Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    The Forbidden Love of a Monkey and a Pornstar
    The Forbidden Love of a Monkey and a Pornstar
    The Forbidden Love of a Monkey and a Pornstar
    Ebook62 pages51 minutes

    The Forbidden Love of a Monkey and a Pornstar

    By Gregory Gregyon

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Fiddle, a monkey working on a NASA mission to Mars, is addicted to internet pornography. When he escapes and finds himself in Porn Valley, the last thing he expects is to find love there. But then he does. And then everything goes horribly, horribly wrong, for Fiddle, and, well, pretty much everyone.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGregory Gregyon
    Release dateJan 14, 2012
    ISBN9781466100145
    The Forbidden Love of a Monkey and a Pornstar
    Author

    Gregory Gregyon

    I want to write stories that are short enough and simple enough to appeal to people that don't normally read because their attention gets distracted by playstations and internet porn and fluffy bunnies and things, but that also appeal to people who do love to read as much as I love to read. I also want to write b-movies in book form. Monster movies rule. Anyway, hello. Gregory Gregyon is not my real name. It'd be awesome if it was, though.

    Related to The Forbidden Love of a Monkey and a Pornstar

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      ‘Death? I Can’t Wait For The Adventure!’ Most Haunted’s Yvette Fielding On Ghosts, Sceptics And The Afterlife

      Oct 4, 2022

      The First Lady of the Paranormal, also known as the Queen of the Night, is waiting for me at Crewe railway station in a bright red vintage Mini. I just about fold myself into the front seat. She cackles, performs a miraculous U-turn and puts her foot

      8 min read

    • Article

      Carol Morley

      Sep 14, 2023

      Carol Morley
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Orphan’s Dilemma

      Aug 10, 2021

      In a few minutes they’re going to say, “It’s your turn, Harold.” He will face Ms. Wickham with her thick black frames and smiling, slightly bugeyed look, the question more in her eyes than on her lips because he already knows what that question is. H

      11 min read

    • Article

      ‘They Put Me On A Ship And Took Me Into The Sun’: The Wild UFO Podcasts Taking Over Our Earphones

      Apr 7, 2023

      In the depths of winter last year, I was running through a cold and unlit field near my house when I saw a trail of lights moving through the sky. I stopped. The air caught in my throat. “Bloody hell,” I thought, “were the UFO people right all along?

      6 min read

    • Article

      Only Human

      Nov 10, 2021

      Only Human
      6 min read

    • Article

      Three Poems

      Jul 1, 2020

      She was a security guard and even though her uniform was black I could seeIt was covered in blood, the marble floor was covered in blood, it wasSlowly pooling out from the space where HER HAND used to beOh my god, I said, then I started to say, YOUR

      3 min read

    • Article

      Annabelle: A Ghost Story

      Sep 1, 2017

      Annabelle: A Ghost Story
      3 min read

    • Article

      These Bad Things

      Dec 23, 2019

      These Bad Things
      9 min read

    • Article

      Books

      May 29, 2023

      Books
      6 min read

    • Article

      My Mom, the Missile Computress

      Aug 30, 2018

      At first, it was hard to attract women to China Lake. Maybe it was the slot machines at the officers’ club; or the taxi to the brothels at the nearby mining town of Red Mountain; or the bikini-clad “pinup” girl in every issue of the Rocketeer, with c

      15 min read

    • Article

      What Just Happened?

      Apr 9, 2021

      What Just Happened?
      4 min read

    • Article

      Chairman Of The Hoard

      May 13, 2022

      Chairman Of The Hoard
      8 min read

    • Article

      Welcome to Reliance

      Dec 1, 2021

      Welcome to Reliance
      11 min read

    • Article

      Queen Koko

      Sep 7, 2022

      Queen Koko
      5 min read

    • Article

      Laugh!

      Sep 21, 2021

      Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk Did you hear about the new app that allows you to rent your attic space to mad women? It’s called Eyre BnB. Submitted via email Can’t believe somebody broke into my house and stole

      2 min read

    • Article

      John Jeremiah Sullivan

      Mar 9, 2021

      John Jeremiah Sullivan
      27 min read

    • Article

      Facing Your Fears

      Oct 1, 2022

      Fear can be a good thing. It tells you not to, say, run into the street without looking both ways, or reach into the campfire to grab a charred marshmallow, or try to feed an alligator a bite of your hot dog. Fear can get you to think twice and make

