A Hysterical Site

CHAPTER ONE

Edwin Wildermuse walked the streets of New York briskly. He watched the pedestrians around him as he walked, feeling uncomfortable and out-of-place vulnerable.

They should move the location of this store even if it's got a long customer history with us. He grumbled to himself. The neighborhood has gone down so, it just doesn't feel safe anymore.

He instinctively drew his left arm with the courier case handcuffed to it closer to his body as a mean looking, heavy-set man stepped in front of him and stopped, baring his way.

Surprised, Edwin stepped back and something hit the back of his head. Hard. The man in front of him quickly spun Edwin around and he felt a hand on the small of his back. It gave him a quick shove.

Shaking his head, vision blurred, Edwin was pushed forward into two other arms.

The second set of arms held him tightly as the first. The two men hustled him into a nearby alley. They held him between them and propelled him quickly away from the street.

His head hurting, struggling to keep from stumbling, Edwin was forced down the alley toward a large commercial dumpster.

Stunned and still not seeing clearly, Edwin Wildermuse smelled more than saw the dumpster. His flailing hand brushed the cold metal of it briefly.

Still trying to clear his vision, the back of his head hurting even worse, Edwin wondered if he had a concussion and vainly reached out trying to find something to hold to. His free hand contacted the side of the dumpster and was flat on the metal side of it searching blindly for something to hold to as he tried to get his balance.

No matter how he struggled, both men kept their tight grips on him.

Edwin gasped for breath from the exertion and struggled in vain. Weakening, he tried to cry out. It was too late. He was too weak, unable to defend himself or even cry out for help. Gasping, frightened and short of breath, only a soft protesting moan came out of his mouth.

Hold him, a gruff voice commanded as Edwin, head spinning, finally lost his balance and fell. His free hand slid helplessly down the side of the dumpster.

Already on his knees, Edwin was roughly pushed down and laid flat on the concrete.

Someone grabbed his left hand and pulled his arm with the locked case on it out straight beside him.

He gasped at a sudden sharp pain in his wrist. Something wet and warm splashed on his skin. His eyes opened in shock and horror as his blurred vision focused on the bloody hatchet he now saw raised above him. It was gory with blood. His blood, he realized, and it was poised to strike again. Horrified, Edwin gasped, unable to move, as the hatchet slashed down.

"Again. Harder." Came a determined command.

Fighting for consciousness, his heart pounding, Edwin finally lay still, but was still trying to stay conscious and do something, anything, to defend himself. Arms useless, he tried to kick out his legs toward the man on his left who was still holding his hurting arm. The legs still worked, he grunted satisfaction at that. But they met with nothing. His struggles were getting weaker. He shut his eyes against vertigo. The world was slowly spinning as if he lay on the surface of water, carrying his body in a slow circle. He was cold. He was helpless. He was bleeding. He was being robbed and he knew he was dying.

Still able to hear dimly, he heard small street noises in the distance as one of the thieves wiped blood off the sample case.

With his last breath, Edwin's lips emitted a barely audible little chuckle. A big, wide and amused grin spread over Edwin Wildermuse's pale face as he lay dying.

What the? The gruff voice above him was shocked. Puzzled.

Never mind. Another voice said. We've got it. Go!

The last thing Edwin heard were footsteps running. His attackers feet pounded the hard, filthy, concrete of the alley.

Use my gift to you wisely, Little Eddie, Edwin Wildermuse breathed softly. Or buy a pink vest and decorate it with them if you want to. I don't care. I-love-you…..

* * *

In Maryvale, Tennessee, Gladys, secretary, dispatcher, and general all round help for the Sheriff of Pine County, looked up from her office computer.

Her boss, Sheriff Cas Larkin, paused as he came in from the parking lot.

Gladys handed him a note, one hand still on her keyboard.

Aunt Harry called? What did she want? Cas looked at the memo as if he expected it to talk.

How would I know? Gladys laughed. I told her you'd be back soon.

She excited? Mad? Any hints at why she called?

Cas, her voice was a bit scolding as Gladys looked up. Are you afraid of her?

