Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Milk and Cookies
    Milk and Cookies
    Milk and Cookies
    Ebook126 pages1 hour

    Milk and Cookies

    By James Lockhart Perry

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    When it comes to falling in love, Tammy Whinot will stop at nothing:

    No matter that when she meets Mr. Perfect, he's shooting it out with a Chechen convenience store owner.

    Or that five minutes later he takes a leap over a drunken Porsche into a coma and a stint in a wheelchair.

    Or that the fixer-upper Tammy buys Mr. Perfect contains a family of ghosts trapped in an afterlife of murky tribulation.

    Or that tribulato numero uno is the mobster Tony Ten Finger's obsession with recouping the $9.5 million Ghost Ted embezzled from him.

    What a girl needs in this dating hell we live in are great instincts, and Tammy has some of the greatest:

    She can see past Joe Lamb's haphazard suicidal tendencies to the pot of dull stability that lies beneath.

    She can charm a family of irritated ghosts into defending her to the -- uh -- death against a swarm of gangsters.

    She can spot the rose in a patch of weeds, the courage in a frightened coward, the hope in a broken bicycle, and the love in a mistreated child.

    If the finest quality of an American hero is an absolute faith in humanity, then Tammy makes the grade with powers to spare.

    Don't misunderstand her -- sooner or later everybody does something bad -- Tammy herself isn't above a little kidnapping, blackmail, and grand larceny -- but the trick in love and life is to find someone who does bad things badly and ugly things worst of all.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJames Lockhart Perry
    Release dateOct 2, 2011
    ISBN9781465748904
    Milk and Cookies
    Author

    James Lockhart Perry

    A note on the screenplays: Everything I ever learned about the craft came from reading screenplays generously uploaded to the internet by far more talented writers than me. So I am returning the favor here. But free of charge does not mean free. Please respect the licensing requirements. James Lockhart Perry was a Texan born on Valentine's Day in 1892 into the wilds and woolies of East Texas, yet he never worked the oilfields that erupted all around and became so potent a symbol of the brash, lawless state the rest of us recognize. Daddy Jim, as he came to be known, patiently farmed the rice fields, married the fine-looking Missouri-bred schoolteacher Dora Mae, and built a beautiful yellow house in the tiny hamlet of Markham for his three lovely daughters Adrienne Lavonne, Audrey Louvelle, and Anita Lorraine. He also built a legend in his lifetime for tireless inner strength and placid outer humility. So the author's use of Daddy Jim's name for a pseudonym serves as homage as much as anything to the towering gentle spirit of that pioneer and his brave people. The only historical connection Daddy Jim and the author share is that Daddy Jim died on the author's twelfth birthday, thirty-three days before John Fitzgerald Kennedy set off with Jackie of the pink pillbox hat for Dallas. And the fact that both author and rice farmer have loved Daddy Jim's granddaughter to distraction. The smartest thing the author ever did, apart from quite literally forcing the granddaughter to marry him, was to buy her a camera. Since then the couple has stretched the meandering, shutterbugging progression of their lives around the globe, until twenty years ago when they finally settled down on the beach south of Los Angeles, California. Where the surf rolls in with the same steady, timeless rhythm of the rice waving in the breeze of Daddy Jim's long vanished fields.

    Read more from James Lockhart Perry

    Related to Milk and Cookies

    Related ebooks

    Performing Arts For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    Related categories

    Reviews for Milk and Cookies

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Milk and Cookies - James Lockhart Perry

      Milk & Cookies

      An Intermittently Romantic Comedy

      An Original Screenplay

      by

      James Lockhart Perry

      Copyright 2011 James Lockhart Perry

      Smashwords Edition

      Licensing

      Everything I ever learned about the craft of screenplay writing came from reading screenplays generously uploaded to the internet by far more talented writers than me. So I am returning the favor here. But please respect the licensing requirements. And these are that this eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please download/purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please obtain your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

      Author's Note

      For the uninitiated, V.O. signifies Voice-Over, and O.S. signifies Off-Screen. The O.S. speaker is in the scene, just not visible on the screen. Who knows where the V.O. speaker is -- in your imagination? All scenes take place either inside (INT.) or outside (EXT.).

      FADE IN:

      A BLACK SCREEN

      Shouts and squeals of running, stumbling, falling CUSTOMERS in a crowded convenience store robbery. Bottles and cans crash to the floor.

      INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY

      Wild gyrations in the chaos surrounding the stocking-clad, track-suited JOE LAMB. Joe quakes at the counter, pointing a violently shaking revolver at the thoroughly evil, muscle-bound CHECHEN Store Owner.

      Terrified Customers stumble over each other to get out of the way.

      Joe forgets his lines. The cagey, vicious glare of the Chechen unnerves him.

      CHECHEN

      Whatchyou want!

      JOE

      I... I...

      Joe glances around in a panic. Next to a soda display, the gorgeous TAMMY WHINOT watches, too absorbed to flee.

      TAMMY

      I think he wants the money!

      Joe glares at the vision of a girl. She smiles hesitantly. The Chechen feints to the left, Joe shoots.

      JOE

      Hey!

      CHECHEN

      Take it easy!

      TAMMY

      The money! He wants the money!

      JOE

      Yeah! That's right! The money!

      The Chechen shakes his head, disgusted. He leans down behind the counter.

      Tammy edges to one side to see what he is up to and topples a soda display. Bottles crash to the floor, the store floods with soda.

      The Chechen dives, Joe shrieks and empties his revolver into the wall. Bullet after bullet smashes into liquor bottles. The revolver clicks on empty.

      The Chechen comes up with a vicious leer and a shotgun.

      CHECHEN

      Poka zadnica...

      Joe shrieks with surprise and throws the revolver at him. The Chechen aims and pulls the trigger -- the shotgun clicks.

      CHECHEN

      Pizda!

      Joe bolts from the store.

      EXT. STORE/PARKING LOT

      Joe exits running. Behind him the store window shatters in a blast from the shotgun.

      Joe stumbles across the lot. The Chechen exits through the flying glass and advances steadily, pumping round after round into the shattering car windows.

      Joe hesitates, frantic.

      JOE

      Where's my car!

      Around the lot, twenty identically dirty, banged-up, white Toyotas.

      Joe races from car to car, trying the doors. Finally he gives up and escapes to the street.

      EXT. FREEWAY - A RACING PORSCHE CONVERTIBLE

      Fills the screen with bright red as it roars by.

      INT. PORSCHE

      BOBBY and CINDY in tennis whites. Bobby is rich, callow, and blind drunk. He steers the car while clutching a bottle, unzipping his shorts, and coaxing Cindy's head into his lap.

      CINDY

      But I don't do that!

      BOBBY

      Whaddya mean? Everybody does it! If your mom was here, she'd be fighting you for it!

      CINDY

      How can you say such a thing?

      BOBBY

      Your dad! He was all over the locker room with it!

      CINDY

      You're lying! Daddy would never -- WATCH OUT!

      Bobby careens away from a near miss with a howling eighteen-wheeler. Traffic scatters.

      BOBBY

      Shit! My exit!

      EXT. FREEWAY

      The Porsche flies across three lanes of traffic and off the ramp. Horns scream like dying animals.

      EXT. CITY STREET

      A decrepit neighborhood overwhelmed by the grind of truck traffic. In the distance, a wail of sirens. Joe stumbles off the other way. The Chechen follows, firing.

      At the next corner, a paranoid BAG LADY appears with a shopping cart full of cans. Joe runs her over and knocks the cart flying.

      JOE

      Sorry!

      BAG LADY

      Sonofabitch!

      Joe tugs off his stocking and dodges traffic across the street.

      The Bag Lady pulls out an Uzi and fires wildly after him. Behind her the Chechen fires.

      BAG LADY

      Goddamn atheists!

      The Bag Lady pivots and returns the Chechen's fire. The Chechen fires and knocks her down. Falling to the pavement, she gets off an astonishing mid-air burst that stitches across his chest.

      Joe stumbles off, horrified. Trucks screech and swerve to avoid him.

      EXT./INT. NEARBY STREET - THE PORSCHE

      Careens along. Inside a screaming Cindy.

      CINDY

      Stop the car! Stop the car!

      BOBBY

      All right! I can afford more than a hundred!

      CINDY

      Asshole!

      Cindy grabs the wheel, Bobby accidentally elbows her in the face. She touches her mouth and finds blood.

      CINDY

      ASSHOLE!

      Cindy jumps out of her seat, punching and clawing at Bobby’s face. She rips off his toupee and beats him over the head with it.

      The Porsche careens out of control.

      EXT. NEARBY CORNER

      Joe appears, out of breath. He runs a few steps and collapses

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1