      3 min read

    • Article

      Famous People

      Mar 1, 2022

      Famous People
      15 min read

    • Article

      Performance

      Nov 10, 2022

      “Wait here,” the guard said as he shut the door behind him, leaving me by myself. The floor inside the lab was polished, and the air smelled of disinfectant, and yet the room felt unclean. Leaves shook on a tree outside the window, making shadows on

      18 min read

    • Article

      It Happened to Me…

      Nov 4, 2021

      When my son was around one, many items of his clothing began to inexplicably disappear. I can’t over-emphasise the inexplicable nature of what occurred – all the items unquestionably disappeared in my house. The house is always secure, and there is n

      8 min read

    • Article

      Salma Hayek

      Apr 3, 2020

      Salma Hayek
      14 min read

    • Article

      Whom He May Devour: Saving her planet would ban her from paradise.

      Jan 7, 2016

      Lydia watched Ahad play the guitar. He leaned against a boulder, eyes shut, his face positioned to catch the last warm rays of the setting sun. His long, slender fingers caressed the strings, producing a slow, haunting melody. The music almost made h

      17 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for The Forbidden Love of a Monkey and a Pornstar

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      The Forbidden Love of a Monkey and a Pornstar - Gregory Gregyon

      The Forbidden Love of a Monkey and a Pornstar

      Gregory Gregyon

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright 2012 Gregory Gregyon

      CHAPTER ONE

      It was inevitable that if man taught monkeys to master the use of computers, then some monkeys would one day find themselves addicted to pornography. Fiddle was one such monkey. Fiddle had been chosen from hundreds of other monkeys, the best and the brightest, and was undergoing vigorous training to prepare him for his trip to Mars. Fiddle was to accompany six men and women, and one other monkey, on the first ever manned mission to Mars, and, once there, he and the other monkey, a female named Chortle that had previously worked disarming landmines on the Korean peninsula, were to be sent down into a cave in search of evidence of life. Microbes, they informed him. It’s not like he was going to go down there and make smoke signals. He was going to go down into the narrowest crevices, where humans couldn’t reach, and collect soil samples and put them into test tubes. All of this was to happen less than a year from now. There was much to do before then.

      But Fiddle could not stop fapping.

      There was talk, amongst the bosses, of castration. If Fiddle could not stop playing with himself, then they would take his balls away. And so they castrated a control monkey, to see the effects. The control monkey went batshit crazy and ripped out somebody’s eyeball. The bosses were in agreement that this was not the best solution for their multimillion dollar monkey investment.

      They debated whether they should try to interest Fiddle in Chortle, thinking that consensual monkey sex would surely be better than endless monkey masturbation, but some of the more female members of the board complained that to do so would be tantamount to prostitution of Chortle, who was, was she not, a war hero, of sorts, and they wouldn’t stand for it. The point was moot, anyway. Fiddle saw Chortle frequently over the course of a week’s work, and never once had he viewed her as anything but an equal to be professionally respected. The more female members of the board commended Fiddle for this. What an enlightened species Fiddles belongs to, they said. As Fiddles sat at a computer and fap, fap, fapped.

      They limited his internet access, of course they did. That was the first thing they tried. But he stopped responding to life. He sat in the corner of his enclosure and rocked to and fro, and wouldn’t attend the workshops on spacesuit applications or space shuttle toilet etiquette, and the board voted in favour of letting him have his pornography back, if it meant getting him back to work. What’s the harm, they asked, rhetorically. It’s not harming anyone. Some of the more female members of the board said, on the contrary, pornography is staggeringly damaging, to the women who star in it, to the teenagers who consume it, to the values of the nation, and then they produced folders and pie charts displaying all this in great detail, as if they had been waiting for someone to say this exact phrase. The men, who outnumbered the women on the board, read through these materials with interest, and then voted in favour of letting Fiddle get his porn back anyway.

      And so.

      Fap, fap, fap.

      Their most recent move was to limit his access to the pornography to evenings only, so that he could concentrate during the day, only to have Fiddle show up to the early morning seminars having not slept at all. How can someone watch pornography all night long, someone on the board asked, and then someone else on the board started absentmindedly singing the Lionel Ritchie song ‘All night long’, and the first person said, no, seriously though, how? His penis must look like doner meat. They looked at the video footage of his enclosure, from the cameras that they’d put in there for just this reason, and sure enough, there he was, at three, at four, at five a.m., fapping, fapping, fapping.

      Dr Science, who had legally changed his name to Dr Science at the age of twenty-five, was the scientist in charge of

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1