Abyss

PROLOGUE

Sunlight filtered through the trees in jagged lines of golden flares and streaks. The direction of the light either meant it was early morning or late afternoon. She lay flat on her back as her heart pounded erratically. She tried to fight the dizziness; her vision blurred and focused in such irregular patterns that it made her sick. Something warm and wet covered her chest where the aching throb was the worst.

Darkness carved out the light as a shadow fell over her limp body. She blinked, unsure where she was or how she got there. Or, most importantly, what her name was. She was an it. A nobody. Someone without a name. She wasn’t sure if this scared her more than the figure that now hovered over her sore and broken body.

She’s alive, said a deep voice. The profound and complex tone surprised her. It was familiar.

She took a ragged breath, and the movement made her chest painfully constrict.

Are you sure? another asked in a similar voice. Fathomless. Abysmal. Like it held the secrets of several lifetimes.

Her chest’s moving, and her eyes are open and blinking, said the first.

The shadow disappeared as he lowered himself next to her but was back in an instant as his face came into focus. A scream lodged in her throat when she saw him. His eyes. They were on fire—a violent, sizzling flame devouring as his gaze penetrated her. There were furious cracks in his blackened skin full of liquid fire. An inferno.

Eva? whispered the man—creature?—while gently brushing her hair from her face.

Her mind grasped the name and tried to place it. Why did it sound so familiar? Eva. Eva . . . Eva? Wait. That was her name. She was Eva.

It’s me, Vasco. Your brother, the thing said when he saw her confused expression.

My brother? she croaked, her voice raspy and broken. With a Herculean effort, her fingertips brushed her face for the cracks she saw in the creepy thing above her.

Yes, he said softly. Do you remember what happened?

Her forehead scrunched in thought as she tried her best to think of the events that led to her lying in the middle of a forest. No.

The Illuminator stabbed you. We all thought you were dead, but then we saw you moving. The creature looked away from her toward whoever else stood close by. Vito thought it was your nerves after death.

It very well could’ve been, the man barked crossly.

Eva let the words absorb into her as she tried to place the names with faces and memories. She attempted to sit up but was too weak. Vasco placed his arm behind her shoulders and lifted. Everything came into startling focus. The other creature—man—thing—whatever it was, looked just like Vasco, and she once again wondered if she looked the same.

The Empyrean Guard came, and we fled, Vasco continued. When we came back, this was what we came across. He waved his hand around the dense forest.

There were two bodies lying in the distance, a smattering of gold and red littered the trees and ground, and around her, there was a black tar-like substance pooled where she sat. Part of a tree looked like it had been chewed to pieces by a beaver—wood shavings covered the forest floor. Eva inventoried her arms and noticed her skin was not the charcoal color of her brothers, though she was drenched in the tar-like substance. There was a gaping hole in her shirt where the black stuff had apparently come from, and in the center of it all was a trickling of gold. She dipped her fingers into the substance and glanced at Vasco, her eyes questioning.

How’d I get here? It was all too much to take in.

You infiltrated the Ladies of Light, Vasco explained. They gave you the name Karen so you could take the soul of the Illuminator: Gabriella.

At the word soul, Eva’s memories exploded like a nuclear bomb. She gripped Vasco as everything that had happened over the past 3500 years rammed into her, the memories sending her flying backward and arching off the ground. Vasco caught her before her head slammed into a rock and started to yell at Vito, their words indiscernible. The memories flooded her like poison, burning her veins like a ravenous fire. She didn’t want to remember anymore.

It was a cold winter’s day 3500 years ago when she met the most beautiful man she’d ever seen—Kael. It was so unlike her to pursue a man she was interested in, but she couldn’t help it. There was something alluring about him; she had to have him, and he was more than willing. He was mortal and could tell how different Eva was—she was an immortal, an angel. They made sweet love one night, and that was when everything changed.

Kael tricked her—he was possessed with a Phantom from the Abyss. The Phantom had jumped from human to human for centuries and knew it had limited time in such a weak, mortal body. It sensed Eva’s immortality and entered her, took hold of her very being, and possessed her. Kael left confused and mumbling while Eva was left screaming on the bed, fighting against the Phantom inside her. She struggled for a year before it had taken root and pushed everything that was Eva aside. She hadn’t been in control of her body or mind since.

