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    Next Time I Move, They'll Carry Me Out in a Box
    Next Time I Move, They'll Carry Me Out in a Box
    Next Time I Move, They'll Carry Me Out in a Box
    Ebook94 pages1 hour

    Next Time I Move, They'll Carry Me Out in a Box

    By Michele Wojciechowski

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    About this ebook

    If war is hell, moving is a close second.
    That’s what Michele “Wojo” Wojciechowski and her husband discovered when they accidently stumbled upon their dream home, impulsively decided to sell their own house, and then got caught in the craziest move of a lifetime. Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box shares the universal misadventures associated with moving. Wojo lays everything out in such a funny and informative way that readers selling their homes can use this humor book as both a roadmap and a measuring stick to plot (and nix) moving strategies.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMichele Wojciechowski
    Release dateSep 8, 2012
    ISBN9780988189317
    Next Time I Move, They'll Carry Me Out in a Box
    Author

    Michele Wojciechowski

    Michele “Wojo” Wojciechowski is a national award-winning freelance writer and humorist, as well as a standup comedian and public speaker. Her writing has appeared in Family Circle, Boys’ Life, Los Angeles Times Magazine, Maryland Life, Baltimore magazine, the BaltimoreSun.com, and the Chicago Tribune’s RedEye.com, among many others. She has written the award-winning column, Wojo’s WorldTM since 2003 and is a faculty member of the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. Wojo lives with her family in Baltimore, Maryland and is never moving again. For more information, visit WojosWorld.com.

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      Book preview

      Next Time I Move, They'll Carry Me Out in a Box - Michele Wojciechowski

      Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box

      ADVANCE PRAISE FOR

      Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box

      Michele Wojciechowski is a humor writer who writes actual humor, and a living human who lives like a real human, with broken appliances, a house that grows dirt, and a hus- band who needs psychological counseling. You’re going to love her misadventures, but most of all you’re going to love how she finds the funny in the things that drive us all a little crazy.

      --W. Bruce Cameron, author of the New York Times bestsellers 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter and A Dog’s Purpose as well as its sequel, A Dog’s Journey

      "Anyone who’s selling a home or considering it will enjoy the humor and candor in Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box. One part group therapy and one part roadmap, this is a home-sellers manual without the snooze factor. The tone in this very relatable book is just right for any homeowner who wants nothing more than to see a ‘sold’ sign in their front yard and to move on to their next home without incident or injury."

      --Margaret Kelly, Chief Executive Officer, RE/MAX LLC

      I didn’t think there was anything funny about moving. Until I read Michele Wojciechowski’s laugh-until-you-cry essays on the subject, that is. One thing is for sure, if I ever decide to move, I won’t let the appliances overhear.

      --Nancie Clare, Editor-in-Chief, Los Angeles Times Magazine

      In this collection of essays about her and her husband’s hasty move from one house to another, witty and perceptive author Michele ‘Wojo’ Wojciechowski manages to turn the whole frustrating ordeal into a marvelous romp that’s engag- ing, entertaining, and flat-out funny.

      --Rick Detorie, Nationally Syndicated Cartoonist of One Big Happy and award-winning author of The Accidental Genius of Weasel High

      "The hilarity of home buying and selling is rich real estate in Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box. The American Dream can be a comedy of nightmares. Location, location, location, you want to be with Wojo when she raises her eyebrows (and her arms in supplication)."

      --Suzette Martinez Standring, Syndicated Columnist and award-winning author, The Art of Column Writing

      "If you’re moving, thinking of moving, or have moved, Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box is the perfect salve for your aches and pains. Read it when you’re hiding at the coffee shop during your Open House."

      --Jen Singer, author of You’re a Good Mom (And Your

      Kids Aren’t So Bad Either)

      "Michele Wojciechowski’s new book, Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box is a must read for anyone who has ever dreamed of moving into a new home. Her laugh- out-loud account of her relocation nightmare will quickly change your mind…and you will never look at bubble wrap the same way again!"

      --Tracy Beckerman, syndicated humor columnist and author of Rebel without a Minivan: Observations on Life in the ‘Burbs

      "Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box is like group therapy for anyone buying a house, selling a house, or making a move! Don’t let this book get packed away– you’ll want to keep it close by for regular doses of smiles!"

      --Jim Higley, columnist and author of Bobblehead Dad: 25 Life Lessons I Forgot I Knew

      "What do you do when your appliances revolt, the walls of your home buckle, and your husband suddenly becomes possessed by Mr. Clean? Well, if you’re Michele Wojciechowski, you turn it into comedy gold. Her latest book, Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box is a laugh- out-loud romp through home ownership and upgrade. You’ll laugh through every appliance in the throes of a prolonged demise, every mislabeled moving box, and each and every bit of marital anxiety that home ownership brings.

      "Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box is so good that it should not only be pleasurable reading, it also should be required reading for anyone who is even thinking of buying a home. If it were, two things would be certain: we’d have a lot more laughers and a lot more renters."

      --James Mendrinos, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Comedy Writing

      Michele Wojciechowski is the kind of war m, charming writer you want to spend an afternoon with. If you’re thinking about moving, read this book instead. It’ll be way more fun. (And cheaper.)

      --Jenny Hagel, Comedy Writer, (MTV, VH1, Second City)

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