Certainly not. He frowned. I'm afraid of delaying my dinner is all. I'll wait till I get home to return her call. You can go too, Gladys. I just saw the other car pull into the parking lot.

Okay, thanks. Gladys smiled, And say hello to Harry for me.

* * *

Hey, you're actually a little early.

Connie, Cas Larkin's wife greeted him at their kitchen door at home. All quiet in the county?

Yes, that and I knew you were fixing crock pot chicken.

He pulled her close and kissed her, taking time to sniff the good kitchen scents over her shoulder.

I got a call from Aunt Harry when I got in, just before I left. I'm going to return her call before I take off my boots and wash up.

Oh, something up?

Don't know. Gladys gave me the call but no information. She just said call. Can't ever tell with Harry. Cas shrugged and reached for the wall phone.

A few seconds later Cas hung up the phone looking worried. Connie turned to him.

No answer?

No. Makes me wonder. Hope there's nothing wrong.

Don't worry about it. You can call her again after dinner. She'd have said so if there was some emergency, wouldn't she?

Cas was spared any further pangs of conscience by the ringing phone. Caller ID told him it was Harry.

He was still close enough to the phone to grab it on the first ring.

Cas? I just tried the office again, guess I just missed you.

I'm here, Aunt Harry. What's up?

Nothing really. I was just hunting for something to look at on TV while I eat and saw on CNN there was some kind of robbery in New York and a man was killed. One of the few clues they have is he had a couple of addresses besides New York on his ID and one of the addresses is Maryvale, but it was spelled Merryville, I think. It wasn't too plain they said. Looked like TN for Tennessee one of the reporters said, just making a guess at it. The police were busy herding them and their photographers out of their way.

A reporter said Merryville or Maryville or vale and the state looked like Tennessee? That's too vague to take seriously, Harry.

Oh, I know. It just got my attention when they said the state might be Tennessee and the town's name started with Mary or Merry. And it was one of two addresses they said. Guess the other one was in New York.

Cas listened and Connie watched Cas, listening to his side of the conversation.

The strange thing to me is a mugging made the news in New York, Cas teased his favorite aunt.

Yeah, you're right about that. It was only the guess about the two ID addresses that really got my attention. But there was a lot of action as the police got rid of the press and, of course, after the fact witnesses who evidently just lucked up on what was going on. Curiosity is nationwide, I guess. She laughed. Anyway, the photographers panned the area as the police ran them off and it looked like the scene was bloody. It was a man, the one who was mugged, I mean. I saw his feet in one of the distant shots. It was some sort of mugging or attack in an alley, it looked like to me. Makes you glad to be in Tennessee doesn't it?

I was already glad of that, Harry. Cas paused, giving it some thought.

Robbery, hum. Cas took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of the chicken Connie was taking up. Must have been brutal if you could see blood. A mugging. You wouldn't think that would make CNN where there are so many of them. Must have been something valuable or a vicious attack to have rated a few seconds on CNN…. Or maybe not. Maybe it wasn't blood you saw.

Don't you dare point out how old my eyes are, or the rest of me either. It looked like blood to me. It was dark and reddish and wet and it wasn't raining and the police were having a time trying to get rid of the reporters. She paused for breath.

Then it probably was the bloody scene that got it mentioned on CNN. But if the victim had an address here, I guess we'll hear about it.

Cas shrugged as if Harry could see him, Connie went on putting their dinner on the table.

Maybe it was Merrivale or Mary Valley or something. Lots of different variations and little towns, even down here where we are. Cas reminded her. So this was in New York? He grinned. So much for 'the city that never sleeps. Or is that Las Vegas, come to think of it? Any more interesting late bulletins?

No. I just thought it was strange. The name, I mean.

Don't worry about it, Harry. They might not even have it spelled right as I said, or it may have been a previous address or an address for someone else.

Harry wasn't the only worrier in the Larkin family. Cas briefly searched his memory for anyone who had moved to New York but New York rang no bells at all in his memory.

Connie was relieved when Cas shrugged and he smiled.

I only worry about crime in Pine County. Cas winked at Connie and dismissed the far away crime from his worry list.

Only problems closer to home. When are you coming to visit, Harry?

