I'll Watch You Die

I’LL WATCH YOU DIE

by: Ramsey Austin-Spencer

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 Ramsey Austin-Spencer

CHAPTER ONE

The headlights of the car coming at them filled the interior of the Buick Regal with radiant white light. It brightened everything, making the smallest scuff on the dark mauve vinyl seats and the lightest smudge on the windows shine with clarity. It made everyone in the car look like a ghost.

In that moment of odd lucidity Tara thought everything was clear because this was a moment meant to haunt you for all eternity. It was that moment where your fingers hit the edge of the glass and it begins to tip. You can’t stop the glass from spilling and there’s no taking it back - this was that moment. The moment where the world morphed into something cruel and unreal and you could never change it back.

Her father pulled the steering wheel with his whole body twisting in the effort making the car lurch to the right. The bulky vehicle bounced off the pavement, taking to the air as though it were weightless, even with the five people filling the inside.

Her life didn’t flash before her eyes. In fact, it was as though she’d lost every memory she ever had except the last twenty minutes, which now filled her mind to capacity. They replayed themselves over and over again like a looped tape that would never end.

Tara opened the door and climbed into the family sedan with Molly trying to beat her into the center seat, sitting on Tara’s dress in the process. Tara shoved the girl out of the car and pulled her long skirt up underneath her. Molly literally threw herself backward with a grunt and Tara roll her eyes in disgust at the over dramatics of her annoying little sister.

Mom, Molly whined, but Tara’s mother was still locking up the house with her back to the girl who was sprawled out in the driveway. Tara’s oldest sister, Stacy, glanced absently at the younger siblings before going back to the light blue screen of her cell phone.

Molly brushed off her dress like a character in a cartoon that was getting ready to go back into the fray. She stuck her head in the door opening and pulled on Tara’s arm, but Tara wasn’t about to give up her seat; especially to Molly. I called the middle, the freckle faced little urchin cried.

Tough.

Tara, her mother admonished as she opened the car door and settled into the passenger side seat. Be nice.

Molly waited as though Tara would respond and move out of the center, but instead Tara gave a pointed look to the frizzy-haired twelve-year-old and clicked the seat belt around her slight frame like an activist chaining herself to a tree, daring the young girl to do anything about it.

Mom, Molly whined again, pushing her thick glasses up on her face as Tara curled up her lip and made a face at the aggravated girl. It was childish, but Molly had a way of making her digress.

Molly stuck out her tongue making her look even more grotesque than Tara thought she normally did. She looked nothing like the other two girls and Tara often tried to punish her by telling her she was adopted and their parents didn’t want her to know, but the truth was Tara thought she was adopted. This family didn’t seem to fit her at all and she was waiting for the time when she could escape them. That day was still over a year away, but when she was finally free she would run as far and as fast as she could. She wouldn’t be like Stacy and do whatever her father wanted. He may be a genius, but Tara was sure he had no clue what was happening in the real word and that was where she wanted to be.

Are you excited? her mother asked the tall beauty sitting just to Tara’s right as Molly flopped into the only vacant seat and slammed the door.

Where Molly seemed awkward, Tara thought Stacy seemed completely put together. Her hair was always right where it should be and her skin, though not perfect, was easily made to look that way with make-up. She was tall and thin and she smiled often, which people claimed was her best feature. Whenever Tara heard people say that it made her lip curl up with disgust.

Tara didn’t care, she reminded herself. That aspect of life seemed pointless and she refused to pursue it. She preferred playing soccer to doing her hair and she would much rather argue with her father than do science projects with him like her sisters did. Tara did everything she could to be counter to everyone else in the family.

What’s there to be excited about? her dad asked as he pushed himself into the driver’s seat and shoved the key into the ignition without turning it on. He twisted in his seat and smiled into the back, but it was directed at her older sister, whose long brown hair curtained down, framing her long thin face. Stacy’s been to the campus a hundred times.

He shut the door, dropping them into darkness as the dome light went out, before he started the engine.