The things her body did when she was hidden deep inside herself saturated into her mind, and she recoiled in horror and shame. She had been a monster. Completely and utterly the worst kind of monster. The Phantom had a fetish of devouring souls, and Eva tried to shake the memories from her head. But then the most important memory of them all hit her, the one she felt the most pain over.

Gabriella.

The Illuminator—the one who was supposed to save the angels from the Ladies of Light. Eva almost killed her, but worst of all, she realized why the Phantom no longer possessed her: it had found someone stronger.

With more strength than Eva thought she had, she rose to her feet and approached the lumps on the ground. They were no one she knew, though she recognized their size, clothing, and an upside-down Fleur-de-Lis symbol as one of the Empyrean Guards’. Why’d they come back after all these years?

Determination gripped her, and she knew what she had to do. She remembered all the Phantom’s thoughts and memories, even the many millennia before it ever possessed her. And she knew how to get rid of it once and for all. All she had to do was find the Illuminator before it was too late.

CHAPTER 1: MURDEROUS DESIRE

Seriously? This is where we’re staying? I asked excitedly. I threw my shoes off and ran across the warm sand as the sun blazed down on us.

Andrew laughed and shook his head at me when I turned and kicked sand his direction. Yes. His smile grew. I’m pleased you like it.

Like it? I gave him a look of mock-shock. I love it!

He followed me as I backed toward the ocean crashing against the beach, my skirt whipping around in the wind. My toes met the warm water. I thought for a moment the pearly gates just opened, and I was in heaven. But then Andrew joined me, and we collided into the water with a huge splash. Now I was in heaven. The air filled with our laughter as we dunked each other and acted like teenagers. That day was the first in what seemed like forever that I actually had a bit of fun.

After everything that happened in Italy, I decided I didn’t want to see that country for a long, long, long, long time. Aiden—a very angelic Aiden—came up with the idea of a vacation, and I couldn’t believe he actually thought it was a wise idea. The Empyrean Guard was on a rampage, the Ladies of Light were nowhere to be found, and Aiden was susceptible to death now that he was no longer a Shadow. If anything, I needed to work harder, not take a vacation. But now that I was here, on a beach in Hawaii, I couldn’t think of a better idea. Maybe it was selfish of me to be happy that I wasn’t dealing with all the war I’d left behind, but it was hard to feel guilty when Andrew was enticing me with words like beach and relaxation. And especially now when he was tempting me with more than words—like with his body.

The water lapped at us as he held me close, his white shirt clinging deliciously to his skin. Every ripple in his abs clearly showed through the thin fabric of his soaked T-shirt. Our laughter quieted, and the moment veered directly to Seriousville. It was surreal, and I knew the fun and games wouldn’t last. There were important things we needed to discuss—things that had more to do with us than the angelic war nipping at our heels.

Now that we’re alone, will you tell me what’s going on? Andrew asked, pushing my soaked hair back from my face.

We were in waist-high water, and I wanted to laugh that he chose this moment to ask. But the answer to the question made me push the laughter away. My moods had been all over the place, like a teenager with raging hormones and not a twenty-four year old adult.

You know what’s been going on, I said feebly. You can read my thoughts every time we touch. I looked away, ashamed. Wickedness sometimes seeped into my veins and turned me into someone I didn’t recognize. I didn’t deserve Andrew or his gentleness over this subject.

He placed a tentative finger on my chin and turned my face so I was eye-to-eye with him. I’d rather hear the words from you, not from your thoughts. When I stayed silent, he sighed dejectedly. Please don’t be ashamed. You can tell me anything, and we can work through these problems together. I know you’d do the same for me. You helped me when I first came into this new and strange world. Still are.

Okay, I relented and let out a long breath. Can we at least change out of our soaked clothes and grab something to eat first? I’m starving.

Honestly, I just wanted to take his shirt off. Andrew chuckled and planted a soft kiss on my lips, and I knew I’d been busted for lusting over his abs and pecs.

