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    Gerald the Great of Garokoland
    Gerald the Great of Garokoland
    Gerald the Great of Garokoland
    Ebook73 pages1 hour

    Gerald the Great of Garokoland

    By Philip J Bradbury

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Gerald finds himself in love with the beautiful princess and the only way he can marry her is to tale over the shambolic, bankrupted and immoral kingdom of her stupid father, the king.
    Having got the king out of the way - in a way he could not have imagined - he now has to deal with the corruption, starvation and senseless slavery of spirit that has beset this insane place. He stumbles from accident to accident and, somehow, manages to find order, beauty and love, all at the same time ... with the help of some unlikely characters, including the aged Harry Hawk, a reluctant sun and a whole host of unlikely people.
    This is not a serious book but it has a serious message ... seriously!

    This book is best read sitting down as that was how it was written. It is also written slower for the slower readers and we would suggest that you keep your reading speed below 30,000 words per minute lest blurring, vertigo, lack of comprehension, measles and political correctness occur. You could also be booked (ha! ha!) by the reading police, for speeding, when they stop reading. Another suggestion is that you move your eyes and/or your head back and forwards rather than moving the book in front of your eyes. This is a new development in reading technique and, although cutting-edge technology, has now been tested successfully on 2,500 sheep, 30 goats, 400 emus and 3 humans and all experienced vast improvements in their romantic lives. Their reading suffered but who cares when you’re in love.
    This is an unfairy story – a fairy story without fairies. The Fairy Union complained about this to the Arbitration Council and I have now agreed to include them in the sequel. There are many other people not included (my mother, the Pope, St. Francis of Assisi, Mussolini to name a few) and if you feel a need to be included in the sequel to the sequel your claim will need to be into the Council within three days, after which they break for their 15-year-long Christmas holiday.
    This is a story for children and adults alike (though they’re not really alike are they?) but there are a few big words (like wheelbarrow and porcupine) that adults may find difficult. I suggest that you keep a child within yelling distance to help you with the difficult bits.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPhilip J Bradbury
    Release dateNov 14, 2011
    ISBN9781465703057
    Gerald the Great of Garokoland
    Author

    Philip J Bradbury

    I am a writer (20 books), publisher (25 books & a magazine) and teacher/trainer for 25 years – accounting, business, men’s groups, AIDS and personal and spiritual growth.I’ve also spent time with several indigenous elders and wisdom-sharers to receive information from as many perspectives as possible. The more people I’ve talked to, the more similarities there are in their stories. ... they all point to this moment of disruption to expose and expunge the untruths, in order to move to the next 2,400-year period of Caring, Connection and Communication.Therefore, I’m here to help you cope with the current changes so you can create your higher life in order to create the community we all long for ... and know is coming.Summary list of writing/publishing experiences:• Writer of 20 published books,• Publisher of books• Commissioning Editor for Business Books• Publisher of national magazine,• Website Editor/Writer• Columnist for magazines in four countries,• Editor for national magazine,• Reporter for weekly newspaper,• Professional freelance writer, proof-reader and editor for clients in Australia, Czech Republic, Norway, Slovenia, Germany, Romania, Arabia, Britain, Canada and America.I spent 20 years in a boring job to impress my father. I finally realised he wasn’t impressed with an accountant son so I slunk sideways into business coaching and teaching and wondered why I’d avoided what I loved for so long. 20 years later, I still love teaching/coaching and have done it ever since, in different countries and in different guises:* Business coaching in NZ, UK and Australia* University lecturing in NZ and UK* Personal development workshops in NZ and Sth Africa* Grief counselling in NZ* Men’s groups in NZ* AIDS workshops in Sth AfricaFrom time to time, I played in other occupations, just because I could:* Busking* Building houses* Truck driving, reporter/photographer for a newspaper* Magazine columnist then editor* Magazine publisher* Commissioning editor of books* Writer of 20 books (to date)I’ve become a Jack of all trades, master of some and a Master of Change, so can help you with your change.Along the way I picked up some qualifications:* BBS – Bachelor of Business [Economics & Accountancy majors] degree.* ACA – Qualified Accountant.* CAT – Certificate in Adult Teaching.* Diploma of Leadership & Management* Diploma of Business* Diploma in Transactional Analysis* Grief Counselling* Life CoachingI also had time with indigenous elders:* A Hopi Elder from Sedona* A Sangorna in South Africa* Several Kaumatua in New Zealand* An Aboriginal elder near Alice Springs

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      Book preview

      Gerald the Great of Garokoland - Philip J Bradbury

      Gerald the Great of Gorokoland

      A fairy story without fairies

      … and not much of a story either.

