Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Behind The Skirting Board
    Behind The Skirting Board
    Behind The Skirting Board
    Ebook40 pages39 minutes

    Behind The Skirting Board

    By John Porter

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    For a young couple moving ahead into an exciting new stage of life, everything is an exciting challenge... a journey together through the shared adventures of renovating an old house, starting a new business, and keeping a most extraordinary new pet. But life can be unpredictable, and insufficient attention to detail can sometimes be a very dangerous thing...
    This is one of a series of ten short stories in the black comedy genre by the same author.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJohn Porter
    Release dateJan 25, 2012
    ISBN9781465968760
    Behind The Skirting Board
    Author

    John Porter

    John Porter was born in Massachusetts and he started climbing at the age of twelve, serving his apprenticeship in the White Mountains, Rockies, Cascades and Yosemite. He moved to the UK in the early 1970s to do postgraduate work at Leeds University where he joined a team of climbers dedicated to clean ethics, alpine-style and the fostering of international partnerships. Ascents of the North Face of Koh-i-Bandaka (1977) and the south face of Changabang (1978) with Alex MacIntyre and Polish friends were achieved in the middle of the cold war. Other climbs include lightweight attempts of the west ridge of Everest in winter, the north-west ridge of K2, the east face of Sepu Kangri, first ascents of Chong Kundam I and V in the Eastern Karakoram, and many other notable climbs around the world over a period of fifty-five years. In 1980 he founded the Kendal Mountain Festival with Brian Hall and Jim Curran, and in 2011 he and Brian founded the online adventure film website SteepEdge. John lives in the Cumbrian Lake District working as a consultant in the energy sector. He is a vice president of the Alpine Club and has previously been a vice president of the British Mountaineering Council and secretary to the Mountain Heritage Trust.

    Read more from John Porter

    Related to Behind The Skirting Board

    Related ebooks

    Horror Fiction For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      ‘The End of the Day’: Featured Fiction from Bill Clegg

      Sep 30, 2020

      An excerpt from a novel Kirkus called "A moody, atmospheric domestic drama with a mystery novel somewhere in its family tree." The post ‘The End of the Day’: Featured Fiction from Bill Clegg appeared first on The Millions.

      12 min read

    • Article

      Intarsia

      Feb 6, 2020

      Intarsia
      6 min read

    • Article

      ‘A Children’s Bible’: Featured Fiction from Lydia Millet

      May 12, 2020

      "My phone had ceased to interest me since the news started repeating, bringing a wash of grimness whenever I looked. I solved the problem by ignoring it." The post ‘A Children’s Bible’: Featured Fiction from Lydia Millet appeared first on The Million

      4 min read

    • Article

      The Dullard

      Jun 5, 2019

      The villagers of Yockenthwaite knew him as ‘Jack Dull’, ‘Jack Dolt,’ or sometimes just ‘The Dullard’. His real name was John Dullard, last in a long, illustrious line of Dullards, and a man – so they said – of quite miraculous stupidity. The kind of

      7 min read

    • Article

      Marked with SILVER

      Jan 17, 2024

      Marked with SILVER
      12 min read

    • Article

      Call Of The Wild

      Feb 3, 2021

      Call Of The Wild
      7 min read

    • Article

      Practicing

      Mar 15, 2018

      This would have been her favorite season in the Allegheny woods. The shadows of the trees were rickety, and the wind had sap in its scent. But last week, Ty had left; now one day decayed into the next. Their house was abandoned. Only their father, si

      18 min read

    • Article

      A Victorian With Soul

      Apr 2, 2018

      THE WHITE VICTORIAN DOUBLE-STOREY WITH THE VERY GOOD BONES, WITH THE GREEN SHUTTERS AND SASH-WINDOW EYES SCREENED BY THE BALCONY WITH FOUR-LEAF-CLOVER TRIM, THIS HOUSE COULD STRETCH TIME. For more than a century its wide Oregon-pine stairway, wooden

      3 min read

    • Article

      A WINTER weekend

      Jan 2, 2020

      A WINTER weekend
      6 min read

    • Article

      A winter WEEKEND

      Dec 22, 2020

      A winter WEEKEND
      6 min read

    • Article

      The Lure of an Old House

      May 10, 2022

      The Lure of an Old House
      4 min read

    • Article

      ‘Cygnet’: Featured Fiction from Season Butler

      Jun 25, 2019

      A excerpt from Butler's debut coming-of-age novel, set in an appealingly rich world with quirky, flawed characters and a dramatic oceanfront landscape. The post ‘Cygnet’: Featured Fiction from Season Butler appeared first on The Millions.

