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    OCR is Not the Only Font
    OCR is Not the Only Font
    OCR is Not the Only Font
    Ebook120 pages1 hour

    OCR is Not the Only Font

    By Damon L. Wakes

    4.5/5

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    About this ebook

    Silly, surreal and sometimes serious, these thirty-one very short stories cover a vast range of subjects and themes. Written entirely during July 2012, these flash fiction pieces are accompanied by a deeply unscientific analysis of the challenge that spawned them: to write thirty-one stories in thirty-one days.

    From lovesick androids to disgruntled minotaurs, the stories in this book embrace Classical mythology, futuristic sci-fi, and a variety of other genres that would much rather have stayed out of the way. Within these electronic pages, you will find disgraced superheroes, unionised zombies, steam-powered clowns and incompetent astronauts. Includes a non-fiction section analysing the results of this month-long experiment.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDamon L. Wakes
    Release dateAug 9, 2012
    ISBN9781476408859
    OCR is Not the Only Font
    Author

    Damon L. Wakes

    Damon L. Wakes was born in 1991 and began to write a few years later. He holds an MA in Creative and Critical Writing from the University of Winchester, and a BA in English Literature from the University of Reading.When he isn’t writing, Damon enjoys weaving chainmail and making jewellery. He produces items made of modern metals such as aluminium, niobium and titanium, but constructed using thousand-year-old techniques.Damon’s other interests are diverse. He has at various times taken up archery, fencing and kayaking, ostensibly as research for books but mostly because it’s something to do.

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    • 4/5
      OCR is Not the Only Font is a collection of 31 very short stories, written over the course of 31 days for Flash Fiction Month. The mission? Write a story every day ranging from 55 to 1000 words. The result? A fast-paced romp of wacky hijinks where robots are romantics and minotaurs are oppressed. Intrigued? You should be. Okay, okay, I exaggerated a little bit. It’s not all madcap-mayhem. Some of the stories are, actually, serious. In fact, if you look at the graphs at the end of the book (and, yes, I did skip to the end and read those first), you’ll see the pie chart indicating that about 1/4 of the stories are of a more serious nature. So, it’s 3/4 wacky hijinks. Not bad, right? Not bad if you like silly stories, which I do. Some are clever with little twists that make you smile. Others are rather corny, taking on the quality of a joke that makes you groan while waiting to hear the “ba-dum-tish” piping from your computer (or e-reader, or whatever you use). But I love to laugh, so even these found a way into my heart and I admire the author’s moxie in not only writing such things down, but also in sharing them with the public in all their cheesy glory. There are, of course, the more serious stories. Though these are good, it was the fun, quirky tales that drew me into the book. At first I thought it was the nature of flash fiction that lent itself well to silliness, but after further consideration, I don’t think that’s the case. There’s something unapologetic about these stories, exhibiting the act of writing for the simple joy of it. Considering the circumstances under which they were written, I think that makes sense. Who could manage to write a story every day for a month, if one didn’t love to write? The writing itself, though rough in spots, was quite good, and any bumps in technique were made up for in heart. The brevity of the stories provides for an easy read, creating a “just one more” craving, like intellectual potato chips. It’s fun, it’s whimsical, and it’s worth picking up. After all, where else can you find stories about a drunken Superman or revolutionary zombies, all in one spot?

    Book preview

    OCR is Not the Only Font - Damon L. Wakes

    Introduction

    Where to begin? The obvious answer, at the beginning, would suggest July 1st, 2012: the first day of Flash Fiction Month. Heard of it? Until the 27th of June, I hadn’t either.

