Doctor Gnome

Dr. Gnome

A.M. Burns

Published by Mystichawker Press

Copyright 2012 A.M. Burns

Smashwords Edition

Edited by Laura Culley

Cover by Mel Kary

For More Information on A.M. Burns visit http://www.amburns.com

This is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, incidents or places are either a product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblances to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events or locals are entirely coincidental.

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Doctor Gnome

1

Three goblins, Alake, Kojo and Razi Rutu tapped their white canes along the narrow avenues of Buteamore. Razi sighed as they walked. Beneath the sheer white gauze covering them, his keen eyes kept watch for anything out of the ordinary. They had their orders. They must carry out the boss’s plan. No one must be the wiser. Too many people nosed about where they shouldn’t and it was time to chop off some of those nosey noses. The brothers were the best assassins in the valley. No one ever suspected the three blind, helpless goblins.

***

Well played my friends, Hydd Berryman said, laying his cards on the table. The tall slender elf ran a hand through immaculate blond hair. But I’m afraid you must play the next hand without me. My wife’s expecting me in a few minutes.

You know, she keeps you on a very short leash, said Professor Drys. A smile crossed his angular elven face.

Nonsense, they’re still young and in love, Major Havenstan, the former troll army commander replied with a gruff laugh that shook the man’s immense frame.

Berryman joined in the laugh. I shall return after dinner, then we can have another round, perhaps I will win that one.

You can try Hydd, you can try, the major chuckled.

***

Horses nickered as the goblins walked past. Razi Rutu wished the beasts would remain silent. They edged around the carriages, carts and horses waiting out front of the Lady’s Pleasure, an exclusive club in the middle of Buteamore. The upper crust of valley society and their friends rarely paid any heed to the comings and goings of the likes of three blind goblins. Except for the waiting horses, the area was empty. Razi held his tin cup high as he tapped his way across the carriage yard in front of the club.

A tall, elegant elf walked out the front door, heading toward an equally elegant gray horse not far from Razi. The goblin recognized the elf from the image sent to him and his brothers. This was their first target, right on schedule.

***

As Hydd Berryman walked out of The Lady’s Pleasure, he spotted his horse waiting patiently for him. Three blind goblins tapped their way across the fairly full carriage yard. It always amazed him how handicapped people of all races maneuvered through the world as well as they did. He reached into his coin purse and dug out a piece of copper and dropped it into the first goblin’s cup. With a curt, Thank you, m’Lord, the goblin continued past him, the white cane barely missing the elf’s legs.

Two steps later, Hydd wondered how the goblin had known he was a lord. He turned back toward the blind goblin, just in time to see the smaller creature swing its white staff into his stomach. The elf doubled over in pain as green knuckles laced with heavy metal cracked him in the nose. Hydd Berryman fell.

***

Kojo Rutu pulled the short knife out of the base of the elf’s skull. Hoof beats sounded from the narrow avenue they’d just traversed.

Get him up, Razi ordered. Here comes our ride.

Seconds later, a small wagon driven by another goblin and drawn by a heavily-lathered, large, black horse, pulled into the carriage yard. The three brothers hefted the dead elf into the back of the wagon and threw a tattered blanket over him before piling on top of the corpse. Razi tapped the driver on the shoulder. With a crack of the whip, the driver drove the wagon out of the carriage yard at a fast trot.

***

Sarff Willowstaff uncovered the simple wooden-framed silver mirror on the wall. Long delicate elvin fingers tapped the frame three times, then waited for the face to appear. In a swirl of mist, the mirror connected with its twin at Fragrance Guild headquarters.

Willowstaff are you there? asked a voice from the mirror.

Willowstaff here, but Berryman isn’t back yet, the elf replied.

Go ahead and give your report, Willowstaff.

Something moved outside the window. Willowstaff turned and saw a squat green face with large ears looking in, a large metallic tube leveled at her beyond the thin glass of the window. In the next room, a window shattered just as the metallic tube shook, smoke poured forth and the window before her exploded in a shower of glass. The elf screamed as something slammed into her chest, throwing her across the room.

***

Razi Rutu jumped through the shattered glass and landed on the plush carpet.

Willowstaff report! the voice from the mirror shouted.

The goblin pulled the cover back over the mirror while his brother Kojo plunged his dagger deep into the elven female’s small breast. Razi held a finger to his lips to remind his brother to be silent. They didn’t want their voices to carry through the magic mirror back to Fragrance Guild HQ.