Hey, are you lumping me in with problems? Harry laughed. But the answer is I don't know. I'm too happy and busy with my family I didn't think I'd ever have. She laughed, her joy audible now.

Cas pictured Harry with her step daughter and her baby, Harry's cute little grandchild.

Good. Don't you worry about CNN or New York, just Pine County. And there's nothing to worry about here right now. Cas quickly reassured her.

Cas hung up with a sigh and took off his boots, getting comfortable before he washed up to do justice to Connie's crock pot chicken.

Connie had brought their pie and coffee into the den to look at the local news after dinner when the phone rang again. Cas picked up the phone beside him on an end table.

Judge Tim Carpenter gave Cas the same news bulletin Harry had.

No names were given or anything else in the way of information, Tim informed him. Probably just made the news because it was such a bizarre mugging.

Sure sounds like it. Cas agreed. Harry called me, she saw it too. Said the picture showed blood all over some alley up there.

Yes. The man's hand was chopped off.

Hand chopped off. Was it there? The hand, I mean? Harry just said it was a brief news bulletin, but she said she did see that it looked like a bloody scene.

Another voice chimed in on their conversation with, That's what I get for eaves-dropping on the phone. Tim's wife, Hannah, said sounding disgusted. I guess I'll dream about bloody hands tonight.

Hannah hung up and Tim laughed with Cas.

Guess this was the latest update I just saw, Tim said. And yes, no wonder it was bloody. I think I could see it in the picture too, some blood, I mean. I didn't see any hand, though. Weird, isn't it? There wasn't much coverage of that since the police wouldn't let the press get close. The pictures weren't all that good, taken from a distance. They probably got close as the police would let the photographers get.

Tim paused. But, looks like if they just wanted to kill the man, let him bleed out that is, heck, I don't know. He shrugged as if Cas could see him. Maybe the muggers didn't have a gun. Maybe they just saw an opportunity and that was it. All the facts given were the man attacked was just lying there in all that blood with his hand chopped off. That's all they said. They used all the cautious language that meant it looked like the hand being chopped off was the cause of death."

Cas asked curiously, Chopped. They said chopped? Not cut or injured….

Nope. They said the wound looked 'ragged' like it was chopped off. There was another brief silence. What do you think?

I think you should give CNN a rest and just look at the local news and weather.

Tim laughed. Yeah. I guess so. They probably got the name of the town wrong too. I'll just go back to house hunting with Hannah and let the NYPD handle it.

Good idea. Are you and Hannah seriously looking for a place to buy?

No. At least speaking for myself, I’m not. We're comfortable where we are. Hannah's little house is just right for two people. It's just something to do, drive around and look and maybe find a new place to explore or have lunch.

Good. And good hunting, too. You may luck up on a place you like and as you said, there's no hurry since you’re comfortable where you are….

CHAPTER TWO

Edgar Wildermuse, master chef, known to his Uncle Edwin Wildermuse as Little Eddie, had just lost his temper again and his job along with it. He looked around the place one last time, glad the manager was there and not the owner. The owner, who was a woman with an iron fist, an acid tongue, and had no taste at all, according to Eddie, was as set in her ways as Edgar was in his.

The list of do's and don't and hours she'd posted in Edgar's kitchen when she stopped by that day was the last straw.

Eddie hitched a big book bag up on his shoulder. He stomped out on his way home, wondering if he still had a home. He didn't look back.

Calming down as he walked, Eddie stopped at a bench by a bus stop in the next block and pulled out a dog eared address book. He smiled to himself, went to the nearest public phone and dialed a number.

At his home, Ed, Edward Alden, Eddie's Significant Other and a talented interior decorator, paced the sidewalk outside their apartment house.

He watched nervously as two big burly movers went in and out of his and Eddie's third floor apartment. They were bringing Ed and Eddie's furniture and possessions out to set them on the sidewalk.

Ed looked carefully at each piece of furniture with any wood on it for scratches or other damages they might have done.

Looking mournfully back at the steps to the door of the building, he moved a loveseat a little farther away from a fire plug and sat down. He rested his head in his hands, eyes closed on the unhappy scene.

Well, Ed, he told himself softly, You and Eddie are now homeless. Evicted. How awful. Evicted!

