of our children. We have yet to extend this concern to include the rest of the world and make it our home, instead of keeping ourselves limited to our own four walls. Women are so resilient, so resourceful; they forge their own methods to get ahead with their aspirations. They can do so much more.

I have great faith in the capacity of our women. As chairperson of the National Commission on Self-Employed Women and Women in the Informal Sector, I travelled 17 states and held over 1,400 meetings, talking to women from various trades for the Shram Shakti report. Each time, I was impressed by their aspirations, and their need to somehow achieve their goals. So many of them had been deeply impacted by the life of our former prime minister, Indira Gandhi. They said: if she can do it, so can we. It is very unfortunate that we did not manage to channelise those aspirations and give them a purpose. Today, Sewa is unable to cope with the enormous aspirations of our members – they are so ready, so restless to do more with their lives, grab every opportunity that comes their way. It is both exciting and humbling that the poor rural women, who society thinks of as just people on the sidelines of life, have so much more to contribute to this nation.

A woman’s capacity to work is endless. For her, work is worship, and her very survival. Work, paid or unpaid, keeps her hands and brain constantly active and I believe this is what makes her more robust and a much better fighter against the wrath of nature. When I go into the villages, I often see men who are merely 40-45 years of age sitting around listlessly, depressed because they have either lost a job and want it back, or their skills have been rendered redundant. But in the midst of the worst drought or flood, women do find some work; they find something to eke out a livelihood because they are too much concerned about their family, their children. That concern is the focus of a woman’s entire life and she will not allow herself the luxury of being depressed or lethargic. Single-handedly she strives to pull her family out of bad situations and I believe that collectively they can do that for this nation too.

It is necessary that no matter what section of society she belongs to, every woman has to know three things: one, she has to know her body, how it works, so that nobody can use it or tamper with it against her will. Two, every woman has to have a skill that can generate income for her. This is very important so that she is not dependent on anyone for her survival. And three, every woman should be broadly aware how the democratic structures and institutions of our country work – be it the gram panchayat, the state assembly, the national parliament, or our unions, cooperatives, federations and associations, so that she knows she belongs to them and can some day participate in them. Only when they participate in them can they become part of the mainstream. I have seen this happen with the women joining unions and cooperatives and SHGs (self help groups) in India.

It is Sewa’s strong assertion that our members gradually gain ownership of assets. I have seen that this is the surest step to coming out of poverty. Assets have many forms. That may be her bank balance, a piece of land, shelter, craft tools, cattle, a licence, a share certificate, even a ration card or an identification card. Moreover, it is my lifetime experience that assets are safer in the hands of women than their men. True. I have seen her achieve real empowerment when she manages these assets, her own or of her collective. Managing the resources gives her confidence and strength to stand firm on the ground.

For most of the women from the villages, it was very difficult to just dare to step out of their kitchen and walk to the living space which is usually occupied by the men folk and the elders. From that scenario, walking out of the doors, out of the village and into a town and opening a savings account of their own, having a printed receipt in their hands is in itself a great journey that is hardly recognised. They need support in undertaking this endeavour, but when they do that collectively it is an exhilarating, liberating experience.

To have her own identity, even if it is just in the form of her picture on a bank passbook, or an identity card, or to receive a post card at her home address means the world to a woman. She is no more just a faceless toiler, but a citizen in her own right. For someone who, in all probability, has never been asked what her name is, this is a huge accomplishment.

Our governments have not put their weight and commitment behind making a sustained, well thought-out policy that can leverage the power of our women. Their approach to women, much like the approach to the poor, is sporadic and not enough. Women get the occasional crumbs thrown at them. Their opinions are not sought, their participation is not thought of – so often they look like they are non-existent – on resolving national issues, say, like price rise or Kashmir or compulsive migration. Women’s approach to resolution is bound to be different. I trust women will bring constructive, creative and sustainable solutions to the table.

Yes, I do see women making a breakthrough. But women’s leadership needs to be nurtured, since that is the only hope if an inclusive, just society and a sustainable environment are to be created. Let me explain. In the women’s approach, there are goals but there are also values, the process of unfolding and learning from the process. The feminine has a different sense of time: the work may take whatever time is needed. Sewa has taken 30 years to reach a million people. What I have seen and learnt is this: the feminine way tries to include the whole, waiting for those left behind, even if it means delaying the group or the process. It aims more on end-goal, group over individual, integration over fragmentation.

You would ask me why this is relevant today. The world today needs more feminine leadership, because we face one of the most challenging tasks of transformation of our times. And the feminine is needed not just in the form of more women leaders, but also in the form of men honouring the feminine within them. Feminine leadership is needed to balance the very masculine models that abound, which do not always produce the world we want…. all this is pregnant in women, if women take themselves seriously. For me a woman is the past, the present and the future of our society, and there is no greater strength than that of a group of determined, committed women!

(As told to Sudha Menon)

ELA BHATT is the founder of Sewa (www.sewa.org), a primary trade union with a membership of over 1.25 million poor and self-employed women.

CHAPTER 1

AMRITA PATEL

"Educated women from the cities are letting their village sisters down by not participating in their development.

We need a whole lot of committed women to make a difference to the way their sisters live in villages."

THIS IS THE unfinished story of the journey of a privileged child who could have had life’s comforts for the asking, but decided instead to live in India’s rural heartlands, working for the simple folk who till their land and live in harmony with nature, along with their treasured animals. Amrita Patel was just 15 when she came to face an India that was far removed from the city that she had grown up in. The teenager, who arrived at her