    Flash Fiction Month is a little bit like National Novel Writing Month. But while the aim of NaNoWriMo is to produce a novel in a month, Flash Fiction Month demands the completion of thirty-one separate stories: one each and every day. It’s like NaNoWriMo’s little brother. More accurately, it’s like NaNoWriMo’s pet. It’s like NaNoWriMo got a bunny, then thought it looked lonely and got it a friend. Now NaNoWriMo kind of regrets having to look after thirty-one bunnies. The bunnies have to be fed and exercised every day. They have to be cleaned and given fresh water, and they have to be entertained. Each one of the thirty-one bunnies demands a story, but NaNoWriMo is too busy being a month to do this so it outsources the job to writers on the internet. Sometimes the bunnies demand a very specific story involving word limits, enormous Japanese robots or the subversion of certain literary tropes. The bunnies demand that each story be between fifty-five and one thousand words in length, so that they fit neatly inside their little bunny brains. These are some very demanding bunnies.

    I forget where this analogy is going. Flash Fiction Month is not made of bunnies. Neither is it related to NaNoWriMo. It is a month-long event held in July that asks participants to write one piece of flash fiction every day, requiring a surprising level of willpower. On top of this, the organisers set regular challenges for those who wish to attempt them. Despite really only having participated on a whim, I found this to be an extremely rewarding event. If you would like to read more about my experience with Flash Fiction Month, check out The Section with Graphs and Stuff. Otherwise, turn the page for a story about a vampire.

    1

    Beauty and the Brick

    Challenge #1: Write a story that incorporates elements from urban fantasy and comedy.

    Once upon a time, a charming young woman was walking through the city park at night. It was a big park, very dark, and she was exactly the sort of person who invariably meets a vampire in this sort of story. All of a sudden and totally unexpectedly, a vampire jumped out from some trees.

    Bleargh! said the vampire (in a vampire accent). I am a vampire! I want to suck your blood!

    She wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, and secretly hoped that something would put a convenient end to the conversation so it wouldn’t become awkward.

    Conveniently, at that moment, a vampire hunter jumped out from some other trees and drove a stake through the heart of the vampire. Fear not, fair maiden! he shouted. For I am a vampire hunter, sworn to put an end to the undead menace once and for all!

    I can see that, she said. It says so on your T shirt.

    Ah, yes! He beamed. I forgot I was wearing that today. Say, I don’t suppose you’ve seen any other vampires around…

    But at that moment, someone else sprang from a third lot of trees and ran him through with a cutlass. It was quite messy, and the charming young woman was surprised to see such a display of totally unnecessary violence. Her face must have shown it, because the newcomer apologised.

    I’m sorry you had to see that. I’m a vampire hunter hunter, he explained. That is to say, I hunt vampire hunters. I don’t like vampires any more than the next living person, but I don’t think it’s right to slaughter them just because they’re unholy abominations of evil. It’s a shame I couldn’t get here in time to save this…

    He couldn’t finish, however, because just then yet another person appeared from yet another bunch of trees and exploded him with magic.

    Hello, he said, sheepishly. Bear with me, because this gets kind of complicated, but I’m a vampire hunter hunter hunter. I hunt those who hunt vampire hunters, and… at that moment, he spotted the corpse of the man who had staked the vampire. Oh, hey! he exclaimed. Maybe I should get that on a shirt. It would make things easier to explain.

    Not wishing to question your career choice, said the woman, but why did you become a vampire hunter, hunter… she began to lose count.

    Vampire hunter hunter hunter, he reminded her. Well, you see. I’m not actually interested in vampires at all. My intention is to protect the endangered micro-pixies found only in this particular park. Their invisible villages are magically protected from being trampled once or twice, but when three people—for example: a vampire, a vampire hunter and a vampire hunter hunter—cross the same patch of ground one after another, it’s simply too much for their small magic to bear. Actually, I’ve got some leaflets on the subject…

    He rummaged in his coat pocket, but never managed to get a leaflet out because one more man appeared from one more stand of trees and inflicted upon him a lethal papercut.

    "Salutations. I’m a vampire hunter hunter hunter hunter. I overheard something about micro-pixies: that’ll save some time. You see, I hunt vampire hunter hunter hunters in order to protect the far more endangered micro-micro-pixies, which are resistant to

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