That sounds like a fantastic idea, he said. A smile grew across his face with a hint of dimples. I wasn’t sure if it was him shirtless or the food he thought was a fantastic idea. Maybe both . . . maybe at the same time. It had possibilities.

We waded out of the ocean hand-in-hand and made our way up to the isolated beach house. The sand went all the way up to the deck, and vines with orange and yellow flowers decorated the wood. The house was large with massive windows facing the beach. I’d wager we could easily see the beach from almost every room. The sand-colored stone of the house blended well with the luscious green of the tropical forest surrounding it. It was paradise.

So, how long do we have this house for?

Andrew squeezed my hand. For as long as you want.

Really?

Definitely. I know you’ll want to go back soon, but I was hoping you’d let me spoil you a bit before we have to face the real world.

Inside was just as beautiful as I pictured it to be: large, open rooms, light-colored walls with beach-type decorations, and a kitchen big enough to cook for a hundred people.

Will you help me with my powers? I asked as I leaned against one of the many kitchen counters.

He smirked, and I realized how those words could be construed.

I mean— My cheeks flamed. You know, teach me?

His smile grew wider. How about you show me how to cook using one of these contraptions, and then we can discuss this— he pointed between us —with more detail. His eyebrows rose suggestively.

My face heated even more. There was a gleam to his eyes, one that promised things that made my stomach flutter in delight and terror. It might have been because the idea of what the conversation would entail, or the fact his eyes had turned a dark maroon the second we stepped off the plane. I could only imagine what that color meant.

I can handle that, I conceded. Shall we change first?

His eyes roamed over my soaked appearance appreciatively. If you insist.

This playful side I could definitely get used to. There was still a heavy weight on my shoulders, but being here with Andrew made me stronger somehow. Come here, I said with a small smile.

He closed the distance between us, his eyes burning with intensity I’d never seen before. I liked the way he looked at me. I stood on tiptoe, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him softly. A chaste kiss, really.

What was that for? he breathed, his chest heaving even though it was such a subtle touch of skin.

Does there need to be a reason? I asked, faux offended. Or is it okay that I just want to show you some affection?

He placed two hands on either side of me and pinned me against the counter. There was hunger in his eyes as they consumed me with a darkening red I could only assume was lust, or love, or both. He leaned in and put his lips against my soaked hair, his hot breath in my ear, sending chills down my spine, and said, I want more than affection.

Oh, Gods. And that was all it took before I jerked back, grabbed his hair, and yanked him down on my lips. The kiss was rough and passionate at first, but then turned gentle and sweet. He pushed his body against mine as his mouth begged for entrance. I willingly obliged, and our tongues touched for a brief moment as I melted into his every curve. His hands were everywhere: stroking my hair, caressing my cheek, gliding up and down my back, pulling me closer, and finally, grabbing my hips. With little effort, he hoisted me onto the counter to gain easier access to my mouth.

My hands were lost in his wet hair, raking my fingernails smoothly against his scalp. A moan escaped his throat, and that only fueled my fire as I pulled him in closer by wrapping my legs around his waist. One of his hands came around my lower back to hold me closer, and the other clutched my neck while massaging tenderly. My heart fluttered violently, and knots formed in my stomach. There was a rush of pure, raw emotion as I clung to him, our tongues darting in and out each other’s mouths.

Our kisses grew deeper along with my desperation to find some way to be closer to him still. We were literally wrapped around each other, and it wasn’t enough. It’d never be enough; I had to have more. My hands roamed down his chest on their own accord, feeling where his wet T-shirt clung to his muscled chest and stomach. I hooked a finger under the hem and peeled the fabric away. We broke from our kiss to yank his shirt free. It landed with a splattering noise.

My gaze wandered over his defined physique with appreciation. I pulled him back to me with my legs, and he obeyed. We were breathing heavily, unsure where to go from here. This was as far as we’d gotten in the past few weeks. Andrew put his forehead against mine, and his eyes consumed me. My fingers roamed over his naked chest, and electricity crackled with the light touch. His muscles jerked under my palms as I rubbed around his shoulders, wanting to learn and know every part of his body.

Andrew’s eyes closed as his breath caught in his throat. That feels unbelievably good. His voice was ragged with emotion and need.