      4 min read

    • Article

      A Home From Home

      Aug 13, 2021

      A Home From Home
      7 min read

    • Article

      ABATH For All SEASONS

      Jul 4, 2019

      ABATH For All SEASONS
      7 min read

    • Article

      Possessed By Possessions

      Dec 7, 2022

      YOU can’t judge a book by its title. I have no idea how Possessed by Bruce Hood made its way onto my bedside table, but there it has been lurking, unread, for the past couple of years. I assumed it was either a passionate romance (bleurgh) or about d

      2 min read

    • Article

      Lara Torr

      Dec 5, 2023

      Lara Torr
      4 min read

    • Article

      Beyond the Mangrove Trees

      Aug 6, 2020

      No one expects their house to float away. Ethel certainly hadn’t. Our story begins in the sleepy village of Greenwood, where Ethel had spent her entire life. It was an overcast Sunday afternoon and Ethel watched the rain lash against the window from

      7 min read

    • Article

      Yohanca Delgado

      Mar 9, 2021

      The widow arrived at LaGuardia on a Sunday, but the rumors about the woman who had rented a big apartment, sight unseen, had taken an earlier flight. We had already reviewed, on many occasions and in hushed tones, in the quiet that comes after long h

      15 min read

    • Article

      Middle Of Somewhere

      Dec 3, 2021

      When I decided to try to write books, I did what the cliché urges us not to do: I quit my day job. Leaving architecture was temporary, I told myself; I just needed a year to see. For money, I would hustle and freelance; for food and shelter, I would

      2 min read

    • Article

      Nothing to Declare

      Jun 15, 2019

      All the senior partners were having a laugh about a movie they’d seen. Forty-Five Years. Something, something about the movie taking forty-five years to sit through. The woman McGuinness thought he recognized was in it with them at the far end of the

      24 min read

    • Article

      Can’t Take It With You

      Apr 10, 2022

      Can’t Take It With You
      8 min read

    • Article

      Breaking The Colour Code

      Mar 3, 2019

      Breaking The Colour Code
      9 min read

    • Article

      My Dinner with Denis Johnson

      Jun 25, 2018

      My Dinner with Denis Johnson
      13 min read

    • Article

      Odd Jobs

      Jul 19, 2017

      Odd Jobs
      3 min read

    • Article

      All I Want For Christmas

      Dec 16, 2020

      IT was more than an icicle. More like an icy boulder, oversized and murkily white, faceted like a cartoon jewel and, shortly, dripping. It had lurked beneath a low stone bridge at the bottom of the wood, where sycamore thickets bald for winter gave w

      18 min read

    • Article

      Euthanasia

      Aug 10, 2023

      On a frigid December morning, Hank Sanders stomped the caked mud off his worn boots and entered Discount Hardware. He couldn’t shake his cousin’s remarks. Put her down, he’d said. The words had rolled so effortlessly off his lips, as if her life mean

      11 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Behind The Skirting Board

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Behind The Skirting Board - John Porter

      Behind The Skirting Board

      By

      John Porter

      * * * * *

      (One short story in a series of ten by the same author)

      * * * * *

      SMASHWORDS EDITION

      Published by

      John Porter at Smashwords

      Behind The Skirting Board

      Copyright © 2012 John Porter

      This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously.

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of the author.

      * * * * *

      Introduction

      For a young couple moving ahead into an exciting new stage of life, everything is an exciting challenge... a journey together through the shared adventures of renovating an old house, starting a new business, and keeping a most extraordinary pet.

      But life can be unpredictable, and insufficient attention to detail can sometimes be a very dangerous thing...

      * * * * *

      Behind The Skirting Board

      Latisha walked in the shade of the spreading trees that flanked the grey, gravel road and cast her mind back over the events of the past couple of years. Whoever said that little things don’t count was a fool, she thought. They mean the world to me – the little things in life are all that matter. The little things in life are life.

      She climbed into her blue saloon car and started the engine. Stretching for the pedals she decided to change the vehicle for a Mini when she had a chance – it really was too big for her now, and a Mini would be far easier to drive.

      She engaged the gears and the vehicle moved off. On the way home she passed a number of cafes with outside tables along the main street of the old market town, but food wasn’t on her agenda. She so rarely felt hungry these days, and although she had lost quite some weight it didn’t concern her. She knew the reasons for her new, more diminutive form, and she welcomed them. Buying less food would save her money anyway, she thought briefly, and turned onto the motorway that would take her home.

      Hey! Latisha! Check this lot out!

      Doug’s voice called up from the basement in excitement.

      This place is worth more money than we thought! This stuff must be worth thousands!

      She started towards the door that led down to the cellar, but Doug was already at the head of the stairs; several dusty, cobwebbed shapes in his arms.

      "The cellar’s packed with antiques! I bet the real estate people didn’t know they were there!" he exclaimed, dumping his armful down on the thick oak table.

      "Careful Doug – you’ll scratch the

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1