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    Making Friends with the "F" Word: 20 Practical Ways to Forgive
    Making Friends with the "F" Word: 20 Practical Ways to Forgive
    Making Friends with the "F" Word: 20 Practical Ways to Forgive
    Ebook51 pages24 minutes

    Making Friends with the "F" Word: 20 Practical Ways to Forgive

    By Anita Vestal and Diane Schuman

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    About this ebook

    This lighthearted look at simple, practical ways to start the process of forgiving someone is written for anyone and everyone. The delightful and whimsical illustrations add humor to a sometimes heavy subject.
    The book starts with a brief response to the question of 'Why Forgive?' addressing some of the many benefits. The idea of reconciliation is discussed where clarification is offered about the idea of 'forgive and forget.' We would not advocate that folks should excuse a wrong or reconcile differences with someone who has harmed them. Rather we suggest a mental type of forgiveness that does not involve facing or speaking with the offender.

    Deciding to forgive someone is as easy as making an intention to do just that. You don’t have to say a word to anyone. In fact, mentally forgiving gives you immediate relief without having to speak to that person. It is not necessary, and perhaps not advisable, to tell the person that you have decided to forgive him or her. Just do it in your mind and you start feeling better. Forgiveness is the antidote to hatred... it is the first step toward creating more love in your life. Which feels better inside: Love or Hatred?

    While setting an intention to forgive someone who has harmed you is the first step, it may not be an easy step. Perhaps you know in your mind you want relief from the mental torment over the situation, but in reality you just do not feel ready to set an intention to forgive him or her. Forgiveness is a process; it is not an action that is done once. More typically a person with full intention to give forgiveness finds that it is not easy. It takes time. Perhaps it takes seven times seventy attempts to give forgiveness before your mind and heart are one with the idea. Not to worry. It is not a race, it is a process. You have started the process by setting an intention. If you waiver once, or waiver a hundred times, you are still in process and you get credit for starting the process.

    There is a “readiness” factor. Like fruit, it is best when ripe. If you are not “ready” to give total forgiveness, think of the process as similar to ripening fruit. When the time is ripe, you will be able to complete the mental forgiveness. Any mental steps you begin to put into action now will not be wasted. No thought of forgiveness is ever wasted.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAnita Vestal and Diane Schuman
    Release dateApr 16, 2012
    ISBN9781476356273
    Making Friends with the "F" Word: 20 Practical Ways to Forgive
    Author

    Anita Vestal and Diane Schuman

    Author, Anita Vestal, and illustrator, Diane Schuman, are childhood friends from school days in Ridgewood NJ. Both live in central Florida now and team up for creative projects now and then. As a very young child, Diane learned to love the world of art by drawing and painting alongside her father, Joseph A. Bonafede, "The Painting Bartender". She also inherited talent from her grandfather, Ugo Catani, an accomplished artist and professor with studios in Italy, England and Australia. Diane studied art in Ridgewood NJ and briefly at Syracuse University. Art has always been a part of her life, personally and as a hobby. Diane is married to Albert Schuman and has three children, Matthew, Erica and Justin. She and husband Al live in Lithia, Florida. Anita has had many professional endeavors including authoring two books and many articles of a scholarly nature that address peacebuilding with young children. Anita started her career with Peace Corps service in Latin America and later dedicated many years to training and professional development in the federal Head Start program nationwide. Currently she is a certified mediator, an accredited teacher of T'ai Chi Chih and a college professor. Known to her students as Dr. V, Anita splits her time between Latin America and central Florida. She is one of seven Vestal sisters, with one son, Daven, and many nieces and nephews.

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      Book preview

      Making Friends with the "F" Word - Anita Vestal and Diane Schuman

      Making Friends with the F Word

      FORGIVENESS

      Written by Dr. Anita Vestal

      Illustrated by Diane Schuman

      Copyright ©2012 Anita Vestal

      Illustrations Copyright © 2012 Diane Schuman

      All rights reserved

      Smashwords Edition

      Books written by Anita Vestal can be obtained through the author’s website:

      www.mediation-meditation.com

      Our appreciation and thanks to many who contributed ideas and love to this project including Al Schuman, Matt Schuman, Susan Quinn, Sheri Cooke, Maureen Engle, Marjorie Vestal, and all who labored with us to birth this project.

      **********

      Making Friends with the F Word

      FORGIVENESS

      **********

      Why Give Forgiveness?

      Very simple… It’s good for you. Good for your physical health, mental health and emotional/spiritual health. If you give forgiveness, even if the other person never knows what you are doing, you feel more relieved. The Dalai Lama says that if you keep a grudge you are bound to bring more suffering to yourself. Hatred is like a poison; it disturbs your mental peace and causes suffering. Forgiving another is letting go of your hatred and bitterness, which simultaneously releases the poisons you are holding within your body and mind.

      A study at Harvard School of Public Health found that men who scored highest on an anger scale were three times more likely to develop heart disease over a seven year period than low scorers. These negative outcomes from held-anger show up in many studies. Forgiveness helps your mental life as well by reducing burdens that you were holding inside. Less hatred, less bitterness, more happiness and joy for you.

      Does Forgiving Someone Mean We Reconcile Our Differences?

      No, forgiveness is different from reconciling. Reconciliation involves two people coming together again in mutual trust, while forgiveness is one person's choice to let go of resentment and think positively about the other person in spite of being harmed by that person. You can forgive without reconciling. You can forgive without the other person knowing anything about it.

      Should I Forgive and Forget?

      Giving forgiveness mentally does not mean that you accept what the other person has done. Forgiving that person does not mean you forget what happened. Forgiveness is simply a choice

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