Luckily, the elf woman was lighter than the man. The two goblins picked her up and carried her out to the waiting cart while their brother Alake rummaged through the small, neat house. Their boss had told them to search for anything that might lead the Elves to him. He was explicit that the elves must not find any clues.

Minutes later the goblins loaded back into the cart and drove off down the small valley.

***

Knuckles gripping the ornate frame, Field Liaison Greenbriar shouted into the mirror. Willowstaff report!

Greenbriar, what’s going on? asked Liaison Coordinator Falcon, walking into his cubicle.

The younger elf stood and nervously ran a hand through his long brown hair. Agent Willowstaff had just opened a connection when she was cut off. I heard a loud boom and glass breaking. Also Agent Berryman did not arrive home in time for their daily check in.

The senior officer nodded. I’ll inform K about this. She’ll want to get someone out there immediately.

2

Patrons filled the Tiny Hiney Wine and Whorehouse for the annual gaming tournament. People of all sorts pushed their way into the bar’s normally-spacious main floor trying to play or observe the games in progress. The clamoring din in the place made it impossible for anyone to hear much beyond the area around the particular table that held their attention. Individual sound-dampening spells allowed each table’s dealer and players to hear each other without straining. At one table, several elves and a vixen bent over small hexagonal cards in their hand. A large pile of brightly colored chips dominated the center of the green table.

I fold, the vixen muttered laying down her cards. She glared down her russet fur-covered muzzle at the young elf sitting across from her.

Too much for me, said one of the other elves, also laying his cards on the table with a scowl.

Well? asked the young elf, nodding to the beautiful woman across from him.

The elf woman took a long, deep breath, heaving her tight chest. She peered at the man across from her, then looked at the dealer. May I raise? I’m good for it.

The dealer looked at the other player. Does my Lord wish to raise?

The younger elf nodded his perfectly-groomed blond head. I don’t care if she raises or not.

The woman pushed the rest of her chips to the center of the table with a predatory smile. I’ll raise then, an additional one thousand gold crowns.

The area around the table hissed into silence. Before he could respond, the young elf startled at a tap on his shoulder. Madame Yvette Tiny, proprietress of the Tiny Hiney, stood there. Alchemy, you’re needed in the office. There was a musical tone of enjoyment in the elegant elf’s voice.

The young elf signed heavily. K has the worst timing. Winning this hand would put her in just the right mood for me. I wonder if I can bill K for the loss? He laid his cards down. I am afraid duty calls my Lady. The game is yours. He rose and headed toward the door with a wink across the table.

***

Alchemy, where have you been? Delfinia Dove asked as he strolled into her office below Lady Kamala’s Fragrance Fantasimy.

Alchemy tossed his cloak across the room. It landed lightly on the cloak rack. He smiled at the first assistant to the head of the Fragrance Guild. Off at the games. You remember the annual tournament is today? I thought you were going to come watch me play?

Sorry Alchemy. Some of us have to keep regular hours. K’s waiting for you.

Pond! Get in here! The voice of K, also known as Lady Kamala, rolled from her office into Delfinia’s. There was an urgency in the call that masked the normally musical quality of his boss’s voice.

Maybe you can watch me tonight? Alchemy smiled as he walked in to next office.

Not a speck of dust lay anywhere in sight. K wouldn’t allow it in her office. The mistress of the Fragrance Guild ran a tight ship. She could be a tough mistress, but she got things done. The elegant elf sat behind a massive ironwood desk. Her long black hair spilled down around her delicate shoulders. Her sharp green eyes flashed as Alchemy walked in.

What kept you, Pond?

I left as soon as Madame Yvette delivered your message. Alchemy sat in one of the cushioned leather chairs in front of her desk. He knew better than to argue with K.

I need you to go to Buteamore immediately, K began without further preamble. We’ve lost contact with our agents there.

What’s going on? asked Alchemy, relaxing in the chair.

That’s what I need you to find out, K explained. The valley isn’t far from where the humans are developing a new communications system using specially-bred firebirds. They’re much faster than either pigeons or pixdragons, some people claim they may be telepathic. The problem is the humans discovered a secret agent in their midst recently with a little too much information on the firebirds. The humans asked for our help. They’re afraid that someone is going to try and disrupt their impending hatch. We suspect the gnomes are behind it. Agents Willowstaff and Berryman were trying to find out what they could due to the large number of gnomes and their allies in Buteamore, along with its proximity to the human border. Willowstaff was cut off in the middle of a report via mirror and Berryman never made his report that same day.