Yes, but this time she gets to go as a student, Mrs. Verny defended her question.

Well, it doesn’t hurt when your father’s an important professor there, Stacy said with the shy smile that Tara suspected had made her so popular with her classmates the year before as a senior at Easton County High School.

Tara focused her gaze out the front window. She didn’t want to sit and listen to Stacy give her valedictorian or Student Body Secretary speech again. From her vantage in the rear view mirror she could see her dad’s ‘proud father’ smile lit up by the instrument panels in the dash board. She’d seen it more times than she could count and it was always directed at Stacy. Her picture was the largest one on her dad’s desk in his office. Her awards were framed and posted prominently on the fireplace mantel.

You’d make a fine surgeon, her father offered as he pulled the car out of their driveway. It’s not too late to change your mind and go into medicine. That’s what I should have done. The money’s better.

My mind’s made up. I want to be a microbiologist. I want to do research.

I’m sure that’ll help you win the Miss Universe contest, Tara quipped. She put her hands up under her chin and batted her eyes and raised her voice into a mock beauty contestant. I’d like to be a microbiologist and I’d like to feed all the hungry children.

Tara. Her mother once again turned her disapproving eye on the middle child. What has gotten into you today?

I don’t want to go to this boring Meet the Faculty Dinner tonight.

Stacy is being honored for her scholastic achievements tonight, her mother said as though Tara hadn’t understood what was at stake. I would think you’d want to share in your sister’s joy.

Sure, Tara sighed, pushing Molly’s hand off of her without looking at the girl who was trying to start a fight. That’s something new for us. We’ve never had to go see Stacy get an award before.

Tara, grow up, Stacy said in a voice that Tara thought was the perfect mother voice.

The two had never been close and Tara blamed Stacy. She was always trying to control her and make her look foolish. Tara hated that.

You’d do well to follow your sister’s example, her father offered the front windshield. With the way your grades are looking, you’ll be lucky to get into the university even with my being a professor there.

Well maybe I don’t want to be a microbiologist, Tara mumbled. She didn’t want to go to the university where the renowned Dr. Verny taught. This was only her junior year, but one more year of high school and she knew she was going to move to a whole other country just to get her away from her family.

Molly crossed her arms once again poking Tara in the ribs with her elbow. With a growl Tara reached over and slugged her.

Tara, her mother barked out. I don’t want to see that again.

Tara was about to suggest that her mother not look, but the car coming at them made everything silent. That was the instant when everything got clear, but it didn’t last.

The previous clarity left her and everything went dark as the car left the road. Now everything seemed very unclear as she couldn’t tell where her body was in respect to the car or the earth. Upside down, right side up, upside down? The only thing which seemed to register was glass - it was everywhere. She didn’t really know the car had flipped three times. She didn’t understand right away they had hit a tree and come to rest on the driver’s side with the bottom of the car leaning up against the now-scarred bark, but she knew glass had sprinkled down on her, getting in her hair, in her clothes, into her skin. Like bugs biting at her, the little shards were terrifying.

She was alone in the dark hanging from a seatbelt she had put on in order to secure her position in the middle. The smell of gas made her stomach heave as she gagged on the stench. They were going to blow up her mind yelled at her. That’s what happened on all the television shows. Her hands tore at her clothes as she tried to find the thing that was keeping her trapped here and free herself, but her mind couldn’t even process the simple task of undoing a seatbelt.

Why wasn’t anyone trying to get her out? Were they just going to leave her here? Where was Molly – Stacy? It was dark, but she couldn’t hear them or feel them next to her. Her mother should be telling her it was going to be fine. Her father should be making logical sense out of the situation. Why wasn’t Stacy putting in her two cents worth or Molly whining about what had happened. The reason was whispering to her, but she shook her head and labored with the seatbelt again.

She started to cry now. Get me out of here, she sobbed to the shadows that were around her. Her fingers struggled again with the thick belt that kept her suspended in the unreal world of the car. When her fingers accidently managed to push the button, releasing her from the seat belt, her body sprawled onto more glass making her body shake with the desire to jump up and brush the evil entity off of her, but she was lost. There were no doors, no floor and no logical sense to get out of the compact maze.