I closed my eyes too and let the salty water on our skin intensify the electrical current as it surged through him and back through me, over and over. It was nothing like being shocked; it was like every cell in my body had come alive with some wild craving. A craving to have the man in my arms.

We need to stop, I choked out, warring with myself.

He was silent as we continued to let our hands wander on each other’s bodies. His eyes opened slowly, wistfully.

I’m . . . not ready, I admitted. And that was true on so many levels. I wasn’t ready to put him in danger for a night of lovemaking, and I was still innocent in that aspect. Though I’d never said the word virgin before, he knew. I’m . . . I trailed off, blushing. This was a replay of how it always ended between us. Always I’m not ready or I’m . . . a virgin. I never let the last words escape, but he knew.

Andrew straightened and tucked my tangled, wet hair behind my ears. I know, he whispered, always so incredibly patient.

He could hear all of my thoughts. All the warring I constantly did with myself. And, just like every other time, I was incredibly embarrassed.

His lips twitched a little as he gazed down at me. Don’t be embarrassed. Right on cue. It’s one of my favorite things about you.

Which? I asked with a raised eyebrow. The fact that I’m untouched or that I don’t want to put you in danger? Now we were in new territory.

He laughed, and the sound was like melting honey. I love that you saved yourself and that you’ve chosen me to explore this new path. I’m flattered, really. And how selfless you’ve been through all of this. He paused, his eyes considering me. This trip is all about you and me. That includes all the subjects in between. We have time to talk and explore each other without going beyond whatever boundaries you feel necessary. He came forward and placed the softest, sweetest kiss on my lips. It lasted for several seconds, and he’d have to peel me off the counter if he let go.

Whoa, I sighed stupidly when he backed away.

He smirked knowingly as I dropped my legs from around his waist, still melting. I put our things in the hallway. You can change in the bathroom and I’ll take the office, he said.

Uh-huh, was my floundering response.

He laughed again and helped me off the counter. When he turned his back to me I saw the new, intricate tattoo of wings that covered his whole back. The markings were a heavenly white. Ever since Andrew and I flew away from the Empyrean Guard, our skin had been marked with pure white tattoos in the shape of folded wings at our back. I’d never been one for tattoos, but this was different and I loved it—like it was a part of me.

<>

Andrew followed me around the kitchen as I inventoried food for dinner. I piled ingredients together to make a simple meal of pasta and garlic bread. It reminded me of Zola after I rescued her—how she engulfed more food than I’d thought possible. We weren’t close, but my heart hurt when I thought about her sacrifice to save me.

Something fractured inside, and a trickle of unnatural, wrong, joy slithered through me. A small smile spread across my face at the thought of the stupid prophetess being dead. My knuckles whitened as I gripped the knife I was using to cut fresh mushrooms. The evil thoughts coated my mind like syrup, and I fought to keep them at bay. With my left hand, I seized my right wrist to stop any movement with the sharp knife.

Andrew was at my back as I struggled with whatever it was inside me. Gabriella? he whispered. What’s—

I shot around and put the knife to his throat. His eyes grew wide as the blade bit into his skin. He didn’t move or fight back, and the evil thing inside of me was disappointed. Murderous desire ripped through me, and all I wanted to do was kill and devour.

Andrew, I cried out, barely keeping it together. Barely keeping the knife from slicing him open. The knife dug in deeper as silver blood ran down the blade. I wasn’t in control of my hand.

So slowly, as if not to startle me, he placed his palms on my cheeks and the fracture inside me mended. I dropped the knife in horror and tried to run away, but Andrew seized my arm and cornered me between his arms as he placed them on either side of my waist.

Don’t run. Please. His voice was pleading.

I wanted to cry but held back the tears. I just held a knife to your throat, Andrew! Hysteria was about to bubble over.

I didn’t miss that, he said dryly with a small twitch of his lips.

This isn’t a joke; this is my life! And your life! I protested. "Our life."

I know, and that’s one of the reasons we’re here. What just happened? He didn’t seem angry or pissed off, which blew my mind. Understanding and determination filled his mind as our connection grew stronger. He could read my thoughts clearly, but I still had trouble focusing on his. If we can pin-point the trigger to these reactions then we might be able to find out what’s making you want to slice my throat open . . . and choke Ehno.