Alchemy leaned forward, intrigued. He’d heard the humans were working on some new messaging system, but it was all very top secret. So who else do we have in the field in that area?

Gavin Whitehawk has been working with the humans for a couple of weeks. He’ll contact you when you arrive. You have a room reserved at The Lady’s Pleasure.

The door opened and a stout older elven mage in long gray robes walked in. Ah, I see that Pond is still here, he smiled.

RD, what do you have? K asked.

The old mage walked over to the desk. Mister Pond, let me see your wand.

Alchemy pulled his wand out of the pocket of his thin leather jacket and handed it to the guild’s senior research and development man. RD looked at the wand and shook his gray head. Just as I remembered, he said. This birch sapling is great for an apprentice wizard, but you’re now a top agent for the Fragrance Guild. Honestly Pond, you need something a bit more substantial.

Alchemy looked sharply at the old mage. Now RD, you know I don’t have any problems with my wand, or at least none that I’ve been told about.

Pond! K snapped. I must insist that you carry a stronger wand. RD brought the new standard issue for field agents. She gestured to the man.

The old mage laid the sapling wand on K’s desk before pulling a long wooden box from his robe and extracting a long dark wand. Ironwood, thicker and slightly longer than what you’re used to carrying he tapped the wand lightly on K’s desk before handing it to Alchemy.

Alchemy waved it around. A bit heavier than I’m used to. He frowned at the two of them.

Get used to it, said K, snatching the old wand before he could reclaim it. You’ll find it more useful than this little thing you’ve been wielding. Now you’re going to travel by gate. There’s one up at the castle that will take you to Buteamore. I need you there as soon as possible.

Alchemy watched his old wand disappear into the depths of K’s desk with a sigh. He’d learned a lot over the past twenty years with that wand. He still remembered when his teacher, Shamus the Magnificent, gave him the wand on the first day of his apprenticeship. He hated the thought that it might be gone forever. Maybe Delphinia could reclaim it for him if he asked her nicely. She often seemed open to his charms.

I’ll be there. He turned and walked toward the outer office.

And Pond, don’t dilly dally, K called after him. The humans have a new batch of firebirds due to hatch any day now. We need this resolved quickly.

3

Gavin Whitehawk sighed as he watched over Buteamore’s incoming portal terminal. A popular hunting and resort area, the portal terminal stayed fairly busy with folks coming from all over the world of Vihrea and several other dimensions to enjoy what the valley offered. Even non-magical races, like humans, could use the portals if they were created correctly by mages from the magical races like elves. According to his last communication from K, Delfinia said Alchemy should’ve already arrived. Gavin’d waited several hours, watching the portals from the balcony above the terminal floor. He was on the lookout for both his friend and anyone else who might be waiting for the young Fragrance Guild agent. He’d already spotted a couple of different people who could’ve been trouble. One goblin female moved around the terminal using a magical box to capture images of people as they came through the various portals to the wonders of Buteamore. From what Gavin could tell, she’d managed to sell several images to travelers. He tried to recall if she’d been in the terminal when he arrived over a week ago.

A portal shimmered and Alchemy Pond walked through. Gavin marveled at the changes in his friend. Gone was the clumsy, often bumbling apprentice wizard. Now a mature elf confidently strode into the terminal. The thin leather jacket he wore better suited his average build than traditional wizard robes ever had. The warrior always thought that robes made his friend look overly skinny and whimpish. His blond hair was cut shorter than Gavin ever remembered seeing it, but it worked well with the angles of the wizard’s face, even if it did show off the point of his ears a bit much. Gavin bet the changes were Delfinia’s influence. The good right hand of K had taken a liking to Alchemy ever since their first meeting.

The goblin woman with the magic box offered Alchemy one of her images, but he waved her away. Gavin couldn’t tell what was said. Then a coachman walked up to his friend.

***

Razi Rutu watched as his sister, Misha, approached the elf. He looked younger than Razi had imagined, but then he had trouble discerning the age of elves. They lived so much longer than goblins and looked so different with their flawless skin and flowing hair of various colors. All goblins were green, different shades of green, but still green. The older a goblin, the more warts they had. It was easy to tell age on goblins.

The elf waved Misha off and continued toward the terminal doors. He carried only two