How To Change Teenager's Behavior
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About this ebook
First, there is a description of the terms I use throughout the manuscript. Some are unique to me. There's eight or nine you need to know.
I start by guiding you through behavior selection; that is, what is it you want to change about your teen? This is straightforward, but the twist is that I don't work primarily with negative behaviors; rather, I focus on the opposite of them--the ones that are positive and cancel out the negative ones. This is unique. In the literature, there are three ways to reinforce behaviors, but my way is the fourth.
Ever heard of the Four-To-One-Rule? Not likely, because its something I discovered over years of practice. I use it specifically with the technique just described. This is what I use instead of punishment, whenever possible. Just in case you think punishment is not discussed, there are several pages devoted to just this concept--where and when to use it, but most importantly, when and why not to use it.
Next comes a section on Strategies and Examples. There are lots...
I have another unique concept--The Dance. This is the intricate interaction parents and children experience from day one to maturity. I describe it in detail, and how to conceptualize it to manage errant teen behaviors.
Because teenagers are beset (not to mention hugely burdened) by hormones, they react to situations in an exaggerated way. I describe how to assess this and when to call in a specialist. In other words, what is normal and what is not normal behavior at this age?
This brings into discussion teenager's needs, followed by a discussion of teen's moods--both amplified by developmental stage, and again, by hormones.
Needs and moods are discussed in the context of the twelve most common areas of conflict between parents and teenagers (Out of home activities, curfews, privacy, safety, electronics, comparative age, makeup, dating and sex, driving, grades, criminal behaviors, drugs and alcohol and visitation). Specific examples of each are provided and how to handle them.
The next section is called, "Putting It All Together." In detail, I describe exactly what to do with your teenager, given any particular problem area.
The last section deals with kids who are outside the scope of my ebook, or any self-help manuscript. These are the kids who have significant compromises, sometimes through no fault of their own. Medical conditions, personality disorders, deliberate maliciousness, medication, RTC's, and lastly, being the victims of nasty parental divorces are covered. How to deal with the deeper stuff is what I cover here, and why these have to be addressed before anything else will work, including what I have to offer.
Ebooks are evolving and now have considerable depth. Usually they, and mine specifically, are single subject treatises. They deal with just one topic--"how to's" about any given problem. This one is is aimed specifically at teen behaviors and what to do about them. It's concise, loaded with relevant information and has no fat.
Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D.
I'm a psychologist. I write no-fat, how-to ebooks on subjects and conditions I fix everyday in the office. These include relationships, being assertive, struggling with guilt and/or procrastination, children and teenager's behavior, anxiety disorders, anger management, kids and divorce, self-esteem, child visitation, weight control, forgiveness, ADHD, addictions, and my latest, mood disorders. I've written 15 ebooks, and most of them are translated into Spanish. Now, I'm starting to write a book, "The Other Side of the Couch." It's about my daily experiences as an outpatient psychologist and how I see the world through the lense of a shrink...
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How To Change Teenager's Behavior - Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D.
How To Change Teenager's Behavior
(Ages 13 to 19)
by
Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D.
A PSYCHOLOGICAL CORPORATION
http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com/page18.html
Copyright September 2010
Published by Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D. at Smashwords
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents
Disclaimer
Introduction
Terms
--Reinforcer
--Contingency
--Shaping
--Extinction
--Modeling
--Cueing
--Classical Conditioning
--Operant Conditioning
What To Do First
--Positive/Negative Behavior List
The Four-To-One-Rule
Punishments
Principles, Strategies, Examples
The Dance
Needs
Emotions and Moods
Putting It All Together
Other Challenges
References
About The Author
DISCLAIMER
This ebook is written to assist those who wish to learn about changing teenager’s behavior. The information given is straightforward and written in ordinary English. The information is presented in a manner that is not too technical (clinical) or overwhelming in detail, even though some terms and concepts are necessary. It is intended to be used by adults of reasonably sound mental states who wish to change, hopefully improve the behaviors of teenagers (or others at large), using psychological techniques that are well known, in the standard literature or that have been adapted and/or modified by this author through years of outpatient clinical experience.