You’re right. And I hated that fact. He was willing to be my guinea pig to my randomly murderous ways. Honestly, when Aiden suggested a vacation, I’m sure he meant rehabilitation. Especially after I tried to choke Ehno with my mother’s scarf. I still had no idea what had come over me.

Andrew’s fingers traced down my chin, and his breath filled the air between us. Now tell me—what happened? His voice was as soft as flower petals caressing my skin.

I’m not sure. I was making the pasta, thinking about Zola eating the food I made for her in Italy, and about her sacrifice to save me. But then the thought of her death pleased me. I paused and glanced at his deeply hypnotic maroon eyes. It disappeared when you touched me, but before then all I could think about was the metaphorical taste of blood. I hesitated. I . . . wanted to kill.

Who? he asked in the most reasonable tone. I guessed being thousands of years old gained one patience. I had a ways to go.

Anyone. Everyone. The thought scared me.

I have an idea, he whispered and moved closer until most of his body touched mine. How about I don’t stop touching you tonight, and we worry about everything tomorrow? I know you’re exhausted, and I am too. Plus, he added as an afterthought, Aiden, Ehno, and I have noticed that your hunger for evil-doing disappears when we make contact. That’s why I touched your face.

I had to admit it would be nice to get some rest after the long flight there—no, we didn’t use our wings or magic. I was still working on my talents, or lack thereof, and didn’t want to end up in Antarctica. Though I was curious to see if there were dancing penguins living there.

Okay, I whispered. Andrew was so close to me now I didn’t need to speak above a murmur for him to hear me. Dinner now or later?

You decide.

He’d taken the fight out of me as soon as he pushed himself against me, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles up my ribs. "I’m awfully tired. I need to put everything away first."

You let me take care of that. With a gentle wave of his hand, the food on the counter disappeared. Andrew grabbed a towel to wipe the bloody evidence from his neck. Guilt surged through me. He dropped the towel and cradled my face with his large palms. He was so close there was nothing else I could look at unless I closed my eyes. I’m only going to say this once, so listen.

I bobbed my head between his hands. I’m listening.

You won’t hurt me. A little slice to my neck, barely breaking the skin, is nothing. And look—he lifted his chin so I could see—it’s already healed. I fear there’s something making you lust for the kill. Feel no guilt over something that’s clearly not your fault. If there’s another incident, I want you to remember I hold nothing against you. Understand? His voice was firm and commanding.

Perfectly.

I’m here for you—to help you heal and move on from whatever demon has taken root in your soul. His words softened to a mere whisper. I’m afraid something happened when you killed the Soul Stalker. But that’s why we’re here: to find out what’s causing these intense personality changes. Andrew’s thumbs traced over my cheekbones before he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. He let go to only grab one of my hands with his.

I wish things weren’t this way, and I’m thankful you’re willing to help me, I stated with sincerity.

I’m not just willing—I want to. He gently smiled down at me from his incredibly tall frame. He pulled me toward the open staircase accented with glass sides. He paused at the top. You have two options for sleeping arrangements. Option one: you sleep in the bedroom with the recliner so I can be close enough to touch you. Option two: we go to the master bedroom and share a bed.

Like there was even a question.

CHAPTER 2: INNOCENT

Now how am I supposed to do this— I pulled him down for a passionate kiss "—if you’re in a recliner?"

Good point, he conceded with a wicked grin.

For some reason I was in a bold mood. Electricity exploded from me and into Andrew, our bodies bowing into each other over the sensation. His thoughts came in loud and clear, and I couldn’t help but blush.

How did I get so lucky? It’s a blessing I don’t deserve—to have this woman alive and here with me.

I raised my eyebrows at his sincere thoughts, wondering where all the male macho crap was. I mean, come on, didn’t he think I had nice boobs? Or that my ass was super bubbly?

A memory flashed in his mind of me drenched from the ocean, my clothes sticking to my skin. I tried not to laugh at the irony. As soon as his thoughts accompanied that image, I had to push him out; I felt like I was invading his privacy. For some reason the