      By Philip Bradbury

      ########

      Other books by Philip Bradbury

      Non Fiction

      Conversations on Your Business

      Stepping Out Of Debt And Into Financial Freedom

      Whose Life Is It Anyway?

      The Lawless Way

      Change Your Mind, Change Your World (with Anna Bradbury)

      The Twelve Week Miracle (with Anna Bradbury)

      The Meaning of Larf

      Understanding Men

      Dactionary – the dictionary with attitude

      Fiction

      An Olympic Challenge

      The Royal Bank of Stories

      Circles of Gold

      ########

      Gerald the Great of Gorokoland

      A fairy story without fairies

      … and not much of a story either

      Copyright 2011 © Philip Bradbury

      Smashwords edition

      ISBN-13: 978-1-4657-0305-7

      Typed (with two fingers) by Philip Bradbury

      Typeset (with brilliance and majesty) by Philip Bradbury

      Front cover designed (with flair and imagination) by Philip Bradbury

      www.thewritesite.biz

      All rights reserved. Although this book is copyright and you’re not supposed to reproduce it in any form, I know that some of you will. As a sculptor of words, I’m well aware that it’s so easy for anyone to pretend these words are theirs and receive acclaim for that. If you can live with that then, please, go ahead.

      All I can do is ask that you treat the spirit of these words with respect, treat me with respect and enjoy the product thereof. I can live with that.

      Philip Bradbury

      ########

      Thanks

      I give grateful thanks to a wondrous God who gave me the ability to write stuff, thereby providing me with an outlet for my insanity without which I would probably be sitting in my tartan slippers and dressing gown, in a wheel-chair, being fed little blue and green pills by a man in a little white coat as I drool over yet another rerun of Big Brother or the news. This wordly outlet serves to save the health service thousands on my care and allows me to live a quasi-normal life with a very normal – and luscious – wife who I can drool over.

      And, to you, thank you for reading thus far. Please, however, do not read any further for you could easily be infected by the FUN (Fairly Useless Nonsense) bug I have released onto these pages. Or, alternatively, you could just have a damned good chuckle, thereby making the world a happier place.

      Your choice and bless you and all who sail in her.

      ########

      Introduction

      This book is best read sitting down as that was how it was written. It is also written slower for the slower readers and we would suggest that you keep your reading speed below 30,000 words per minute lest blurring, vertigo, lack of comprehension, measles and political correctness occur. You could also be booked (ha! ha!) by the reading police, for speeding, when they stop reading. Another suggestion is that you move your eyes and/or your head back and forwards rather than moving the book in front of your eyes. This is a new development in reading technique and, although cutting-edge technology, has now been tested successfully on 2,500 sheep, 30 goats, 400 emus and 3 humans and all experienced vast improvements in their romantic lives. Their reading suffered but who cares when you’re in love.

      This is an unfairy story – a fairy story without fairies. The Fairy Union complained about this to the Arbitration Council and I have now agreed to include them in the sequel. There are many other people not included (my mother, the Pope, St. Francis of Assisi, Mussolini to name a few) and if you feel a need to be included in the sequel to the sequel your claim will need to be into the Council within three days, after which they break for their 15-year-long Christmas holiday.

      This is a story for children and adults alike (though they’re not really alike are they?) but there are a few big words (like wheelbarrow and porcupine) that adults may find difficult. I suggest that you keep a child within yelling distance to help you with the difficult bits.

      ########

      Kings And Princesses

      Once upon a time (all good non-fairy stories begin with once upon a time, apparently*) there was a very beautiful princess. Although her red hair wasn’t considered beautiful, her eyes were. In fact one eye was so beautiful the other eye couldn’t stop looking at it. At 6 foot 3 inches, statuesque would have been a description of her, if it wasn’t for her humpback and clubfoot. It was also unfortunate that she was prone to rages when saliva and words were spat out – she gave both the news and the weather. She would also gestulate violently with her arms and the scene could have been comic had one not realised that she was very serious. But she was a princess and princesses are always very serious and beautiful and so it was with this Agatha.

      Agatha’s father, the king, was vertically and hemispherically challenged with a diameter nearly equal to his meagre height. In fact, it was His Royal Squatness who started the now-famous Height Watchers club. Being the only person in the kingdom needing steps up to and into his bath, he attempted to add to his vertical lowness by refusing to cut his frizzy mop of hair, wearing black clothes and cowboy boots and by surrounding himself with little people. He was under the Samsonian (or Delilahian) illusion that his strength was in his hair and so his mangy beard stopped near his navel and his previous three meals could be discerned by the remnants intertwined therein. How the queen found this hairy, rotund and florid little man attractive enough to allow conception is the first of

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