There was a noise. She thought she heard someone outside the car walking around. Once again she tried to move so she could see something other than her tiny view of the universe.

Is someone there? Her voice was small and crying. Please help me. I can’t get out.

She wanted to listen because she thought she once again she heard footsteps, but she couldn’t stop her crying long enough to be sure. Hello?

You should be dead, a voice said and now her crying did stop.

No, she said after a moment waiting for the voice to tell her something else, but it was silent. Maybe she was dead, she thought in a moment of terror and then she started crying again, harder and with more pain. No!

She was alive, she told herself. She was alive and alone and she needed saving, but she feared the voice. Did it know something she didn’t?

She tried to climb toward a small opening she saw, but again the glass stopped her. She lay down on it, curling up and letting it prick into her skin while she cried. Off in the distance she heard the sirens. Closing her eyes she waited for them to come save her and find her family.

CHAPTER TWO

The clock made a slight ticking noise as the minute hand on the round, white, generic face crawled up to the twelve and the smaller hand hovered at the edge of the seven. Seven o’clock. That was when Tara’s shift at the university bookstore ended.

Six forty-four. Tick, tick, tick, tick. Six forty-five. Tara sighed as the long black arm of the minute hand moved almost imperceptibly up another notch.

Why don’t you just leave? Whitney offered as she removed a book from one section and placed it back on the proper shelf.

Tara sighed and pushed at the display of pens hanging next to her to make them rock back and forth. I’ve left early the last two nights, plus unfortunately, I need the money. I’m a starving college student, remember?

Whitney was now refilling the bags under the counter. The bags didn’t really need to be refilled, but Whitney had been fussing around the area for the last thirty minutes and that seemed to be the only thing left that she hadn’t tinkered with yet. It seemed ridiculous to sit here and do nothing, but Tara wasn’t inclined to do pointless things just to look busy. Leaning across the waist-high counter she positioned her hands underneath her head to use as a pillow. From here she could still see the clock.

With an easy stride, Alex entered the room with a notepad in one hand while tapping a pencil lightly against his front teeth with the other. He stared down at the paper as though giving it serious thought.

"Whitney, can you check the computer and see if we have anymore Biology and Life by Cornwell and Griffin on order?" he asked without looking up at her.

Sure, she offered with too much zeal as she turned to the computer and typed it in with her fingers slapping the keys a little too hard.

There was a moment of silence as Alex stood with his eyes fixed on the front desk. Tara felt her face warm up as she realized his eyes were focused on where her skin was exposed from where her shirt was pulled up slightly across her back. She couldn’t tell if he was disgusted or leering. Slowly she stood up and pulled her shirt and blue smock down as his bright blue eyes met hers. They were intense and there was a dark spot residing in the lower section of his left eye that seemed to hypnotize her. She should have stood up the moment he walked in, but now it was too late to pretend she’d been doing anything productive, so she stood there meeting his gaze. She was irritated that he was trying to intimidate her.

Alex tucked the clipboard under his arm and folded his hands in front of him. Are you feeling all right? he asked Tara, his voice telling her he already knew the answer. He was just toying with her and she hated that.

I was just a little tired, she told the tall slender senior who was tonight’s night manager.

They ordered ten more, Whitney informed Alex who was still staring at Tara. They’re due in next Thursday.

Good, he responded with an air of authority that held a reprimand in it, which Tara knew was for her since he had never turned away. Why don’t you go home? he offered. Having you lying about on the desk like someone who just collapsed from exhaustion doesn’t help us at all.

It didn’t hurt either, she wanted to tell him, but instead she turned away from the man who wore the gold vest of a manager. Tara saw the vests as socially moronic symbols and didn’t care what color of vest she wore. She didn’t care what color vest Alex wore except that he had the ability to fire her. He was a senior and everyone knew he was the brightest star the university had, but that didn’t make her like him anymore. In fact, it made her dislike him. She’d spent time around people like him; they were ambitious and driven and enthusiastic. They were everything she didn’t want to be, but was now trying to become. Even worse, she hated the fact he had a legitimate reason to chastise her. She wondered if he realized who her father had been.

