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    Outside Myself (The Rising Phoenix, #2)
    Outside Myself (The Rising Phoenix, #2)
    Outside Myself (The Rising Phoenix, #2)
    Ebook132 pages1 hour

    Outside Myself (The Rising Phoenix, #2)

    By Kim Dallmeier

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    About this ebook

    When the heart stops beating and life, as you know it, comes to an end; what if Death was only the beginning and offered no absolution.

    Follow Emmanuelle and her friends’ haunting journey in Outside Myself – The Rising Phoenix Volume 2.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherKim Dallmeier
    Release dateFeb 2, 2012
    ISBN9781466163942
    Outside Myself (The Rising Phoenix, #2)
    Author

    Kim Dallmeier

    Kim Dallmeier was born in Quebec, Canada, where she studied at Montreal University in Psychoeducation. She presently lives in Auckland, New Zealand, with her husband Matthias, and their two children, Anna and Samuel.

    Read more from Kim Dallmeier

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      Book preview

      Outside Myself (The Rising Phoenix, #2) - Kim Dallmeier

      Prologue

      Pills lay scattered across the sheets.

      Emmanuelle felt herself drifting into a sleepless dream. She was losing sensation of her body. Her hands grew cold, numb, while they clutched old photographs and letters. As her consciousness began to fade, a sudden rush of panic struck her. Had she made the right decision? She felt heavy, almost paralyzed by the pain rushing over her in endless waves. She fought to open her eyes; her lids would not lift. She screamed for help, but only a deafening silence resonated; no sound escaped her parted lips. Her body shook. Her stomach ached. Her eyes rolled. Anguish overwhelmed her. One last deep breath was inhaled, kept in, and finally released. She had crossed over, but this was not Heaven.

      Chapter 1

      Emmanuelle stood outside herself.

      She looked on as Jonathan and Viktoria, her childhood friends, discovered her remains. She watched with clarity as paramedics rushed in and out of her bedroom pronouncing her dead at the scene.

      She felt Viktoria’s agony, the excruciating pain which was now weighing her down, as her own. She could also hear her friend’s thoughts; she blamed herself for not having read the signs in time.

      Emmanuelle leaned over Viktoria, wishing she could comfort her, let her know that she was still there, next to her. She had not expected to bear witness to the sufferance she was causing those she loved the most. On the contrary, Emmanuelle had ended her life to alleviate everyone’s worries about her; she had wanted to do them all a favour. Now, as she watched Viktoria struggle with her grief, she realized that nothing was going according to plan. What had she done?

      She had read many books by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross about death and dying, but none of them had prepared her for this. Had she expected a tunnel leading to the pearly gates? No, of course not; she had never believed in the Catholic Church version of Heaven and Hell. Still, she imagined there might be a light within which those that she had loved and lost were waiting for her. Instead, here she stood bound to her decomposing corpse.

      Terror overcame her as she wondered if the chain between her Spirit and her decaying body would cease before cremation, or would she experience the pain incurred by the flames licking at her body? If she were to be buried, would her Spirit lay beneath the ground with her remains for eternity?

      In a flash, time had passed. Emmanuelle was in a church listening to testimonials from her loved ones about the short life she had led. How had she gotten from her room to here? Time had moved forward without her realizing it; in the blink of an eye she was now sitting next to her broken-spirited mother.

      She followed the procession to her gravesite; there, she read her engraved tombstone: One more Angel in Heaven. Her heart ached. Looking around at her family and friends, she wished with all her heart she could tell them that she was all right; she did not want them to cry for her anymore. She closed her eyes, imagining herself embracing each and everyone one of them. She felt her Spirit soar.

      A warm Autumnal breeze grew, bringing forth the smell of jasmine: Emmanuelle’s favorite flower. Her mother wiped a tear, and inhaled the rich perfume, looking up. Viktoria stared at Jonathan, wondering if he had also breathed in the scent. He smiled to her, nodding. For only a just a moment, those nearest to Emmanuelle’s heart had their pain alleviated; somehow, she was still among them.