The material in this ebook conforms to the general standards of the psychiatric and psychological professions in the United States. It is designed to assist people in general and is not meant to be a substitute for professional intervention. The author of this ebook does not claim the enclosed information will cure
teenager behavior problems, only that it will give the general reader a better sense of the range of ideas, concepts, terms and approaches in this area. Hence it is assumed that the reader has some normal or average competence and ability to read, think about and understand materials of this nature, and will seek professional help if necessary.
INTRODUCTION
I’m a child psychologist. This includes training about teenagers. Teens, by definition, are still children from the ages of thirteen to the day before they turn eighteen. Nineteen year olds, though technically adults, are still teenagers. On the low end of the teen spectrum, very mature twelve year olds will act like immature thirteen or even fourteen year olds. For this purpose, I treat mature twelve year olds like immature teens, even though the chronology doesn’t exactly line up. The same is true in reverse for nineteen year olds. I f they are immature, they will respond to the ideas and techniques in this ebook that are aimed more at 13 to 18 year olds.
Teens are different animals.
They are transitional beings; neither really young, nor particularly mature. They are neither fish nor fowl. They sometimes look like adults, even though their nervous systems are not mature. They sometimes look like younger children, even if their nervous systems are comparatively more mature. Their behavior changes from one to the other. For example, one minute your sweet child is begging you to come on the class trip or to lie down with him or her while s/he falls asleep. Then, seemingly overnight, s/he starts treating you like dirt, discounting everything you say and snickering at your suggestions. Some parents think of teenagers as just larger children, while other parents think teenagers are smaller adults. Technically, they are still children, even though it’s sometimes hard to tell whether they are acting like children or adults. They are both and they are neither.
Teens are beset by pesky hormones, which start earlier than you think. This hormonal shift actually begins between the ages of 8 ½ and 9 ½ years, depending upon whether your teen is a girl or boy, respectively. Hormones spark huge emotional and physical changes. Teens often look lanky, having just experienced one or more growth spurts, which usually means they are not well coordinated because, literally, their brains have not gotten used to their new physical dimensions. This and numerous glandular changes cause tremendous behavioral changes and concomitant self-consciousness.
At thirteen, parents become aliens;
that is, thirteen year olds typically withdraw from parents and overly bond with and seek refuge and support from peers. Again, mature twelve year olds do this earlier and immature fourteen year olds do it later, but this stage is one most teens traverse in this age range. All of this is normal.
Over my many years of working with individuals and families, I have developed techniques that profoundly influence behavior. Despite being in that awkward stage, teens, just like little younger children and adults, respond to these and other often simple, but well-understood treatments. When I say simple, I do not mean that everyone knows these things—-they don’t. And, when I say profoundly, I mean they are powerful and work quickly--instantly in some cases. I developed one technique only after observing successful families for a whole year. Other ones I swiped from minds greater than my own; for example, from B.F. Skinner (the rat
psychologist) I use some behavioral techniques. Skinner never applied his findings and techniques to what I address in this ebook. I put these two and lots of other experiences I have had with kids over twenty-six years into a system--a way to think about behavior and many ways to positively change it.
The best part is that my system is positive. The emphasis is not on punishment even though there is a place for that, if needed. It’s all based upon parenting techniques that are sort of good, then tweaked with hard research evidence of what really works and then applied warmly, with love--that makes them really good. I’ve been developing and using these ideas for years with very, very good results. Mothers leave my office shaking their heads after I’ve turned around monster
children in a matter of minutes. Parents report a sharp increase in the quality of their relationships with their children. If you have younger children, these techniques are described in my ebook, How to Change Children’s Behavior (Quickly), and are repeated in part, but modified (for teens) in this ebook. For the present publication, I use different examples because