She knew Alex was what she should aspire to be. He was exceptional like her father always wanted her to be. That’s why she was here. It was funny how life turned on you, she thought.

She’d had every intention of running away from her family, but instead it felt like they’d run away from her and now she was trying to please them as though it would bring them back.

Even though she was here and going through the motions to become a microbiologist, the desire was lacking. She would fulfill her father’s dream of having a child become a scientist, but it still wasn’t anything she wanted.

Glancing over at Whitney, she could see the girl fussing with the bags underneath the counter again in order to avoid having to look at Tara. Tara knew what she was doing. She didn’t want Alex to think she was anything like Tara. Puckering up her nose she turned away from the silly girl who seemed to think that sucking up would advance her. Advance her to what, Tara thought bitterly. Whitney was too eager to please. It was a weakness.

Tara refused to pretend around Alex. She didn’t like it when their shifts converged and she had to work with him. It wasn’t because he had an I.Q. in the genius range, Tara’s father had that; it was his arrogance. He believed he was always right. He was always right.

Alex had been recruited by her father the year he died. He would be in the same graduating class Stacy would have been in. Mr. Verny had been especially excited to see the young genius arrive and often challenged Stacy to beat him on the entrance exam, which she hadn’t, but she had only missed him by two points. Tara had missed him by eighteen. It was just something else that people like Alex and her father could be disappointed in her over.

I guess I should go do some studying. If I don’t get my grades up I’m going to have to re-take half my classes, she mumbled. It wasn’t true. She would pass every class with at least a C without giving any additional effort, but to her father that would have been failing. Pulling her purse out from underneath the counter she looked over at Alex.

Alex was a handsome man; five-foot ten, one hundred sixty pounds with shaggy light brown hair which he wore hanging down just below his ears. It was almost a shame he was such an ass, she thought absently before hitching her bag up over her shoulder.

Tara waved to Whitney, who offered her a quick nod. She turned to Alex, who was looking down at his clipboard. Once again he was ignoring her. It sent a shot of irritation through her. Sorry again, she told him, but she knew her voice lacked the sincerity it should have had. She didn’t really care if he liked or didn’t like her, only that she kept him from firing her until he was graduated and gone. Most of the other managers didn’t really care if you were busy all the time or laid your head on the desk if no one was in the store, but she knew Alex was a perfectionist that wouldn’t tolerate such things. She should have been more careful.

She received a curt nod before he went back to his clipboard. He was an ass. Tara went into the back room to clock out. Six forty-nine.

Tara only lived three blocks from the bookstore, but even so it was just starting to get dark as she unlocked the door of her apartment. She lived in the on-campus housing, but her roommate had dropped out right after the beginning of the year and no one had replaced her. She liked living alone, but sometimes it was less than exciting. In fact most times it was very lonely, but she wanted it that way; she wanted to feel miserable and forgotten and alone, she told herself.

Going to the refrigerator, she looked in and let out a sigh. She wondered if she would ever make it through college. She’d received enough credits in high school to have obtained her associates degree and she even had enough credits to have a bachelor’s degree with the classes she’d tested out of, but she knew in order to achieve her father’s dream she would have to start working seriously on her doctorate and she dreaded it. She had been admitted with her tuition fully paid because of her father, but she still had to pay for her housing and books. Her family’s death had garnered her lots of attention her first year here, but it didn’t help her want to do the chemistry or biology or even trigonometry. She closed the fridge and looked out across the quiet apartment.

Tara felt she had missed the train that both Molly and Stacy had caught. They were both brilliant students who excelled in all their classes. Tara had failed home economics and gotten C’s in just about everything else. She had skidded through school fairly easily and gotten the credits and passed tests, but she never wanted to be like Stacy. She wanted to be something completely different, but now here she was trying to fill her sister’s shoes. She knew it shouldn’t be her. She understood what she had to do, just as she had in high school when she’d gone after college credits, but she always did the minimum just to keep people off her case. Her father would expect her to get her degree and be the Microbiologist. Her father deserved to have a child get their master’s from this school and since she was the only one left she felt imprisoned by the task.