      The Ceremony ended and everything, everyone, disappeared as though a dark veil had fallen over her eyes. Fear overwhelmed Emmanuelle as she wondered where she was, and how long this state of limbo would endure when a sudden pulling sensation occurred; the blindness was replaced by images that took her breath away.

      The awareness of her body disappeared; all that remained was her sight. A panoramic view of recorded images of the events of her life began to play all around her. She experienced, moment by moment, in a backward sequence her existence as Emmanuelle. She witnessed each consequence to every action and word she had spoken. She began to realize how much she had misinterpreted other people’s gestures, attributing negative intentions where there had been none.

      As she observed the last images of her childhood, birth, Emmanuelle knew with certainty that ending her life before its due time had been a mistake. She ached. Torment crept within her mind, when suddenly a powerful sensation of free-falling overcame her. Though she had no point of reference to see herself rapidly downward spiraling, she invariably knew that she was.

      The more she fell, the more Emmanuelle was reminded of the Tarot card; the Tower. She had become one of the lost Souls forever falling. She did the only thing she thought to do which was to pray. She envisioned herself embraced by the warmth of God, its Light. As she whispered within herself what she remembered of a Hail Mary, a quiet calm emanated from her. The falling sensation slowed down.

      Is there anyone out there? she asked.

      No one answered. She felt an unseen presence. Out of the dark that surrounded her, a form detached itself; it held no feature, no body. The shape appeared to be vibrating at an unimaginable speed. Emmanuelle felt uncontrollably attracted to it, her consciousness moved closer.

      Who are you? she asked the shape. Can you help me?

      Slowly, Emmanuelle felt her awareness narrow; she once more had a body. Something as solid as the ground materialized underneath her. She raised a hand, and moved her fingers. She touched her cheek. She felt real.

      The form in front of her grew clearer. The entity materialized into a man. She did not recognize his features, but felt as though she had known him her entire life.

      Who are you? she asked again.

      I am the Guardian of Resumption, he said.

      What does that mean? she asked.

      I am one who stands between the Realms of Rebirth.

      Emmanuelle blinked. I’m in-between lives? What happens to me now? she asked.

      What do you believe will happen next?

      She frowned, and stared. He looked at her un-phased. She could not discern what he was thinking. They stood in silence for what felt to Emmanuelle as a long time.

      Where is everyone? she asked.

      They are here, he responded.

      She looked around. I don’t see them, she said.

      No, you do not.

      Can they see me?

      Some do, yes.

      Emmanuelle played with a curl of her blond hair, as she had done countless times during her life.

      Where’s my cousin Jessika? She asked. She died a few years ago.

      I know, he said.

      Where is she?

      In The Tunnels, he said.

      Emmanuelle was struck by a sinking feeling. What are those?

      A form of Purgatory, he replied.

      Is that where I’m going?

      Is that where you want to go?

      Not particularly, she answered.

      You need to liquidate the rest of the years you were meant to live, he said.

      Emmanuelle thought to herself. How am I meant to do that?

      By going back, being born again.

      Do you mean to say that if I was going to live until the age of 70 years old as Emmanuelle, in my next life I won’t reach more than the age of 45 because I ended my days at 25? she asked.

      That is correct; your upcoming lifespan has been shortened.

      Why? That’s not fair, she said, isn’t God Merciful, all Forgiving?

      She walked closer to the entity.

      I don’t want to lose years of my life, because of a decision I made in my previous one, she said, There must be another way. Please.

      The entity nodded.

      You could live out the rest of your life in The Tunnels, he said. After which, you will have a clean slate to begin your next Incarnation over.

      I can live out a shortened life, which I’ll be ripped out off before my time, or go to Hell, she said in disbelief.

      The Tunnels are not what you call Hell, but what I believe you would refer to as: The Purgatory.

      Where are the other people I’ve known and have passed away? My grandparents? she asked.

      Many have moved on, some are watching now.

      She nodded. "Can I see them before

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