Someone touched his shoulder. It was one of the movers.

You got any place to put this stuff?

The mover looked sympathetic. Somehow the sympathy just made Ed feel worse. He shook his head.

You might want to start calling around. The burley mover said hesitantly. You know, looking for some place or something, just to store it? I mean….. The mover looked up and down the street. You know the police aren't going to let you stay out here and dark is going to be like an engraved invitation for whoever wants to, to help himself.

Oh, I know. Ed got up, looking worried, and looked up the street.

He gasped and pointed, hope back in his eyes. There he is, he told the mover. There's my partner, Eddie.

The mover turned to see Eddie Wildermuse coming toward them, a large book bag over his shoulder. He gave Ed another sympathetic glance then without speaking, went back inside to join the other mover.

Ed went a few steps to meet Eddie, trying hard not to look as bad as he felt.

Oh, thank goodness you're home. There was no warning or anything, Eddie. These movers just knocked on the door, pushed me out of the way-

Concerned, Eddie took Ed's hand. They hurt you, Ed? Insult you?

No. No, nothing like that. Ed shook his head. They just said they were here to evict us tenants and checked the address and our names.

He stared at the bag on Eddie's shoulder. His face was worried again. His eyes sought Eddie's.

Is ah, is that all your things in the book bag?

Eddie nodded. It is. Eddie gave him a swift hug to soften the bad news. Ed rested his head on Eddie's shoulder a moment.

But don't fret, Eddie said sounding upbeat. One good thing about New York is it's big enough to offer a lot of options.

Eddie grinned in spite of their being put out on the street and gave a wave at one of the movers who set something else outside. The mover grinned at him and waved back, relieved that the other tenant looked friendly too.

Eddie led Ed over to the love seat by the fire plug and both sat down. Eddie settled the book bag beside him and got comfortable. After all it was still their couch, on the sidewalk or not.

Comforted by Eddie's presence, Ed was now feeling better and it showed.

The other mover was friendly, too. Ed had noticed the mover’s sympathy when he looked his partner over. After all, it was just a job and a lot more pleasant if the evicted people didn't hold them responsible for their problems. He had nodded and waved at Eddie before he went back inside for more of their meager belongings.

Their things looked even the worse for wear on the street in broad daylight. Ed's eyes sought Eddie's.

I quit the greasy spoon. Eddie told him. That miserable woman was an absolute witch. Too mean to pay enough anyway and I hated the place. He brightened and moved the book bag down to the sidewalk beside the couch.

Ed waited.

I'd been looking round for something else, keeping my ears open. I looked at a few places, too. After I left I stopped on the way home at a phone and called the place I was most interested in. I've just come from there.

He smiled at Ed who still had a worried frown on his face. He touched Ed's hand.

I've got another job, Ed. A better one. I think it's going to be good, turn into something better for us.

He looked around and up to the third floor windows where their apartment was. Ed hadn't commented.

And a place to live is included in the salary at the new place, so we've got a place to put this stuff, He gave what he could see a critical look. What you want to keep anyway. Eddie waved his arm, taking in their things.

Oh, that's the best news I've heard all week, Ed took a deep breath and the biggest of the movers stopped, stepping a little closer.

Did I hear you say you've got a place to put what you want to keep? Eddie nodded cautiously.

We're available, the big man chuckled. We'll do the job if it's not too far, for just a little more than what we were paid to move this stuff out. We've got it all now.

Like, how much? Eddie was still cautious.

Ed looked from one face to the other, holding his breath.

The price was right and all four of them quickly began loading Ed and Eddie's things they wanted to keep into the beat up moving van.

Wait a second. The big mover stopped, touching Eddie's hand.

.If it's okay with you, the three of us can handle this that you want to keep I think. If it's all right, I'd like to leave my partner here with a couple of our tools to make room for the furniture and come back for him. Okay?

Done deal! Ed and Eddie both smiled. The smaller mover had heard the deal being made. He grinned and gave them a thumbs up.

Both of them started helping to put the rest of their belongings into the van. They shoved the rest up against the wall of the building then around close but not obstructing the fire plug. The discarded left outs didn't