She’d made it through her freshman year and was a sophomore now, but she was still grappling with the things life had done to her. She had to keep telling herself she could do this because in the deepest recesses of her soul she knew she could, but that she didn’t want to.

The phone rang and Tara glanced at her watch before shuffling over to pick it up. No one ever really called her and she expected to hear someone trying to sell her magazine subscriptions when she answered.

Hello?

Tara, this is Alex.

Yeah?

There’s a problem at the store. It seems there’s some cash missing.

What? Her eyebrows creased in as she wondered why she should care.

I’d like to talk to you about it, but I don’t want to embarrass you by making this public. I don’t think anyone else needs to know.

Know what? she asked, knowing what he was trying to say, but refusing to acknowledge it. I didn’t take anything.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. All right, he said. Come back in and we’ll discuss this and find out what happened. I have to go pick up some supplies, so meet me at the Administration Building in five minutes and we’ll discuss this on our way back.

Tara hung up the phone, shaking her head in irritated wonder. How dare he accuse her? She was honest and she’d been working there for over a year. I can’t believe this, she told no one as stormed into the bedroom to change her shirt before she left.

She was planning on going over to a small club just off campus and listening to a quirky local band that played there some times, but she still had an hour before their set began and calculated she’d just head over after she was done telling off Alex. Grabbing her purse she left the apartment.

Her mind kept letting the information rotate and twist in her head as she walked over to the Administration Building. Why would they even think it was her? Whitney was there too. Alex thought himself so superior he probably thought he knew everything that had happened, but he was wrong. She would never take anything and if he tried to accuse her she’d let him know how wrong he was. Prove it, she thought with her rising anger.

The sun had disappeared completely by the time she reached the old brown brick building. It was starting to get chilly in the evenings and now as she stood outside with the light breeze causing goose bumps to rise up on her arms, she wished she’d grabbed a jacket. She didn’t normally come over to this side of the campus because all of her classes were over in the science loop, but as she approached the location where she agreed to meet Alex, she realized the building was under construction. There was plastic hanging from scaffolding and everything was dark.

Great, she mumbled. She remembered hearing they were remodeling the Administrative Building, but in her anxiety about being told she was accused of theft, she’d forgotten. She glanced around her looking for Alex. Maybe she’d misunderstood.

Just then Alex walked past her to the door of the once stately building. Without speaking to her he pushed the plastic aside, pulled out a key, opened the door, and went inside. Slowly Tara followed, her chest getting hot from the anger which thudded in her heartbeat. He didn’t even try to speak to her. Once again his arrogance was his worst trait. The very least he could do was get her side of the story before he became jury, judge and executioner.

Alex? she asked, stepping into the dark. She couldn’t see him or hear him as she slowly crept her way further into the empty building. Where’d you go? She took another step in. Look, I don’t know what happened, but I swear I didn’t take anything.

The light turned on in the hallway, making Tara’s breath puff out of her with some relief. Alex walked past her and shut the door she’d just come through. She turned and looked at the slender but firm man standing in the gutted room. He appeared so serious it was a little intimidating.

So…? She felt the familiar discomfort that being around Alex always seemed to invoke. It made her want to rebel against whatever he wanted just like it had her father.

Once again pushing past her, Alex walked around the paint cans and sheet rocking materials without saying a word. She wished he would just stand still for one second and tell her what had happened and how much money was missing.

What are we doing here, Alex? You said you needed to get something from here. What was it?

Alex stopped moving and turned to her with a shrug. Nothing. It was a good excuse to get you here.

What? Confusion made her feel even more irritated than she normally did around Alex. She didn’t understand what was happening because Alex didn’t seem like the practical joker type and if he were serious, she had no idea what he was after from her.